I am very sorry for taking so long this time... Dishonor on my whole family, I know...
For those who forgot Shi is my OC too, she's supposed to be Wen's best friend/self-proclaimed sister... I do casually use her in chapters here and there.
Also some casual information for people who read only this story: In the 134 AG time Azula helped Zuko save the world, that's why her and Zari are coming back with him. Zari's 10 then. He's about 4 in the flashback.
Slight heads-up, this chapter is a note more tragic than the rest.
oooooooooo
128 AG
Azula was woken up by the sounds of swords clashing and people screaming. As soon as her mind was even a little bit conscious, the overwhelming smell of smoke made her open her eyes. The hallway was on fire and the room was probably next.
"Wen." she shook him awake and stood up.
He coughed a couple of times before realizing what was happening. He listened for the voices coming from down to hallway, while Azula already put on her shoes and his jacket.
"You wait here. I'll go get Zari." she said and disappeared into the hall.
Zari's room wasn't far away. This, highest floor, was reserved only for the three of them and usually had guards posted at the stairwell, but now, somehow they were nowhere to be found. Azula could easily calm the fire with her bending and quickly found their son still sleeping in his bed, unaware.
She woke him up gently and started putting on his jacket and shoes while he was still half-asleep, barely keeping his eyes open.
"What's going on?" the boy asked.
"We have to get out of here. I need you to hold this on your mouth, like this." she pulled his collar over his nose.
"Like this?" he tried it.
"Just like that. And breathe through it." she smiled slightly to give him the impression that she had things under control and then lifted him up in her arms. She took him back to where Wen was waiting, prepared to fight with a full pouch of water. They both knew there was no way this was just an ordinary fire caused by someone being irresponsible with candles. With so many benders around that would have been contained and solved before it reached their floor. No, this was something else. They were under some kind of attack. Unfortunately, there was no way to know what they were up against.
"Give him to me." Wen took Zari into his arms, since that was the deal they made a long time ago.
They planned for possible emergency situations and the agreement was that if only one of them could make it out with their child, Wen should be the one. Wen was far better with people, he was the one they were more likely to follow, he was an excellent father and knew healing that could help him save their son. Azula made all those arguments and many more so he had no choice but reluctantly agree.
"Any idea what we're about to walk into?" she asked.
"Benders, definitely. And a lot if they're keeping our guys so occupied." Wen said and then glanced at his son's face, "There's no reason to be worried, Zari. We got this, just three skilled warriors, having an adventure."
At that moment two men, clearly not working for them, ran up the stairs. Azula immediately jumped to fight them, trying to use the fire already in the hallway to her advantage. Wen decided she didn't need his help and turned so Zari couldn't see what she was doing.
"Does that mean I get to help?" Zari asked suddenly.
"Of course. You'll use your warrior muscles to hold onto me as tight as possible and you'll close your eyes and think about dragons."
"Dragons?"
"Yes, of course. I want you to really focus and come up with a good name you'd give to your dragon."
"I like dragons."
"I know."
While they were chatting Azula managed to take down the two men and another one who ran up the stairs after them.
"I said it before and I'll say it again, we need a back door to this place." she said and started moving downstairs. She was supposed to be first according to their plan and Wen was supposed to walk after carrying Zari and only engage when necessary.
"Are you sure you don't want a weapon?" Wen asked, picking up one of his swords, just in case.
"If I need a weapon, I'll take it." she said an they continued making their way to the exit.
Zari seemed preoccupied by the task his father gave him and said nothing the whole way, keeping his eyes closed. Around a corner they encountered one of their people, nothing more than a cook, fighting off two enemies. Since the boy was already on the ground, Azula leapt to help him and with one blast incapacitated the intruders.
"Can you stand?" Wen asked the boy cook and reached out a hand.
"Yes, thank you." the boy rose to his shaky feet, "I was sent to warn you. They-"
"We're under attack. We realized."
"Who is it?" Azula asked.
"I don't know, Ma'am. They're not wearing uniforms."
"We have to get out of here, Wen." Azula moved forward.
"We do. All of us. Here." Wen gave the cook his sword, "Go the long way to the exit, take everyone you find in the kitchens with you."
"Ye-Yes, Sir."
As they continued forward Azula had to fight larger and larger groups of enemies. Wen decided to join in to help, using only one hand to bend, while the other one held their son away from harm. In retrospect, Azula should have already known something was off there and then. These people were not the kind of amateurs they were used to coming after them. This was the kind of operation they were used to leading, not being the victim of. She kept it to herself, not wanting Zari to hear doubt in her voice, but she hoped Wen was catching on too.
"Die!" one of their enemies yelled while attempting to preform a sneak attack from behind a corner. Stealth at its finest... Maybe she had overestimated them. Even without using her fire she kicked the spear right out of his hand and then knocked him out with it.
"I told you I'd get a weapon if I needed it." Azula detested swords, but spears and throwing knives... Well, there was a time and place for them.
The shortest way to the exit was through their throne room. Making it there, they felt like they were already outside. But as soon as Azula made it past their two chairs she was faced with the largest group of enemies yet. About a hundred of them stood between her and the door. She froze in place, trying to come up with a way to double back without all these people immediately following behind.
Then Wen ran in after her, holding Zari.
"Get the two of them! What are you waiting for?!" a woman yelled and instantly got struck with Azula's spear. The Princess threw it to free up her hands for the firebending move she did next, which raised a wall of blue fire that reached from floor to celling and blocked the three of them from the attackers.
"Run, I'll hold them off as long as I can..." she said, but Wen didn't move an inch. She focused on the wall, but you could already see orange parts where their firebenders were trying to get through.
"Wen, we agreed. Wen!" she tried to get him moving, but with no success.
When he finally started waking he came to her, turned her towards him and pushed Zari into her arms. She didn't know what was happening, but she instinctively pulled her son closer. Wen used all the bending water he had to form a ball of snow around his wife and child and then sent them flying out one of the windows.
Now that Azula was gone, the wall of fire sizzled down to nothing in seconds and Wen was face to face with all one hundred enemies alone. No weapons, no water, just him.
The windows of the room overlooked a cliff and Azula and Zari were currently at the bottom of it, mostly unharmed. The snow softened the blow, and Azula was already trying to climb back to the window and help when she saw a flash of firebending, followed by a blood-curling scream she knew was Wen's. Hearing it felt like her skin was being peeled off, but what hurt even more was the sudden and complete silence that followed it.
For the first few seconds she felt paralyzed, not able to move or think or yell or cry. Then she refused to believe it. She continued climbing, twice as fast so she could see it for herself. See Wen alive and fighting...
One stone came off the side of the mountain and she slid right back down into the dirt. This made her angry enough to use all the fire power she had just to get there. For Wen. She had to...
"Mommy?" she heard from behind, "I opened my eyes. Can we go?"
There was no sound coming from upstairs. No fighting, no screams, no bending... Wen was not coming after them. He didn't plan on it.
"I'm scared, Mom. Can we go?"
Azula said nothing, just picked the little boy up in her arms again and started walking down the beach.
How dare he?! They had a deal! They talked, they presented arguments, they bloody agreed! Who gave him the right of deciding for the both of them?!
She picked up the pace, her walk turning into a run. She couldn't go to the main port, it would be overrun. There had to be someone at the back of the island still.
How could he do this to her?! He left her! He left them! Alone... She was completely alone.
"Oh, Azula... Finally!" Shi was still fighting with a few people at the back of the island. When the last man was knocked down, she ran to see if Azula or Zari were hurt. "You can go ahead into the rowboats. I'll go get Wen's ass over here, just tell me where he is."
"Wen..." Azula tried, but she remembered Zari was listening, so she just shook her head. Judging by Shi's face, she understood immediately.
"Let's get you onto the boats then."
Azula managed to walk into one of the rowboats and sit down, surrounded by her people, but then her movements froze just as her voice did before. She didn't move, she couldn't even give the order to leave, Shi did that.
It should have been her, Azula's mind screamed. I should have been her and he should be here. He should be here, she should have burned....
Only about a dozen of their rowboats left that island, all of them headed to the same place. One of their people remembered to send a message for help. One of the ship captains was picking them up a bit north from there and taking them to a safehouse they prepared in case this kind of thing ever happened. They planned, they prepared and still they were not ready.
Zari fell asleep on the boat, almost immediately after he realized his mother was ignoring all or his questions especially the ones about his father. He fell asleep in his mother's arms, Azula holding onto him like someone was trying to rip him away. Everyone on the boat understood their loss, so they remained quiet.
And in that quiet Azula started hearing things. Voices. Screaming, laughing, crying... Voices she's heard before and new ones, all speaking at once. She saw things as well. Things she knew weren't real. People who couldn't be there. She saw her hands on fire, her son on fire, their boat and the entire ocean as far as she could see everything burning.
But she didn't flinch. She closed her eyes, held Zari tighter and waited to make it to shore.
oooooooooo
134 AG
After a long journey the Fire Lord's ship finally reached the main island. They were all greeted by a giant, cheerful crowd, too big for Azula's taste. The people clapped for them as they came ashore, one by one. That is, they clapped for the Water peasants and their beaming Avatar, they clapped for their Fire Lord and his wife and daughter, but no one clapped when Azula and Zari stepped onto solid land.
Zari hardly seemed to notice from all the excitement of being just a short road from the palace, but Azula was worried. She knew that the crowds were only going to get bigger as they made their way up to Capital City.
As she watched Zari, shadowing Zuko, asking him question after question, she felt someone's hand gently touch her shoulder to get her attention.
"Everything alright, Aunt Azula?" It was Izumi.
"Yes, perfect."
"I talked to my mom and she agreed we should give you your old room back. I just need to clear my things first."
"That's not necessary. You're the Crown Princess, Izumi. You should have it." Azula looked over to Zuko who was saying goodbye to the Avatar and his friends. They had some more sailing in front of them before they reached their home.
"Or maybe Zari would like it." Izumi tried again, "I want you to feel welcome here."
"It's been yours longer than it's been mine, Princess. I'm not really sentimental like that." Azula said and Izumi nodded.
At that moment the royal palanquins arrived, finally, together with the people to carry them and an unimpressive number of guards. Zari spotted them coming and immediately ran to where his mom was standing with his cousin.
"Can I travel with Uncle Zuko?" he asked, "He said he'll tell me the story of how he got his dragon."
"Palanquins are usually meant for only one person, Zari. You'll have plenty of time to talk to him when we're at the palace."
"He can fit next to me. It's not a problem." Zuko walked by too.
Zari gave his mom a pleading look.
"Alright, you can. Just stay close to... Uncle Zuko." It still felt unusual to say. Well, to her. Not to Zari. He was loving it.
He beamed and started walking after his uncle, only to turn around and give his mom one quick hug.
"Thank you. Today is the best." he said before joining his uncle.
When everyone was seated the people started carrying the palanquins towards the palace while the guards cleared their way. Passing all the houses, familiar streets and squares, Azula almost felt... What was the word? Nostalgic... She never thought she'd come back here and be a princess again.
She wondered for a second what Wen would say if he could see her now. Would he be angry, betrayed maybe? Zari was happy, so she had to believe Wen would approve.
Suddenly the whole file of palanquins stopped. Azula was a bit lost in her thoughts, but Zuko immediately peeked his head out.
"What's the matter?"
"They refuse to step aside, my Lord." a guard said.
Zuko looked forward and there were indeed a few dozen people blocking their way. He swiftly got out of his palanquin and walked to his guards who were already trying to push the citizens out of the way.
"Move in the name of Fire Lord Zuko!"
"Move or we will be compelled to use force!"
Zuko really didn't like how quickly the situation got tense. None of the bystanders were happy with how the guards were reacting to this.
"Wait, wait... Stand down!" he ordered his guards, "What seems to be the problem here?"
"We have no problem with you, Fire Lord." one of the men blocking the way started, "It's who you're bringing with you."
Zuko looked back to where Azula was sitting then again at the crowd of protesters.
"The only place for her in the capital is in the dungeons!" After the protester said that a lot of people from the crowd cheered, bringing Azula's attention to the conversation.
"There are new developments that you're not aware of." Zuko tried to explain himself, even though he knew as a Fire Lord he didn't have to, "If you let us pass to the palace peacefully, I'll explain everything."
"What new developments? She killed and burned for your father, she has no place here anymore!"
"I am the Fire Lord and I say she does." Zuko said immediately causing a hundred independent voices from the crowd to start speaking all at once.
"We're the Fire Nation and we say she doesn't!"
People started pushing the guards, getting closer and closer to the royal family they protected. The sounds and the commotion worried Zari slightly, so he just stayed in the vehicle, perfectly still. After a few seconds he moved one of the curtains to check on his mother, but what he saw scared him. The people were rocking her palanquin, banging on the wood and attacking the carriers.
Azula quickly realized things got dangerous and stepped onto the street, facing the now quite angry mob. Yes, they appeared quite mad and unpredictable, but none of them actually dared touch her.
"If you have a problem with me, you're very welcome to step up and-" Azula stopped the second she saw Zari left the palanquin. He was probably scared for her. Probably felt like she should have some back up, rather than face this alone. He thought he could help. Sadly, his actions had the opposite effect.
As soon as Azula looked away from the crowd, the people started throwing ash at her, yelling all kinds of insults, mostly revolving around calling her an ashmaker. First it was just a little, enough to ruin her clothes, so she ignored them and tried to reach Zari, but as more and more people joined in ash filled the air and it was hard to see. Azula stumbled and fell.
Something about this brought back Wen's death. Maybe it was the feel of ash, maybe the smell or the heavy breathing, but it was over in a few painful seconds and her mind was back to reality. She finally realized she wasn't the only one they were doing this to, Zari somehow ended up caught in this too. She looked over and saw him coughing covered by ash. Seconds before she could reach him a man came up and shoved the boy down.
The ash was settling, and Zari could clearly see his attacker, but he didn't move. He lied on the street where he was pushed and stared back at the angry crowd, listening to their insults. The man who attacked the prince was still standing over him when Azula used a blast of blue fire to knock him down. She then stood over him and extended her fist, as to finish him, before Zuko stopped her.
The guards had regained control.
oooooooooo
128 AG
When the pirate ship arrived at the safe house, it was already after dawn. Azula laid Zari into one of the beds so he could continue sleeping undisturbed. Her people informed her they weren't followed and asked for further instructions, but she had noting to give them except vacant stares.
Shi was the only one with enough sense to take charge. It wasn't exactly protocol, but they were criminals, so screw protocol. She sent people to guard and secure a parameter around them, while others composed and sent out messages to their members all over the world. Everyone had to be told not to return to that place. They had to be told their king was dead...
Azula didn't think about any of that. She didn't care anymore. She couldn't bring herself to care. The safe house was right near the sea on the sand, so she ran along the beach until she was far enough away that no one could see her. Then she fell to her knees and cried. First a little, then a lot, until her breathing was so uneven she was sure she couldn't produce a single spark if she needed to. She could still taste the smoke.
One thing all the voices in her head were in agreement about was that this was her fault. All of this was her incompetence, he weakness...
And Wen was the only one who could make them shut up. But there was no more Wen. No more Azula and Wen. And with every second that passed it seemed more and more distant, like it was never real to begin with.
Worried, Shi followed after Azula. She expected to find their unofficial queen crying, yes, but not this. She looked completely ruined. Then she suddenly went quiet. Shi watched Azula calmly take off her shoes and place then neatly in the sand. Then button down her jacket, more accurately Wen's jacket, and start gracefully walking into the sea.
Azula had no intention of ever coming back. If Wen was gone, then what was the point of her here in this world without him? Fire took him, so it only made sense for water to take her. It would hurt a bit, yes, but it would shut the voices up, this time for good.
Working against the waves, Azula got into the water up to her waist when she finally heard Shi yelling from behind.
"Don't you dare!" Shi started running through water, "Stop!"
Azula completely ignored her until she felt a hand grab her and pull her back.
"You really think you can stop me?" she shook off her hand, but Shi grabbed her arm again, harder this time.
"You can't! Sit here, cry, scream and then come back to us when you're done." Shi spoke, but Azula didn't seem to be listening, "You're a mother! You're a queen!"
But Azula knew she couldn't be. Not like this. She was no good to anyone like this. And the only person that could fix her was... He was...
"Captain Shi, I order you to leave me." Azula tried, still looking into the horizon. The water was so cold she was beginning to lose all feeling in her toes. Good. It was going to be nearly painless.
"Screw your order! You don't know what you want, you're not thinking clearly."
Azula snickered at that, "Oh, how insightful... How in the world did you come to be this wise?"
"Listen, I'm not letting you. I can't tell Zari I let his mom die too."
"His mother died when his father did." Azula said and grabbed Shi's hand, heating it up so much Shi had to let go. She couldn't fight bending, but she was far from giving up.
"Please!" there was something Azula never thought she'd hear Shi say, "I know how you feel! I loved him too! He was my brother and now he's gone, but I'm not letting anyone else die!"
Shi's voice was so desperate one could almost mistake her for the suicidal one. Almost. Azula managed to ignore her and step further, but Shi followed.
"You don't understand anything..."
"I can't believe all of that was leading us here... I can't believe I'll have to tell Zari how his mother was a damn coward!" Shi barely had time to finish the last word before she was punched in the face. She should have been happy not to get incinerated.
Realizing what happened Shi punched Azula right back.
"Fine! Do what you want!" Shi started, "If you think this is how it ends for you... If you think Princess Azula of the Fire Nation is supposed to die completely alone on this stupid beach in the middle of nowhere then go ahead! After surviving terrible parents, the biggest war ever fought, living in captivity and as a fugitive, all without Wen, if you just want to give up then maybe you're not who I thought you were!"
After saying that Shi noticed she'd started crying. Not just for Wen, not just for Azula. For everything. She started running back to the house, looking back only once. Azula was still in the water, unmoving.
Shi then went to check on Zari, who was still sleeping soundly. She sat by him an tried not to think about it all. To imagine tonight didn't happen and it was just another morning. Just another time Zari slept in... And she'd wake him, race him to the kitchens. His parents already waiting there. Wen'd make a dumb joke about her being a kid so she'd punch him. Azula and Zari would laugh...
Footsteps interrupted her fantasy. Azula was at the entrance to Zari's room, still half-soaked form the sea, but alive, unharmed. Shi leapt up to hug her. They hadn't really done that ever before, but she didn't care.
"Thank all the Spirits..." Shi wasn't letting go, so Azula hugged back, "I am so glad you came back."
"How is he?" Azula pulled away to get a better look at Zari.
"He's fine. His breathing's clear, I don't think the smoke got him." Shi spoke as Azula started opening cupboards and getting shirts out to sort them, "What are you doing?"
"Packing."
Wen and Azula had clothes and other necessities ready for them and their son at all their safe houses. It was just a matter of picking out enough for a two-day trip.
"To go where?" Shi caught Azula's hands, but she pulled away and continued what she was doing.
"Capital City. My brother is still the Fire Lord."
"What would you want with that fool? Things are bad now, I get it, but we'll sort it all out."
"I'll take Zari to him."
"You can't be serious!"
"I can't protect him, Shi!" Azula raised her voice, forgetting her son was sleeping, "I can't do it... Not when I'm like this."
Azula was alright for the time being, the hallucinations were gone for now, but she had no idea how long that'll last. If it ever happened again she couldn't guarantee they would stop...
"He should be here with his family. What did those people ever do for him?"
"He's my son, so he's a prince no matter what. When I tell them, they'll keep him safer than I ever could. And I'll be free to go after those people. Avenge Wen."
"That's your plan? I thought you were supposed to be smart... The moment you show your face in that city they'll throw you in the dungeons and take Zari."
"Then I'll escape. It's what I have to do. When I'm done with the people that killed my husband, I'll be able to go back to normal. Then everything'll go back to the way-"
"If you give them Zari, they'll never give him back." Shi sighed, "They'll tell him lies, turn him against you. They'll tell him you left him because you didn't love him..."
"That's not true!" Azula lashed out and Zari changed sides on the bed.
She knew all too well how it felt waking up one morning with your mother gone. Not dead, just gone. Abandoned you for something more important. She knew that made you think there was something wrong with you. Some mistake you made that cost you your mother's love.
"I know that. I know how much you love him. I've seen it, but..." Shi tried, but Azula wasn't listening. She ignored the woman's words and got down to her knees to gently stroke her son's hair. She loved how some of his features reminded her of Wen, but she also loved how he got her jet black, Fire Nation hair.
Her mother did this to her and Azula spent much of her life hating her for it. She couldn't bare the thought of Zari thinking about her in that way. She couldn't prevent him from losing a father, but she'd do everything in her power to keep him from losing his mother.
"I won't give him to them." Azula said quietly and could hear Shi breathe in with relief right away, "We'll stay together, no matter what."
She finally had a few seconds to think her revenge plan through and she decided on using the same technique she used against her family. Grow stronger so you can defend yourself, but be happy to spite them. She never went after her father or her mother, she built a life for herself despite what they thought she could and couldn't become. Yes, she was everything but happy in that moment and telling Zari was going to make things even more painful, but they could get to happy eventually. She knew they would.
After deciding not to go in search of Wen's killers, she felt a sort of peace. Her mind stopped running wild with ideas and plans and all that was left was just a still, somber sadness.
"You can take command if you want, Shi." Azula added, shocking her friend, "I'm not getting Zari caught up in a power struggle."
Despite everything, she was aware she was much weaker now, without her husband. People would be stupid not to take advantage.
"No, I wouldn't dream of... Wen would come back to haunt me." Shi smirked, "Some of us talked about it already, we're all here because of you. We're as much your people as we were Wen's."
After saying that Shi opened the door to the rest of the building, banging the wood a few times to call the rest of their people over. They gathered quickly, at least those who weren't doing something important.
"I've sent the messages." one of the women informed Azula.
"The perimeter around the house is secure. They're not sneaking up on us again, Ma'am." another man from the growing crowd said.
"Are you sure you don't want to lead?" Azula asked Shi, "They did all of this on your orders."
"They did it for their Queen." Shi said before turning to the crowd, "Everyone on board with Azula staying as our leader say Aye!"
"Aye!" Every single man and woman joined in all at once.
Azula was always certain a large portion of their people, especially the earliest members, stayed only for Wen and tolerated her because they were a package deal. Spirits, was she glad to be wrong...
As she was processing what staying meant for her, she felt someone pull the cloth of her shirt.
"Mom?" Zari was awake and standing behind her. It made sense, they weren't exactly quiet.
She picked him up into her arms in front of the hundred or so of her people that just pledged themselves to her again.
"Then what are you waiting for?!" she yelled, "Prepare ships, we can't stay here sitting around like airbenders during a comet! Send word to the outposts in Earth Kingdom waters we're coming for a visit..."
"Yes, boss." Shi said, "Come on, you heard her! Go, go, go!"
She shooed all the people out of the room until it was just Zari and Azula again.
"Where're we going?" the boy asked while his mother carried him back to the bed and got under the covers with him.
"Far. Don't you worry, we don't leave for a few hours, you should go back to sleep."
"You'll stay with me?"
"Of course." Azula shut her eyes slowly, lying next to her son, hoping she'd get at least some sleep before she had to lead again.
"Can you tell a story, please?"
"Alright." she opened her eyes and pulled Zari closer, "I know hundreds of stories-"
"No. You have to do it like Daddy, you have to make one up for me." Zari said quietly, remembering the task Wen gave him, "Where is Dad?"
He was supposed to tell him the dragon name he came up with.
"So I have to make one up..." Azula successfully avoided the questions for now, "Once, lived a mother and son who were-"
"Dragons?"
"Yes, love. Beautiful, blue dragons, more powerful than any other creature that ever walked the earth, or flew in the sky or swam in the oceans. If fact, they were so powerful most of the other creatures were jealous and wanted to hurt them. They were chased out of their home and all alone, but the dragon mother would never let anyone hurt her baby dragon, not while she lived. That's why she took him far away and hid in the ocean, where no one could find them."
"Why not?"
"They were blue dragons."
"And the sea is blue!"
"Yes, Zari. The mother and son hid beneath the waves and stayed hidden because that was the only way they could be happy and safe from those who would hurt them."
oooooooooo
134 AG
"You need to calm down. It's over." Zuko said, after watching his sister pace around the room angrily for about ten minutes, occasionally mumbling something deeply disturbing. They were finally safe at the palace, for now, but they'd have to deal with the fallout from the protest for a long time.
"Over? Are you really that stupid?! They're not going to stop with this. No... This is just the beginning."
"We caught them, they'll be punished for what they did and that's the end of it."
"No..." Azula shook her head, "I'm not done with them! I'll track the rest of them down and I won't stop until there's nothing left of them but ash. Who do they think they are?"
"You have to understand, this country is not closed off anymore. Many of them have at least some foreign ancestry. The war, what was done to the other nations is personal to them."
"That was years ago, they should get over it. I can promise you, they'll regret even lying a finger on Zari."
"I agree, they got a little out of hand, but in the end, no one was hurt."
"No one was hurt..." she mocked his tone, before getting in his face, "Listen, my son is in his room crying his eyes out right now! So don't tell me to calm down, don't tell me no one got hurt! You have no idea how badly he wanted this, to be here, to see all of this... And then he finally does, and he's attacked. I'll burn this palace to the ground before I'd let that happen again!"
Azula finished her piece and took a few steps away from her brother, her face expression softening. She sat down, trying to steady her breathing. Zuko had no idea what to say. Every word that left his mouth seemed to irritate her.
"I'm sorry." he walked closer but didn't dare touch her hand or shoulder. They were supposed to be real brother and sister now, but he still didn't think she'd accept it.
"Don't apologize, it has nothing to do with you. They adore you."
"It's because they don't know you. They're living in the past. We'll show them the new you," Zuko kept going, ignoring Azula's snicker, "If you want I can call Aang, he'll explain what you did for all of them."
"I don't want that. I don't even know if we're staying until I talk to Zari."
"I really wish you would." Zuko said, creating a few seconds of painful silence.
"You know, when I was doing Dad's bidding I knew that if we lost I'd have to pay for what I did. I knew I'd be hated and persecuted and I was prepared to live with that. I was never scared of paying the price for what I did. But what I could never imagine back then is that I would have someone I love who'll have to suffer those consequences because of me."
Zuko opened his mouth to contradict her, but she didn't let him, "Don't deny it. My son is suffering because of who I was thirty years ago."
"I could go talk to him. Explain everything to him gently." he suggested, "He has to know this is neither his or your fault."
"No. I'll go." she stood up, "I know he looks up to you for some reason, but you've known him two days. I know how to talk to him."
"Well, I'm here if you need me."
oooooooooo
Alright, I know this chapter is a lot...
I needed a bit longer to finish it, because all the scenes are so damn sad. Anyway, had to happen.
I originally thought I'd finish this story with Wen's death, but I have one more in the works. I'll probably take a long time again, because real life is exhausting.
Apologies for any mistakes, I am back to being chronically sleep-deprived.
Kind of a disclaimer, even though I wrote Shi talking to a suicidal Azula the way I did and it ended up working in the story, it features a lot of bad "advice". Every person is different, but Azula checks a few suicide boxes, like mental illness and recent loss of someone close, so I thought it was believable enough. Especially if she thought her hallucinations might not stop ever again. What is a bad idea, though, is insulting, guilt tripping, shaming or punching the person you're trying to help... I realized recently it could be read to wrong way... What I meant to happen was Azula calming down on her own after hearing what Shi has to say. Not all of what she has to say just the good bits helped her.
Since Azula didn't end up getting revenge for Wen's murder, I didn't really explain who killed him here. It's all in my other story, "While The Parents Are Away", but the point is that it's really not important. They way they were living and working it could have been any one of their enemies, known or unknown. It only took one little mistake for everything to crumble. And Azula had to build it back up, alone.
Anyway, comments would be very appreciated :)