Avery Black
I touched my flat belly. It hadn't grown or anything, but now that I know there's a baby in there, I felt like it was providing protection somehow.
I roughly pinpointed the date of conception.
I was racking my brain because Oliver was always sure to wear protection whenever we had sex.
Except for our wedding night and one other night.
The night we conceived was when Marie and Jeremiah was arrested and I found out everything.
It was the night we had sex in the shower.
I desperately needed him to take all the pain away and make me forget the horrors of the past. Even if it was just a little while.
I leaned back in my chair and rubbed my throbbing temples.
Oliver barely talked to me since we found out. I've been trying to talk to him about it but he just cuts me off or dismisses me entirely.
I clenched my jaw and blinked away the tears that were forming. I needed to know what to do. My fear and anxiety was multiplying at an alarming rate.
Is he rejecting me and the baby? If so, couldn't he just get it over and done with?
I've had enough.
It was the end of the day and everyone had already packed up.
So, I stood from my seat and opened his office door.
"What is it?" Oliver muttered while staring at his computer screen.
I frowned at his tone.
"Mr. Black," His blue eyes snapped up to mine. "How about we actually have a proper discussion where it's not about work and you're not dismissing me?"
He seemed genuinely surprised at my stern tone.
"Avery, I don't want to talk about it right no-"
"Well, too bad! It's happening now!" I snapped. "I don't understand why you won't talk to me!"
All my frustration was starting to bubble up to the surface.
He studied my face and clenched his jaw. "It's nothing."
"It's not!" I exclaimed. "This" I touched my stomach. "Is not nothing, Oliver! You can't keep dodging it. It's not going to disappear if you ignore it!"
Oliver stood up abruptly. "I'll find my own way home. I don't want to talk about this and definitely not here." He clenched his jaw and walked straight past me.
I breathed out a shaky breath before completely bursting into tears.
I went back to my desk and sat down. My phone buzzed on the wooden desk. I wiped my tears and cleared my throat.
"Hey, Erica."
"What's wrong?" She asked immediately.
I thought I did a good job at sounding fine, but apparently not.
"It's nothing, I'm just not feeling well." I choked on a sob and eventually dissolved into a puddle of tears.
"Where are you?" She asked, worry laced her voice.
"The company."
"Wait there. I'm only a few blocks away."
She hung up and I tried my best to pull myself together but failed miserably. I resigned myself to being a mess.
Erica came sooner than I thought she would.
"What's wrong? Where's Olly? He didn't pick up his phone." She frowned at the cell in her hand.
"He left." I sniffled.
"What happened?" Erica asked softly and rounded the desk.
"I'm pregnant." I blurted.
Erica's eyes widened. "Oh."
I frowned at her. "Oh?"
She sighed and shook her head. "Let me take you home."
I nodded and shut everything down. I slipped my laptop in my bag and stepped out with her. Erica linked her arm in mine and we went down to the parking lot and into Erica's white Audi.
After a tense silence Erica spoke.
"If I know my brother as well as I think I do, I would say he's scared." She said while keeping her eyes on the road ahead. Erica turned her head to me. "He'll tell you everything when he's ready."
We stopped outside the apartment building.
"Call me anytime, hun." She said and smiled. "And don't worry, I won't tell anyone. For what it's worth I would love a neice or nephew to spoil!" She laughed.
I smiled at her and waved goodbye as the doorman helped me out.
I entered the quiet apartment.
I felt hungry but was too tired to cook so I just made a sandwich, showered and went to bed. My mind was racing for an hour. I was trying to figure out what Oliver could be afraid of. I came up with nothing reasonable for Oliver to be behaving this way.
I gave up and decided to get up for a glass of water instead of drown in my own thoughts.
As I entered the kitchen I saw Oliver at the sink with his back to me.
Even after he managed to piss me off and basically ignore me and the baby, I still craved to be near him.
I stepped closer and wrapped my arms around his waist.
He tensed up at first but relaxed a little.
"Oliver, I'm scared." I whispered against his back. He took a sharp intake of breath.
I held back the tears that were threatening to fall. We stood there in silence. I could feel his steady heart beat through his t-shirt.
We let the silence consume us. We were both lost in our own thoughts.
I sighed and pecked his shoulder blade before letting him go.
As I was sliding my arms out he grabbed my wrists and put them back on his abdomen.
"Avery, I don't want to lose you." He said quietly while leaning over the sink and staring at the grey splash back tiles.
I frowned. "Why would you lose me?"
He breathed out a shaky breath and tightened his grip on my arms. "I watched Mom go into cardiac arrest when Erica was born, she had a bleed they didn't see until it was too late. Erica nearly died as well."
I wrapped my arms around him tighter.
"I'm sorry you had to watch that." I leaned my forehead on his back. "But Oliver, it's rare for that to happen."
"But it does happen!" He snapped. I flinched a little not expecting his outburst. He breathed out and loosened my grip before turning around to face me.
His icy blue eyes looked hard but softened when he gazed into mine.
"I can't risk losing you, Ave." He whispered and held my face in his hands. "I can't get attached to a child only to have it taken away."
"This isn't just your decision to make." My voice cracked. "I love you, but I already love this baby." Tears fell over my cheeks and lips. "Don't make me lose something I already love. I just can't do it, Oliver."
I took a step back out of his hold, his hands dropped down to his sides.
"If your only reason is because you're afraid of what could happen, then come with me to the doctor. Question them, just please, please don't shut down on me. I'm scared and uncertain just like you. I don't know what I'm doing, but I want to work through it together. I need you."
Oliver wore an unreadable expression. After recieving no reply, I turned and walked back up the stairs leaving him in the silence of the kitchen.
I stirred from my sleep when I felt Olivers arms hold me to his chest securely.
He pecked my bare shoulder and settled into the pillows.
I sighed in content.
It's terrible that a young boy had to watch his mother die and be brought back to life.
I could see how it would scar him.
I just didn't know what to do to convince him that it would be okay.
Especially since I wasn't so sure myself.