*Unedited*
I didn't see her again after that. Not that I didn't want to because it was almost as if her soul had imprinted on mine and called to me ever so often. But I couldn't see her again. I didn't like the weird effect she had over me. It was like I became powerless in her presence and lost all control and I couldn't let that happen anymore. After all, my name is Lucifer. I was the ultimate traitor, the source of all evil. I couldn't become weak to a little girl.
Oh, we're back to that again. How often do you keep these pity parties?
I practically growled at the voice inside my head. After days of ignoring Mira, and days of silence without the voice in my head, I had genuinely thought it had left. I was back to being alone.
You're so annoying.
Ditto. I didn't know what was wrong with me. I liked the feeling of being thanked. I felt a warmth spread all over my body when she said 'thank you' that morning yet still that feeling was quickly replaced by guilt. I didn't deserve a 'thank you.' I spent my days destroying the lives of others to make everyone experience the torture I called life. I took the lives of many, women, men, children- I didn't care. They were all just bodies to me, I had no regards for their souls. So, I didn't deserve it.
It's never too late to change.
Maybe I was a coward.
A coward doesn't take on the Almighty. Bravery was never your flaw.
Yet again the voice in my head was right. I was never a coward nor was I weak. But maybe I was comfortable with my pity parties, maybe I was comfortable with the torture...it gave me a reason to hate someone else rather than myself. Maybe I was scared of changing.
Maybe you need to decide if redemption is really what you seek or if you want to burn in hell forever.
I didn't have the time to think about what the voice in my head was saying because suddenly I felt a rush of fear come over me. I was confused at first because I wasn't sure what I had to fear but then I realized that the fear didn't belong to me. It was the fear of someone else. But why was I feeling it?
Lucifer.
That wasn't the voice in my head. No. That voice was sweet and melodic. It was the voice I had come to know to belong to the human who I wanted nothing more to do with. The voice belonged to Mira.
Lucifer.
She sounded afraid and that didn't sit well with me. I wasn't sure why I cared for the human or if I even did but I was affected by her somehow. My chest tightened as another wave of fear washed over me and that brought me to my feet. Why was she calling out for me? If something was wrong shouldn't she have called out for God? Or someone else? In fact, anyone else. Just leave me alone.
Lucifer, please!
The last one sounded desperate and I suddenly found myself where she was. I found her trapped in her car which was half submerged in a lake. With a quick glance, it was obvious she had met in an accident and her car was thrown off the bridge above us. There was blood and despite usually feeding on the pain and chaos of many, I felt weak.
Mira immediately sensed my presence and her eyes, which seemed to be losing life, met mine in a hurry, quickly pleading with me to help her. But she was barely holding on to life and I had long given up on saving people.
There was blood gushing from her head, and she seemed to be holding on to one of her legs from where the car was hit. And the half-crushed car was sinking. In my eyes, she was a goner. That alone was enough to wake me up because suddenly I realized, I had just gotten Mira, even though I didn't know what she was, I had just gotten her, and I wasn't ready to lose her yet. Maybe I would never be.
"Mira," I sounded breathless and I probably was because seeing Mira like that made me feel human things...things I couldn't quite understand.
"Luci-" her eyes rolled over and she passed out.
I dove headfirst into the water and tore the crushed door from the car, gently pulling Mira into my arms. I could hear the ambulance not too far away and with what little energy I had, I brought us towards the edge of the lake and rested Mira on the gravel. I heard the crushing of stones beneath their feet before I saw the paramedics. They ran towards Mira and quickly retrieved her lifeless body.
I tried to reach out for her, but they were long gone, running around me as though I wasn't there. No. I can actually save her. There was nothing that they could do to help my Mira.
Save her but at what cost Lucifer? Doom her soul to hell? You can't save Mira without killing her. Remember who you are. You were too late.
I ignored the voice inside my head and ran towards the ambulance before it took off. Sitting in the corner, I watched the busy bodies working over Mira, fighting to keep her alive. She called out for me and I couldn't even help her. Is this what it has really come to? Is this really the life I chose?
No. Mira made her choice. She chose to believe in me and she was wrong for that. I wasn't who she thought I was. I wasn't a savior, I was a destroyer and now she would learn that the hard way. But she couldn't die. She was the only one who could see me and if she was the key to my redemption then she had to stay alive.
And even though it might have been for selfish reasons, I found myself whispering the words, "God please, I know I have no right to ask...but she is one of your own, one of the good ones." But as usual, I felt nothing. My connection to God had been long severed and it seemed it would stay that way.
They were moving again. Mira was being pulled out of the ambulance and into the emergency room in the hospital. I followed closely behind, monitoring her every movement. She was losing a lot of blood and was yet to regain consciousness. Sometimes her eyes would move under her eyelids and her hands would twitch and other times she seemed completely dead.
"We have to go into surgery immediately."
"She lost too much blood."
"We don't have a choice."
There was so much chaos around me, so many sick, so much potential for death but for once I didn't feel good about it. I just wanted everyone to shut up and for Mira to open her eyes with her irritating smirk. I didn't understand why I felt so connected to her...I couldn't...human feelings were unusual to me. All I knew is that I had watched her for over a year, protected her even, if you could call it that, and I wasn't ready to let go of that or her.
I felt my chest tighten as I looked down on her. Pushing by me, they carried her into the operating room. I chose to stay outside because I didn't think I could bear to hear them announce Mira dead and then to know I would never encounter her soul again because she wouldn't be going where I was bounded.
She was in there for hours and nothing. At some point, they wheeled her bed out of the emergency room but she was still unconscious and well, still very much high risk. Eventually, her friends showed up, the guy I didn't like and the other girl. Both were crying hysterically as they clung to each other desperately hoping she would be okay.
I waited...waited for her parents, a sibling or just any family member to show up. But nobody came for Mira. Where was her family? Wasn't she leaving someone behind? Didn't she have any loved ones? Was she alone? Like me?
The doctor emerged not long after and walked towards them, "Are you her family?"
"I'm her emergency contact," the girl stepped forward weakly.
"Well, the patient has been stabilized. She has a head injury and seeing as she's still unconscious we're not certain about the extent of that for now. Her leg was also punctured but no bones were broken. She also suffered some broken ribs and there was some internal bleeding in the chest. Right now, we can only wait until she wakes up, but she has been unresponsive," the doctor informed them and I felt like I should have been breathing a sigh of relief but I couldn't.
She was alive. She was okay. But she was badly hurt and I couldn't even imagine the pain she was probably feeling. I left the doctor talking to Mira's friends and walked towards the room she was now staying in. I gently pushed the door open and entered, freezing in the doorway.
I ignored the aching in my chest and walked closer to her bed. She had several bandages all over her body and there was dried blood in her hair still but somehow, she still managed to look beautiful. Her skin was pale, and she almost looked dead.
I reached out and touched her smooth skin, before completely grasping her hand in mine. Her hands were cold and I could practically feel the pain rolling off her body in waves. Resting my hand above hers, I tried to ease her pain by taking it away. The minute that all she was feeling came over to me, I quickly let go of her hand and fell to my knees. It was too much.
If you can't bear it then neither can she.
The mere fact was enough to bring me to my feet once more and hold on to her trying to take even half of her pain away. I started slowly and then gradually continued to take more until eventually, she was barely feeling anything.
Careful now, if she can't feel anything, she's dead.
I let go of Mira's hand quickly. It had been so long since I had eased someone's pain. I used to do it all the time back when I was an angel but that's been a while now. Smiling down at her, I saw that some of her color had returned to her face. I even saw her hand twitch a little.
Then it happened again. And then she was completely shaking, violently and wildly, so much that she almost fell off the bed. I quickly pressed the button beside her bed to alert the doctors that something was wrong and in no time, they were rushing into her room.
"Patient is having a seizure," one barked out.
"Hurry, she's becoming unresponsive," another one cried.
They were all frantic and suddenly, I couldn't breathe myself. The room was closing in on me and the doctor's words were like knives to my chest. I went to leave the room because I didn't deserve to be there. I had only caused Mira more harm in trying to help. Pushing open the door to leave, I heard the words I had desperately hoped not to hear today, not when it came to Mira.
"Not seeing any sign of life."
No. Not Mira.
HEY GUYS!!
So I finally update Lucifer. I'm kinda busy with my final year in school and all, but aside from that I also feel as if I've lost my connection with Lucifer and I'm sorry if that shows with this chapter (hopefully it doesn't).
Anyways, I'm trying to rekindle my love the story so that I can rediscover the direction of it and continue the book with more regular updates.
I hope you enjoy! Leave a comment and let me know what you think!