Me and Ashton had gotten back to my house twenty minutes ago. We got some food and were now in Ashton's room sitting on his bed in silence. He hasn't spoke much since we left his aunts house.
"So are you going to tell me what that was all about earlier?" I asked, breaking the horrible silence in the room.
"I told you we always argue" Ashton sighed turning around to look at me.
"Yeah but why?" I questioned. I really wanted Ashton to tell me.
"Just..just because, it doesn't matter"
"I heard about Lauren and harry.." I trailed off, unsure weather I should have mentioned that or not.
"Yeah.." Ashton mumbled.
"Are you okay with that?"
"Obviously not jess, how would you fucking feel if your mum sent Sarah all the way to America without your permission?" He snapped.
"Sorry.."
"No..I'm sorry I shouldn't have snapped like that.." He sighed, playing with the sleeves on his sweater.
"Its okay ash I understand" I sighed back, resting my head on his shoulder. "I just wish you would trust me enough to tell me how you feel and what's going through your head"
"I do trust you jess..I just don't want to tell you what's going on inside my head, I'm pretty fucked up in here" he slowly knocked on his head.
"But you tell me when your drunk" I looked up at him, he had a confused expression on his face.
"What the hell have I told you when I've been drunk?" He giggled nervously.
"Nothing" I smirked and he frowned.
"Tell me" he pouted cutely.
I debated weather or not to tell him, but I couldn't say no to his cute puppy dog eyes.
"Okay.. You um..you told me about your mum, how you felt when you watched her um..die and the nightmares you have every night because of it"
"Oh..um" He sighed and looked up at the ceiling as if he was trying to stop himself from crying.
"And you might also have said something about your feelings towards me.."
"What?" Ashton looked at me, his mouth open in shock.
"It was sweet" I smiled.
"Shit. Remind me never to get drunk around you ever again" he looked away, biting on his bottom lip.
"Oh my god are you blushing?" I giggled.
"What? No! fuck off" he pushed me away gently.
"You totally are!" I laughed, tickling him.
"Jess!" He giggled.
"Oh your ticklish?" I smirked.
"Don't you even think about it!" He tried to give me a serious face but ended up smiling.
"Think about what?" I asked sweetly, edging closer to him.
"You know wh-" he was cut off by me tickling him, he fell backwards on the bed screeching like a little girl.
"Oh my god your such a girl" I laughed as he tried to get away from my grasp.
"F-Fuck off J-Jess" he giggled breathlessly.
I laughed more and decided to sit on him so he wouldn't get away from me. I loved hearing him laugh, showing his award-winning smile and dimples. His giggle could basically be the ringtone to my life it was that perfect. I straddled his stomach and tickled him more, I loved seeing him grow weak under me, squirming to get away from this torture.
"Jess stop! P-Please" he pleaded, moving his hands to my waist to try and get me off him.
"Nope" I smirked, taking his hands and pinning them down on the bed at either side of his head before going back to tickling him.
"J-Jess stop! I can't f-fucking breath I'm going to d-die" he giggled.
"Awh poor baby" I mocked, tickling his neck. He let out a loud laugh which I'm pretty sure has woken up my mum and sister.
"Stop it!" He whined before taking my wrists in his hands and holding them in the air, we fought for a while, me trying to release his grip so I could tickle him again and him holding on to stop me, but he was too strong I couldn't compete with him so I give up. "Finally" he sighed breathlessly.
"That was fun!" I giggled looking down at him.
"No it wasn't, that was fucking awful" he smirked. "But I'm gonna get you back!"
"No your not!" I laughed as I got off him and ran across the room away from him.
"Wanna bet?" He whispered in my ear which made me squeal, I didn't even know he was behind me.
"Ashton don't!" I pointed sternly walking slowly backwards.
"I just want a hug" he pouted sweetly, holding his arms out.
"No!"
"Please?" He cocked his head sideways, still pouting. It was fucking adorable.
"Fine just one hug" I sighed and walked over, wrapping my arms around his waist as he did the same. I rested my head on his chest and he rested his chin on my head. He was too tall, it made me sad.
"I can hear your heart beating" I smiled even though he couldn't see.
"Its beating for you" his voice was muffled by my hair.
"Huh?" I looked up at him, he was smiling looking into the distance.
"Nothing" he looked at me before I felt his leg trip me up from behind making me fall to the floor with him landing on top of me. We stayed in that position for a few minutes before Ashton started tickling me. I jolted up immediately and hit my head off his.
"Fuck!" "Oww" we both said in unison while holding our heads. We looked at each other before giggling.
"That fucking hurt!" Ashton laughed, laying on the floor beside me.
"Sorry" I chuckled. "I told you not to tickle me"
"Whatever" he sighed, I turned my head to look at him. He was staring up at the ceiling smiling. I couldn't help but notice his perfectly sculpted face, the little bit of stubble he had growing, the way his eyes moved as if he was searching for something and how the light hit off him in all the right places making him look even more beautiful.
All I could think was, Am I really falling for Ashton again?
-
"Your voice is perfect" I couldn't stop smiling. Ashton and I were laying in bed sharing headphones listening to music, I don't think he realised that he was singing, but he sounded like an angel.
"What?"
"Your singing, its beautiful"
"No its not" he laughed. "I'm fucking crap at singing"
"Your amazing! I smiled.
"Whatever, thanks..." He smiled back.
"No problem" I poked his nose before cuddling back into him.
We stayed silent for what seemed like an hour but was probably only ten minutes. I had my leg wrapped around Ashton's stomach while he had his arm wrapped around my waist, drawing shapes on the exposed skin on my hip. It was really relaxing, I had just fallen asleep when a very loud song came on and made both of us jump.
I sat up slightly and looked at Ashton, he was falling asleep again, his head slowly dropping to the side. I gently took my headphone out of his ear along with my own and turned the music off, before turning my phone off I looked at the time, it said 4:30am which means instead of me thinking I had just fallen asleep we had actually been sleeping for almost two hours. I reached over and set my phone on one of the bedside tables before cuddling into Ashton again.
"I'm sleepy" Ashton muttered in my ear as he snuggled his head into my neck.
"Me too" I yawned.
"Sleepy.." He wrapped his muscular arms tightly around my waist again, pulling our bodies closer together.
"Sleepy bunnies.." At this point I have no idea what I'm saying because I'm so tired.
"Bunnies.." Ashton repeated after a few seconds of silence.
"Mhm.."
"Night night jess" Ashton whispered quietly.
"Goodnight Ash" I replied sleepily.
"I love you" he mumbled.
I felt the butterflies erupt in my stomach, the feeling I used to get when I just looked at Ashton, when I actually had feelings towards him. Maybe I still do..maybe everything that has happened recently has made me realise its been Ashton all along.
"I love you too" I replied almost immediately without having to think about what I was saying.
Ashton's smile against my neck was the last thing I felt before slowly falling asleep again.
--------------------------
Eh...:/
Yay update!!!! :D
Comment your thoughts?:)
I also wanna ask something... Would you rather me do short updates during the week or do one or two long ones at the weekends?!:)