Warning: There are things in this chapter related to suicide. I am not promoting any of this stuff including suicide, self harm, etc. Please do not end your life at a young age, there is still so much to live for. I would also like to dedicate this chapter to Seventeenfan123 for being my first commenter! Thxs so much! :)
Yue's P.O.V.
I was shocked to see Meizuo in front of me. I playfully slapped his arm, something like this would usually go on with the boys, them randomly kissing me on the forehead, cheeks, etc. We treated each other like siblings, so it never really bothered me, but it would drive Ah Si crazy.
" Really? You kiss me because you have no date?" I asked raising my eyebrows.
" Just this once." he told me. " And besides, it was just a peck on the lips. What harm could that do?"
" You do know I have a boyfriend right? And he would probably kill you if he found out." I told him.
" Don't worry he won't find out." Meizuo assured me.
I turned around to see Shancai on the sand on top of my brother. " Hey, Meizuo, look." I tapped his arm.
We both looked at Shancai and Ah Si who were both on top of each other, lips touching. Basically, they were kissing. Oh and yeah, Shancai was on top of my brother. Someone also happened to record that so all of this was now streaming live on Weibo.
Shancai realized what had just happened and scrambled off my brother. Not that he minded, I think. Shancai quickly stood up along with my brother. Everyone, literally everyone was watching the scene unfold.
" I was wondering who tackled me. So, it was you." Ah Si broke the silence. " You almost knocked my teeth out." Ah Si and Shancai just looked at everyone awkwardly.
" Hey." my annoying brother said to Shancai. " What kind of expression is that?"
" Was that..." Ah Si started asking. Oh gods, it would have been fine if it weren't her first kiss but now, I feel bad for her. " Was that your first kiss?"
I could see that Shancai had tears in her eyes. Poor girl. Shancai looked to Lei and then ran away from embarrassment.
What a night.
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The next morning, F4, Jing and I were sitting at a table by the beach. I was reading a book about a boy who is the son of Poseidon and is framed for stealing Zeus's lightning bolt. I was on the chapter called " I Plunge to My Death. " until I felt a tap on my shoulders. I looked up from my lap to see Lei looking at me.
" What book are you reading?" he asked.
" It's called, " Percy Jackson and the Olympians, the Lightning Thief. " by Rick Riordan, published July 1st, 2005." I gave him the full description.
He gave me a puzzled look, " And you say you're not a nerd."
" Shut up." I told him. I look over to the stairs that lead to the beach and I see Shancai and Qinghe. Everyone else looks to where I was looking and see the two familiar people.
" Hey. First kiss Shancai!" Ximen called out to her. I thought he called her Ms. Flying Kick?
" That's not very nice." I told him, before continuing to read my book.
Shancai turns around to look at us, " Don't call me that." She said to Ximen.
" What first kiss?" Qinghe asked.
I sighed, " Here comes the crushing news," I told everyone.
" Shancai and Ah Si kissed last night." Ximen told Qinghe with a smile.
" What? Shancai, is that true?" Qinghe looked to Shancai, wanting a proper answer.
" I..." Shancai started.
" Of course it's true. I'm sure she's been waiting so long for this." Ah Si said to Qinghe. I felt bad for the two, but I got to admit, Qinghe's reaction was amusing.
I looked up and saw Ximen, Meizuo and Ah Si with smiles on their faces, " She tackled me and gave me her first kiss." Ah Si continued.
" Oh my god," Qinghe said, surprise written all over his face. " Really?"
I got up and flicked Ah Si on the head. " I don't think you're helping." I told him.
" No," Shancai said as she went up to Lei. " It was dark. I couldn't see anything. That's why-"
" You don't need to explain," Lei cut her off. " I don't care who you kiss." Ouch...
Shancai just looked down and walked away. I sighed, closed my book and stood up. I could hear the boys calling after me but I just waved them off. I followed the path that Shancai had taken.
I saw Shancai sitting by the docks and approached her.
" Are you okay?" I asked her.
" I'm sorry Yue, but I feel like being alone right now. But I wasn't going to give up that easily.
" I'm sorry about Lei. He can be very blunt sometimes." I said, sitting down next to her, dipping my feet in the water.
" It's okay, it's not his fault, I guess." Shancai replied.
" If you feel like crying, just let it out. It's worse for your body if you keep your emotions to yourself." I said to her.Oh gosh, I probably sound like Lei. From the corner of my eye I could see tears streaming out of her eyes.
" Why? Why did I have to like him?" Shancai asked.
" Hey, you can't control who you love." I said to her.
" You don't have to be with someone if you love them, you can continue loving them even if they are with someone else. Or, you can move on. Huaze Lei may not return your feelings, but I know for sure that he thinks of you as a friend." I almost whispered. This reminded me of a person that I knew in the past.
Shancai was practically breaking down right now, she must of had a lot of emotion she was holding in. I pulled her in for a hug and patted her back. We just sat there for a while not saying a word.
" How do you know all of this?" Shancai asked.
" Did I ever tell you the story of my first love?" I asked.
" No," Shancai shook her head. " What does it have to do with this?"
" Well," I trailed on. Here goes nothing.
Narration
After I had graduated High School, instead of going to my first year at Ming De, I went to work in Korea to get away from everyone. The company I was working for was called Gravity , which had specialized in video games. I was looking for a fun place to work so I applied for the job. Once the people had looked at my resume, I was hired.
I was working there for at least three months when I had met him.
Flashback
I was walking back to my desk looking at the new project I was assigned, not paying attention to where I was going. I kept on walking until I crashed into someone. I felt a burning feeling all over my upper body. I looked down and saw that someone had spilled hot coffee all over me.The coffee made my clothes stick to my body, which I hated.
" Oh my gosh! I'm so sorry!" the boy apologized in Korean. " You seem to be in a sticky situation."
I was frustrated but decided not to show it. " It's fine." I told him as I sighed.
" No it's not! Here follow me." he said as he grabbed a hold of my wrist. I just followed him, because there was nothing else I could do.
He brought me to this room with a bunch of clean clothes.
" What is this place?" I asked him.
" We usually keep clean clothes here because stuff like this usually happens, considering this place that specializes in video games, we usually sit around on the computer all day and accidents happen. Eventually, the manager got so annoyed, he just took a room that we used for storage and put a bunch of fresh and clean clothes in it." the boy replied.
" I'll wait for you outside then." he said as he stepped outside of the room.
I quickly changed not wanting him to wait long. I stepped out of the room and he examined me from top to bottom.
" Oh, by the way, what's you're name?" the boy asked.
" My name's Daoming Yue." I said. " And you?"
" I'm Riku, Riku Yeong." he replied.
We shook hands and I looked at him, eyes filled with curiosity. His named seemed like a mix of Japanese and Korean.
" Your name seems to be a mix of Japanese and Korean, why is that?" I asked.
" Oh, yes. My mother is Japanese but my father is Korean, so technically I'm half." Riku replied.
" Well, thank you. And we should probably get back to work now." I said.
" Alright, bye. See you later." Riku waved and I waved back.
End of Flashback
Back to Narration
That was the first time we met. The next time, I was working overtime and he was about to leave. He treated me to a cup of coffee and we both just talked for a while. Soon we became very close friends. He had introduced me to two other people. One boy and one girl. The boy's name was Chen Fu Liang, who was Chinese-Korean. And the girl's was Yuki Yamamoto. The four of us grew closer and became best friends.
Little did I know though, that I had started to develop feelings for Riku. But by the time I had realized my feelings, it was too late.
Flashback
" Hey, Keiko?" Yuki asked me, one day when we were taking a walk around the park. Keiko was my Japanese name and it's what the group called me. (A/N: Yes, I am using the actress, Keiko Kitagawa, that plays Yuki; I am using her real name as Yue's Japanese name. Very original right?)
" Yes?" I looked to her.
" I have something that I want to tell you." She said nervously.
" Yuki, what is there to be nervous about? You know you can tell me anything." I said kicking a pebble, waiting for her to continue.
" I-I think I've fallen for Riku." She said shyly. I smiled, but I could feel a twist in my gut.
" That's great! You should tell him! I'm sure he likes you too. No matter what happens, I'll always support you." I said to her, forcing a smile.
" Thank you so much Keiko! I'm glad I have your support! I'll confess to him soon!" She replied smiling.
End of Flashback
And she did. She confessed to Riku and it turns out, Riku loved her too. They became boyfriend and girlfriend, and eventually fiancés. I don't know why, but that moment where Riku asked me how to propose to Yuki, something in me broke.
Yes, Another Flashback
I was sitting at the stump of a tree, crying, when I felt someone sit next to me. I looked up to see Liang. I just looked down and continued crying. I felt Liang pull me into a hug and pat my back. He didn't say anything, he was usually the quiet type. Kind of like Huaze Lei, in a way.
" Keiko, oh, Keiko, what has the world done to you?" he asked as he stroked my hair. (POTC reference.)
" Riku, I love him." I whispered, but I knew Liang had heard it. " But he's engaged to Yuki."
" Don't worry, you have me. I'll always be there for you." Liang whispered into my ear. "Because I love you."
I was shocked, " I'm sorry Liang, but I can't move on that fast." I told him sincerely.
" Then I'll wait. I can spend a lifetime waiting for you." he said to me. I was very touched.
" Thank you Liang, thank you." I said as I kissed his cheek.
End of Flashback
A few months later, Yuki and Riku had announced the day of their marriage. I couldn't handle watching the person I love get married to one of my bestfriends. So I booked my flight back to Shanghai. I told the bride and groom that something had happened back home. The only person I told the truth to though, was Liang.
He had bid farewell to me the day before the wedding, which was the day I was leaving. He told me the same words he told me that day at the park. I bid him farewell and continued my trip back to China. That's how I left the three of us's relationship, an endless love triangle.
We have kept in touch over the years and it was announced that Riku and Yuki had their first child. A baby girl. Liang and I had automatically been announced Godfather and Godmother, I have only seen that little princess on facetime, but never in real life. I hope I get to meet her one day. I had eventually learned that you don't have to be with someone to love them. You can continue loving them even if they aren't in your arms.
I finished my story as Shancai wiped the rest of her tears and looked at me. " Thank you, Yue, I didn't know that you had your sad love story too. " Shancai admitted.
" Hey, it's fine. I'm always here if you need me." I smiled. Shancai smiled at me and it was a soft, genuine smile.
" Hey, what's Riku and Yuki's child's name?" Shancai asked.
" Her name's Kasumi, which means mist." I told her, thinking about that little 공주님.
" So she has a Japanese name?" Shancai asked.
" Yes but she can speak both Korean and Japanese. I'm not sure if she can speak Mandarin though. I've only ever heard her speak Japanese or Korean on Face Time." I clarified.
I could see that the sun had shifted quite a bit. It must be around close to four a clock right now.
" Well I'll see you later." I stood up.
" See you later Yue." Shancai waved.
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I was walking back to our house that we rented, with my hands in my jacket pockets, when I saw Qinghe run up to our door.
" Daoming Si! You stole Shancai's first kiss, you jerk!" Qinghe yelled while knocking harshly at the door. " Come out. I'm going to kill you! Stop hiding in there like a coward! Didn't you give me the Joker Card? I'll take the challenge now! Come out now! You're a bully! Open the door! You're trash! You're garbage!"
I tapped Qinghe on the shoulder and he whipped around throwing a punch. I quickly caught his wrist and twisted his arm so that Qinghe faced the door.
" Daoming Yue? What are you doing here? And when did you learn to fight?" Qinghe fired question after question.
" This is my house. And did you forget that I am skilled in Taekwondo? My reflexes are fast, I am trained to react fast when someone attacks me." I told him. Right then my brother opened the door. Oh and I still had Qinghe twisted around, facing the door. When I saw Ah Si, I quickly let go of Qinghe.
When Qinghe saw Ah Si he took off his flip flop and tried to attack Ah Si with it. Ah Si caught his wrist and looked to me.
" Yue? What are you doing here with this guy?" Ah Si questioned.
" Um, did you forget that I also live here? Qinghe was already here when I got here." I said shrugging.
Ah Si looked back to Qinghe, took the flip flop from his hand and threw it away. I had to stifle my laugh. " You don't want to be picking a fight with either of us, Qinghe." I said to him as I leaned against the door. Ah Si flang Qinghe away so that he faced the exit.
My brother swept his hands together, " You're such a lame guy. The Joker Card is for Bridge." Ah Si told Qinghe.
" Cut the crap. Let's start the game. Or are you scared?" Qinghe asked.
" Tsk, tsk, tsk." I said shaking my head.
" Scared?" Ah Si scoffed. " Let's do it. If I win..."
" I'll admit that you're better than me." Qinghe suggested.
" That won't be enough. If I win, you can't stand next to Shancai anymore."Ah Si said.
" Okay. What if I win?" Qinghe asked.
" You can't stand next to me." Ah Si replied.
" Okay." Qinghe confirmed. Ah Si just laughed.
" You two go enjoy your competition." I patted their shoulders. " I'm gonna go inside and rest."
I walked into the house closing the two big doors.
" Bye-bye." I waved.
I walked up the stairs sitting in my room on my laptop scrolling through Weibo. My phone started ringing, so I looked at the caller ID. Oh, it's Lifang. I pressed the answer button and put the phone to my ear.
" Hello?" I said in a cheerful voice.
" How could you do this to me!?" Lifang's voice boomed from the other end. My expression soon turned into a worried one.
" Are you okay? What happened?" I asked concern clearly in my voice.
" No wonder you didn't' call, text or meet up with me for so long! You're probably enjoying your life with your new boyfriend!" Lifang yelled.
" What? What are you talking about? " I asked, confused. That's when I see it. The latest news next to Shancai and Ah Si's kiss. In capital letters it read: ARE DAOMING YUE AND FENG MEIZUO ARE DATING? along with a photo of me and Meizuo kissing on the night of the party. Now I remember, it was when Meizuo had pecked me on the lips during the countdown. Someone had happened to snap a photo right at that moment.
" Wait, Lifang I can explain-" I tried to say.
" I don't need your explanation, all the evidence is online." Lifang cut me off. " I can't believe you would do this to me! After all I've done for you! You know what you don't deserve it. I shouldn't have helped you, I should have let you do it."
" I-"
" No. I've had enough. Daoming Yue, we're over." Lifang said coldly. And with that he hung up. I can't believe it. I collapsed onto the carpet, tears coming down one after another. At one point I started hyperventilating. I could hear someone pounding at my door but I didn't care about anything else at the moment.
Oh no, it seems that my past has decided to come back and haunt me. Maybe he's right. Maybe he should've just let me jump into that river. I don't deserve this. No one loves me. The thoughts kept coming, never ending. Endless negative this kept popping into my head, one after another.
That's how I found myself now, sitting on my bed with the blade in my hand. Right when I was about to end my life then and there, a pair of arms wrap around me, holding me in a tight embrace and quickly taking the blade and tossing it to the side.
I didn't look at the person, I just turned into his chest and cried. I could feel him stroke my hair and whisper soft and gentle words into my ear. It reminded me of Liang, oh how I miss him and the others.
I look up to see Meizuo looking down at me, but I didn't say anything I just let all my emotions out. All my frustration, anger, sadness. I let all of it out.
After a while Meizuo broke the silence. " Yue, what in the world happened?" He asked, me still in his arms.
" Li-lifang." I stuttered, pointing to the laptop. Meizuo's eyes widened when he saw the article.
He didn't show it, but I knew he felt guilty. " It's okay, everything's okay. You deserve way better than that scumbag anyways." He told me.
" It's just t-that, Lifang was v-very important to m-me." I stuttered. " He helped me with my past, when I was feeling down, he was always there for me."
" What in the world has happened in the past that led to this?" Meizuo asked, confused. " You can tell me , you know you can tell me anything."
" I guess it's time for me to open up." I said. I took a deep breath and started.
"I used to get bullied a lot by the girls that used to go to my old high school. I never told Ah Si or you guys because I didn't want to cause any trouble for you guys. It got so bad that I was eventually having suicidal thoughts. (A/N : I am not promoting suicide or anything like that. Please DO NOT kill yourself or end your life early when you have so much more to live for. Everyone was put on this Earth for a reason. So don't wreck your chance of finding your light by preventing it from coming.) Until one day, when I was being bullied at the back of the school, Lifang stood up for me and helped me. He was the one who pieced me back together, and guided me back to the light again. And he left me." I finished. Meizuo didn't say anything, he just sat there wiping my tears away.
" Oh Yue, you were always that girl who was confident, humorous and fun to be around. But what I see right now is a broken girl, that has experienced too much hardship than she could handle. I'm sorry, I never knew you had gone through such things. I swear on my life, that from now on, I'll always be by your side. No matter what. I will protect you, comfort you and help you with your troubles and sorrows." Meizuo promised.
" Thank you so much. It really means a lot. It also feels good to let everything out." I told him.
" Come on, now let me see that gorgeous smile." Meizuo said. I smiled a small and thankful smile. I gave him another hug and just stayed like that for a while. When Meizuo got up to leave, grabbed on to his arm.
" Please stay for a bit." I begged.
" Alright. Anything for you, my Queen." Meizuo jokingly bowed. I managed a laugh.
I slapped his arm, "Why does everyone say that? I am no queen."
" So you're saying you don't act like one? Sure, sure." Meizuo laughed. I rolled my eyes.
We stayed in my room talking about random stuff, laugh at our memories, and enjoying each other's company.
Maybe I will give myself a chance. There is a lot more for me to live for.