if two people cannot stay away from each other
maybe it's because they weren't meant to.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Kaycee
one week later
___
"What if I screw up?" she asked Alexander nervously, pacing back and forth in the private area where the choreographers hung between classes. He'd brought her back there to keep Sean and the rest of the world from seeing her. No film, no outside paps, no viewers, just the class participants. Phones went in a locked box at the door, and he had all his teachers positioned somewhere, assuring the privacy of the safe space that he aimed to create for both Sean and Kaycee.
He smiled. "That's what you're worried about? Kaycee, honey, you were born to dance. You were born to fly." He gave her a hug. "And we're all here to help you find those wings again." He gestured to the circle of people he'd gathered, who were all standing, smiling. All of her old teachers. Her videographers. Her choreographers. The people that built her up, just to watch her walk away and pretend the chapter of her life that they were in didn't exist.
"Do you hate me for it?" she'd asked Janelle, earlier that morning when the older woman had called her and asked to meet before class. As she was the mom in the dance industry she'd never had, leaving Janelle without a trace had been the hardest part, but Kaycee knew that if she'd taken even one step back in the direction she was running from, she would've shattered into pieces and taken everything around her down with her.
"I did," the woman had admitted, looking straight ahead as they sat behind the studio, like they had when Kaycee was younger. "But I knew that you needed your space. No one could blame you, they all knew what you were going through, and I'm sure if it had been any of us we would've all reacted the same way. And I knew," she'd said, standing up and wiping her hands on her jeggings, "That if you were meant to come back, you would. I could never have changed your mind about anything, Kayc, and I trusted you made the right choice."
"You wouldn't have stopped me if I'd told you?" she had asked her instructor shakily. Janelle sighed and opened her arms to hug the quivering young girl.
"How could I stop you from going after what you want outside of the studio when in the studio, that's all I ever wanted for you?" Janelle had asked sadly. "Even if it hurt like the worst pain I ever felt, I would've understood."
"I'm sorry," Kaycee had sniffled, the emotional wave of knowing that the dance world had finally forgiven her for abruptly slamming the door on it years ago.
"I know," Janelle had said. "And I am too."
"For what?" Kaycee had asked, buried in her loving arms.
"For ever failing you."
"You never failed me," Kaycee had cried, sitting straight up. "Janelle, you built me."
The woman's eyes had been sad. "You left without a word, Kaycee. I made you think you had no voice, when I say I dedicate my life to helping kids find their voice."
_______
Sean
__
Warmup was weird, to him. All of his instructors were there. He knew it was a master class, but damn. All of them? And no film? And no phones. That was weird.
"Come on," Alex had teased him when Sean had pushed back about surrendering his cellular. "With that case, it's not like anyone would want to steal that anyway."
He sighed as he stretched his lower back. He wondered if Kaycee was still sore from last night. He knew he was.
She surprised him like that. He hadn't pegged her as intimate, and to hell if he had when he found out about her past with Gabe. And he got nervous, everytime, because he didn't want to hurt her. But she was always pushing him over the edge, whether it was a nudge or a silent shared look, telling him it was ok.
"Are you sure?" he'd asked her, raised above her, staring down at her on the bed. She slowly had pulled him down on her until it was skin on skin, both of their hearts racing against one another, breaths shallow, trying to pace with each other. "You're my safe place," she murmured against his sweat-slicked skin. "There's nowhere I'd rather be."
He smiled to himself at the memory. "What are you smiling about?" Will poked him. "Daydreaming in class isn't a way to start back."
"He has the FFG," JoJo noted. Sean went red.
"The FFG?" Will asked, ignoring the obvious intentionally. "What ever could that mean?"
"Freshly fucked glow," Zoi sang. "Good thing it's not my class, or else he'd be in hella pain."
"So," Tessandra deadpanned. "Who's the lucky lady?"
"Please tell me it's Kaycee," Tim grinned. "I have, like, thirty bucks riding on this."
"Attention everyone," Janelle called out, stepping up to the podium. "We have a special guest joining us today."
"I knew nothing about this," Tessandra said, but her face told otherwise.
"Back from her temporary hiatus from dance, introducing, Misssss Kayceeee Riiiiiice dancing to God Is A Woman!"
His heart stopped.
______
He thought he died. A couple of times, Alexander had to shake him to make sure his jaw wasn't actually hitting the floor.
The way she moved, the fluidity, the way she was able to look both sensual and pure....it looked like Kaycee Rice hadn't missed a day in the industry.
And damn, was he glad she was back.
______
Kaycee
___
The whole class, she could feel his gaze on her, but after the rush of her solo, she retreated the the back of the room, and focused 100% of herself on Tessandra, the other choreographers, and the moves.
After class, she thanked her choreographers and slipped out, trying to go unnoticed.
He noticed her, though. He always did. He caught her hand in the hallway and spun her to face him. "Were you gonna leave without saying bye?"
She blushed, attempting to play hard to get. "You did this morning."
"I had to, petal," he sighed. "My mom would freak. And you knooow," he dragged the word out, wrapping her in his arms and gently rocking with her back and forth, "I wouldn't have if I had the choice."
"Sure." she rolled her eyes. "Whatever you say."
"I say," he kissed her forehead. "That you were amazing."
"Nah," she ducked out of his hold, brushing the loose strands back from her head shyly. "I was ok."
"If that's ok, I'm terrified of you getting good," he grinned, coming over her and gently pressing her against the wall, her waist in his hands. "Or should I say bad?" he wiggled his eyebrows playfully.
She ran her fingers up his chest and traced his jawline. "You liked it?" she asked bashfully.
"Loved it."
"I can show you some more," she said thoughtfully. "If you stay the night through this time."
***********************
AN: hi everyone so this is a happy chapter! we stan happiness. we love happiness.
but since i didn't really have anything prepared, here's an important story. if you've been following my personal parts of my ANs, you'll understand, but if not, basically, my ex was toxic and manipulative and i fell for it.
so this weekend, my ex, the crazy toxic one, told me i looked beautiful, and that like models would be jealous, and all, bc it was prom.
the next day, he told me i was a dishonest, lying, bitch who he wanted nothing to do with.
a year ago, this boy lead me into depression by doing the same thing, and i stayed with him for four continuous months after. he's been harassing me ever since, but i won't lie to you and say i didn't play into it, because i thought i loved him. maybe i did. we don't know anymore, and that really sucks, to have someone f you over like that, but that's ok.
because i know i'm doing better.
because a year later, he is the one who jumped right into a relationship, not knowing how to be on his own and constantly needing validation from the girl who knew he had a gf, but got with him anyways and stayed...(and all i can say to that is, what a disgrace to the girl community you are...and how sad you put yourself on that level...and you are the company you keep so :))
and he's still hitting me up so.
but then he tried to pull these same stunts, calling me dishonest and a bitch and saying we were done, then unfollowing my instagram and whatever.
i'm sorry...but as i do recall, you ended the we almost a year ago.
so i blocked him.
i thought i'd be sad, but i've never felt better. i feel like i'm ready to live again. like this no longer controls me. i'm not a victim anymore, and i won't let myself minimize my living because someone hurt me. i'm using it to grow. i've passed my last benchmark. i am not healed, but i am healing, and i didn't stop when things were tough.
i was strong enough to shut the door completely. he was not.
so ladies, (or guys!), if that person is making your life a living hell, find your strength in you and walk away. we learn much more about ourselves when we take the time to know ourselves and work on us. you can do so much better.
like sean and kaycee: do not let someone take your joy, your light. surround yourself with the people that turn them on :)
xoxo,
kally jean :)
~feedback always appreciated~
ps: i had an amazing time at prom :) and also if you want my personal insta, message me! i do try and keep my writing on the low w/ people i know so no one from my school reads bahahahaha not bc i'm ashamed, but bc people are very small minded and like to crush others joy, and these are some crazy feelings i'm not very comfortable with having go around a small, 200 person school.