WARNING, self harm is included in this chapter, if you are scweemish I suggest you skip this chapter, if not read at your own risk
REMEMEBER I WARNED YOU
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*exactly one month later*
"you have to wear this one" emma insists throwing my a simple pink dress with a crisscross back
I simply shake my head which makes Jade groan and get off my bed, pushing Emma out of the way and rummaging through my closest
"she need to look sexy em, not simple" she says making Emma pout and walk over to my desk, sulking in the wheely chair "okay you have to wear this and I swear to god if you dare even move your head side ways in the slightest motion I will jump off a bridge" Jade throws some clothes at my face and sits next to me
"this looks pretty good" I sigh and they both squeal
"finally!" they say in unison
Getting up and walking towards my bathroom, I change into the clothes Jade through at me, thinking about random things running through my head
I examine the clothes in my bathroom full-body mirror. A white boob tube shirt clings to my chest and upper waist area, skinny high waisted blue jeans hugs all my curves perfectly and checked vans
I smile to myself flinging my hair up into a messy but neat bun before applying some light makeup and natural pink lipstick. As I walk out the girls are already dressed and ready to go
"ready?" emma asks flipping her pin straight blonde hair over her shoulder. I nod and we make our way downstairs and past my dad
"and where do you think you ladies think your going?" he asks and all three of us turn around slowly
"to a party?" I say in more a question than a statement
"okay have fun, come home whenever you want" he says and i smile, thanking him before walking out to Jades red jeep
We drive for a minimum of 10 minutes before stopping about a street away from Noah's house dew to how many cars had taken every single parking space on his street
The girls and I walk towards his house already hearing the music pumping through this house. As I open the door, the smell of alcohol is present as it goes up my nose. I scrunch my face up in disgust before moving through the sweaty bodies
"I'm going to go get a drink want one" emma asks me and I shake my head, telling jade to go with her so I could find noah
The whole house was full of people swaying their sweaty bodies, dancing to beat of the music and over all having the best time of their life
I spot a certain shaggy dark brown haired boy with a smile that could light up the whole world wearing a navy button up shirt leaned against a wall. His hair was tussled just the way I liked it and his green eyes could be spotted from a mile away
But thats not all I spotted
A beautiful blonde with eyes that could easily be mistaken for the ocean in his arms, a smile on her face that looks as if it never wanted to leave, swaying against Noah's body. They looked to be having a great time and I didn't think I wanted to interact with this lovely little 'innocent' dance they were having. His eyes darkened into her and the next thing you know, their lips are on eachtohers
Noah pulls away from the kiss, lust so viable in his eyes. He looks up only to have his eyes lock with my teary ones. I blinked furiously to make the water go away but in doing that, the hot tears sled down my cheeks
Penny followed his eyes and immediately wided, pulling herself away from him and towards me. I step back slowly, not wanting to see any of this anymore
The next thing you know, my legs are running as fast as they possibly can out of his house. I ran and ran until I didnt think my legs could take it anymore. Sitting on the curb, I wipe my tears away furiously not wanting myself to feel weak
I hear footsteps behind me but decide to ignore then. The body sits beside me, placing a hand on my knee
"nicole.." a voice I know all to well whispers and I turn to hug them. Alex wraps his arms around me and rubs my back, whispering soothing things into my ear
"what's wrong nic" he whispers, pulling back as I shake my head
"my best friend from New York just kissed noah" I mutter and he nods understandably
stupid penny, stupid noah, stupid trust stupid love, stupid life
"do you want me to walk you home?" he asks and i shake my head
"i think I'll just call Jade to drive me" I say and he nods once again
"I'll see you tomorrow yeah?" he asks and I give him a quick reply assuring him he will before he walks back to the party and pulling out my phone
I dial jades number and she immediately answers, the sound of music blasting in the backround
"what's up girl?" she yells
"can you drive me home I'm not feeling to well" I ask
"of course hunny, where are you?" she asks and I shrug even though she can't see me
"Ill meet you at the car" I say before hanging up and walking towards the car
Jade drops me off saying she going back to the party but if I need anything call and all I can do is nod before I see her driving off. Just as I'm about to open the door, a message pops up on my phone
Dad, 10:17pm. I have work tonight pumpkin so if you get home early, lock the doors mom isn't home either love you
"yes" I silently whisper to myself
I unlock the door and close it behind me, the tears already starting to form and drip from my eyes, down my cheeks
Running up the stairs and into my room, I get changed into some grey sweats flipping my shoes off my feet and landing on my bed, crawling up into a ball
My whole body is shaking as I clench my eyes shut trying to get the horrible memory out of my head. She kissed her, and he didn't mind
I look over at my bedside table where a small frame sat. The picture inside the frame was a picture that I had adored since jade took it
The Saturday after we got back from camp, we all went ice skating at the local ice rink. Noah was hugging me from behind, his arms tightly around my waist, mittens covering his hands. His hair was tusseled everywhere, his cheeks slightly pink from the coldness and the glisten in his eyes could be spotted from afar
A huge grin was on my face that night as I laughed at the things he was saying. I was looking at the camera, however Noah wasn't. He was looking down at me happiness filled in his eyes
Or so I thought
Anger washes through me like a title wave and I pick up the picture hastily, throwing it at the wall across my room. Tears spill from my eyes even more all the glass shattering fills my ears
I can't take this anymore
Getting up abruptly from my bed, I walk over to my desk, unlocking one of the secret drawers in my desk and pulling out a small wooden box my dad gave me years ago. I open it, seeing the sharp blade in my sight
Grabbing it, I run into my bathroom, locking it behind me before turning the shower on and sitting under it. I look down at my now clear wrists and scream as loud as I can before putting the blade against it
"one for being an idiot, two for love, three for friendship, four for jealously" I growl to myself, sliding the blade deeply across my skin letting blood flow from my arm
I settle it under the water, taking in the stinging sensation but slowly getting used to it. My eyes become droopy as everything starts to slowly but surely blur my vision
My name is called from what seems like a distance as banging is heard on the door making a headache form
Doing nothing to stop it from happening, my whole body relaxes under the water and everything goes black
But not before hearing the door being busted down and a desperate voice yelling my name, shaking my body
So sorry again for the short chapter, I just have not been even bothered to update a full chapter lately. School has been on my mind and I have soooooo many assignments to complete so bear with me here