Thomas's eyes, wild and desperate, met mine for a brief moment. And despite it being just a brief moment, the image would haunt me for a very long time. In that brief moment, time came to a standstill as the realization of what had just happened slowly crept to my mind. Even in that brief moment, his gaze was able to say so much, to hold so much emotion. I only hoped that I could return the feeling, the unspoken words that said so much yet not enough.
He let out a whimper, a low sound that didn't sound like it belonged to him.
I watched as he fell to his knees, doubled over. His fingers went to his stomach and came back coated in the crimson red blood that seeped from his body, like water out of a crack in a dam.
"You killed my dragon," drawled the king as he wiped Thomas's blood off of the sword he carried in his hand. "I'm so sorry for this. Truly, I am." He sounded anything but sorry.
Thomas fell backwards, sitting on the ground against the wall of the hedges as the king disappeared without another word.
Someone screamed. I would say that it was me except for the fact that I was caught utterly speechless as I watched Thomas's life bleed out onto the gravel. I was rooted to the spot, unable to move. Unable to think rationally.
No. No, goddammit, no.
Thomas met my eyes once more, and the tone of his voice didn't match the look in his eyes. "Don't worry Alexander," he forced out, trying for a smile. "I'm gonna be just fine, okay?"
Empty promise he couldn't keep.
Then the five of us sprang to life suddenly like puppets on strings. Angelica rushed past me but stopped in her tracks as she seemed to run into something.
"Oh Divinity's children! No!" she cursed. It was miraculous to me how she could stay this collected. Okay, relatively collected. Collected compared to me, who couldn't even do anything. "Thomas! There's a forcefield in the way!"
"I don't know what you want me to do about that right now Angelica." He held the facade of calm, though it hardly hid the hysterics rooted not too far below. "I'm kinda dying."
"You are not dying!" she hissed back. "Just hold on for a minute or two!"
"Well I'll try," snapped Thomas.
"Can someone help me here?" Angelica hissed out, glancing over her shoulder.
Elizabeth and James were at her side in a matter of moments, pressing themselves against the invisible boundary holding them from Thomas.
My breathing was staggered. The world around me was swaying and I felt like I would throw up any moment. I was choking back tears as I joined them. But I joined them, and I fought against what was keeping me from him as hard as I could nonetheless.
I had to get to Thomas. I had to get to Thomas now.
"That's not going to work," sang a voice from behind us. I didn't even have to look back to know who it was that was taunting us. "You may as well give up. He's as good as dead!"
I gritted my teeth at how cheerful he sounded as he said it, like he had not just stabbed Thomas. Like it wasn't his fault that the person I cared so much about was slowly losing life.
And when the realization was slowly dragged up to the surface, my head began to spin even more.
This is all my fault.
I wanted to cry. I wanted to pause time and never let it resume, just so we could be stuck in this moment where he was still breathing, no matter how irregular it was. I wanted the world to end. To implode on itself. So then there would be nothing.
This is all my fault.
The thought was persistent, like a broken record that kept playing long after you've had enough. It tore away at me, clawing gouges into my mind.
I tried to focus solely on fighting against the forcefield by pulsing my energy through it, but the thought was fighting for my attention, fighting for me to make a mistake so it could eat away.
This is all my fault.
After what was just too long, Thomas's voice finally broke over us. "Just forget about it," he murmured. He had given up, and it wasn't hard to figure that out, which was so terrifying.
I stopped to stare at him, mostly to catch my breath, but also because the submission surprised me.
It appeared that his breathing was hurting him. He attempted a smile and failed miserably due to the panicked look in his eyes. "Guys, seriously. Go find the others. I'll be fine."
"Don't be an idiot," James returned. "Or at least don't be more of an idiot."
"How endearing," Thomas returned, and the remark would have been normal from him and nothing to worry about if it hadn't been forced out around a groan of pain. "I'll take care of myself. Go and find the others before you guys get—" He let out a whine, cutting off and contradicting his words nicely. "Oh that hurts a lot. Like more than the normal amount."
"Thomas, shut up," snapped Angelica. It wasn't hard to see how the frustration gripped and molded her under its will.
"Don't worry about me. Alexander, tell her." His eyes met mine. I couldn't stomach the absolute trust in his eyes, the faith that I would make the right decision.
"Thomas," I whispered, stopping to catch my breath. It wasn't like I was much help anyway in trying to break the invisible barrier keeping me from him. "We're not leaving you here." I was afraid I wasn't loud enough, or that my words were too tentative or meek.
But he turned away from me.
I was surprised at how well he was keeping himself together. He wasn't crying or sobbing or screaming. He was just sitting there, his breathing hard and body shaking, but he was sitting there calmly.
"Is this working for all of you?" the king asked.
Elizabeth stopped with her persistent attack on the barrier and rounded on him. It was like something vicious had taken control of her with the way she glared daggers at him. Smoke began to drift through the air from her fingers as she held up her hands. I saw her slide something from her sleeve, and the knife she held caught a glint of the sun. Then the handle turned red.
It might have been the first time I saw anything but absolute surety in his expression. But a beat later and he was gone once more.
"What are you going to do?" his voice came from my left.
"You want to find out?"
"Not particularly."
A flaming knife whizzed past me just far away as to where it didn't singe my skin or hair, though it left a path of heat in its wake as well as the distinctive scent of smoke. But just before it hit the king, he was gone and displaced once more.
Then it became a game of cat and mouse, but more burning fiery knife and evil tyrant king.
"Eliza!" Angelica snapped. "It's not working!"
"It could! Just give me like... a minute or two!"
"You should really listen to your sister before something happens to you too!" chirped King George, smile one of a young boy playing a prank on his friends. That stupid damn smile made my blood boil.
"Kill him!" cheered Thomas, but his words were sharply cut off as he was attacked by a convulsion. He paused for a moment so he could catch his breath. "Hey, can I keep the sword at least?"
"Thomas, shut up!" James hissed.
Why couldn't he just listen to James's advice?
"Okay." Thomas's gaze returned to mine, and although he was smiling, his eyes didn't share the same emotion. "Hey Alexander? I'm really sorry. I shouldn't have brought you here. This is my fault and I'm so sorry."
His apology had caught me so off guard. So, so off guard. And while my defenses were down, the meaning of his words dug into my skin with their tiny sharp blades. And I reacted based on instinct.
The single syllable tore through the air. At first, I didn't know where it had come from, but as the silence that followed it settled in, I identified my own voice as the word repeated in my head.
No.
Angelica fell forwards.
She caught herself quickly and uprighted herself, but the pause she left after was minimal as she raced over to Thomas.
I felt the energy that exploded through the air with the scream, and I'm sure I wasn't the only one. It was a powerful sensation that brought the hedge walls of the maze to the ground. But more importantly, it felled the barrier that separated us from Thomas.
"How?" The king breathed out, and the confusion in his voice was shock enough. But he disappeared moments after the spell's tremors ceased, and this time he was gone.
I had stopped momentarily due to the weight of the magic, but the minute I caught my breath, I chased it away again running to Thomas's side.
"Angelica, I think I'm dying," Thomas muttered, though the observation sounded more to himself than to her. I doubted that he had any control over what he was saying. The unfocused glaze coating his eyes frightened me.
"You are not dying."
"No, I'm pretty sure I'm dying."
"Thomas," I breathed, unable to force anything else out. He glanced up at me and reached for my hand. His palm was warm and sticky with blood, but I pushed the thought aside and focused on the strength of his grip. I wonder what was going on his mind?
"Divinity," cursed Washington as he appeared beside us moments later. "What happened?"
"Thomas got stabbed," James murmured. I could hear his swallow as the words finally sunk in. "Thomas got stabbed. Fucking Divinity Thomas just got stabbed."
"I'm okay though I think."
"Thomas, I'm going to cast Somnusa, okay?"
"Okay."
"You're not going to feel anything, okay?"
"Okay."
"What are you going to do to him?" I demanded, but her eyes were already closed in concentration.
Thomas's grip on my hand relaxed.
I covered my mouth to stifle my scream.
"It's gonna be alright," Peggy murmured to me gently. I felt her hand against my shoulder. "Thomas is gonna be just fine. Angie put him under a spell so he can heal himself. It's going to be okay."
I heard the faint sound of talking behind me, though I couldn't pick out words. I pulled my hand away from Thomas's and stared at the sticky red substance covering my skin.
Blood.
His blood.
I stared at Thomas, but I saw Peggy place her hand on his stomach out of the corner of my eye.
Did I imagine the otherworldly light that flooded from her palm and into him?
When I risked a look at Peggy, her expression was fixed in determination, but I saw something different pass through her gaze. And it made me think differently about her, for even just a moment.
I heard Washington's decision amongst the chatter. "We need to go back to the castle." His tone didn't suggest any room for debate. "Hercules, do you think you could transform us to light?"
"I could take Thomas and Angie," the Rishftin returned.
"Good enough."
I wanted to argue that I would not be leaving Thomas, but Hercules grabbed Angelica's hand and the three of them were gone in seconds.
"Come on, Alexander," Washington said. Peggy cast me a quick smile before joining where Elizabeth and Philip were sitting.
I was surprised by how soft the general's voice was; it seemed uncharacteristic coming from him.
"Are you alright?"
"I don't know," I responded after a moment.
And I was telling the truth. I had no clue how I felt. Terrified, mostly. But also confused and angry and worried and as selfish as it was, I felt almost relieved.
Relieved that I wouldn't have to tell Thomas how I felt just yet.
"Are you going to be alright long enough to get back to the castle?"
"I guess."
"Joh—Philip, sorry—says that you killed a siren."
"Yeah."
I wasn't trying to be rude with my short responses, but I couldn't think, I couldn't engage in conversation, and I couldn't bring myself to move.
"Can we go now?"
I had to see him. I had to see Thomas now. What if something horrible happened and I wasn't there? I had to be with him.
"We're almost ready."
I nodded and retired to an empty patch of grass where I closed myself off from everyone else and sobbed into my hands.