I woke up in a cold sweat to the sound of my alarm, heavy-eyed and with a mouth drier than a desert. I blinked the sleep out of my eyes, shifting my gaze around my cluttered room as I reached over and flipped the switch on my alarm clock to silence its shrill repetition. I then rolled out of bed and eased my frozen feet into the worn pair of slippers on the floor beside it, vaguely registering the fact that I had hardly slept. I exited my room and started toward the kitchen as my exhausted mind slowly dragged itself back to reality.
My routine was exactly the same every morning, and today was no different. I poured myself a mug of coffee, which my mother had fortunately already brewed before she left for work, and drank it with milk and sugar as to avoid falling asleep in class later. With it, I took my daily medication as to avoid breaking down in class later. I crammed a granola bar down my throat, then trudged back to my room and quickly changed into the outfit I'd chosen the night before: worn-out jeans and an old, faded Harley Davidson T-shirt, along with a ratty flannel to top it off. I'd never been one to dress to impress; with my average appearance, I knew it would be a wasted effort. Once I was dressed, I headed to my bathroom to brush my teeth. I then combed through my hair, which was surprisingly still damp from my shower the night before, and slathered on some mascara before gathering my belongings and heading for the front door. There, I pulled on my boots, threw on my beat-up leather jacket, and headed out with my backpack slung over my shoulders.
The frigid morning air sent shivers down my spine and chills throughout my entire body. My bag weighed heavily on my back, making it ache as I trekked toward my bus stop, knowing that today would be nothing but another day. Another beginning. Another uphill battle. Another meaningless day in a meaningless world in a meaningless universe in a meaningless existence, and so on and so forth. All I had to do now was convince myself that any of it still mattered.
"God, this is the worst," I groaned as I slumped forward in my seat, pressing the palm of my hand against my temple as if it would do anything to cease the throbbing pain in my skull.
From beside me, Gabby nudged my shoulder, taking a long swig of her Arizona tea as she did so. "Bad night?" she asked with a glance over at me.
"I just..." I sighed, feeling my heart sink in my chest. What was there to say? There truly was no way to describe my reasons for restlessness. None that Gabby would understand, anyway. Pain pulsed through my head again, and I winced, giving a listless shrug. "...I've just been thinking too much, if you know what I mean. I couldn't sleep, and I'm paying for it today with this headache."
Gabby nodded. "Yeah, I get it. It's hard to sleep when your mind is going a million miles a minute. Do you want an aspirin or something? I have some in my bag."
"No, it's fine. I'm sure it'll pass. Thanks, though."
"Suit yourself," Gabby said with a shrug.
"Gabs! Ase!" A familiar, cheery voice rang out from behind us. I cringed at the sound; on a typical day, I would've been happy to hear it, but loud noises were the last thing I needed at this moment in particular. Gabby seemed to share my annoyance. She put down her can of tea, rolling her eyes. "What is it, Caleb?" she asked without turning around.
Caleb set one gloved hand on my shoulder, allowing the other to come to rest on Gabby's. "Believe me, Gabs, you won't want to miss this," he said. I could tell he was smiling simply by the tone of his voice. "There are some people I want you to meet." Gabby perked up a bit. I lifted my head, placing the spork I'd been fiddling with on my untouched tray of pasta. We both turned around in our seats. Two people stood on either side of Caleb: a boy and a girl who appeared to be around the same age. I automatically assumed that they were related; they were both tall and lanky and had thick, dark hair, along with pale skin that appeared almost translucent. Caleb clapped his hand onto the boy's shoulder. "This is Ethan and Jade Griffiths," he said with a warm grin. "Twins, if you couldn't tell. They just moved here from New York. Er, state, not city. We really hit it off in art class."
"It's nice to meet you," Gabby said, extending her hand toward Ethan. He immediately reciprocated, giving her hand a firm shake before pulling away with a sincere smile spread across his face. Gabby repeated the phrase to Jade and held out her hand. However, Jade was more hesitant, her shoulders trembling slightly as she slowly reached forward to accept the handshake. "I'm Gabriela Rodriguez, but I prefer Gabby," Gabby said, then motioned toward me. "This is Ase Hansen."
"Come on, have a seat!" Caleb said, grinning eagerly. He motioned to the other side of the table. "We still have about half of lunch left. Let's all get to know each other, huh?" Before I knew it, we were all sitting around the table together, making easy small talk. Or, rather, Gabby, Caleb, and Ethan were making small talk while Jade and I remained perfectly silent.
One of the first things we found out was that Ethan was an artist. In his backpack was a sketchbook full of stunning artwork, with everything from still lifes to portraits to sketches of surreal, curiously disturbing things that he had transferred straight from the depths of his mind to the paper. We spent several minutes passing it around the table, each of us taking our time admiring his work. It was me who finally handed it back to him. "You've got a real talent," I said, speaking for the first time since he and Jade had arrived at the table. He raised his eyebrows. "You do talk!" he laughed, taking his sketchbook from my hands. "Thank you, Ase. I appreciate it."
"Well, now I know why you two took the art elective," Caleb said with a playful nudge to Ethan's shoulder. "You're artists." Ethan went quiet for a moment, then gave a nonchalant shrug. "Well, I'm an artist. Jade only chose the class because there were no music electives that fit her schedule." Jade perked up at Ethan's words, the ghost of a smile gracing her angular features, but she remained silent.
"Music?" The word left my lips before I could stop it from doing so. Jade turned to me, cocking her head slightly. Shoot, I thought. I hadn't planned on speaking; I'd never been good at introductions, and quite frankly, I'd never been a huge fan of meeting new people. There was no going back now, though. I swallowed nervously. "I...I'm a musician, too," I stammered out. "I sing and play bass and keyboard. I played oboe in the band, too, but I kinda dropped it not too long ago."
Jade took a moment to process my words. Finally, she cracked another smile and chose this moment to speak for the first time. "Electric guitar," she said. "Drums, too, even though I suck at it. I sing occasionally as well."
"Shut up, Jade. You don't suck at drums."
"Don't listen to Ethan, you all. He has no taste."
Caleb piped up. "I'm sure you don't suck, Jade," he said with an encouraging smile. Jade shrugged, smiling as she shook her head. "I appreciate your words, but they don't change the fact that Ethan here has no taste."
"Don't make me hurt you!" Ethan growled, smiling devilishly at Jade. She responded by swatting him playfully on the arm, eliciting fits of laughter from around the table. I couldn't suppress the smile that tugged at the corners of my mouth. I liked Jade. I liked Ethan too, of course, but there was something about Jade that seemed almost familiar to me. I must have been staring for too long, because she threw me a sideways look a moment later. "Is something wrong?"
"Hm? Oh, nothing. Sorry. I was just zoning out," I responded quickly, kicking myself internally for seeming like a creep. "It's been cool meeting you. You might be the first person I've met here who's into music outside of the school band."
"Huh." Jade had a thoughtful look in her eyes. "That's cool. I'd like to hear your stuff sometime. I'm sure you're good."
I nodded. "Same to you," I said as the bell rang.
Everyone around the table began to gather their belongings, preparing for their next classes. I slid my backpack over my shoulders and reached down to pick up my tray, but Jade stopped me by placing her hand on my wrist. "Give me your number," she said. "I'll send you some of my crappy recordings later tonight, and you can send me some of yours, if you have any. Sound like a deal?"
I blinked in surprise. "Oh. Uh, okay," I stuttered, tentatively reaching into my back pocket to fish out my phone. I swiftly unlocked it and opened my contact list, then pulled up my contact information and handed the phone to Jade. "It's all yours."
Jade reached into her own back pocket and got out her phone, taking a moment to create a new contact and enter my number. Once she was done, she looked up at me with a subtle smile. "Thank you," she said. "I can't wait to hear your work."
"Same to you," I replied, unable to shake the dazed feeling in my head as I absently watched her pack up her belongings.
"It was good meeting you two," Gabby said, shaking Ethan's hand once more and making her way toward Jade to do the same with her. "I'll see you around, I'm sure?"
"Of course," Ethan said, nodding and smiling. "You all seem like good people."
"Alright, then." Caleb patted Ethan on the shoulder and flashed a grin in Jade's direction. "We should all get to class."
As I walked down the hallway toward my geometry class moments later, the dazed feeling finally left my head, leaving a heap of sheer confusion in its place. What had made Jade so interested in my music right away? Why would she want to talk to someone like me? Was I just being paranoid?
I couldn't help but shake my head in exasperation at my own thought; of course I was being paranoid. I was always paranoid. This had been my first time meeting new people in what seemed like forever. Surely there was nothing to be anxious about, right?
Right?
I hoped so.