Maggie leant over the table, coming closer to me. She dropped her voice and looked me dead in the eyes. "So I was sitting there...barbecue sauce on my titties..."
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I'm just fucking with y'all the video on Twitter SENT me 😂😂😂😂💀 On to the story now.
***
/ˈbʊkkiːpə/
(noun)
- A person whose job is to keep records.
***
I'm sure we're all familiar with the story of the Sun and the Moon. The old myth, states that before becoming the celestial objects that we see today, the Moon and the Sun were terrestrial creatures. The Sun was a beautiful young lady, while the Moon was a brave hunter.
They met and they fell in love.
But it wasn't as simple as that. Not all love stories are as they make it seem in the movies, sometimes tragedy strikes and there's absolutely nothing you can do to stop that.
Some days you're gonna wish that you could stop loving them, because maybe it would be able to save you from heartache.
Some days you're going to wish that you could be able to forget about them, but it's not always as easy as that. How can you forget about someone who you once loved and held so dear to your heart?
It's never as easy as that.
***
"Hey, Lauren," Elena greeted me as she took a seat. "I'm so sorry I'm late. I got held up with my dad for a bit."
I smiled politely at her. Since I turned Elena down the last time she had asked to grab something to eat, I couldn't help but feel extremely horrible for doing that, like the guilt was literally tearing me apart on the inside.
So go quell my guilt, I had invited her out for some coffee.
"That's okay. I wasn't waiting here that long or anything." I told her so she wouldn't feel bad about being late. "If you don't mind, I placed your order before you came." I slid her a cup and a plate with some pastries. If my memory served me correctly, these were her favourites.
She took a sip of her drink and sighed in content. "I'd ask you how'd you know how I liked my coffee but I think we already know the answer to that."
"You ordered the same thing, literally every time that we went out together. It's kinda hard to forget."
I didn't know exactly why Elena had a sudden change of heart and wanted to spend time with me, but needless to say, I wasn't against it.
She was always good company.
"So," Elena rested her elbows on the table and looked at me. "How have you been? Like really been?"
I shrugged. I didn't want to bore her with my feelings, but besides that, I had been good. My life had finally been looking up and I was happy with who I was and my life at the moment.
"I really can't complain, if I'm being honest. Things have been fine," I smiled and she returned the gesture. I don't know, but for some strange reason, my heart reacted in a way it used to when she had smiled at me when we were dating. But I decided to shake it off. "What about you? Is everything okay at home? I remember you said you were dealing with some stuff."
Elena didn't say anything for a few moments. Until she sighed and shrugged. "Things are okay with me, and home is well...home."
"Hey," I said softly, causing her to look up at me. "If you ever want to talk, you know you can talk to me, right?"
She nodded and looked away from me. "Have you ever felt like you made a mistake?" I wasn't quite sure as to what she was getting at. I mean, sure we've all made mistakes and regretted it, to the point of wishing that we could turn back the hands of time.
But what did she mean?
"I'm not quite sure I understand."
Elena pushed her drink away from her, furrowing her eyebrows in frustration. "Well the fucked up truth is that not everything happens for a reason. Sometimes people make the wrong fucking decision and they're forced to live with them for the rest of their lives. And I know I should live with mine, because what other choice do I have?" She stood, and casted her gaze on me, and I could see the pain in them. I wanted to say something, anything to stop her from looking like that, but it wasn't my place anymore.
"What...what are you talking about?" I asked her because I was honestly at a crossroads as to what she meant. A part of me thought she was talking about me, but the rational part, didn't think after all this time she had feelings for me. Nor did I think that she regretted breaking up with me.
It had been so long.
She shook her head, a weak smile on her face. "You've always been so damn dense, Laur." She laughed softly. "I have to...I have to go. Maybe I'll see you around."
And without another word, or another glance in my direction, Elena left me sitting at the table, stunned as to what she had just said.
***
"Where are you going?" Lexa asked me as I shut the door of my room. "We don't have to work today."
I nodded. Of course I knew that, but I just had so many questions about this damned journal. Ever since I got it, things had been so different, and I needed answers.
Firstly, Elena had never said more than a few sentences to me, now she was having full-blown conversations with me, and she wanted to hang out with me. Then, Renee tells me she still has feelings for me?
And how can I forget Camila?
Someone so ethereal and so out of this world, how could she even spare a second glance at me? And then she actually wants to go out on a date with me?
What the fuck was happening?
I may not believe in a lot of things unless there was logic to prove it, but I strongly believed that this journal had something to do with it.
I readjusted my bag strap as I turned to face my best friend. Lexa didn't have any idea as to what was going on and I wasn't sure if I should tell her.
Would she even believe me?
"Where are you going?" I tried to deflect the question rather than answering it.
Lexa laughed. "I was coming to see you, and you're off to God alone knows where. And where is that exactly?"
I sighed heavily, and ran a hand through my hair. "I'm heading back to this antique store. I bought something there a while ago, and I have some questions about it."
"Ooh," my best friend clapped her hands, excitedly. "You had me at antique store. I'm tagging along. I might find something cool there."
It was a short walk to the antique shop, mainly because my mind had been racing with so many questions for this woman. I was really hoping to figure out what was going on, but deep down I knew the answers were pretty obvious.
When I pushed open the door to the antique shop, I instantly felt a chill run through my body. Lexa didn't seem to sense anything, but she casually draped an arm over my shoulder. "Okay, I think I'm in heaven." She said in awe, as she stared wide eyed at the things in the room.
"Not gonna lie, this place gives me the creeps," I looked around and it had seemed a lot creepier than the last time I was here.
My best friend laughed and untangled herself from me, but she didn't stray too far away from me. "Let's see if we can find the owner." We went to the desk but no one was there. I ringed the bell, but no one came. It was only when I spun around, I saw a girl, she looked like she was my age leaning against a shelf, staring at us.
She was beautiful, but these past few days, I've grown accustomed to meeting with beautiful people.
"Um...hi?" I said in the form of a question. A tad bit freaked out by her staring. Her expression wasn't scary, but it still scared me. She kinked an eyebrow in response to me. "The old woman...is she still here? I bought this book from her," I pulled it out of my bag and showed her it. Recognition flashed in the girl's eyes, but she still didn't say anything. "I have so many questions and I need to speak with her."
"Apla prepei na pistepseis," she said in a very thick Greek accent. She moved away from the shelf and approached me. "You lack the faith."
Lexa looked between the strange girl and I, obviously confused as to what was happening.
"What do you mean 'You just need to believe?" I asked her. That's what she had said in Greek. The elderly shop keeper had told me something around the same lines.
"I mean," she took the book from my hands and twirled it in hers. "The answers are right there staring you in the face, you just refuse to believe it."
"Wait, wait," Lexa raised a hand to stop the girl from talking. "Firstly, who on earth are you?"
The girl smirked. "I'm sorry, where are my manners? My name is Octavia Avgeropoulos, and I'm o filakas ton biblion."
The book keeper?
What the fuck?
"Where's the old woman who was here? I got this from her a couple weeks ago," I pointed at the journal.
Octavia nodded. "She's my grandmother and unfortunately she passed away about two weeks ago. So whatever questions you have, I'd probably be able to answer them but to an extent." She shrugged. I was getting the vibe that she was enjoying my confusion and she wasn't going to make it easy for me to get any answers.
"Questions? Answers? The book keeper?" Lexa turned to question me. "Lauren, what the fuck is going on?"
"I'd explain but I'm clueless, Lex," I told her truthfully. Even though I had some belief that the journal was behind everything, I was still confused and didn't want to believe it. "Well, I mean, I don't really know where to begin."
Octavia pulled up a chair and took a seat. She still had my journal in her hands; twirling it. She kicked her feet up and looked between my friend and I. "Start from the beginning." She instructed me.
If I could have rolled my eyes any harder, they probably would have fallen out. "I got this journal from a crazy old woman. No offense," I told Octavia who shrugged in response. "And she told me it was Aphrodite's journal."
"Like the goddess of love Aphrodite?" Lexa asked, eyebrows knitted together.
I nodded. "Yeah. She told me that ever so often, Aphrodite chooses two souls who's love lives she would intervene in and I just so happened to be one of the lucky, chosen ones." I told my best friend. She nodded along, and I wasn't sure if she was believing anything I was saying. "She said that this journal would fulfil my wishes when it comes to love, and I've been writing in it, and the things have been....coming true."
Lexa didn't say anything for a few moments. "What kind of things came true?"
"Well, firstly, I was fucking around and I wished for pizza," Octavia snorted loudly.
"Of all the things you wish for, you'd ask for pizza? Was it good pizza though?"
I threw my hands up in frustration. "Listen, if someone came up to you and told you that a journal can make your wishes come true, would you believe them?!"
"Duh," Octavia said. And I was beginning to realise why the antique shop was so empty. She was annoying. Lexa stared at Octavia for a moment, before looking back at me.
"Then, I uhh, I wrote about my dream girl and certain characteristics about her, and I've met a girl who has the same things like what I wrote about."
Camila.
Gosh. Since the moment I met her, she consumed my every thought.
"Who's the girl?"
Octavia piped up at the mention of me meeting 'the girl' that I had in a sense created with the help of my journal. "Wait, you met the girl already? That's great!"
"Yeahh..." I looked at Lexa sheepishly. We were never one to keep secrets from one another, but this was on a whole other level. More like the, 'Is my best friend mentally okay'? level. "She's well...well I think she's Camila. I saw that she had a journal similar to mine, but she has the moon charm on it."
A huge shit eating grin instantly spread on Octavia's face and I couldn't understand why. "Shit. This is good. It makes my job a lot easier, Well not really, but things are falling into place! Ahhh!!" She screamed excitedly.
Lexa nodded her head slowly, trying to process what was going on. "So," she stressed. "Octavia, how do you fall into all this?"
"Oh, yeah," Octavia stood and adjusted her jacket. "I'm a descendant of the very first love that Aphrodite intervened in, and because of that honour that was bestowed upon my ancestors, Aphrodite chose our bloodline to be the keeper of the journal. And currently, the book keeper just so happens to be yours truly," she gestured at herself, as she did a dramatic bow.
"Are you serious?" I asked her. This was rather strange and seemed a bit impossible but possible at the same time. "How do I know you're telling the truth?"
Octavia sighed dramatically and handed me back my journal. "Apla prepei na pistepseis," she shook her head. "The truth is staring you in the face but you're too busy looking for logic behind it all. Love isn't logic and equations, it just happens and sometimes there's no reasoning behind it."
"Okay, I have a question," Lexa raised her hand as though she was in class, causing Octavia to giggle. "Why does Aphrodite interfere in certain relationships? Like what does she get out of it?"
"She's the goddess of Love remember?" Octavia shrugged. "She doesn't have to get anything of out it. It's her duty. But if you must know, many years ago, according to the story anyway, Eros; Aphrodite's son and her had a misunderstanding over a woman. Her name was Psyche. Because of this woman, Aphrodite grew jealous of her and asked Eros to shoot her with one of his golden arrows, to make her fall in love with the first monsteriousity that she saw. But when Eros saw how beautiful she was, he disobeyed his mother's wishes. And I guess ever since then, she's been a salty bitch."
Octavia shrugged nonchantly.
Eros; the Romans had referred to him as 'Cupid'. He was Aphrodite's son who had met and fallen in love with a woman named Psyche. I've read that, Aphrodite and Psyche never had a good relationship. Despite her being pregnant for Aphrodite's son, she tried her best to get rid of the woman.
Zeus had intervened in the relationship and sent out a warning for Aphrodite to back off, and from what I knew, she did.
But maybe after all these years, she still harboured some sort of animosity towards her son and his wife.
"Eros' role is to make souls fall in love, but there's the few occasions where he messes up and that's where the big guns, AKA Aphrodite comes in, and if she deems you worthy of her help, she intervenes."
Lexa nodded. "But harbouring animosity towards her son, she intervenes in all his mistakes, even if it's every fifty or one hundred years, and holds it against him?"
"Basically. But she doesn't have the golden arrows like Eros to make you fall in love, so she does it her way and by her own rules," Octavia tapped the journal. "And this is how she has done it for centuries."
Wait. Octavia said when Eros makes mistakes, Aphrodite intervenes, what mistake did he make between Camila and I?
"You're thinking too hard, Lauren. I can feel it from here," Octavia took a seat on the front desk, she began to swing her legs back and forth, as though all this was child's play for her, and she didn't have a care in the world. "You want to know what was the mistake Eros did right?"
I nodded.
"You were seeing someone, weren't you?"
"Yeah, her name was Elena," my best friend informed the book keeper. "I mean, I didn't really like her for some strange reason, but Lauren loved her so I didn't really try to fight for them to break up."
Octavia laughed. "Do you have any idea what's your role in all this?"
"Huh?" Lexa stared at her, confusion etched on her face. "What do you mean, 'my role'? I don't...I mean, what?"
"What's your name? Your full name," the girl asked my best friend. Lexa looked a bit weirded out by the question but she told her nonetheless.
"My name is Alexandria Athena Comandeur. What does my name have to do with anything?"
Octavia grinned. "Who is Athena?"
Athena was regarded as the patron and protectress of various cities across Greece, particularly the city of Athens, from which she most likely received her name.
When pictured, Athena is usually depicted wearing a helmet and with a spear in her hand.
"She was also a warrior goddess and was believed to lead soldiers into battle as Athena Promachos," Lexa said after rambling on about who Athena was. "But, what does that have to do with me?"
"You're a warrior, Lexa," Octavia stated. "You have the heart of a fighter. You believe in justice, and you fight for those you love. From the moment you stepped into here, I could feel your love for your friend. And this new love between Lauren and Camila, you'll fight for it. When you see how happy Lauren is with this new girl. Trust me."
My best friend looked at me with a kinked eyebrow, then back at Octavia. She didn't once say if she had believed in what she was hearing. She just kept asking questions, and the more she asked, the more my mind started racing with thoughts.
What if everything Octavia was saying was true?
What if Elena and I were a mistake and I was destined to find a greater love? And that greater love being found in Camila?
"Okay..." Lexa said after a few moments passed. "I really want to say you're crazy as fuck," she told Octavia who shrugged, with a smile on her face. "But for some strange reason, I believe you."
"Wait," I turned to stare at my best friend in awe. I still don't believe what the hell was happening to me, after all these weeks and just like that, Lexa does? "You seriously believe this? Just like that?"
Lexa shrugged. "Call it a gut feeling, Laur. Does Camila know all this? Or is she just as confused as us?"
"I've never met Camila, but I know of her," Octavia pulled out her phone, she looked at something quickly before shoving it back into her jacket. "She's from Greece originally, no?"
I nodded. "Yeah. She told me she was born in Santorini and that her mother still lives there."
"Are you familiar with the religion of 'Olympianism'?" Octavia asked the both of us.
It is also known as Hellenism, and it is a traditional religion and way of life, revolving around the Greek gods, primarily focused on the Twelve Olympians, and embracing ancient Hellenic (the study or imitation of ancient Greek culture) values and virtues.
"Yeah."
"She's Greek, so I'm sure it won't be that difficult for her to believe in these things," Octavia shrugged her shoulders and jumped off the desk. "There's a lot more to this story, a lot more people play important roles, not as important as mine anyway." She winked at us. "It's not going to be as easy as it sounds. Eros matched you with Elena and though you're broken up, it doesn't mean that you're automatically 'unmatched'."
"So I'm going to have to kill Elena?" Lexa asked Octavia.
She chuckled and shrugged. "I mean, it's whatever method that works for you, Athena. But I don't recommend killing her," Octavia then turned to me. "Don't try to force anything. Aphrodite knows what she's doing. Trust me. Thousands of years later, and I can vouch for her. My family always speaks about the love between my ancestors, and it was powerful and undying. It will happen to you and Camila."
"If you don't mind me asking...your ancestors were the first relationship that Aphrodite had intervened in, right?" The book keeper nodded. "Who were they?"
"You've heard of them already," she told me. "They're the love story that everyone tells someone to make them believe in love. Though, it had a tragic ending, their love never died. They were the definition of 'undying love."
Lexa's head shot up from an item that she was admiring. She had zoned out of the conversation, and began looking around at the things in the shop. She was always one to be amazed by antiques. "Wait, you mean Romeo and Juliet? Because no offense, when I think about them, I think about stupidity. Like why on earth would they kill themselves? I can be in love with someone but I'd never kill myself because I can't be with them. Because in death, I still won't be with them."
"No, you dumbass," Octavia rolled her eyes. "The Sun and the Moon. They are my ancestors. They're the first love that Aphrodite had deemed worthy. When the Sun's father had killed the Moon, she prayed to Aphrodite to save her lover and she did. On the thirteenth day of his death, the Moon came out. The Sun had asked the gods upon her death to be reunited with her lover, and when she died, that's when the Sun was formed. They were star crossed lovers, never to be together, but Aphrodite allowed for it to happen."
The way Octavia talked about all of this, the way everything made sense, I couldn't help it I couldn't deny that fact that maybe all of this was true. Maybe Aphrodite was in fact helping me find my way to my one true love.
☾☀️
One day, I promise you that someone will love and respect you the way that you deserve. All these people who have wronged you and who broke your heart, you'll finally see it as clear as day. You'll finally realise, that they were leading you to be with the person who you were destined to be with.
That they were shaping you to be the person you were born to be.
You have to let go.
You have to let go because when you hold on, you keep something alive inside of you. You are allowing your past to take up space inside of you for something that should be your future.
You have to let go, because at the end of the day, if you are going to find the human being that's supposed to bring you the deepest kind of joy and, if you are to experience the kind of love you have always yearned for, you have to make sure that you are ready for it.
You cannot keep leaving a place in your heart for someone that's not meant to be there.
You cannot make a home within your heart for the person who will someday care for you in the softest of ways, if there's someone else's memory lurking in the depths of your mind.
You have to let go.
You have to accept that sometimes beautiful things end. That sometimes people leave.
You have to accept that no matter what, two people cannot beat the odds, and you have to find some sort of closure in that, even if you don't want to.
You have to heal.
You have to move forward, and believe in the version of you that would be laughing in bed at three in the morning with the person you're utterly in love with; ten, fifteen, twenty years from now.
Because, you deserve that in the future.
It is waiting for you.
Choose it.
Not everyone is going to be as lucky as I was to have Aphrodite herself to intervene in their love life. Sometimes the signs are all there. You may not want to give up. You may not want to let go of that beautiful thing you and the person once shared, but you have to.
I think the reason it hurts so much when you have to walk away from someone you're in love with, is because of how much you loved this. How much you loved what the both of you had at one point. You have never loved something as much as you loved what you had, and now that it ended, you finally realise just how big of a part it has been on who you are.
Having to leave something you poured every ounce of your heart and soul into? Let me tell you, that shit is not fucking easy. It's going to tear you apart.
And I guess, maybe for the first time ever, you'll finally understand what it feels like to have your heart break into millions of pieces.
☾☀️
"I know this is a lot to take in," Octavia said after sometime. We were just standing in silence reeling in everything that was said and learnt today. I wanted to not believe what I learnt today, but I don't think that was possible. "...but if you ever have any more questions, I'd be here." She gestured at the antique shop. "Or, you can text me. Give me your phone." She asked Lexa who obliged instantly. "There. I'm just a message away."
"I can't just say your name and snap my fingers and you'd appear?" Lexa asked the book keeper, a teasing smile on her face.
Octavia snorted loudly. "I'm not fucking magic, Lexa. Just call me and I'll try my best to come when you need me."
I just remembered something that had been freaking me out since the very first moment it had happened to me. Though, I had grown accustomed to it, it didn't lessen the fact that it was still weird.
I needed to know why it was happening to me.
"Octavia, wait. I have a question," she kinked an eyebrow, waiting for me to ask what I needed to "Sometimes I hear a whisper. It's always in Greek, whispering things at certain times. What does that mean?"
"That my dear," the book keeper patted me on the shoulder. "...is none other than the goddess of Love; Aphrodite, herself. I told you, she knows what she's doing. It's going to take some time, but everything is going to fall into place. You just need to believe."
Apla prepei na pistepseis.
***
Yo, so how y'all enjoying the story so far and all the answers you got this chapter? 🤧
Also, shout out to a real one; @fifthharmonylern for helping me with my Greek.