My world changed in 2012, New Year’s Eve with my girls on the shore of Glenelg. The atmosphere was thriving as everyone celebrated the ending of yet another year and the welcoming of a new one. New Year Eve’s brings an expectation that in the New Year, everything will be different. That the moment the countdown reaches zero our lives will be changed for the better.
“New Year, New me” we all say.
Until now, I always believed that, that was an old myth to keep people from giving up hope.
Together with my best friends, we walked around and made memories; we laughed at the drunkards and danced to the music. It was a great night but I assumed it would be just another night. Excitedly my friend turned to me, “I am so excited for a New Year. It’s going to be so different.”
“We’re still living the same lives with the same people as the previous year. Nothing is going to change” I naively said.
We were walking back to our spot on the oval, with hot Mac Donald’s bags in our hands when I saw him. He was with his friends; he was laughing and smiling, joking around. I don’t want this to sound cliché but it was literally as though everyone else had disappeared and it was just me and him. Society told me that this feeling was merely a school girl’s crush so I brushed it off and ignored it. He wouldn’t notice me anyway.
My friend surprised me when she walked up to the group and greeted the boys; she smiled and hugged each and every one. I notice the way he looked at her and it was like a fire burned inside me. Why did it burn so deeply when I didn’t even know him? Why was I so protective over something that would never even be mine?
I stood there awkwardly and smiled while envying my friend conversing with the boys. Moments later, we parted from the group and continued on our way to our spot. I didn’t expect to see him ever again after that; I didn’t even bother to ask my friend who he was. When you know you have no chance, there’s just no point to bother. Its human instinct to protect our self, I mean, our self is the only defence we got. Nevertheless, it was nice to be sitting under the stars with my best friends; we stared at the twinkling lights that shun from the heavens above.
“What’s your New Year’s Resolution?” alone with the universe, it seemed like a perfect time to ask my friends what they were expecting from 2013.
“Definitely to lose weight” one of them said.
“I am going to try really hard in school…and actually last longer than the first day” another said.
“I just want to be happy” I bravely confessed.
“What do you mean?” they asked.
“I’m always in search for happiness but the road always changes. I want to find the road and stick to it but I just don’t know where to even look” I sighed.
My dear friend said something that changed the way I looked at things, even too this day. She has no idea that her words stuck with me years on, but they did. Maybe it was the warm breeze of the night that sent her words or maybe it was the stars radiating their wisdom. Nevertheless, she gave me the greatest advice, “I think we like to complicate things when it is really quite simple; find what it is that makes you happy and who it is that makes you happy and you're set”
We sat in silence as the words sunk in. We must have been heavily deep in thought because we didn’t hear the group of boys approach us.
“Hi” I looked up to see him standing in front of me, smiling. In that exact moment, I knew I was set.