Lauren's back ached as she laid in the king-size bed she shared with Camila. Even with an abundance of pillows, propped in just the right places, she was uncomfortable. She'd be this way for the past month. Thankfully, the baby was due in two weeks. She didn't think she could make it any longer.
The bed had become a familiar place for Lauren over the past couple of weeks. At her latest doctor's appointment, the doctor had suggested she take a break from work and try not to move around much. He seemed to be worried that their baby girl might make an early appearance if Lauren kept moving around like normal.
It had been quite depressing for Lauren, so she was thrilled when Camila told her that she thought it would be okay to attend the baby shower that Dinah, Normani, and Ally had planned for this afternoon. They had moved the location from Ally's house to Camila and Lauren's living room so that she wouldn't have to move so much.
Lauren smiled when she heard little footsteps climbing the stairs. She watched as Brooklyn stopped outside of their room and peeked inside, not wanting to barge in if her mama was sleeping. Lauren was convinced she had been instructed to act this way by Camila. If she knew anything about her little girl, it was that she didn't often think things through before she did them. She was led by what made her happy, and Lauren wished there was a way she could go back to being led the same way.
Brooklyn broke out into a grin when she saw her mama smiling at her, waving her hand and motioning for her to come join her on the bed. The little girl ran to the bed and climbed into it when Lauren lifted up the blankets for her to get inside. Lauren cuddled Brooklyn as best she could, given her belly. She took her fingertips and tickled Brooklyn's stomach until the little girl giggled joyfully.
"Stop it, Mama!" she shouted. Lauren tickled a little bit more for good measure and then pulled Brooklyn close again.
"I miss playing with you, Brooksie. You're growing up so fast and I'm sad because I'm stuck in this bed," Lauren said with a sigh as she stroked her daughter's hair.
Brooklyn looked confused. "But I come and visit you in here every day. I would come more but Mama said I need to let you rest."
Lauren looked deep into her little girl's eyes. They were blue, like the clear blue oceans that you would find in a tropical location. No cloudiness to be seen. Lauren thought that maybe the comfort she had been looking for these past few weeks was hidden in there somewhere. "I know, baby girl. You're being so kind for letting me rest."
"Mama, is the baby going to get here soon?" Brooklyn asked. "I really want to see what she looks like."
"I know! I want to see what she looks like too. We won't know what day that she's coming. It will probably start out just like a normal day. But then at the end of it, we'll have a new little baby. It's that cool?" Lauren asked.
Brooklyn's eyes were wide and she looked back at Lauren in awe. "You mean the baby is going to be a surprise?" she responded.
"Sure she is," Lauren said, rubbing circles on the little girl's back.
Camila walked into the room and right over to the bed, where she slipped off her shoes and climbed in to join them. "What are you two doing?" she asked. She snuggled up to the little girl and reached her arm around to the other side to stroke her wife's face.
Lauren smiled lovingly at Camila. "We were just talking about how when the baby gets here, it will be like a surprise. We don't know when she's coming."
"That's right," Camila agreed. "But she's going to come soon, I can feel it," she said, a huge smile spreading across her face.
"You can feel it? I'd like for you to give me updates on what's going on in my body, please," Lauren teased.
Camila propped herself up and leaned down to kiss Lauren on the forehead. "I'll let you know," she whispered.
"What are we going to call the baby when she gets here?" Brooklyn asked. Lauren and Camila exchanged glances. This was something they had avoided for the most part because they both thought it was a lot of pressure to pick out a name that someone had to have for the rest of their life. They knew that eventually they would have to pick something and that was a very stressful concept for both of them.
"What do you think we should name the baby?" Camila asked Brooklyn. The little girl turned so that she was lying on her back. She clasped her hands together and scrunched her nose, a telling sign that she was deep in thought. They all laid silently for a few minutes, thinking about how they would have a baby in two weeks and no idea about what to name her.
Brooklyn was the first to break the silence. "I know what we should name her," she said confidently. Camila and Lauren looked at their little girl and waited for her to tell them what she'd come up with. "Abby."
The little girl said it as if it had always been the answer to their question and she had just managed to figure it out. Lauren's eyes locked on Camila's. They searched each other's eyes, using their long-practiced art of speaking without a single syllable.
"Brooks, can you go and get Mama a bottle of water?" Camila asked. "It's downstairs in the refrigerator."
Brooklyn nodded her head and began to crawl to the edge of the bed. When the little one was out of sight, Camila turned back around to look at Lauren. "So," she said. "How do you like that suggestion?"
"It's really strange that she said that," Lauren said. "But honestly, I've been thinking about Abby a lot recently. Being pregnant has made me think about what Abby must have been feeling when she was pregnant with Brooklyn. She didn't have hardly any support. I don't know what I would do if I didn't have your support and the support of our friends. Everyone has been so incredible and I just feel sad that Abby never had that."
Camila nodded in understanding. "I think about Abby a lot as well. She gave us one of the biggest blessings in our life. You know, I was looking at that letter she wrote for Brooklyn to read when she gets older a few days ago. Sometimes I read it when I feel like I'm struggling as a parent. Her words of wisdom have helped me know what to do."
"Where did we put that letter?" Lauren asked. "I'd really like to read it again. Do you mind getting it?"
"Sure," Camila said. She went over to their closet and opened a drawer that contained important things that they wanted to keep. She easily found the small envelope that had Brooklyn's name written in shaky letters on the front and took it back to Lauren. She handed it off and sat at the edge of the bed while her wife opened it and unfolded the letter. Her heart skipped a beat when she saw the familiar scribbles for the first time in over a year.
*****
Dear Brooklyn,
When you get this letter, I'll be gone and I can only hope to be a memory. I'm writing this letter because I want you to know a little bit about me.
When I was little, I always wanted to be a superhero so that I could save people who were in trouble. I didn't really like wearing tights, so I ruled that one out pretty quickly, but I still wanted to help people. That's a superpower that everyone is born with and I hope you use yours every day.
Find out who you are and never let anyone change the things you believe in. Trying to be someone you're not will kill you on the inside much sooner than you'll die on the outside.
I made it through life with the help of a few incredible friends. I hope you are as lucky in that department as I was. Remember that whoever you choose to spend time with should appreciate who you are and encourage you constantly. If not, move ahead. There are people out there who will love you because you're you, not because you were who they wanted you to be.
When you were a baby, I held you during your nap time. Not because I felt like I had to or because I was too tired to move (which was sometimes the case), but because I wanted to. I always wanted the best for you, even if it meant I had to sacrifice everything.
On the day that I found out I was sick, I was so scared that you would be cheated out of many years of love and guidance from a parent who cared deeply about you. Then, one day I saw Camila and Lauren and I knew they were meant to have you. Turns out, both of your mamas are already superheroes who help people every day, including myself. They love you so much and I can't imagine leaving you with anyone else. When you're older, I know you'll have days when you get angry with them. Remember that they fell in love with you instantly and wanted you from the start. You were given to them, but they chose to keep you. That is significant.
Trust me in this: Wherever I am, I am thinking about you and smiling. I loved you with every molecule of my heart. I woke up every day believing that you would grow up to be amazing. Whether I get to see it or not, know that I will always be with you, in your heart, in your soul, bragging to everyone in heaven about how lucky I was to be a part of your life.
Love,
Abby
*****
Tears were streaming down Lauren's face as she folded the letter once more and placed it back in the envelope. There were so many memories that flooded back into her mind as the words from the letter circled around in her mind. She looked up at Camila, tears clouding her eyes. "You know, I always liked the name Abby. If you like it too, I think it would be perfect," she said.
Camila nodded her head in agreement and moved her hand so that she could wipe the tears from Lauren's eyes. Lauren grabbed Camila's hand and pulled her closer, pressing their lips together. "Now, if we could only figure out why it's taking Brooklyn so long to get a bottle of water from the kitchen," Camila joked.
She gave Lauren one last peck on the lips and pushed herself up to go find their mischievous little girl before she could get into anything too crazy. "I'll be back," Camila promised. "Why don't you get dressed? The baby shower guests should be here at any moment!"
"I will," Lauren said. She smiled back at Camila and laid back to rest for a moment as she heard her wife's footsteps making their way downstairs. She could picture Camila finding Brooklyn downstairs, getting into something she should be getting into and her wife trying hard not to laugh. Being a parent with Camila was one of the greatest joys in Lauren's life. She couldn't wait to start the process over again with their little Abby.
When minutes passed and she didn't hear Camila and Brooklyn anymore, she decided to make her way to the closet to pick out some clothes. She wiggled her toes, trying to get them prepped for their journey across the room. Stretching her arms behind her head, she swung her legs off the edge of the bed. Standing had become difficult, as she felt completely disproportionate, so as she walked to the closet, she held onto various items of furniture for support.
Her maternity clothing was a little less than desirable, but she found a shirt that she hadn't worn often that was fancier than the others and took it off the hanger. She took a deep breath and pulled the shirt she had been lounging around in over her head. Suddenly, she felt something pop. Her eyes grew wide as she realized what was happening. A quick look down at her pants and sure enough, they were wet.
"Camila!" she called out, hoping her wife was somewhere near enough to hear her. "Camila!" she called a second time.
Camila ran up the stairs and found Lauren standing awkwardly in the closet. She rushed over to her wife, wrapping her up in her arms. "What's wrong?" she asked.
"My water just broke. Looks like Abby decided that since she had a name, she would like to be out in the world." Lauren and Camila laughed, despite their current situation.
"Are you ready for this?" Camila asked Lauren.
Lauren nodded her head. "The others are going to kill us for ruining the baby shower," she laughed.