"How long has it been since you last had some?"
I'd been in the middle of a tequila shot when June popped the question. Coughing at the liquid fire that burned down my throat, I swiped the back of my hand across my mouth.
Sitting across from me on her sofa, June looked as if she'd simply inquired about the weather.
Hey, haven't seen you in a while. Had any sex lately?
It'd serve her right if I barfed all over her pristine white velour upholstery. In between hacking coughs, I squinted at her. "Are we really talking about my sex life?"
"Or the lack thereof?" Andy, who was sitting beside June, raised a perfectly trimmed brow as he sipped from a tumbler of brandy, his current poison of choice.
"I hate you."
"Awww." Impervious to my insults, Andy smiled back at me. He and June exchanged evil smiles.
Seriously. It's true what they say—there's a fine line between love and hate. Because as much as I loved these two, there were times I'd happily strangle them.
"Gia, its not healthy!" Andy took another sip of brandy.
I rolled my eyes. "So says the person who gets laid twice a week."
"Not fair!" He pouted, drama-queen mode on. "I've matured in the past few years!"
"Yeah, now he only picks up random guys once a week!" June sniggered as she sucked on a lemon wedge.
Andy slapped June's arm in protest. "Hoy, sometimes I have dry spells due to work and I go without for weeks!" But then he smiled, "But when the work is done, it's time to plaaay!"
"Eeew. Too much information!" Grimacing, I turned to June. "So where is Raul tonight?"
June's husband Raul was part of a team that designed and managed the computer systems of several multinational companies.
"Singapore I think he said when I talked to him this afternoon." June handed me another shot glass. "Too bad you won't stay until the weekend to see him."
"Wow, Raul still calls you every single day?" Andy asked her.
"Sure. I'd kick his balls if he missed a day." Licking salt off her wrist, she downed her shot and grimaced.
Tilting my head, I looked curiously at her. "It never occurred to you it might be a good change if you called him?"
"I do call him!" June protested.
"Oh yeah, she does!" Andy nodded, eyes wide. "But it's usually to say 'Hoy Raul I'm going to be late so you'd better clean the house and have food on the table when I get home!'"
June bashed Andy with a throw pillow. "I only do that when I'm stressed!"
"You're stressed all the time!" Andy raised his arms to cover his face.
Amidst threats of disembowelment and castration, I checked messages on my phone. This was nothing new. June and Andy were happiest when arguing.
"Back to you, Gia," June said when they both had calmed down, "be honest—there's been no one since Guillame, no?"
We had an uncharacteristically quiet moment. We didn't mention Guillame if we could help it. June and Andy had never met him, but they knew he'd hurt me bad.
"Aw Gia, was he that well-hung?" Andy asked.
"Andeee!"
Andy ducked the pillow I had thrown at him. "I had to ask. There's been no one since him, so he must've been a pretty good lay."
June leaned forward. "Gia, is that that scumbag isn't worth turning into a monk for."
"Monks are men." I told her.
"Whatever,"—she waved her hand dismissively—"You know what I mean. You need to start dating again."
My jaw dropped as I gaped at them. "I do! Hel-lo! Exhibit A: painful lunch hour with Jonas the Jerk today."
June elbowed Andy. "Told you he wasn't her type."
"But he was cute!" Andy pouted. "What went wrong this time?"
I rolled my eyes. "Besides the fact he was trying to sell me insurance?" June snorted. I turned and pointed a lemon wedge at her. "See? I date."
Her brows shot up. "That wasn't a date."
"Well, what was it?"
"Coercion, trickery, deception, fraud . . . ouch!" June winced when Andy slapped her arm.
"Hoy, you do it too!" He protested.
"But my guys never sold her insurance!"
I reached for a bowl of chips. My voice was matter-of-fact as I reminded them, "No. Kean had tried to get me interested in a pyramid scheme instead."
We burst out laughing as we recalled that disastrous dinner with one of June's suppliers.
But, see? I do so date. In fact, whenever I come to Manila and meet up with June and Andy, I always expect them to foist someone new on me. Thus, lunch with Jonas today. Unfortunately, Andy's acquaintance had turned nasty when I said I wasn't in the market for a new policy.
"Seriously, Andy and I have been talking about this. All the dates you've had are guys we set you up with."
"So?"
"Gia, you haven't gone out with a guy who's actually your type."
Andy frowned. "She has a type?"
Before I could even open my mouth, June answered, "Remember Chris in college? And Josh?"
"Oh yeah!" Andy snapped his fingers and laughed. "It's been so long, I almost forgot. Gia likes them surly and brooding. Dressed in black from head to toe with a cigarette dangling from their hand."
"Don't forget the sneer!" June cackled.
Andy nodded. "Josh had a great sneer. Went with his whole I-don't-talk-to-people-beneath-me routine."
"At least he didn't mind when Gia was out with us. Chris was so jealous, you'd think you were straight!" June giggled.
"True! Josh was better. At least he came to the office, even if he didn't do a speck of work. Chris stopped coming to class in the middle of our fourth year. Why was that again?" Andy turned to me.
"He got that modeling contract."
"Yup. And then he wrote you off." June laid a sympathetic hand on my knee. "At least that was a clean break. Josh was psychotic! I thought we'd never be rid of him."
Andy laughed. "I know! We almost got evicted because of that uproar outside our apartment."
"They even had to call the police!"
I winced at the memory. It was true—I hadn't had the best taste in guys. Perhaps that was why June and Andy were hell-bent on setting me up with smartly-dressed men who tried to sell me insurance. Perhaps that was the sort of guy I ought to go for? After all, not every man they had pushed at me had been a creep. There had been guys worthy of a second or third date.
Only the second date hadn't happened. Ever.
"I have a theory!" Andy clapped his hands together.
"What?" Despite myself, I smiled at the enthusiasm oozing from Andy.
"You like those type of guys because of your family. It's your way of acting out."
"Andy, please leave my family out of this."
"Gia, you know I love them. But seriously, haven't you ever felt you needed to be good? To conform?"
That struck a chord. Because somehow, even if my family had never said anything, I'd always felt pressured. I always felt like someone was watching. Waiting to see if I'd measure up . . . waiting for me to mess up . . . waiting to say, "See? She isn't as perfect as you'd think!"
Maybe Andy did have a point. "Perhaps I have. But those aren't the types of guys I go for now."
"Really?" June's tone was incredulous. "And what kind of guys do you like now?"
I paused for a minute to think. "Someone stable. Someone who won't let me down. Someone I can trust." I wrinkled my nose. The images those words evoked were kind of staid and boring. Oh well, I had to grow up sometime. "No more angst. No more mysterious, problem-ridden guys."
June laughed. "You actually think you get to choose who you fall for?"
"You know what you need?" Andy asked.
"Besides a sex life?" June clarified.
Andy shushed her. He turned to me and I would have taken a step back if I hadn't been sitting down. There was dangerous glitter in his eyes that I'd come to recognize over the years.
"Gia," Andy's voice quavered slightly, "I have an idea!"