ii. occurrens tibi
[ meeting you ]
Jenessa stared at her reflection and forced a smile on her face.
No. She still appeared exhausted and drained.
At least she looked the part of playing the reluctant bride, she thought cynically.
Sighing, she turned away from the mirror and left her room, the hem of her maroon dress brushing slightly below her knees as she left her room and headed down the grand staircase.
It was the day.
The day that she would meet Victor Ashford formally and sign the betrothal contract that tied them together for the rest of her life.
At that thought, she paused midway on the stairs, briefly wondering if it was possible to run back to her room and refuse to leave.
No. She couldn't. If she jeopardised this arrangement, Lyra would pay for it. Unlike her, her younger sister had a bright future ahead of her.
Even though a week has passed since she was informed about this, Jenessa still couldn't wrap her mind around the whole idea.
She inhaled slowly and continued to descend down the stairs, head held high.
No matter what happened today, she would still have her pride and dignity. No one could take either away from her.
With every step she took towards her father's study, her heart sank. Before opening the double doors, she paused and drew in a deep breath and opened them to see—
—her father waiting impatiently at his desk.
"The Ashfords would be a little late," he informed her curtly and eyed her appraisingly. "Good that you dressed up. We can't have them seeing you in any lesser state."
Jenessa really shouldn't be hoping for any words of endearment or reassurance from her father that everything would be alright. But she was.
Disappointment and bitterness curled up in her gut. She had been a fool to think that her father actually cared.
Edward waved dismissively. "Take a seat while we wait for them." He arched a brow. "I trust that word of this has not spread? Not even to Miss Harrison?"
She shook her head.
She didn't dare risk her parents' wrath to inform her best friend and it had been hell not having anyone to talk to.
"Good."
Jenessa stared at her hands, mind racing as the ticking sounds made by the antique grandfather clock drew her ever so close to the edge.
Hell, she was going insane.
There weren't any words to describe how she felt and thought. Her every thought was coming up with various escape scenarios and how she could possible execute them.
Apparently, she'd been so lost in her thoughts that she'd missed her family's butler announcing the Ashford's arrival.
On auto-pilot, she got to her feet and raised her head—
—and was met with ice blue eyes meeting hers for a brief moment before they glanced away.
Jenessa watched wordlessly as the man she guessed was Victor Ashford was preceded by a older man she presumed was Philippe Ashford.
If she ever thought that her father was the most intimidating man on the planet, she was now wrong. Her father didn't hold a candle to the patriarch of the Ashford family.
Philippe Ashford had weathered features and deep set lines on his face. Additionally, there seemed to be a perpetual furrow on his brows. But it was his presence—the way he held himself that got her attention. He was the type of person who naturally commanded everyone's respect even if you didn't.
Her father didn't even have that quality, she thought snidely.
Her gaze drifted to him, the man she was to marry. Victor Ashford.
Slowly, she took in the perfect dark waves of his hair that was neatly slicked back, the sharp points of his face, angular cheekbones, an aristocratic nose and most importantly, those cold blue eyes.
Despite resenting the man a tad bit for the predicament she's in, Jenessa can't help but admire the fine cut of his suit. She'd known how to spot custom tailor made clothing from a young age and well, Victor Ashford definitely scored high on that point.
The dark navy suit highlighted his broad shoulders, his tapered waist, powerful-looking thighs that made his trousers strain with every step he took and made his already pale skin even lighter.
She sucked in an inaudible gulp of air and decided that it was best for her to fix her eyes on a particular bookshelf behind her father's head.
"Edward!" The older Ashford greeted loudly. "It's been a long time."
Her father smiled broadly. "It has, hasn't it? How have you been?"
"Good. More than good, actually!" Philippe grinned before he gestured to his son. "Enough with the pleasantries, let's get down to business."
Even though she was focusing her gaze on the same bookshelf, Jenessa was very aware of a pair of eyes boring into the side of her face.
Nope.
She wasn't going to give into pressure to turn and look at him.
"This is my eldest son, Victor."
This time, she did shift her body to the right just a little so she could look at him from the corner of her eyes.
"It's very good of you to let me have your daughter's hand in marriage, Sir," Ashford said smoothly and she wanted to grimace or snort disbelievingly.
"No, no! Jenessa is of age and she ought to have been married a long time ago-"
What was she, a broodmare? She gritted her teeth.
"-but seeing how things are played out today, it is very fortunate that she's still available."
Oh, how she wished she could object loudly and stalk out of the room in a huff. But no, she had to think of Lyra.
"Yes, yes, very true. Victor was given a list of eligible women here in England and it seems he's taken a liking to Jenessa."
At that, she stole another glance at Ashford to see a sullen and furious expression flash across his face for the barest of moments before his impassive countenance fell back into place.
She bit her lip and glanced away.
"This is my eldest daughter, Jenessa."
Knowing better to ignore her father's introduction and the underlying threat in his words, she turned and offered a small smile and a curtsey. "It is a pleasure to meet you," she murmured, eyes drifting up to meet the Ashfords.
Philippe was nodding and smiling approvingly but Victor, on the other hand, was simply staring at her without a single expression on his face.
She fought the urge to fiddle with the lacy hem of her sleeves.
"Right, shall we get started?"
For the next thirty minutes, she sat in silence as her father and Philippe Ashford settled the details and stipulations of the betrothal.
It was ironic that either of them didn't get a say in what was going on, considering they were the main parties involved in this ridiculous situation.
She wouldn't lie and say that she wasn't totally oblivious to whatever that was going on. From what she understood amidst the legal jargon, the Ashfords would be gaining while her family would be left out in the cold.
Whereas the Ashfords would be gaining a new member of the family, her father's hopes of having a piece of a slice of their fortune would be dashed to nothing.
Not that she was going to say anything, her family had gotten her into this, hence she wasn't informing her father that Philippe Ashford was clearly manipulating him.
Occasionally, Jenessa stole tiny peeks at her husband-to-be, curious for his reaction as to the contents of their betrothal. However, with each swivel of her head, she was met with a blank stare and the hard ridge of his jaw from where he was clenching his teeth hard.
That small action clearly showed that the man wanted nothing to do with all this—like her.
Somehow, that comforted her.
"How about the two of you spend some time to get to know each other?" Edward suddenly declared, a strained smile on his face as he regarded the both of them. "You are to be wed and should start being familiar with each other."
Her eye twitched when she realised that her father and Philippe must have finished outlining the contract.
Her stomach twisted.
Jenessa pressed her lips into a thin line and involuntarily, turned to her fiancé to already see an outstretched palm waiting. Hesitantly, she took his hand as Ashford helped her up.
His hand was warmer than she thought and way larger than hers, she observed. The calloused tips of his fingers dragged lightly on her palms and she pursed her lips.
Quickly, she released her hand from his and offered him a forced smile. "Thank you."
Edward gave them a bright smile. "Jenessa, why don't you show Victor the gardens?"
Everyone else recognised what it was; an order, not a suggestion.
"Yes, Father," she murmured.
With a wane smile, she left the study, Victor trailing closely behind her, the echo of his Italian leather shoes resounding against the marble, but to her, it sounded like her last few seconds of freedom.
* * * * *
They walked in silence.
Jenessa stared at her surroundings, while occasionally stealing glances at her fiancé.
God, what exactly could she say? There really should be a guidebook for people in the same situation as her.
101 Ways on How to Interact with Your Newly Betrothed? A well written guide with plenty of instructions and examples for you to follow should you be unfamiliar with your betrothed.
Yes, she would snap that up in a heartbeat.
Awkwardly, she clasped her hands at her front and stole another look at Ashford. It certainly wasn't fair that he was completely unfazed and at ease, where she on the other hand, was panicking inwardly—her every brain cell screaming at her to say or do something to break the tense silence.
"I can feel you staring at me."
She flushed and quickly glanced away. "Well, you can't blame me. I've never been in a situation like this before. You just—you really can't expect me to know what I should or should not be doing."
Ashford paused and turned to face her and already, those eyes of his were scrutinising her every movement.
Unnerved, she snapped, "I can feel you staring too, you know."
Something like wry amusement flashed across his face but before she can decipher it, it was gone.
"I'm aware of that, yes."
Did he have to be such a prick?
Jenessa sighed, deciding to take the bull by its horns. "Look, Ashford, I—" she stopped when her betrothed raised an eyebrow at her use of his last name.
She ignored him and continued. "I know that if things were different, we would never have set eyes on each other—"
"I highly doubt that, London society circles are quite small," he interjected mildly.
She seethed and inhaled sharply, trudging on, "And I know that things right now are not exactly what we wanted—"
"Is that so," he stated flatly.
Jenessa can't help but notice that those words were more of a statement than a question and her temper skyrocketed.
If he thought that she wanted this—that she'd been hoping for a match that was as prestigious as the one she'd gotten with him, he was dead wrong.
Already things were tough enough, and the gall the blasted man had to make their shared situation more uncomfortable and difficult—No. Just no.
Glowering up at him, she retorted heatedly, "Well, it's not like you're on my wishlist on Amazon."
Ashford snorted and shoved his hands into the pockets of his jacket and she blinked. Was that a hint of an actual smile on his face?
"Anyway, I just wanted to say that we may be in a situation that we don't want, but I do hope that we can have an amiable partnership," she said carefully, eyes scanning his features warily.
Hopefully, she added inwardly.
With his eyes fixated on her, Jenessa resisted squirming from the intensity of his gaze and lifted her chin, meeting his eyes head on.
After a beat of silence, Ashford nodded curtly. "I agree." Shifting his jaw, he straightened his stance. "First, you can call me, Victor."
She licked her lips. "Alright. What else is there?"
He furrowed his brows. "What?"
"You said that the first thing to do is to call you with your given name. So what's second on your list?"
Ashford—no, Victor gave her an appraising look before turning to his right where the famed Caldwell roses were planted.
She hated roses—the scent of it was cloying and often, they stayed with her throughout the day.
"I do hope you're aware that by joining the Ashford family, there are several important roles you ought to perform. Not to mention the various community projects and charities we run."
Jenessa narrowed her eyes.
Was he actually implying that he thought she would remain a mere trophy wife and do nothing but have tea parties and go for shopping sprees?
Goddamnit, she was offended.
Gritting her teeth, she forced a smile on her face, albeit it resembled one that a predator gave to its prey.
"I am aware, yes," she gave a saccharinely sweet smile and continued, "I'm sure I can handle it, considering the fact that I'm already part of several charities for years and as such, have worked with the numerous foundations your family has developed on more than one occasion."
She was not going to lie that the assessing look he'd shot her from the corner of his eye filled her with a sense of smug satisfaction.
Abruptly, he stopped walking and looked down at her.
Did he have to be so tall? She thought, a tad exasperated.
"If that's so, there are occasions where—"
Really, she was done. She was supposed to get to know her betrothed, not be interrogated by him as though she was some dirty gold-digger after his fortune. She didn't even want any of it—or him.
"Why did you pick me?" she questioned, her stance straightening as she interrupted what was no doubt some ridiculous list of tasks.
"I beg your pardon?"
She sighed and settled her gaze on the pretty white carnations from afar. "I know that I wasn't the only eligible female you could have chosen." Her eyes darted back to his once more. "There was a list and you could have chosen anyone else. I doubt I was the most impressive candidate. So. Why me?"
Finished, she flicked her gaze back to him and raised her eyebrows expectantly. Victor, on the other hand, was meeting her gaze intently, his face giving away nothing. Jenessa figured she might as well be facing a blank wall.
Their staring contest continued, neither of them giving in until a muscle under his left eye twitched and he turned away from her and continued to walk down the path.
She scoffed quietly at his actions and pressed her lips into a thin line before following after him, wishing that she was anywhere but here.
Ten minutes passed and Jenessa found herself admiring the tulips that had bloomed, unaware of the way a pair of eyes studied her.
Gently, she traced the silky soft petals of the pink tulip with her fingers before tucking a curl behind her ear. God, when exactly was the last time she'd taken a leisurely walk through her family gardens?
She honestly didn't know.
"I didn't want this." His baritone voice suddenly broke the silence.
She paused, hands falling back to her sides before she slowly raised her head to meet his eyes. "Neither did I," she said softly.
Victor didn't say anything else but exhaled heavily and Jenessa realised they had already made one full circle around the gardens and was now approaching back to the front door of her home.
They walked in companionable silence and hey, she was perfectly fine with that until he broke it. "Because you're you," he finally said as he turned towards her.
She stopped and blinked. "What?"
An impatient look flashed over his face but something like resignation settled instead. "Because you're not like the others. You're not after money or power."
Her eyes widened and her lips parted as her mind came to the realisation that he was replying her question from earlier.
"And if I had to spend the rest of my life with someone, she would be someone like you," he finished mildly, blue eyes boring into hers.
She gaped at him, speechless beyond belief.
"Well, then." He offered a short nod and turned on his heels, hands shoved elegantly into his pockets and began to leave.
It wasn't until he was about five metres away that her senses flooded back into her brain.
"Wait!"
The word had already left her mouth before she could stop it and Jenessa cringed inwardly from the way Victor was studying her through those icy blue eyes.
It was too late for her to back-pedal and she bit her lip and took a step forward. "I—why are you telling me this?"
He quirked up a brow. "Didn't you ask earlier?"
She grimaced. "You didn't want to answer at first. So why tell me now?"
"Because."
"Because," she repeated flatly.
From her unamused tone, Victor eyed her through half-lidded eyes and shrugged. "Good day," he said evenly, leaving her to watch his retreating figure.
Alone, she made a face at his back, blew out a breath and her shoulders sagged as though it was a bow that had just released the tension from a drawn arrow.
Honestly.
Conveniently, she sank onto one of the numerous stone benches littered around and rubbed her temples in a clockwise motion.
This was the man she was to wed? The infuriatingly cool and aloof man who had snarky answers and sly remarks on everything? The man who was merely content to stare at her and make things difficult? What the buggering hell was she to do?
But.
Jenessa pursed her lips and frowned. What could she say about the comment he'd made—the one where he'd chosen her because she wasn't materialistic and money-hungry?
Not to mention, what should she even think about that? And what the bloody hell did that say about him?
She winced, her brain hurt from thinking and overanalysing every word and action Victor had given. She bit her lower lip and pushed the stray blonde lock of her hair behind her ear.
Maybe, she just wasn't capable of thinking through all of this rationally. It'd been quite a day.
However, throughout their entire meeting, Jenessa had noticed that Victor hadn't really smiled.
Not even once.
* * * * *
A/N: OkAY i'm like shocked that you guys are loving this as much as I do?? LIKE???? tysm for reading! please let me know what are your thoughts! I do adore reading your comments! <3 Also, i'm like 60%-85% sure that i want Lily James to play Jenessa, idk, let me know!! and if so, i need a male cast? god i always have problems with that.
P4/3/19