I groaned as I slowly opened my eyes, the last thing I remember is I'm about to talk to Lucas so I tried finding him but I got really nervous and began thinking negative things again, Tapos bigla nalang akong nahilo.
"Hi mama."
Ngiting bungad saakin ni Emori, My forehead creased, Kasalukuyan kaming nasa loob ng sasakyan.
"Emori?"
Sambit ko saka ibinaling ang tingin sa harap, From the mirror, My eyes met his intense gaize. I heaved a deep breath.
"Where are we going? Why am I here?"
Kunot noong tanong ko, I saw Lucas grinning from the mirror.
"Were kidnapping you."
He simply said then shrugged, I glared at him.
"Seriously?"
I uttered giving him a blank expression.
"We'll talk later, I still need your explanation Honey."
Sambit nito sa seryosong tono, I just rolled my eyes on him. Hindi ko na siya muling kinausap pa at si Emori nalang ang inasikaso, I still don't know what to say.
"Mama sabi ni papa hindi ka na raw aalis."
Ngiting ngiting sabi nito, My heart skipped beat on what he said.
"W-what?"
Kunot noong tanong ko, What the heck he's been telling Emori?!
"Sabi po ni papa nung umalis po kayo pag nahanap niya raw po kayo hindi mo na po kami iiwan kaya happy na po ako ng super super dupeeer."
Tuwang tuwang sabi nito sabay palakpak, I just sighed then glared at Lucas. ilang oras din kaming bumiyahe, may dalang mga pagkain si Lucas na mukang galing pa sa kasal kaya naman ay hindi kami nagutom sa sasakyan. Palubog na ang araw nang dumating kami sa kung saan mang lugar, It's a vacation house near the ocean, The whole place looks really peaceful and relaxing. Mahigpit na hinawakan ni Lucas ang kamay ko at walang imik na iginiya kami papasok.
I can't help but be amazed to the beauty of this place, The house is a combination of modern and classic house, there's also a big garden with a playground on it.
Seems like a good place to raise kids---
Bahagya pa akong natigilan nang bigla nalang iyong pumasok saaking isipan. The heck?
"Lucas.."
I called his name, Nakatulog agad si Emori, marahil ay dahil pagod ito sa biyahe.
"Why did you tell Emori that? ayokong umasa yung bata."
Sambit ko, but then Kristine's voice echoed on my head.
'Stop being selfish and let yourself be happy..."
Can I really? All these years nasanay na ako, I got used to it like it's a daily part of my life already, Being sad and empty... I've been scared for so long so I want to face it, but I still have doubts, will this really work out?
"Tell him, Tell him everything...I'm sure he'll listen."
I can do it right? I'm always scared of being too happy... But can I take risks this time? I do love him and right now I don't think I'm deserving for this. Gusto kong maibigay yung sarili ko ng buong buo, I still have missing pieces in my heart that I don't know if I could ever find nor heal. Is it really okay to give myself a chance? just this once?
"You should know by now that I won't give up on you, You only have two choices Reyanne.... Stay and love me and Emori or Go away and you'll never see Emori ever again, Also I'm a ranaldi, which means I could give you anything you want, just name it but being a ranaldi has a power to ruin anybody... "
Madilim ang muka at seryosong sambit niya, I bit my lower lip as I avoided his intense melting gaize.
"Are you black mailing me?"
I asked, Obviously.
"Yes..."
He simply answered, mariing napapikit nalang ako ako.
"What if I choose the option two?"
I asked, Napatiim bagang itong lalong sumeryoso ang tinging ibinabaling saakin.
"Then I'll never let you go, We'll stay here untill you choose to stay. I hate being selfish, I bet I'm being too unfair and really greedy right now, but I don't have a choice... I don't want to loose you Honey."
My heart keeps pounding as he said those words, para akong kakapusin ng hininga sa mga salitang iyon na lumabas sa bibig niya.
"Also you're pregnant with my child, do you really think, I will still let you get away from me that easily? Even though you're not, I'm still not letting you go...."
My eyes widened on what he just said.
"H-How---"
I didn't finish what I'm going to say when Lucas already cutted it.
"Chase told me, and you don't know how happy I am when I found it out, though, it'll be more special if you're the one who told me."
"Wait? are you even planning to tell me huh?"
naniningkit ang matang tanong nito, bahagya akong napaatras at nag iwas ng tingin.
"Yes, I was about to tell you at Leigh and Tyson's wedding but I suddenly passed out and the next thing I knew, I'm already at your car, going somewhere I don't even know."
I uttered, Lucas sighed harshly.
"You're not leaving us and that's final."
Mariing sambit nito, naningkit ang matang binalingan ko ito ng masamang tingin.
"And who are you to tell me that? Yes I do love you and Emori but I have to leave---"
Give yourself a chance to be happy Reyanne... Stop being selfish.
Mariin akong napapikit nang maalala muli iyon.
"And I love you more, you Emori and our child inside you. So I won't let you go even if you beg me to, Why are you so eager to leave anyway? What are you so afraid of?"
Madilim ang mukang sambit niya, marahas akong napabuga ng hangin. Nilukob kami ng nakabibinging katahimikan, My knees are shaking, I feel like I'm out of air and it's somewhat suffocating me. Should I really tell him? I managed to tell Nickos, So what's stopping me from telling Lucas? You want him to understand right?
You're just afraid that he might judge you, You're scared of what he will think or say that might break you even more.
It's okay if it's from other people, but just by imagining him doing that is already giving me pain.
"Kris recommended me to her friend abroad, He's a psychiatrist."
I started, kumunot ang noo nito nang marinig iyon.
"Why would you need a psychiatrist? And what? He?"
Malalim ang gitla ng noong sunod sunod na tanong niya.
"Kris has been my psychiatrist for less than 7 years already, I think I won't be able to fully recover if I stay here with all those bad memories I've been suffering for years so I decided to finally let go and then leave as soon as possible until I'm fully healed, until I finally found myself."
I spouted, bahagyang itong natahimik. Lucas stared at me for a moment, as if he's been memorizing every detail of my face. His intense gaize seems to melt me, I was suddenly caught off guard, right now, I just want to look at those pair of blue orbs of his.
"I want to know you Reyanne, I want to know more of you. I know It will be too much to ask, But I do want to know your story, I want to understand you."
My heart just wouldn't stop from pounding, Nakagat ko ang pang ibabang labing dahan dahang tumango. I heaved a heavy deep breath as I begain to talk.
"Okay..."
Lucas Ranaldi
"I didn't grew up like a normal kid, I'm not allowed to play outside, I'm not allowed to be loud, I don't even have any toys. on such a young age I am trained to be the best, I am always locked on my room to read, I will only go out every meal. I have to learn different languages, different subjects, I have to be perfect at everything. I am not allowed to fail or I'll be punished, I lived with everyone's expectations, There is no room for failure and dissapointment. I'm not even allowed to do what I want, I'm not allowed to say no, I have to obey each rules, I have no freedom to decide on my own. If only she didn't died, Maybe it will be the other way around. Who am I fooling? I'm not allowed to think of her..."
A single tear started to fall from her eyes when she mentioned her, A single tear was followed by another, I saw pain on her her eyes as she started talking again.
"She's my sister, Their daughter... I am just a mistake, that's what my mother always tell me. bunga ako ng pagkakamali ng ama ko, He had an affair, My biological mother died from giving birth to me, napilitan silang kupkupin ako dahil wala ng ibang kamag anak ang babaeng iyon. That's why I'm treated differently from her, They said I should do my best, na utang na loob kong kinupkop nila ako. That I don't really belong so I should try my best to pay them back, My father don't even treat me as his own, It's always her, My half sister. Then that day came...
we were both kidnapped on our way home, It's because of my father's enemies, He's a senator and it's campaign period that time, so they were all busy to notice. Halos ilang araw rin kaming kinulong roon at di pinakain. The kidnappers want him dead, their condition is for him to get us alone. When we both heard that, we decided to try to escape, but things happened so we actually failed, my sister was the one who got shot when she tried protecting me. I'm just a kid who don't even know what to do that time, so I did what my sister told me to.
I managed to escape and get some help, nahuli rin ang mga kidnappers, but my sister didn't survive, malalim ang pagkakabaon ng bala, she also lost a lot of blood, her young body didn't take it, hindi na siya umabot ng ospital. My parents blamed me for what happened, They said that if I did not left her there, She could still be alive... They've been blaming me for years on what happened. Sometimes I am imagining that they are smiling at me tapos tatawagin nila ang pangalan ko, and then they would hug me really tight while caressing my hair, then we will go on a picnic with my sister, we will have fun and then they will read me bed time stories just like the other kids.
But It weren't like that, I was raised with my family's expectations, There's no room for love and softness, I should build a wall around me, I should hide all my emotions to prevent people from coming in, cause they might cause a greater damage. Since she died I became scared of gettibg close from other people, maybe I am meant to be alone? I always do things by myself, I want to be happy, pero para akong robot, and being happy is not on my manual... I should focus of being the best."
Huminga itong ng malalim bago muling nagsalita, Hindi ko binitawan ang kamay nito habang patuloy lang sa pakikinig.
"But that's not just it... Something happened that caused me too much pain, Something that I've been suffering for years that I couldn't forget."
A river of tears suddenly falled from her eyes, Puno ng hinanakit ang mata nito habang mariing nakakuyom ang mga kamao niya.
"It's all my fault, I'm not deserving to ever have one again... just why? Why do I have to be like this? What did I do to live like this?"
Mariin akong napapikit saka hinapit ang bewang niya at mahigpit siyang niyakap.
"I lost him Lucas... I lost my child."
She uttered, I froze at the moment, tumingala itong sinalubong ang mga mata ko.
"It's a one night stand, with someone I don't even know who, I said it's okay, this baby is a blessing, the only thing that I am thankful for that incident."
Nagpatuloy lamang ito sa pagkukwento, Seeing her being like this... I just can't help but feel the pain she's been feeling, I felt like my heart is being torn apart, seeing how painful it was for her.
"And then I found out that my parents didn't do anything to save him, He could have been saved, but they didn't do anything. I lost my child and my connections with my parents, And now I'm scared, I don't think I deserve all of this, I don't----"
I didn't let her finish her sentence, I wiped her tears while staring at her.
"Let me heal you Reyanne, Let's fix each other's broken pieces..."