Fergie's Point of View
I can't stop thinking about Tatianna. I've been thinking about her ever since we left from our trip. Now that I've seen how awkward she's been acting, I know that she has to have feelings for me—way deep down. Am I imagining all of this? She flirts with me sometimes, and likes to pass it off as friendly banter. Should I even waste my time trying to get with her? I've known Tatianna for such a long time now and I can't imagine what life would be like without her. Even if she doesn't like me back, I still want her in my life as a friend. If she keeps acting this way, we'll never be close friends again. I wish she'd tell me what's going on inside her mind. I hate how she makes things so difficult sometimes.
"Mind if I come over after practice?" I ask Dev.
It's the end of the school day, and all the cars are leaving the parking lot. We make our way to the football field, lugging our sports bags with us. The cross country runners and boys soccer players follow sporadically behind us. I honestly don't know how the cross country runners run endless miles. I'd probably pass out somewhere along the road, I can't run long distance for crap. I'm pushing it by running all over the field for football. I'm the most laziest athlete that I know. I get the work done, I just don't like doing it. I love football—hate the workouts.
"Why?" He asks.
It's never a 'why'. He always tells me I can come over. In fact, sometimes I come over without giving him a heads up. His family is also my family, we've established this already. Why does he have to ask me this? I can tell that he's starting to question why I even come over at all. Of course, I enjoy seeing Tatianna whenever I come over, but that's not the main reason why I visit at all. She's part of the reason, but it's not like I'm with her every time I come over. I'm barely ever around her whenever I go over their house.
"My parents are renovating our kitchen and they're starting today. I just didn't wanna be around all that noise. They'll be finished by the time I get back home later on tonight, if you let me come over. I think it'll take at least a week." I shrug my shoulders.
"Yeah, man." He nods his head. "I don't care."
"You sure?" I raise my eyebrows. "Cuz it kinda sounds like you do."
"I mean, now that I know you like Tati for sure, I just gotta be careful." He quietly says.
"Dev." I stop walking, as soon as we enter the field.
"What?" I can tell he feels guilty for saying that.
"What do you mean by careful? You know I would never do anything to hurt, Tatianna." I'm offended. I really am.
"Fergie, guys only want one thing. I'm a guy, I would know. I love Brittany, and we waited at least 5 months because that's what she wanted. I'm a good guy, I'd never cheat. So of course I waited." He explains.
"You think I just wanna be with your sister for sex?" I scoff.
"Aye, chill on all that. Don't use my sister and sex in the same sentence." He grimaces.
"And then you're insinuating that I'd cheat if she doesn't have sex with me." I shake my head. "I can't believe this."
"No, I'm not saying that bro." He sighs.
"Then, what are you saying Dev?"
"Things can go wrong. You're my best friend, she's my sister. If anything happens, I know I'ma have to choose. You just never know what could happen. Besides, we graduate this year. She gotta whole nother year in high school left." He says.
"I like Tatianna, and I have for a very long time. I don't want to use her for sex. I'm attracted to her mind, her personality. She's real. I know her like a book." I explain. My heart flutters just by thinking about her.
"Man, I don't know." He shakes his head.
"Don't worry about me coming over. I'll just stay at home and deal with the noise."
"Fergie." He tilts his head to the side. "Man, don't be like that."
"Clearly, you don't want me around. I can take a hint." I snap.
"It's not that—I just, I just don't know what to think about all this. I want to find reasons why you shouldn't make this work, but it's hard because you're you. I know you a good guy, bro. It's just my little sister we talking about here." He scratches behind his ear.
"Dev, I promise if you just give me a chance, Tatianna will have nothing to worry about." I slap a hand on his shoulder. "I would never do anything to hurt her intentionally and we both know that."
"Don't make me regret this." He stares at me with a serious facial expression.
"You won't, I promise." I smile.
Coach blows his whistle for us to meet in the middle of the field, signaling the beginning of practice. All I can say is that practice went by slow. My mind kept wandering to thoughts of Tatianna. I didn't know what I was going to tell her when I saw her, or how I was going to bring up the topic. All I knew was that I was going to lay it all out in the open. It's about time that she knows that I have feelings for her. Now is as good as any time. If she doesn't feel the same, then I'll have to get over it. I'm going to college soon, anyway. If she does like me, then we will figure something out because I want her in my life. It's about time someone steps up as the bigger person.
Tatianna's Point of View
The moment I hear two voices when the door opens, I instantly know that Fergie followed Devin home. I see nothing is going to change around here. Fergie is still going to pretend like our house is his because he's barely at his own home. I don't even bother leaving my room because I don't want to run into Fergie right now. I've been thinking about what's going on and I think it's important to spend some time to myself. Everyone is constantly hounding me with questions and it's driving me crazy.
After giving it some thought, I've decided that I'm going to tell Ethan that we should remain friends. I know the truth is going to hurt him, but I'd rather hurt him now than date him for all the wrong reasons. I honestly think that there is someone out there for Ethan, he just has to look past what he is used to—me. He thinks that we're perfect for each other because we've been friends and we know each other well. Sometimes a friendship is enough.
I don't know how long I'm emerged into my thoughts, before I hear a knock on my door. I already know who it is before he enters the room. I just don't know if I'm ready to face him yet. He walks into my room and sits at my desk. He looks like he is fresh out the shower, with a red tint to his skin and still slightly wet hair. His hairs at the nape of his neck are stuck to his head with a glisten, a few beads of water here and there.
"Hey." He says, smiling at me.
"Hi." I smile back. I always smile around him, that's my problem now.
"Can I talk to you?" He scratches his head.
"Yeah." I nod my head.
I watch him as he stands up and walks toward my door. I'm not going to lie, I thought he was going to leave my room. Instead, he closes my door ever so lightly and walks over to me. He sits down at the foot of my bed, as if he is afraid to test the waters and sit near me. He doesn't even have to sit near me for me to feel nervous. My heart is already pounding at the sight of him. It makes me want to reach out and touch him just to let him know how I feel.
"I've been having a lot on my mind these past few days." He clears his throat.
That makes two of us.
"Mm." I nod my head.
"And honestly, I can't stop thinking about you." He locks eyes with mine.
What?
Hold on.
What did he just say!?
Oh my gosh, Fergie has been thinking about me!
"You haven't?" I ask, furrowing my eyebrows.
"No." He shakes his head. "I guess what I'm trying to say is that I like you. I guess these past few days have given me courage to finally say it to your face."
"Fergie!" I giggle, covering my mouth. "This is crazy."
"Crazy good or crazy bad?" He chuckles. I can tell he is nervous by the way his voice trembles.
"Good," I laugh, "I like you, too. I ain't gone tell you for how long though. It's kinda embarrassing."
"Try me." He smirks.
"Since we were kids." I look down at my comforter.
I feel the bed move and hear Fergie's body shuffle closer to mine. He puts a hand on my leg and I look up at him. Never has Fergie's touch ignited every nerve inside my body this much.
"I think it's cute." He smiles. "Like you."
"Stop." I wave him off, smiling.
"I'm for real." His thumb brushes over my leg. "So what are we gonna do?"
"I don't know."
"I think you should let me take you out. Let you know how a real gentleman gets down." He laughs.
"Can't we just hang out here?" I raise my eyebrows.
"No. I wanna take you somewhere." He shakes his head.
"Okay."
"So, why didn't you tell me sooner? I felt like I was dropping hints like a motherfucker." He asks.
I felt like he was too, but then again I thought I was out of my mind for even thinking he'd like me.
"I don't know." I shrug my shoulders. "I just didn't think you'd like me in that way."
"I guess we were both thinking the same thing." He says.
"Yeah, guess so." I smile.
"Listen, I'm gonna leave out of your room before Dev freaks out." He chuckles. "But I'll talk to you later about this, okay?"
"Okay."
I think I almost faint when he bends over and kisses me on the cheek before he leaves my room.