Isabel looked down at the man that was lying on the ground, empty bottles in a pile near his hand, a needle sticking out of his arm. Isabel shook her head. They had been too late. The rest of the team was with her, and they had different reactions. Two of the girls were crying, one looked angry, and the males were all confused. How could the man do something like this? He had hidden his pain well enough that they didn't know that it was there. She kneeled down next to him, checking his pulse, shaking her head when she found nothing.
He was dead.
**************
Ciara sighed, trying to calm her frazzled nerves. Today was the first day she'd be back in action after her gunshot wound, and she wasn't ready to face Reid. How could she after what she had done to him? She had tried to save Tayler, but she had failed. Braeden hadn't believed her when she was, in fact, telling him the truth. That was the worst part. She hadn't even been lying. She was Tayler's only hope, but she had failed her. And what's worse, she had failed Reid. Reid was counting on them, on her, to save Tayler, and she had died. And when he needed her the most, she had been in the hospital, unable to help him.
But why did he need her so much? That she couldn't understand.
"You okay?" Akilah asked. "Do you need any more painkillers?" Akilah had shown over the past two months that she really did have a soft side. She had become like Ciara's temporary mother, always hovering over her when she was there, making sure Ciara had everything she needed, from blankets to painkillers to snacks. Akilah had forced Ciara to eat so many snacks, she might have actually gained a pound. That and the bedrest might have also caused her to gain a pound or two. Hah. Gaining two pounds. That wasn't possible.
"Yeah, I'm okay. I have my emergency pain pills with me if I need them. I can't believe they actually cleared me to travel. Can ye believe that?"
"Yeah, not really. Don't worry, I won't let you do anything too much. You know I won't let you," Akilah responded.
"Yes, Mam," Ciara joked, but Ciara almost felt as if the name was deserved. She really was a temporary mother while Ciara was recovering. Finally, they arrived at their destination, and Ciara took a deep breath, grabbed her go bag, which she was sure she'd need, before walking in with Akilah. As soon as they were inside the bullpen, everyone else turned to see her, and they excitedly ran over to her, giving her loving pats on the shoulder and asking questions. They forgot one of her ground rules, which was one at a time. But at that moment, she didn't really care. She was just glad to see her team again. But there was one face that she didn't see. "Where's Reid? Is he still taking time off?"
"No, we were actually hoping you knew where he was," Hotch answered, and Ciara shook her head. She hadn't talked to Reid since the night on the rooftop. That had been one thing she had missed during her two months off. She had missed their conversations, but he hadn't texted her at all during those two months, and Ciara was too much of a psychosis-riddled ball of anxiety to text first, and Reid knew that.
"So where is he?" Rossi asked, and everyone had to admit they didn't know. Ciara automatically went over to his desk and started peeking around, seeing if there was anything there that might be able to tell where Reid was. At first, it looked like there was nothing until Ciara noticed a piece of paper that was just out of place. Reid would never leave a paper out of place. That was one of the many things they had in common. She picked up the paper, knowing it would be important, but not knowing just how important.
To my wonderful team:
"I have something!" Ciara cried, and immediately, the entire team was behind her, looking over her shoulder. It honestly made her a little nervous, but she knew they would want to see what she was looking at. As the fastest reader after Reid, Ciara made short work of the note.
To my wonderful team:
I truly regret that it all has to end this way. If I could go back and change things, I would. I would go back and make sure we took Tayler's case before Braeden abducted her. Unfortunately, it is impossible to go back and change the past. I do not blame any of you for what has happened; I purely blame myself. In a moment of weakness, I allowed myself to be comforted by an old vice, one that I'm sure you can figure out what it is.
"Dilaudid. He got back on Dilaudid," JJ gasped as she caught up with Ciara. Everyone knew about Reid's past with the drug and knew that it had been so hard for him to quit the first time. The second time would be even harder.
I'm sure you've heard the saying that grief is like an ocean. Well, my ocean is so deep that it covers me and drowns me. I miss Tayler so much it's like an endless abyss. I met her on a college campus and I've cared so much about her ever since. Grief makes you do unimaginable things, as we know. So I'm going to say goodbye. Goodbye to all of you on my team. I don't know what's beyond death, but I hope there is something. Today I'm going to go to the place where we first held hands and I'm going to let my vice overtake me.
Dr. Spencer Reid
Ciara looked at his scrawling signature, mouth agape. No!
"Oh my God, he's gonna overdose on Dilaudid! He's gonna kill himself!" Garcia cried, and immediately, the bullpen was a flurry of activity. Everyone was trying to figure out where they first held hands because that was where he was going. Meanwhile, Ciara was just staring at Reid's letter. A memory popped up in her mind, but she squashed it down. Now was not the time for memories. Now was the time to help Reid. Reid couldn't kill himself. Who would she nerd out with? Who would she work on a geographical profile with? Who would she go on Saturday excursions with to work on her social skills? Nobody, that's who. She reread the letter, looking for something she may have missed. That was when a line in the letter stuck out to her.
I met her on a college campus and I've cared so much about her ever since.
The line was written differently than the rest of them. Like he was trying to bluff it. But what was he bluffing? That's when it hit Ciara: Reid and Tayler had met at a bookstore, not a college campus. Was it a mistake, or was it a clue?
"Guys, I think I have something, but I'm not sure what I've got," Ciara said, and the entire team looked at her.
"Anything is helpful right now," Hotch reminded her, and Ciara nodded.
"The letter says he met Tay-ler at a college campus, but he didn't. He met her a bookstore. Not a college bookstore, just a normal bookstore. I think he's trying to tell us something, but what?" Ciara wondered.
"Is it possible he just made a mistake?" Morgan asked.
"This is Reid we're talking about," Prentiss countered. "So why say something that wasn't true? What is he trying to tell us?" Ciara looked through the rest of the letter. He was going to the place where they first held hands. Well, that had to be a pretty private place for him to be able to overdose on Dilaudid. If it was a public place, it would never work out. So where was he going? That's when it hit her. Tayler and Reid hadn't met on a college campus.
Ciara and Reid had.
"I know where he's going," Ciara whispered, and Rossi asked her to repeat herself. "I know where he's going!" Ciara suddenly ran out of the bullpen, ran right outside into the warm May day. But then she realized. She was in Quantico. How would she get to D.C. in time?
"Ciara!" She heard Akilah behind her, holding her keys. "Tell me where we're going."
"Where's everyone else?"
"They trust you to get to him."
"Then let's go." The entire time, Ciara wasn't sure what she'd say to Reid. Would she even have a chance? What if he had already overdosed? What if he was already dead? No, Ciara wasn't going to think that way. She would get to him in time. She looked over at Akilah and suddenly knew there was something else she had to do that day, too. She was going to save Akilah as well. But Akilah wouldn't listen to her. Who was someone she'd listen to? Morgan. They had gone out for coffee together at least three times at this point. She'd listen to him. As soon as they knew Reid would be safe, she'd go talk to Morgan.
"You okay?"
"Yeah. I'm fine." Ciara wasn't fine. She was freaking out. She didn't know what she was going to walk into. She told Akilah to make a turn, and she saw the abandoned warehouse in sight. The abandoned warehouse where Reid and Ciara had first held hands.
"Do you want me to go in with you?"
"No. This is something I have to do myself," Ciara answered, and as soon as they had parked in front of the warehouse, she jumped out of the car and ran into the warehouse. She looked around and saw Reid sitting in the patch of sunlight where they first held hands. She saw bottles next to him, and some of them were empty. The needle was beside him on the ground, but Ciara could still see the needle mark on his arm. She wasn't exactly too late, but if she didn't convince him to go to the hospital, she would be. He had his eyes closed, and it looked like he was crying. She sighed, and went and sat next to him, grabbing his hand. "Hey. What's going on?"
"You figured it out." His breathing was slow and his hands were clammy, two signs of a hydromorphone overdose. Ciara really needed to convince him to go to the hospital.
"I did. If ye didn't want me to, ye should have hidden yer clue a little harder."
"I wanted you to be the one who figured it out."
"Reid..."
"I just miss her so damn much. When will this end?"
"I don't know, Reid. But Reid, listen to me. It's not yer fault. Tay-ler's death is not on ye. It's on me. I tried to save her but I failed. I failed to convince Brae-den that I really am Is-abel Ashe and because of that Tay-ler is dead. Don't go around with that guilt on yer shoulders when it doesn't belong to ye," Ciara told him, but he shook his head.
"But it's not your fault. I should have done so much more for her. I should have brought the case to the BAU before Braeden took her. JJ had a stalker case a couple years back and we managed to save the girl. So why couldn't we save Tayler? Why didn't I bring the case up to the table before Braeden abducted her?" Reid asked, and Ciara didn't answer right away, just put two fingers on his neck. The pulse was weak, but it was there. He had definitely overdosed. They needed to get him to the hospital.
"Because ye didn't know. How could ye? We both assumed that Tay-ler's stalker was back in Arizona, as we should have. We couldn't have stopped this, Reid," Ciara assured him, and he sighed.
"I know. I know we couldn't stop this. I don't know if I believe in fate, but I do know that some things are destined to happen. Maybe this was one of those things. But why does the grief have to be so strong?"
"'Grief is a nasty game of feeling the weakest you have ever felt and morphing it into the strongest person you will have to become.'" Ciara quoted, and Reid smiled softly.
"Windgate Lane."
"Yeah. But the reason the grief is so strong is that grief is unspent love. You loved Tay-ler so much, and now that you can't tell her, the love is coming out in the form of grief. But you'll get through this and you'll be all the stronger for it," Ciara said, before sighing. "I feel so much guilt about that day. I keep going back and asking myself what I could have done differently. If I should have let someone else take the lead. Maybe if Ros-si had done it, he would have handed Tay-ler over. I don't know. All I know is that I had a chance and I blew it. And for that, I'm so sorry." Ciara felt a tear roll down her cheek, and suddenly, all the guilt and regret came coming out of her in the form of tears. And then she tried to stop her tears. How could she stop Reid's tears if she was submitting to her own?
Suddenly, she felt two arms wrap around her, and at first she flinched, but then she leaned into Reid. This was the time for her first hug in 20 years. She slowly, but surely, wrapped her arms around Reid, feeling him lay his head on her shoulder, his tear-stained cheeks dampening her shirt. And slowly, she truly let herself cry. She let herself cry over the life they had lost two months ago, the life they could have lost today, and the fact that she was actually hugging another human being for the first time in 20 years. But after a moment, Ciara jumped back, breaking off the hug.
"Reid! We have to get you to the hospital!" she cried, and suddenly, she could feel the panic emanating from him, and she helped him up to his feet, and together, they ran out of the warehouse. On the way to the hospital, she only thought one thing.
I saved a life today.
*************
Morgan waited anxiously for news about Reid. Ciara hadn't told them where she was going or how she knew where to go, but they didn't care. They knew that only Ciara could help Reid, and they knew that she was going to. Reid would listen to Ciara, no matter what she said. They had sent Akilah to drive her wherever she needed to go because they knew that Ciara couldn't drive. Morgan sighed at the thought of the red-haired woman. Why couldn't he get her off of his mind? He knew the rules about inter-bureau fraternization, but yet he couldn't feel allured at the thought of breaking those rules with Akilah. They had already been on three coffee dates, and on every date, his attraction to the fiery red-head only grew stronger. He knew he should get her out of his mind, but he just couldn't.
Finally, Akilah and Ciara came back, without Reid, and for a moment, Morgan's heart plummeted. Had they been too late? Was his Pretty Boy...gone? But then Ciara smiled, a real smile, and the weight on his heart lifted. But where was Reid? That was when Ciara told them that Reid was okay and recovering at the hospital. He had overdosed on Dilaudid but the doctors were confident that they could get the drugs out of his system, and then Reid would have to go to a psych unit. Strauss would for sure be wanting to talk to Hotch about what was going on, but they'd get through it. They got through it the last time this had happened.
"Mor-gan, can I talk to ye? In private?" Ciara suddenly asked him, and he nodded, taking her back to his office.
"What's this about, Ciara?" he asked, but she shook her head, saying she wasn't going to be saying anything until they were safely in his office. They entered the space and he closed the door, and Ciara sighed.
"Mor-gan, A-kilah has a problem." This was about Akilah?
"What kind of problem, Ciara?"
"Remember the day that she came in without her hijab?" Ciara asked, and he nodded his head. He remembered that day well. "Well, the night before that happened, she burned her hijab and stroked the fire with whiskey, before downing the bottle of whiskey. Mor-gan, she never stopped drinking. She has a major drinking problem."
"What?"
"You know that purple water bottle of hers?" Ciara asked, and Morgan nodded. "It never has water in it. It always has alcohol. She really likes vodka and tequila. She's even come up with a whole body care routine to keep the alcohol smell off of her. From eating a peanut butter sandwich at breakfast time to rubbing strong smelling lotion all over herself after every shower. She's got a problem, M0r-gan, and I need ye to help me help her."
"Why do you need my help? Haven't you done anything?" Morgan asked, but then he looked at Ciara. She was a slim, 5' 1" girl. There was no way a drunk Akilah would listen to her.
"She won't listen to me. I keep telling her it's bad for her physical and mental health, but she won't listen to me. She... well, one time she threatened to hit me before she realized what she was doing. She cried herself to sleep that night. Another night when I tried to get her to stop, she broke her bottle over my head. I don't think she remembers that, so don't tell her. The point is, she won't listen to me. But she'll listen to ye, I know she will. Please, I need ye to help her. I need my old roommate back. Please, help me."
"Okay, Ciara. I'll help. Do you know where she'll be tonight?" And as she answered with the bar that Akilah would be drinking at that night, Morgan's head was spinning. They had saved Reid today. Looks like they were also going to save Akilah.
Woah, what's this? Two updates in two days? Yeah, so I just moved and I don't have a job yet so I have a lot of down time. Yeah, I should have gotten a job before I moved, but the job I thought I had lined up wasn't as lined up as I thought it was. But anyway. So a lot happened in that chapter. Who knew that Akilah had a drinking problem? And what do you think of Morgan's point of view for this chapter? What's going to happen when he goes to confront Akilah? And yay, Reid is okay! Did I scare you there for a little bit? Sorry about that. Anyway, that's about all I have for this chapter, so...BYE!
"Moving on doesn't mean you forget about things. It just means you have to accept what's happened and continue living." -Erza Scarlet