Chapter 22: Happy
Listen to the song Part of Me by Katy Perry.
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Love and trust are inseparable, you can't have one without the other.
--Anonymous.
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"No I personally think Taylor Swift is more iconic than Miley Cyrus! The woman can't stay without talking about getting naked or smoking pot for two minutes! While Taylor is just amazing in every way" I argued with Ryan who was sitting across the table.
We were at a pizzeria in the city, the past two weeks into this relationship with Ryan and it couldn't be more perfect. We've been going out alot, he's been sneaking into my room alot, you know the usual.
"Taylor Swift... Well okay fine she's hot, but still not giving up on Miley" he replied shaking his head.
"You're impossible! I wonder how anyone ever dealed with your stupidity in DC" I said rolling my eyes.
"I'm just very loveable" he said smiling brightly.
"Sure you are" I said sarcastically. "Tell me something about your life in DC come to think of it I know nothing about what your life was like back there" I said curiously.
All of a sudden his posture changed his eyes didn't meet mine instead the stared at the empty plate infront of him.
"It was normal I guess. I mean nothing much to tell" he explained as he nervously played with the fork on his plate.
"Come on! No ex-girlfriends? Somebody your current girlfriend could get jealous of?" I asked smiling skeptically.
"Wait is that what we are? Girlfriend and boyfriend?" he asked looking up with a smile on his face.
"I mean I think so? We've been going out for two weeks like almost every night. Unless you think we should take it slow?" I said leaning forward twitching with my cheer leading uniform since I came straight after practice.
"No, no I've been waiting for one of us to actually officiate this!" he chuckled placing his hand on the table as I placed mine in his.
"Also you're supposed to tell me about your ex girlfriend! Don't think I forgot with all your sweet talk!" I narrowed my eyes.
"I only dated one other girl. We just didn't get along that well so we eventually broke up" he lied.
"Oh so I guess there's nothing I should be afraid of" I chucked.
"Other than the girls who chase me in school?" he raised his eyebrows smirking.
"Nobody chases you Ryan get over yourself" I rolled my eyes.
"Shhhh babe you're just jealous! But I assure you I have eyes only for you" he reassured me by squeezing my hand.
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"Did you tell your mom that Elisa is going to be staying here for like a week?" Mark asked as he jumped onto my bed.
"Yes Mark I did" I said as I began to fold my laundered clothes.
"Who's Elisa again?" Cara asked unsure, as she sat down on the chair near my dressing table.
"A friend of ours from rehab" Mark replied enthusiastically.
"Umm Cara I haven't been completely honest with you" I muttered taking a deep breath.
"What do you mean?" she asked.
"Last year after prom I didn't get into a car accident" I said looking up.
"But they said you were crying so much you couldn't see the road clearly" she said.
"Well I reached home safely though I wasn't safe at home, I locked myself in the bathroom" I broke sitting down next to Mark who put his arm around my shoulder to soothe me.
"I went to rehab because I attempted s-suicide" I stuttered as I looked at Cara who had tears in her eyes as she covered her mouth to muffle out the sobs.
"Rave" she whispered as she walked over to me and hugged me tight.
"So wait" she sniffled, "Mark you went because-"
"I also tried to hurt myself, yes. Raven is still more fragile about it though" he said.
"You two are the best, you know that right?" Cara asked hugging us again.
"You too" Mark and I spoke together as we chuckled.
"Am I interrupting something?" my mom poked her head into the room.
"No ma" I replied wiping away my tear.
"Good cause a very eager boy is waiting for you downstairs" she said walking out.
"Zack" Cara said giggling.
The three of us walked out of the room and downstairs to a very eager Zack walking up and down the corridor.
"Car! What are you doing here babe?" he greeted Cara as he pecked her cheek.
"Hanging out with my friends?" she laughed.
"Oh, anyways Rave there's something waiting outside for you" Zack said smiling proudly.
Curiously I walked outside the house only to see my car in all its former glory, like it was brand new. Zack really was the best at this job.
"This is amazing!" I said still in awe.
"Yea well, since there was extra cash I thought why not try accessorising a little. So I threw in a whole new opening roof, so you and your boyfriend can go star gazing and all that" he said smiling sheepishly.
"You're the best!" I said smiling brightly.
"Want to go for a test run?" I heard a voice call out from the other side of my fence. I looked around only to see Ryan standing there and smirking.
"Yea just let me grab my coat!" I chuckled as I ran back inside my house.
"Mom! I'm going out with Ryan!" I shouted.
"Have fun! I'll be leaving for the hospital in a few" she shouted back though I didn't catch a glimpse of her as I hurried back with my coat.
"Yes well it's kind of late and I'd love to be dropped home" Mark made a statement as the Cara agreed with him.
"Either way you're going to have to drop me off with Cara, we have movie night" Zack said.
"We do?" Cara asked surprised.
"As of now we do" Zack replied as he leaned in and kissed his girlfriend.
"And I just want to come with you" Ryan insisted.
"Fine everybody inside!" I called out as we all entered my improved car.
"Zack and Cara first!" I said as I headed towards Cara's house.
"Zack don't forget to be a gentleman" Ryan reminded him as Cara chucked.
"Shut it man!" Zack replied.
"Bye guys" we all bid the two lovebirds farewell and headed to Mark's house.
As we pulled up we saw a very shirtless Daniel watering the garden in the front yard. Damn that guy looked like a snack.
"Doesn't Daniel have school or something?" Ryan asked rolling his eyes.
"It's 9pm in the night Ryan, nobody has school" Mark said raising his eyebrow.
"Sup Stone! Ross!" Daniel spoke coming over.
"It's Ryan, nice to meet you again Damien" Ryan snickered.
Daniel just laughed it off as he and Mark waved us goodbye and I could swear to God he winked at me. But as usual I shrugged it off.
"I swear to God that guy is into you" Ryan mumbled.
"I'm pretty sure that's not true. Plus does it matter cause I'm only into one guy right now" I said sending him a suggestive smirk.
"Your parents aren't home tonight are they?" he asked.
"I don't think they're ever home" I rolled my eyes.
"Yea what is with that?" he asked confused.
"Work. They work at the private hospital really far from home and sure enough that gets them the money but they're never really around you know?" I said with a heave.
"And with my recent panic attacks it's like my dad has never been home, mom comes like thrice a week but to be honest I don't think I've seen my dad for a week or so"
"Hey, you got me okay? Plus I'll talk to Jac-my mom about it and maybe she can figure something out?" he reassured me.
"Can I ask you something?" I asked as I parked the car outside my house.
"Anything" he replied.
"Why do you call Jackie by her name?" I asked hoping he'd tell me the truth.
"Ummm... Cause she isn't my mother. My dad and my real mother had me when they were 18, senior year of high school.
"It wasn't easy for them and when I was born the two of them broke up. My mom decided to keep me while my dad went off to college, to Harvard. I actually lived here, in Boston with her" he said as I caught his hand.
"Back then I went with the name Ryan Yardley West, now I try to blacken out that part of my last name. I actually lived a little bit down the road from here as far as I can remember" he said looking down the road.
"What happened?" I whispered.
"She didn't want me Raven. My own mother didn't want me. She regretted me cause all she ever wanted to do was move to New York and live the life she dreamed to have but lost it the minute I came along" he said angrily.
"Don't say that. You don't know that" I tried to comfort him.
"But I do know that! When I was six, the two of us boarded a plane to New York City. She sold everything back at home just for enough money for a one bedroom apartment in New York, we stayed there a couple of days, more like I stayed there as she looked for job offers. One night she came home it was about half an hour past midnight, she locked the door behind her and I watched as she sat on the ground and cried. She cried her eyes out and I didn't know what I could do to help" he said letting his walls come down.
"You couldn't though, you were only six!" I tried to justify as I pushed his hair out of his face.
"I should've done something but I stood in my spot near the room door and I watched her cry, feeling responsible for that. All this time the only thing I used to get from my dad were Happy Birthday cards.
"Anyways the next day I woke up only to see her packing a bag with all of my clothes in it. She took everything I owned and put it in that bag that had her initials, S.Y. I asked her what she was doing and she told me I would be going for a vacation while she figured stuff out. I was so naive to think she would come back for me" he said looking down.
"My dad was still in New York working in the Senator's office, my mom found out and she dropped me off at his apartment with a letter. I never read the letter, honestly I didn't want to. My dad opened his apartment door and upon seeing me I gave him the letter and he let me in. He knew who I was, mom used to send him Christmas cards. He let me stay but I knew he didn't want me there.
"It sucked to have both your parents hate you, but I survived for the next year. Dad got a job offer in Washington DC that he could not turn down so the two of us moved there. I sent her an email before leaving you know, just in case she wanted to take me back with her, cause I missed her but she didn't reply" he broke as I felt a tear run down my cheek.
"Few weeks after we settled down in DC I realised that dad was becoming a little less grumpier and more happy. Soon enough I met Jackie since she forced him to let her meet me. She was genuinely the most amazing person I had ever met. Soon enough they got married and Jackie got pregnant and then came Amy, she's the best" he smiled by the end.
"She is isn't she?" I replied smiling.
"This whole thing with my mom, it hurt me so bad, I never contacted her after I shifted to DC. I just don't want to ever see her again" he said with finality in his voice.
"Don't say that. I respect your decision but you shouldn't let what she did to you define you" I said smiling reassuringly.
"But you don't understand Rave, it's been so many years but I still don't have it in me to trust anyone because of what she did" he said said leaning against the seat.
"Well you can't just trust someone. You learn to trust people. I trust you Ryan and one day you'll learn to trust me" I said cupping his face in my hand.
Slowly and gently I kissed his cheek and as I pulled away he pulled me back and kissed me. His lips leaving a firey feeling on mine. Never before had I described a kiss to be pure.
Passionate sure, but never this pure.
He claimed me with his touch and never before had I felt so safe in someone's arms. Slowly pulling away I chuckled a bit.
"What?" he smiled back. "What is it?"
"I really like you" I whispered smiling brightly forgetting all my cares in the world.
"Good, cause I like you too" he replied chucking along with me.