Isabel looked around the room that she was stuck in, wishing her friend was there to bail her out this time. But the monster had locked her in before her friend could get to her, so now she was alone. She was going to have to face the monster alone without the girl that could actually fight them. Isabel could get into the monster's head, but that was about it. Maybe she could make a monster to fight the other monster. She looked to see if there was something to fight the monster with when suddenly, she felt something wet and sticky on her hands. She looked down to see blood covering her hands.
**********************
Ciara looked around the round table room, which was a flurry of activity ever since it was revealed that Tayler Bunder was missing. Will had taken both Jack and Henry to watch them so the rest of the team could focus on their duties. Only Ciara and Morgan had actually met Reid's ex-girlfriend, but everyone could see just how much he still cared for her, and they were there to help find her. Ciara was glad she had met Tayler Bunder before the case had turned up, or else she never would have been of much help, due to her hatred of the name. She wouldn't have told them that, of course, as she still hadn't told Reid of it. She would have come up with some lie. Only one person in her life was able to see right through all of her lies, and they weren't currently in the room.
"Okay, Reid, how much of her past do you know?" Hotch asked, and Reid sighed, saying not much. They'd have to get the help of the parents to figure out this case because they knew her past. It was most likely that the stalker was someone from her past, even if Tayler didn't know it. Even if it was someone super insignificant. Either way, they were significant now. But suddenly, it wasn't necessary. Garcia ran into the room, holding two pieces of paper in her hand.
"I think I figured it out! I think I figured it out!" Garcia cried, and her shrill cry made Ciara clamp her hands over her ears. Just because she was moving forward when it came to touch didn't mean that her other senses weren't still extremely sensitive.
"What have you figured out?" Reid asked, desperation in his voice. It had been hours that they were working, and Tayler's parents hadn't gotten any ransom notes or anything to prove that Tayler was still alive. It had been Morgan who had originally suggested that maybe she wasn't, but Rossi had quickly, well, told him to shut up but had used more words. Reid was worried out of his mind and didn't need the possibility that Tayler was dead to cloud his mind. Even when his mind was clouded, it was still as sharp as a tack, but they needed his mind to be as sharp as a blade if they were going to figure this out. Well, once they heard what Garcia had to say.
"Tayler's parents had mentioned that they had kept some of the notes that the stalker sent her just in case they needed proof, so I took those and as I was using my special brand of techy genius to dig in her past, which I'm not very happy about, by the way-"
"By Allah, get to the point!" Akilah suddenly exclaimed, and Garcia looked over at her, a hurt look on her face. Suddenly, fear spread in Ciara's system. Akilah had had her purple water bottle all day. What if she said something to reveal the secret that Ciara had gone to such lengths to keep hidden? Would revealing the secret hurt Ciara, too, or just Akilah? Either way, she wasn't about to let either of them get hurt because Akilah couldn't keep her mouth shut.
"Sorry, I got a little sidetracked. Anyway, I was searching through her past, and she had posted a picture of her job offer letter on Twitter. It was a hand-written letter, which I thought was weird, so I compared the two, and..." Reid then took the picture of the letter that Garcia had printed off, and laid it and the note side by side, carefully studying the two.
"The handwriting is identical."
"Who signed the letter?"
"Braeden Todd. And yes, I already looked him up. He's the personnel director of the branch of the publishing company that Tayler worked for. Basically, he's the one with all of the hiring and firing power. So, here's the real question: did he start stalking her before or after he hired her?" Garcia wondered, and Hotch spoke up.
"It doesn't matter now. Now what matters is finding Braeden Todd and figuring out if Tayler is still alive," Hotch said, and everyone went into activity, including Garcia, who ran back to her little tech cave, immediately setting up a video chat with the round table room. But that was where everyone got stumped. No one could figure out where in D.C. Braeden took Tayler, or if they were even still in D.C., seeing as both of them had ties only in Arizona. Ciara looked over the file again and again, trying to figure out what they were missing. There had to be something! They had thoroughly scoured through the pasts and ties in both Tayler's life and Tayler's parent's lives, so who else was there who could possibly have any idea where Tayler could be? Unless...
"Gar-cia, what about Tay-ler's extended family? I know that Tay-ler is an only child, but what about cousins or aunts or uncles or something like that?" Ciara asked, hoping that there wouldn't be an answer. She hoped to God that she wasn't related to him...
"She does! She has a cousin, James Bunder, and he has an apartment in the city! I'm sending the address to you now," Garcia said, and Ciara sucked in a breath.
HE HAS AN APARTMENT IN THE CITY! Marina screamed at her, and Ciara felt her breath catch in her throat. No, no, no, not now!
"Ciara, are you alright?"
"Yes, yes I'm fine. Let's go see if James has any information," Ciara suggested, and they all agreed. Except Ciara didn't want to go. She knew she couldn't come face-to-face with James Bunder. If she had to pick her biggest fear, James Bunder would be it. But she couldn't let the rest of the team know that. She wouldn't let the rest of the team know that. Even the one person she trusted with her life didn't know about James Bunder. She had to face this, but facing this was giving her one hell of a panic attack.
"Are you sure you're okay?"
"Yes, Reid, I'm okay. I promise," Ciara answered him, and though she couldn't be sure that he believed that she was really okay, he didn't ask any more about it. Ciara was used to hiding her panic, so while her heart raced and her palms sweated and her mind screamed at her and she struggled to keep her breath steady, she kept a cool face and didn't let anyone else know. Even Akilah, who could usually see somewhat through her, didn't notice that her friend and partner was lost in her panic. Ciara wasn't sure if she felt relieved or betrayed by that.
They came to the apartment, and Ciara's heart was racing so quickly that she thought it was going to beat out of her chest. But then she felt Reid's hand on her shoulder, squeezing gently. He knew she wasn't okay, but he wasn't going to ask why she wasn't okay. He was just going to nonverbally tell her that it was okay. And that's what she needed. She needed someone to somehow tell her it was going to be okay, even if she knew it was a big fat lie. She needed someone to touch and comfort her, even if she wasn't ready for a hug. She didn't realize just how much a human being needed to be touched until she had finally allowed herself to touch. And now she couldn't imagine going back to the fortress she was before. Reid was slowly breaking down her walls, and Ciara wasn't sure if she should stop it or not.
Nobody answered the door, and for that, she was thankful. But then they heard a scream. Tayler's scream. They all stepped back and let Morgan kick down the door, and Ciara took in a deep breath as she entered the apartment without a weapon. She still hadn't passed the firearms qualification test, so she still had to go without a weapon. Damn her and her inability to properly shoot a gun. Why couldn't she hold a gun without her hands shaking? Why couldn't she shoot a bullet without seeing blood come out of the spot where the bullet landed, every single time? She had an inkling of an idea, but she had no clue if her inkling was correct. And if it was, she had no clue how to fix it.
They looked all around the apartment, but there was nobody there. They weren't sure where to go until Ciara noticed that the window was open. She went over, and saw that there was a ladder. The fire escape? Where did it go? She called the rest of the team over and started to go up the ladder. She saw then that it went up to the roof. She called the information down to the rest of the team, before continuing her ascent. The rest of the team wasn't far behind her as she finally got to the top. That's when she saw it. Braeden had Tayler pulled to his side at the edge of the roof, a gun to her head.
"Let her go, Brae-den. Ye don't want to do this," Ciara said, but she knew that he wouldn't listen to her. A woman barely above five foot who could barely look up from the ground? Who would listen to her?
"I can't do that. She rejected me. I asked her out on a date and she rejected me because she said she had feelings for another. Do you understand why I asked you, of all people, out, Tayler? Because I have a thing for writers. They can write any story they want, but since all of the writers at our agency are taken, the top editor would just have to do. But then you went and rejected me. Do you understand that if I can't have you, nobody can?" he said to Tayler, and then something popped into Ciara's mind. She was a writer. Not only was she a writer, but she the famous Isabel Ashe. If that wasn't desirable to him, then nothing would be.
"I'm a writer, Braeden."
"What? You are?" Braeden asked, and Ciara forced herself to smile.
"I am. Don't ye know who I am?" she asked, and she heard Reid just behind her, asking what the hell she was doing. She waved him off just as Braeden asked if he should recognize her. "I'm Is-abel Ashe."
"Y-You're... You're Isabel Ashe?" Braeden stuttered, and Ciara nodded. She could see the desire growing on his face. She knew this man would keep her secret, as he wouldn't be around anyone to tell.
"I am. And I'm going to offer you a deal. Me for her," Ciara offered.
"No, Ciara, don't do it!" Reid exclaimed, but she shushed him with a wave of her hand.
"That's an offer I will take gladly. I'd take Isabel Ashe over Tayler Bunder any day," Braeden said, and Ciara forced another smile on her face.
"Good, good. Now, put the gun down, and let her go, and I'll walk over to ye, slowly," Ciara instructed, and Braeden lowered the gun but didn't let her go.
"Start walking over here and I'll let her go," he said, and Ciara nodded, knowing that there would be no other way this would go down. She had to do what he said, or he'd never let Tayler go. What she was going to do after he let Tayler go and had her, she had no clue. She just decided to wing it after that. She started to walk over, but she was suddenly stopped by someone grabbing her hand. She looked back to see that it was Reid.
"Let me go," she whispered, and Reid shook his head.
"I can't. I can't let you go."
"If ye want Tay-ler back, this is the only way."
"Ciara, I-" he started to say, but then stopped. She asked him to continue, but he didn't. He instead let go of her hand, and she walked over to Braeden and Tayler. Braeden looked at her, before pointing the gun at her.
"You idiot. Do you really think I believed you were Isabel Ashe? Isabel Ashe would never give away her identity like that," Braeden said, and next thing Ciara knew, a gunshot resounded on the rooftop.
"CIARA!" Reid cried, and at first, Ciara felt nothing. But then she felt everything. She felt a fire start in her stomach and felt blood dripping down her shirt. She looked down to see a hole in her shirt where the blood was seeping out. He had shot her, but not only had he shot her, but he hadn't let Tayler go. But that didn't matter. When Braeden started laughing at having shot Ciara, Tayler broke free of his grasp and started to run towards the group. She never made it. Ciara saw Braeden raise the gun again, and she cried out.
"TAY-LER, GET DOWN!" she cried, but Tayler didn't listen to her. She instead turned around just as she reached Ciara and another gunshot rang through the air. Ciara heard it hit something, and she waited for something else of hers to start hurting, but it didn't. She looked over and saw that Tayler's eyes were wide open her mouth agape, and she looked down to see that a red spot was blooming on her chest. Ciara's eyes widened, and despite the pain in her stomach, she caught Tayler as she fell. She felt blood coating her hands, but it wasn't her own. She had Tayler's blood on her hands, both literally and metaphorically. If she hadn't messed up with Braeden, Tayler might not have been shot. Both of them might not have been shot.
Ciara looked down to see that Tayler wasn't breathing. She had already died. She had died at the hands of the man who made her dream come true. Tayler Bunder died at the hands of Braeden Todd. Speaking of Braeden, Ciara looked just in time to see him lean back and fall off the roof. Morgan and Hotch went straight over to where he was standing, looking off the roof. The rest of the team went straight over to her and tried to pull her away from Tayler's body, but she wouldn't let go. Tears were running down her face, both from the pain still erupting from her stomach and from the feeling of failure. Reid crouched down next to them, grief written all over his face. He still loved Tayler.
"I'm so sorry, Reid. I failed ye. I failed ye."
*****************
You can't do this. They'd all hate you if you did.
Reid looked at himself in the mirror, still dressed in his black suit from Tayler's funeral. It had been short and to the point, but it still hurt him extremely. He had still loved Tayler as much as he did when they were dating. Ciara had been unable to show up as she was still in the hospital from her gunshot wound. She would get discharged any day now, but Reid wouldn't be able to see her anytime soon. He was taking some time off to grieve over Tayler, and she was being forced to take time off to heal from her wound. Just when he needed her the most, it seemed he wouldn't be able to have her by his side. On the rooftop, he had been about to tell her just how much he cared for her, but then he remembered how one-sided it would be. She would never understand.
He looked down at the bottle that was in his hand. It was a bottle of Dilaudid, and he was trying his hardest to not put it in a syringe and stick the needle in his arm. It would take the pain away, he knew that, but he also knew that if he did it once, he'd undo years of sobriety, and he'd be unable to resist the second and third and fourth times. He'd be unable to resist every time after the first. So of course he couldn't do it. So then why couldn't he bring himself to put the bottle away? Why couldn't he throw the poison away?
He needed Ciara. He needed Ciara, but she was in the hospital, and visiting hours were over. He needed her to comfort him, but he couldn't have that. So while the comfort of everyone else on the team was nice, it just wasn't enough. He needed Ciara. But he couldn't have that, so instead, he stuck the needle into the cap of the Dilaudid and started to fill the syringe with the drug. His entire team would hate him if they found out that he relapsed, but he couldn't help it. He had to have some relief from his grief, and this was the only way he knew how at that moment.
It took him a minute to decide if he actually wanted to do it, but after that minute, the grief was hitting him so strong that he had to. Slowly, he inserted the needle into his skin and emptied the syringe. As he felt the grief wan and felt himself drift off, only one thought crossed his mind.
I hate myself.
Okay, so a lot went down in this chapter. Tayler died, Ciara got shot, and Reid got back on Dilaudid. I am so, so sorry about everything that happened in this chapter. But the question is, who is James Bunder, and why is Ciara so scared of him? Are we finally going to get a true glimpse into Ciara's past, or will this be last we ever hear of James Bunder? And, also, not to add onto anymore of the emotion that is in this chapter, but I've looked at my outline, and it looks like we have less than ten chapters left of Psychosis! I'm not crying, you're crying. Anyway, I don't have anything else for this chapter, so... BYE!
"Grief, I've learned, is really love. It's all the love you want to give but cannot give. All of that unspent love gathers up in the corners of your eyes, the lump in your throat, and in that hollow part of your chest. Grief is just love with no place to go." -Jamie Anderson