★彡 TWENTY 彡★
A MULTITUDE OF EMOTIONS SLAMMED ELIJAH LIKE A TIDAL WAVE— nostalgia, heartache, exhilaration, yet one stood out amongst them and it was longing, his whole body buzzed with the burning eagerness he felt from the past three years he craved for Freddie's touch. He felt like a dehydrated man in a desert finally drinking water once again. It was revitalizing for him, the loneliness that encumbered his heart eventually dissipated and he felt free and satisfied. Desire rushed through him for miles but he disregarded it in favor of staring directly into Freddie's eyes, the soul of his beautiful essence and Elijah's heart skipped a beat unknowingly.
Freddie's dark brown orbs were still the same but there was a lingering sadness beneath his eyes Elijah yearned to get rid of— he knew it was his fault why melancholy surrounded the man he loves and he'd do anything to bring back the joyful and worry-free man, his love, once more. Elijah resisted the urge to groan when Freddie removed his hands from his and took a step back, seemingly shrinking into himself and a suspiciously self-conscious expression made its way on his face. A cough alerted Elijah and he lost eye contact with the man as he turned and stared at Brian, "While it's nice to see you two reunited, won't you give us a hug?" Said male joked and Elijah grinned, returning his open arms with an own embrace.
"You bloody twat, you didn't even tell us you're coming back here," Roger trained an admonished look towards Elijah who only gave a sheepish smile in return. His unimpressed countenance slowly turned into a grin and he placed the glass of beer he was holding and opening his arms, "Oh come here, prat." Elijah shot out his middle finger before hugging the man as well. "For the record, I'm not a prat, Roger." He replied cheekily. Roger snorted in disbelief before releasing his clutch to Elijah, who immediately sat besides John.
Freddie picked up his glass of vodka and flopped down the couch, nearly spilling the contents to Brian and laughing, making Elijah grin in amusement, his twinkling-like snickers causing Freddie's cheek to flush red. Freddie coughed embarrassedly and avoided Elijah's gaze. John nudged Elijah and he glanced at the bassist who had a knowing look on his face. He leaned in and whispered, "Freddie 'doesn't' like you huh? You're truly a prat."
"Oh shut up, Deaks." Elijah whispered back and John huffed, a smirk forming on his face and they were in silence until Roger coughed, curiosity coating his tone, "What was that about? And that just reminds me, how'd you even know Elijah's coming home?" Elijah choked on his own spit, whilst Freddie leaned forward not-so-subtly, even though he hasn't spoken a word since he and Elijah hugged. Brian added, "Yeah. I'm curious too. Are you two keeping something? Do you guys have a secret or what?" He questioned suspiciously and John opened his mouth to reply before Elijah interrupted him.
"No, no! You guys know how much I'm close with Deaks, and he decided to pick me up even though I told him it's not necessary." Elijah tried to explain but Roger sneakily cut him off, "So that means you told him about you coming back and not us?"
"And what about it?" John interfered, crossing his arms and inclining his head back delicately. He raised his eyebrow as if to challenge Roger who glared jokingly at him. Brian clapped his hands loudly, a 'father-like' aura replacing his chill one, "Alright! You two stop arguing, Elijah just came back after three years and I'm not having you two start a fight like children." He reprimanded, curls moving around as he shook his head.
"Okay, 'dad'." Roger and John sassed in unison and Elijah simpered amusedly. He won't deny that he missed this so much— Queen became a family to him, and vice versa. Remembering how much he used to spend time with them and helping them on recording studios revived a strong feeling of inspiration and he was reminded of the time Queen released Just A Little Bit of Your Heart after he recorded his voice and left the country.
He recalled how much he broke down the first week of hearing it on loop, and how much fans clamoured for a live performance of him and Queen— especially Freddie singing Just A Little Bit of Your Heart. He remembered crying so much to the point of being dehydrated every time he listened to how well his and Freddie's voice mixed together. Brian did an amazing job blending their voices to sound balanced. The way Freddie sang and his own echoing throughout the chorus made people talk about it for months, begging for another collaboration and that sparked multiple ideas inside Elijah's mind and since then, he has written tons of songs for Queen to hear and maybe accept his offer of a second collaboration.
Maybe next time. He thought, maybe when Freddie and I are doing alright. Maybe when we're on speaking terms once again, maybe never. Who knows? He included internally. Maybe the songs he wrote for Queen would never be released, just like the other songs he have which got unapproved from the company, causing it to become unreleased. He never knew what would happen nowadays. Elijah was just content in the fact that people still appreciate the music he performs.
"How have you been these past few years though, Elijah?" Brian asked, encouraging the man to speak up. Freddie stayed silent, looking down and gulping an unhealthy amount of alcohol each time Elijah was mentioned. Elijah glanced at him and bit his lip, suppressing the worry he had for the man when Roger saw him and just waved his hand, mouthing that 'it's fine and Freddie won't get drunk because he's used to it' which increased the agitation Elijah was feeling but he crushed it metaphorically. No use to voicing out his concern if Freddie was fine. John placed a comforting hand on his knee subtly.
There were few people in Freddie's mansion now Elijah observed once he took note of their surroundings, he glanced at the time and noticed it was getting late. That must be why he remarked before responding to Brian's question out loud, "I've been fine. I'm not going to lie— I felt homesick for a few months, both Japan and Switzerland are really different. I was overwhelmed most of the time, but I'm better now. I'll actually take a break for a few months, maybe even a year. So I'll be staying here indefinitely." He announced the last part quite loudly, although he didn't notice that Freddie perked up when he heard what Elijah stated.
"That's great, Eli! You can come by our recording studio any time, we missed having your opinion on our songs." Brian replied with a grin, deliberately peeking at Freddie's form before swivelling back. "Ooh thanks Brian. I actually have some songs for you guys to listen to, I was wondering if we can collaborate once again? You know, because Just A Little Bit of Your Heart received some positive critics," Elijah proposed hesitantly but a sigh of release escaped him when Brian, Roger and John nodded happily. "I can't believe you didn't tell me about that," John uttered.
"That would be amazing, Elijah! You should ask Freddie though," Roger annoyingly pointed his finger to Freddie, who straightened up hearing Roger allude to him. Elijah swallowed the increasing anxiety he felt as time passed by and stared into Freddie's face to face, "F-Freddie? If it's fine with you," Elijah trailed off, cursing himself inside his mind when he stuttered palpably. He also resisted the temptation to cuss Roger when an annoying smug smile stayed on his face during the duration of Elijah's query.
"It's perfectly fine with me." Freddie replied quietly and Brian immediately moved to a new topic, "Since Roger decided to be a little shit, I'll be asking you instead. Did you meet any new friends while staying there? And I just want to know."
"What he means by new friends is if you found a girlfriend or boyfriend while you were there." Roger bluntly jerked in, ignoring the spank on the arm Brian gave him for telling that straightforwardly. John smacked the palm of his hand on his forehead, glaring straight at the ceiling as if that would help the uncomfortable situation they're facing now because of what he said.
Elijah remained speechless, staring open-mouthed at the drummer who simply didn't care. His cheeks blushed intensely and he looked for a sentence that would justify he would never find anybody else like Freddie but it appeared that Freddie found his blush the answer to Roger's question and he stood up, walking away without any word, climbing upstairs and the loud slam of a door made the four consecutively flinch.
"Look what you fucking did, Roger!" Brian hissed, cuffing the drummer who cursed loudly when he hit him particularly harsh in a weak spot. "Am I wrong though? Why does Freddie need to act so overdramatic when he had one night stands too— motherfucker!" Roger complained. "Because he's a little hysterical drama queen, Roger. What do you expect?" John sassed back. "That just proves my point," Roger replied.
Elijah subdued the hurt he felt when his suspicions were confirmed, he didn't believe the tabloids but hearing it from someone who knew Freddie well was enough for him to strengthen his resolve. It wasn't his right to get mad or even hurt, they weren't together after all and it would just be ridiculous for him to get angry at the man when Freddie would do anything he wants if he wish to. Elijah wanted to be irrational, but he couldn't. The love he felt for his once lover overpowered any other emotions easily. He coughed and answered, "To answer your question, Rog. No, I didn't find anyone. Or even one-night stands. How could I when I'm still in love with Freddie?" He retorted without any shame, finally accepting his own feelings and relishing in the shocked expressions that made their way onto Brian and Roger's faces. John merely let out a loud snort and slapping him playfully, "I knew it, Elijah. Thank fucking god you finally admitted it again."
He wasn't lying. He was still in love with Freddie. Maybe it even increased over the course of three years. But there was no use in denying it anymore. I'm still into you, Freddie. Elijah heaved out a sigh and forced a smile. Roger winced, "I'm sorry for my tactlessness, Elijah."
"It's alright." Elijah let out a wry smile and Brian snorted, "You never have tact, Roger. Remember the time you got slapped by a girl because you told her she looked pretty and insinuated that you wanted to have sex with her then proceeded to ask for her number? You're shit, Rog." Brian recalled and John grinned. Roger choked on his beer and whined, "Can you stop sharing that story to everyone? I know, Brian. I've learned my lesson, do you see me still asking out girls that way now? No. So shut it, you ass."
That lightened the mood easily even though a small hint of darkness covered them, but Elijah paid no attention to it. He opened his mouth and was about to speak up before Brian cut him off once more, "If you're still in love with Freddie, you should tell him, Elijah. Before it's too late," he warned yet Elijah simply shook his head frantically, flailing his arms.
"It's too early, it's too soon, Brian. I know I'm in love with him but I don't want to rush it. Remember how our relationship went? It was too fast and it caused a lot of mishaps along the way. What I want to happen is we'll get to know each other again and forget our bad past, if he still loves me that way." Elijah added the last past, disregarding Roger's quiet scoff and muttering, "It's been three years and he'd definitely accept that in a heartbeat, you idiot."
"Why don't you tell him that now then?" Brian curiously countered without any malice on his tone. He was genuinely confused and John answered for him, "He's too afraid, Bri. But I've been telling him since forever, that he has nothing to be scared for because Freddie may be a drama queen but he'd never hurt anyone with his words. He's too nice for that." John said, though it was mostly directed towards Elijah, "You three really want me to talk to him right now?"
"Hell yes." The three said in unison and Elijah sighed in defeat. Seeing the look on his face, John decided to word himself properly, "I'm not telling you to talk about closure or anything. Hell, we're not even talking about you confessing your feelings again. We know it's too soon but it's been three years and don't you think you deserve to be able to talk to him again? Even as friends?"
"That might be the longest sentence I've ever heard you speak out in my entire duration of knowing you, Deaky." Roger teased although he was agreeing with what their bassist said. "I hate to agree with Deaky but he's right. Just talk to him as friends, we're not pushing you to become lovers with him now. But I do hell know Fred deserves to be able to talk to you in private as well." He told the man forthrightly.
"Truer words can never be spoken. Also, I can't believe you out of all people would say that, Roger." Brian laughingly voiced out. "Fuck off, Brian. What the hell are you even implying?"
Brian raised his arms in defence and speaking out, "Nothing, nothing." He winked before looking at Elijah, "So? What's your call, Elijah?"
"Fine, I'll talk to him." Elijah declared, almost mourningly. John, Brian, and Roger let out triumphant smiles and Roger even pumped his fist in celebration. "Finally, Jesus Christ. I almost died." Roger over-exaggeratedly announced and Brian mouthed, "And they say Freddie's the dramatic one."
"Where's his room by the way? This house is too big for me, I might get lost."
"It's not just any big house, this is a fucking mansion, Elijah." Roger commented, making the three nod in agreement. "Seriously, I have no fucking idea why Freddie decided to buy such a massive house when it's always usually empty because he stays at the recording studio anyway. Maybe with you here, the house will finally feel like home." Roger teased.
"Shut up, Roger. Let's not distract Elijah any longer; His room's upstairs— the second door in the right side with a particular maroon floor mat in front of it, you won't miss it because Romeo usually stays by the door of his room." Just as Brian was talking about it, Elijah was already standing up, although leisurely. His heart was racing quick but it would make him a pussy if he doesn't talk to Freddie now. And Freddie deserves better than him acting cowardly. The mention of Romeo's name made him feel settled. Besides longing for Freddie, he missed Freddie's cats a lot more than he should. And he's just electrified, knowing he'd be able to spend time with his cats one more time. If Freddie accepts.
"Good luck, Elijah!" He heard Roger call out and he waved his hand, "Thanks! I need it a lot!"
Time to face the music.
♚
author's note!
I'm so sorry for the late update 😭 this week has just been hell and I'm not even finished with my school projects yet. I decided to update this first before doing that LMAO priorities~
Cliffhanger too ;) you guys will see TONS of Frelijah/Nixcury content in the next chapter though 😌 I'm not saying it's all going to be fluff but it's not going to be as heavy-hearted as my other chapters... I hope.
It's also the Oscars tomorrow and I'm fucking mad because my country will not air the show here so if you guys know any free streaming sites for me to watch it (BECAUSE I REALLY WANT TO SEE QUEEN OPEN THE SHOW) please send me some! I really need it. Please 🥺 I'm begging AAAAA (I also can't wait to get more content from the cast and post Tear in My Heart's chapter for it oof)
Lastly, I'll also be publishing my Rami fic, so stay tuned!