~Every time I close my eyes, it's like a dark paradise
No one compares to you
I'm scared that you won't be waiting on the other side
Every time I close my eyes it's like a dark paradise
The show was a huge hit. Everyone seemed to like my designs. I was in the back thanking everyone for the great job. Nana and Zayn and everyone else were back in my hotel since the party would be held on the roof. When I made sure I thanks everyone I left.
I was hoping to see Harry, maybe a glance but he was no where.
The chilly night air hit my exposed skin, it wasn't that cold but I could feel the air whipping around.
"You did great." A deep voice said, I couldn't help but smile since I knew that voice all to well.
I turned around to see his green eyes starting down at me.
"Thanks." I replied.
"Are you heading back to the party on the roof?" He asked.
"Yea, are you coming?" I asked him.
"Do you want me to?" He questioned.
"Harry you are more then welcomed to come." I answered.
"That didn't answer my question. Do you want me there?" He asked, his tone of voice changed slightly, the playfulness disappeared, and he sounded a bit more dark. I took a step back but he followed.
"I-I yea." I answered him.
"You don't seem so sure." He said, something about him changed, and I feared it.
"Well I ummm I have to go. Zayn and my nana are waiting for me." I quickly said and tried to walk around him. But he was quick and grabbed on to my wrist, he turned me around and pulled me to his chest.
"Awwww Zayn, the little artist right?" Harry said. The way he said Zayns voice was of pure disgust.
"Yes now please let me go." I said struggling in his arms.
"That's just the thing Bel. I can't let you go. No matter how hard I try you find a way in my mind. You're like a tattoo, a tattoo that's in my mind. Maybe one of my favorite tattoos." He said loosening his grip on me, but I didn't back away. I couldn't. Even at a moment like this, I still felt some type of way towards Harry. He let me go completely, and I could feel his pain. I could feel this type of darkness swallow, him.
I couldn't watch this happen to him, I couldn't be the cause either. I've gotten out of that darkness, it took years but I did. I wouldn't let Harry fall that deep.
Slowly I wrapped my hands around his torso and pulled him to me. He was shocked at first but he soon wrapped around his arms around me, tightly as if I might disappear from his grasp.
"I'm not saying it's going to be easy but I am saying it will be worth it Bel. I just need more time with you." Harry mumbled in to my head, but I heard him loud and clear. "You add light in to my little dark paradise." He whispered. I held on to him tighter, I couldn't make him a promise I couldn't keep. There was no avoiding that I had to go back to Paris. London was great but Paris will always be home for me. And this was home for him.
"Harry I-I can't stay. I leave in two days. After that well I'm assuming I'll travel a bit. Ethan said I was expected to go to America to get more noticed. I have things I have to settle there as you know with my family. I can't stay." I whispered.
"I know, and it kills me that you'll move on and forget about me." Harry said. His voice sounded so broken and it killed me. But I knew what I was about to say was a promise I could make.
"I promise that while I'm gone I won't forget you. I couldn't even if I tried." I assured him, I backed up a little to look in to his eyes, he forced a smile on his lips.
"You'll meet some one who you'll love and I'll never stand a chance." He stated, his eyes began to water a bit.
"No I won't Harry. Because I doubt any one I'll meet will stand a chance to a guy like you. Plus we have a story, it's not about the end right? We haven't even reached our end yet, our story has just began." I said remembering the note he placed in the flowers. I pulled him down and kissed him, my arms wrapped around his neck and I pulled him as close as I possibly could. Harry pulled my by my waist, our lips moving in sync.
Harry would never leave my mind, in a way he was like my first tattoo.
"You promise?" He mumble against my lips.
"I promise. Do you?" I questioned.
"Babe you're not going anywhere, you're staying up there. I'll be waiting for when you come back to me." Harry said pulling away. "Here let's go to the party, I'm not leaving your side until I have to." Harry said. I know right now it was easier said then done. I didn't want to wake up from this tonight. Right now we were both happy, but once I'd leave it would get hard for both of us. And now everything I'd dream he'd be there hunting my dreams. Because every time I'd close my eyes it'd be like a dark paradise.
*********************
Harry kept to his word and never left my side in those two days. But my time in London was up. I don't know what I'd miss more. My friends here, or the routine I have gotten so used to. Or maybe it was Harry that I'd miss the most. Saying good bye to him was hard. Harder then I thought it would be.
A few tears were shed, but I'd come back to him sooner or later.
But I feared that when I did come back everything would be different. We were now thousands and thousands miles apart. I don't know if I feared him moving on, then maybe I'd move on. What if I did fall for someone else? I could not break my promise made to Harry. I was foolish to make such a promise. One that I knew for sure I might not be able to keep.
But I would have to try and keep it for him. But would he keep his? There is so much that could go wrong for both of us. We will both end up suffering.
But sometimes things fall apart so better things could fall together.
We are young and stupid and we made a promise at the heat of the moment. We were speaking words that not even we knew what impact they'd have on us. We were talking loads of crap. Things that if we thought about we wouldn't have said. But we did.
And I just noticed that sometimes silence is better then bullshit.