For a few more hours, we just sat in my room and cheated at cards. The sad part was that Michael hadn't even noticed that I pretty much stole his friend for the night. He was busy hitting on Sophie's classmates, and I wasn't quite sure why he invited Austin, exactly. In any event, I was just happy to have him there with me. Something about the way he spoke soothed my worries. He was wearing me down bit by bit, like a block of wood being sanded. Little daytime problems disappeared when we were together, and I didn't think that was something I'd ever want to let go of. When your whole life is comprised of trivial, grating things, you tend to cling to treasure when it finds it's way into your life.
So we just sat together talking and being idiots, but in a fun way. I had no idea what was on for tonight, but I was so ready to get out of the house.
At around 11:45, the house pretty much cleared out, and Austin left so Michael wouldn't think he had disappeared or anything. Excited and happy, we waited until my brother fell asleep, then crept up the stairs.
Sneaking around with Austin didn't make me feel guilty at all, actually. Because I knew he was better than them in so many ways. He made me feel good about myself. The kitchen was dark, so I felt my way to the door, Austin following, and slipped outside into the blackness. He inched the door shut, and we high-fived once it was closed. Giddy, we ran out to his car.
"Let's go rollerblading," I said, and he looked over at me.
"And then ice cream," he added, grinning. The camera hung around my neck by the straps, bouncing against my chest as I got into the passenger seat. "You wanna drive?" he offered.
"No thanks," I was still wary of it, because we both knew I wasn't the greatest driver. He jingled the keys and grinned.
"Suit yourself," he shrugged, getting in and starting the car. Our bodies felt warm, and the breath in my throat was strained. His lips moved as he spoke, but all I could understand was way they pressed together, pulled apart, smiled. Entranced, I only tried to tear my eyes away from his glorious form.
"I'm not awesome at rollerblading," he mentioned.
"You're good at everything," I protested, looking out the window at the streetlights that passed us by. They were so blurry, little smears of yellow amongst the black.
"That's not true," he grinned.
"I think it is," I argued.
"You're so stubborn." He rolled his eyes.
"No, I'm not," I said, just for the hell of it. His amused look darted over to me, taking in my arms folded over my chest in a closed-off, stubborn way. Quickly, he brushed under my chin with his thumb, a fleeting and oddly intimate gesture. Feelings swelled in my chest, and I grinned. Big, emotional words flowed in my mouth, swirling around and begging to be set free. Utterly aware of how that would go, I clamped my lips together, just content with his friendly touches and words.
"Whatever," I mumbled happily, trying to seem chill.
"What did you dream about last night?" he asked randomly. I furrowed my eyebrows.
"Why?" I chuckled. His mind was so scattered at times.
"I wanna see if we have a psychic connection," he said, laughing at my confusion. I was unsure how serious he was, but answered anyways.
"I don't really have dreams." I shrugged. His expression was pitying.
"That sucks," he said, genuinely sorry. "I dream about all kinds of weird stuff."
"Like what?" I indulged, feeling warm in the darkness. The headlights cast an alien bright glow on the road ahead of us, and my eyes followed as it skimmed over each rock of the street surface. He averted his eyes, driving with one hand on the wheel and the other resting on the center console.
"I dunno." That, to me, was a very strangely un-Austin response.
"Tell me." I protested, leaning forward on my seat. Was it weird that now I needed to know what went on in his head while he slept so peacefully? The anticipation was killing me.
"I have a lot of dreams about you," he mumbled, and my face went red. I think you misunderstood me; I didn't say that my face blushed, I said it went crimson, blood red.
"W-what do you mean?" My breath caught in my throat, and now we both sat in embarrassed air.
"I dunno," he said again, shrugging. "I just dream about the things we do, and stuff that we might do later. My life pretty much revolves around our adventures." For a moment, it was completely out of my control. My hand reached out and squeezed his, interlocking on the console between us. And nothing was said. All I could feel in the car was the agreement between us: our life at night was much better than at day.
"I suck at rollerblading, too," I said after a while, and he grinned. Desperately afraid that my nervous fingers would sweat, I felt my heart thud. We were so casually holding hands, and my stomach was a total wreck, rolling in waves on the inside.
"That's okay. We can humiliate ourselves together," he said softly. The air felt heavy all around me, and I quickly let go. Shaking the thoughts away from my head, I tried to put myself back together. Nodding, I just hummed in agreement, distancing myself. I knew, somehow, there was no way for me to keep everything in forever.
For a while, the car was comfortably silent, only allowing our breathing and the grumble of the engine. It sounded like it was trying to speak to us, to anything, a constant hum. Austin moved his right hand back to the wheel, gripping it lightly and staring at the road. His mouth kept opening and closing, like a fish out of water, and I just held my knees to my chest. There was so much self-doubt inside of me, and I wished that I could be brave more often. I wished I could tell him everything. Maybe I can. No, that was a terrible idea and I knew it.
There was a small part of me, though, that felt I could tell Austin anything. He was always so understanding, and it might've felt good to get things off my chest. For the rest of the ride there, I thought about it, just pondering what could happen.
When the car stopped, we both sat there for a moment, staring at building in front of us. Austin looked over at me, smiling as usual. He got out of the car, the door clicking shut behind him, and I followed helplessly. We walked in, and I grinned immediately. No matter what would happen, childish antics could always be fun. Rollerblading was something I hadn't done in years.
"Sit here. I'll get us skates." He smiled. "What size shoe do you wear?"
"9," I responded, staring at the hundred bodies zooming around the rink. It was dimly lit, with colored beams of light. Pop music played over the speakers, and I observed the crowd. So many teenagers filled the room, some at tables and making out, others holding hands and skating, or just in a group of friends. It was darker and just a little smokey in here, and I watched as a boy and girl skated expertly around the bend of the round, oval shaped rink, giggling and holding hands. It made me sad, deep in the pit of my stomach, but I tried to perk back up as Austin approached with two pairs of skates. His were much larger than mine, and I felt slightly embarrassed. Shoving my feet into them, I stared at the ground and wondered on things.
"You okay? You're being kinda weird," he remarked, sitting next to me at the round table. I shrugged, nodding. "Awe, don't get all quiet on me now," he teased.
"I won't," I promised, standing up. My legs were wobbly. "This is a terrible idea," I said quickly, hanging onto the edge of the table for extra support. He grinned, standing with me and watching as I tried to steady myself. He picked up my camera, which I'd placed on the table, and snapped a photo of one awkward, skate-clad Alan.
"Damn it, Austin," I sighed, looking at his amused expression.
"C'mon, you baby," he taunted.
"I'm not a baby," I protested, watching him slip into the ring, gripping the handrail.
"Oh yeah?" He grinned. All but challenged, I released the side of the table and skated over into the rink haphazardly, trying not to fall. He laughed.
"Don't laugh at me," I said sullenly. People zipped past us, our idle place by the entrance. He stood, tall and handsome, and smiled down on me. It felt like there was a fire burning in my throat as I watched him outstretch his hands to me in invitation. Cautiously, I gripped his hands with mine, trying I stand as erect as I could without falling over. I had little to no balance in any situation, but more so now with the wheels under my feet. Austin was better than me, as predicted, and skated back, pulling me toward him.
"See? Not so hard." He smiled triumphantly. My eyes stayed glued to his in amusement, and I moved my feet along, getting the hang of it. People skated past quickly, our slow moving pace keep hold of us. My heart leapt up into my throat as he watched me, and I felt like something was melting inside of me. How in the world had I dug myself so deep with this one? I wondered as he pulled me faster, turning around to look behind himself every so often, then continuing to pull me along. His eyes danced and lips grinned as I started moving for myself. One hand let go, and he faced forwards, skating along side me. Suddenly, though, I was much more clumsy. My left leg kept veering off, and I clutched his fingers, squealing as it got away from me. He shoved his arms out and gripped my hips, intimately close and holding me up.
"God, you're a klutz," he breathed warmly as my body exploded into butterflies. "How do you even skateboard?" he wondered. His breath smelled like sweets and caramel, and it took everything in me to not lean in closer than I already was.
"Skateboarding's different. Much more stability," I mumbled, unable to take my eyes away from his. It was like we were the only two people in the world, his hands wrapped about my torso and my arms hanging limply atop them at my sides. The loud music, the people around us, the entire room just fell away. His eyes were sucking me in again.
"Are you feeling unstable?" he snickered mischievously. "Oops." His knee knocked one of mine back. Trying to compensate for the lack of stead, I swung my arms out, squeaking, flailing, and gripping his shoulders. That was a bad idea, though. In one swift movement, I'd toppled backwards, falling straight onto my butt. He stood above me, giggling and biting down on his lip at my dismayed and surprised face.
Indignant, I shoved his leg, sending him into a flurry of quick movements. Austin fell forward, landing atop me, pushing my back and head to the ground. Of course I hadn't meant for that to happen, but now he was laying right on me, our chests pressed together. In that moment, he was the only person who existed to me. The room could've been burning, and all I cared for were his deep brown eyes staring into mine. Austin watched me curiously, and brushed a tendril of hair from my forehead. Desperately, my body burned, heart fluttering against my chest. My breathing hitched as he made no move to get up. His hand trailed down my cheek, caressing before he held it delicately. There's no way this is actually happening. Gently, he nudged his lips against mine, smiling and kissing me with a softness incomparable. Disbelieving and in a dreamlike state, I wrapped my arms around his neck and kissed back.
"I knew it," he whispered amusedly into my lips, pressing his against mine more passionately. Eyes fluttering closed, the sound of skates rolling past us disappeared. I could feel his grin through the kiss, and tried to hold my own back. Our mouths just molded together, leaving no spaces in between.
Ever so slowly, Austin pulled away, his eyes cloudy and curious. I didn't know what to say, just smiling softly and trying to catch my own breath. He sat back on his knees, pulling me up and staring into my eyes. People around us watched and smiled, but all I could see was Austin. His rumpled shirt, his now tousled hair, the smiling creases by his eyes that made him look like the sun. He got to his feet, hoisting me up as I limply allowed him to do so. Without another word, he pulled me out of the rink expertly, skating like he'd done it his whole life. I wondered then how he'd fallen so easily, and shook my head, grinning like an idiot. Promptly, he ripped his skates off and I followed suit, unsure of what was going on.
His warm hand secured around mine as he pulled me around a wall, shrouding us in darkness in a hallway I didn't know was there. His mouth immediately found mine in the dimness, kissing me like his life depended on it. In my socks, for I hadn't even had a chance to put my shoes back on before he tugged me away, I wrapped my arms around him and kissed back. His mouth explored mine as he pulled me impossibly close. It was like a fantasy as he left no room between our bodies, pressing me against the wall and moving his mouth with mine in perfect time. My entire self was exploding, rushing, just reacting to his.
Without any thought, my tongue shyly peeked into his mouth, only to be met by his fearless, sweet-tasting one. He groaned quietly, pushing me up harder and rubbing my sides with his long, thin fingers. My head was spinning with his taste as our tongues wrapped around, lovingly lapping at one another.
"Alan," he sighed happily into my mouth, running his hands up my chest. Shivers went all through my body, and he must have felt me shudder violently. "S-sorry," he murmured, safely and snugly holding my hips. "B-been waiting s-so long," his voice whispered, little gasps pervading it. Between his strands of broken sentences, our tongues danced, lips moving together like they'd never craved another taste. His mouth was so warm, like a safe haven for me, and I lost myself in the kiss I'd been dreaming of for almost a month. My lungs screamed for air, though, so I parted my lips from his slowly, leaning my head back against the wall. Chests heaving, we grinned quietly in the darkness. I could barely make out his features in the lack of light, but, as always, he was smiling.
His arms wrapped around my waist, indulging our mouths together once more, sweetly and briefly. He leaned his forehead on my shoulder, panting just a tiny bit and kissing it.
"God, that took us forever." He grinned, looking into my eyes, our bodies drenched with shadows.
"Yeah," I mumbled in agreement. His rich, deep brown hair kept falling, that one strand always finding its way to his forehead. Silently, I brushed it away and pecked his lips, unadulterated happiness flowing through me.
"Wanna get out of here?" he asked me. I hoped desperately that he couldn't feel or hear the heart through my bones, skin, and shirt. It was pounding. I nodded, dazed. He held my hand the whole way, and chuckled as I struggled to get my shoes back on.
"Here," he mumbled, kneeling down and slipping it onto my foot. I groaned in frustration.
"Did we just have a Cinderella moment?" I sighed.
"Did you just imply that I'm a prince?" he countered.
"I guess so." I looked at the ground, face and neck flushed under his gaze. He only pulled me back up, kissing me softly and gripping my body to his. I still wasn't used to the amazing act, and couldn't help the way my whole body caved into his in a storm of warmth and good feelings. It was, logically speaking, impossible for him to like me back. Yet, here he was, kissing me in the middle of a skating rink.
"Let's go," he mumbled, pulling me by the hand and walking out to his car. When he sat down inside, we just kind of stared at each other, smiling stupidly and holding hands. There was nothing on earth, I knew, more beautiful than his eyes. It was so quiet, so raw and real the way he looked at me. I almost felt naked under his eyes, unable to hide anything, and stared back. My mind, for tonight, was gone, whisked away by his sweet, strong lips. As if compelled by his own nature, Austin ducked in closer and stole another kiss, cupping the side of my neck with his hand.
"I really like you," I couldn't help but say as he pressed kisses into my lips. It felt childish, and stupid, but he didn't seem to mind.
"Mmh, me too," he chuckled, pulling me closer. The center console ever continued its role as a wall between us as his lips tirelessly molded against mine. Taking a deep inhale, he ripped himself away.
"So, h-how long?" he asked, breathing more heavily.
"The first night, maybe." I shrugged, thinking back to the way he tugged me along through Selena Park on our first adventure. Austin groaned.
"What?" I asked. He smiled, embarrassed and happy, playing with my fingers.
"Remember when we were kids, and the first time Michael invited me over to spend the night? And he let you hang out with us?" I did, actually, thinking back to when I was about 8 or so. I'd just toddled along, playing with them and enjoying having older people to be around. Realizing then what he was trying to say, I almost gasped.
"Are you serious? That long?" I slapped my forehead and laughed.
"Don't laugh at me. You were cute back then, too." He pressed his lips together, stifling a smile, and pecked my cheek. I couldn't help but notice how things were very much as they were before, but even better now that we could share these feelings together.
Part of me wanted to believe that this was a dream, and that I'd wake up, alone and craving the taste of his mouth. That small, pessimistic part was dissolved with his lips, with each and every kiss. I'd never been kissed before, but it felt like nothing ever satisfied me more than him.
The car was so warm, and I felt undeniable gratefulness.
"Let's go get ice cream," he suggested, and I nodded, smiling.
"Okay," I mumbled. So he pushed the key into the ignition, and drove away.
"You seriously are a klutz," he said as we got onto the empty road.
"That's not really my fault. I told you I sucked." I shrugged, playing with the fingers of his free hand. Warmth flooded my body as I realized I was now finally allowed to kiss his palm like I'd always wanted to. His breathing hitched as I pressed my lips to his hand.
"I expected even a little balance," he chuckled.
"Why'd you trip me then?" I demanded, being argumentative for the hell of it.
"I wanted to kiss you." He shrugged.
"How'd you know I would kiss back?" I wondered, letting my lips explore his palm and wrist.
"I'm not really sure. I just got this feeling," he said quietly. I hoped that we had felt the same thing back there, and smiled. The ice cream shop was only a few a miles away, so we were there within a few minutes. Austin got out quickly and opened my door for me, earning an eye roll.
"Hey, I'm a gentlemen," he objected to my attitude.
"Whatever," I mumbled, getting up on my tiptoes and kissing him. His hands wandered my back, rubbing and massaging as he kissed me, until we both got too tired to continue. By the hand, he led me in and we got in line. The lights were so florescent, and I narrowed my eyes at the floor so as to not let in too much of it. His strong, warm hand held mine as we ordered, trying not to smile at each other too much. It was warm, happy air, and I could barely keep everything in as we got our ice cream and sat outside on the curb, underneath the flood lamp.
"Can you sit in my lap?" he asked, voice not nervous at all. In fact, his tone was that of borrowing a cup of sugar; completely nonchalant.
"Sure." I scooted into his lap, feeling butterflies press at my body as his arm snaked around my stomach and rubbed softly. His chin rested on my shoulder, and I breathed so deeply.
Contented and almost floating, I licked at the ice cream cone, trying not to let any of it drip onto my fingers.
Austin held his over my shoulder near his mouth, licking it and turning my head every so often to steal a kiss. It was utter completion, this feeling that he wanted me back. Silent and blissful, we sat together under the streetlight.
"Can we just cuddle in my car for a while after this?" he asked, voice sounding forlorn.
"Of course," I responded.
"I don't want you to go home," he sighed. I didn't want to feel sad, especially now. I reached into his bag and pulled out my camera.
"Let's take pictures," I said. He smiled, leaning in and pecking my lips. "Can you take one of us? Your arms are longer." He nodded, holding it to face towards us, finger unsteadily on the button.
"Kiss me," he mumbled, and I obliged, eyes fluttering closed as our lips met, buried so deep under the light and airplanes and stars, and everything that existed so high above us. I barely registered the click and flash as our mouths moved together. He pulled away, and plucked it out. Warmness pervaded my body, looking at our picture. Our eyes closed in contentedness, mouths molded together and just barely pulled up into smiles at the corners of our lips.
"Can we take another one? So I can keep one and so can you?" he asked. I nodded, grinning and dipping my head in again to kiss him. One photograph later, we both had our copies and were quickly licking up the melting ice creams, compensating for time lost to kissing.
For hours longer, we just laid down in the backseat of his car, laughing and talking, take random silly photos of us together and each other. Each kiss felt like the first, until the sun begrudgingly intruded on our time together. By the moment I knew it was time to go home, I was in utter disbelief that the night had even happened. My body was dead tired, drooping across Austin's, my head dipping as I fell in and out of rest. His lips against my forehead sent a jolt through me, making sure I stayed awake.
"Tired yet?" he murmured, kissing my earlobe. Oh, god, the things his lips did to me. I couldn't even explained the warmth coursing through my veins, the absolute perfection of the moment.
"No," I lied, watching him sleepily.
"Yes you are, you lair." He grinned, nudging my nose with his own.
"Whatever," I mumbled, and he scooted away, getting out, and leaving me to fall back to sleep in the backseat.
By the time he had me home, I was far gone.
"Als, wake up." He touched my shoulder, and I shifted, groaning.
"We're home." He smiled, handing me my camera and the pictures that were mine. We'd decided to divvy them up, so we could both have ones of each other, and a few each of us kissing. It felt unreal to look at those ones, but I knew it to be true in my heart. Austin was... mine.
"Okay," I mumbled sadly, getting out. It was 4 AM, and he followed suit, getting out of the car. We looked at each other until he made the first move, pressing me to the car and connecting our lips. Sleepily, I kissed back, melting against him and enjoying the taste of vanilla on his mouth.
"Give me your phone," he mumbled into my lips, sending me to fumble through my pocket and hand it to him. He sent a message, programming his own number in. "Now we can be way more organized about this," he chuckled, pulling me into the house quietly. We crept down the stairs so gently as to not make a sound until we got to the bottom, at my door. His lips met mine delicately, lacing our fingers together and squeezing as he enchanted me with his kiss.
"I'll see you tomorrow," he whispered into my mouth. "Sleep tight." He grinned.
"Good night." I pecked his lips once more, wishing it wasn't a goodbye kiss, and stumbled into my room as quietly as I could.
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Sorry about the wait. Comment and vote :* I don't really know if I like this one but I'm posting it anyways
BTW: you guys should read a really good Kellic called This Should Feel Something Like Fire. by Shameless_besitos because it is fuçking awesome *^* that is all.