not edited
this is it loves.
ultimate
[ latin for final ]
[ through adrianna's eyes | part i ]
adrianna | caleb
Adrianna added the number to her contacts before texting him.
+44 9201 05269
hey caleb ! it's adrianna
adrianna? adrianna! i thought you forgot me ;(
but i see, you got a new number ;)
*gasps in french* i would absolutely never
and yes i did ;)
love, you can't even say 'i love you caleb' in the laguage. how the bloody hell would you know how to gasp in it ;-;
ouch cal :( felt that all the way in my heart
always the dramatic ;-;
i can practically see you rolling your eyes !
but je t'adore caleb ;)
what the bloody fuck.
oh actually that's so sexy
the cute girl from the states speaking french ;)
would you like me to fuck you in french too? *cue the eyeroll*
no it's okay that's why i have my french maid
oh my god, goodnight ;-;
kidding! maybe ;) come back!
i'm always here ;)
Adrianna laughed to herself as she texted back and forth with Caleb. They talked for a little while longer, Caleb checking with Adrianna to see if she already settled in some place to which she replied that she did and divulged in a short retelling of her little miracle.
After Caleb said he had to go, Adrianna sighed to herself and fell back into the beige chesterfield she was sitting in. Staring at her messily laid out writing notebooks she had on the coffee table, she picked up her floral covered book and buried herself in her writing. She let herself bleed onto the blank white pages through the black ink. It healed her slowly, helping in piecing together her fractured pieces.
Cavier walked through the apartment door and Adrianna's head snapped up to meet his soft gaze already fixated on her. She gave him a small smile to which he returned before his eyes fell on the notebooks and writing utensils covering the coffee table. Cavier smiled at the sight - in the past week, he had come to learn that Adrianna was her happiest when she was writing.
They ordered Thai take out and curled up on their own ends of the settee together, watching Marvel's Daredevil, on Netflix.
—
Adrianna finished washing the last plate before putting it in the rack to dry. The two had watched through four episodes until Adrianna decided to get up and wash the dishes, despite Cavier's wishes.
"Hey, Cavier," Adrianna said, walking out from the kitchen.
"I thought I told you to leave the dishes in the sink, I would do them!" Cavier exclaimed, staring at her through narrowed eyes.
Rolling her eyes, she continued on, "So, I saw this cafe across the street outside and they looked pretty cozy, do you know if they're any good?"
A wide smile replaced the scowl on his lips, "Crescents and Rosebuds?"
"Yes!" Cavier nearly screamed when she nodded silently, "They're brilliant, that's where I met my girlfriend," the boy smiled fondly.
"Who I have yet to meet," Adrianna shot him a dazzling smile, batting her lashes as his cheeks heated up.
"This weekend, I promise," he murmured, avoiding her gaze. Adrianna smiled at him—a genuine and sincere smile—and felt herself melt into her emotions from the love she currently witnessed.
"I've just met you and I can already see you two are adorable. But I'm going to check out the coffeehouse, okay?"
"Maybe you'll find a guy," Cavier teased her and winked. Hurt flashed in her eyes—she wasn't ready to move on yet—but it disappeared just as quick it came, but that wasn't quick enough for Cavier to miss.
"Doubt it," she forced a giggle, shaking her head.
Cavier gave her a sympathetic smile, standing up and walking over to her.
"I'm sorry, love, it'll all heal in time," Cavier whispered as he wrapped his arms reassuringly around her. She blinked back tears, nodding in his chest. They pulled away after a few moment and she grabbed her sleek white cell and Kate Spade wristlet.
"Be careful," Cavier said lastly before she murmured 'of course,' and walked out the door.
[ through hunter's eyes ]
Hunter wasn't sure where his head was, but all he knew was the one question that swirled in mind like a broken record.
How did we get here?
Adrianna had disappeared, she had left without a single word and Phoenix was here, slowly losing the pieces of himself as he drowned himself in alcohol and drunk poetry. But Hunter knew nothing would ever be enough for either of them to erase the pain they caused each other.
But what bothered Hunter more than anything was why he didn't know where Adrianna went.
They had been best friends all their lives, though they spent years apart, they reunited like those years didn't exist. He knew Adrianna—as did she him—inside out for their entire childhood, surely there had to be a dream of sorts that she wanted to make come alive.
But Jesus Christ, this was Adrianna Vasiliev, the girl suffered wanderlust, she could be anywhere in the world.
Hunter was at a loss sitting in the swivel chair by his desk in his bedroom, revisiting old albums filled with pictures of memories. He was thinking back to everything he possibly could, trying to remember everything Adrianna has ever said about her future when they were mere children. He was thinking back to their families together - his father, her father, his mother, her moth- No fucking way, a voice nearly yelled in his head.
It seemed, all at once, everything hit him and he took into realisation what he'd been missing all along. Her mother was the key. As a child, Adrianna shared the love for classic literature and Old English with her mother, she often spoke of dreams she had to become an English professor and go to the University of Cambridge.
Of fucking course! Of course she'd go to England. She needed a fresh start while still holding onto boundless ties. Her mother and father had gotten married in England, her mother absolutely adored the country, Phoenix was from England, why wouldn't she go there.
Moments later, the boy had sprinted out of his house and into his car. A blooming feeling of hope spread across his being. Maybe Adrianna and Phoenix could fix themselves.
Hunter's mind reeled as he all but floored the gas to the Worthington's, his mind racing with the new information he just realised. How could I have been so blind?
He entered—using his spare key they had given him—and walked to the middle of the living room. The mansion was eerily silent and the only thing to be heard was his heavy breathing. Maybe they went out? Crinkling his eyebrows, he pulled out his phone, dialling Phoenix's number. It rang out and Hunter hissed out an incoherent before ringing Blake's number and placing the sleek cell against his ear again.
"Hello?" Blake's voice answered hoarsely.
"Blake," Hunter answered breathlessly, his heart seizing in his chest with excitement for the next words he was about to utter. Maybe they can fix their broken pieces back together. Maybe everything will okay.
"Hunter, what's wrong?" Blake asked a bit more alarmed.
"I know where she is, I know," Hunter was still breathless as the words tumbled out of his mouth.
The shaky sigh that left Blake's lips worried Hunter, but it didn't break him as much as Blake's next words did.
"It's too late, Phoenix has been in an accident," his voice trembled.
"I- no!" Hunter let out a heart-wrenching scream as his eyes clouded over and he fell to tears.
All at once, Hunter's phone slipped from his hands, falling to the ground as did he.
Hunter Bazzi had fallen to his knees. And with his head buried in his hands, he let out body-wracking cries.
[ through blake's eyes ]
Blake felt broken as he pushed Hunter's call to the back of his mind and sent the two texts and shut off his phone.
new text: pyper and the guys
phoenix. hospital. now.
new text: mum and dad
phoenix. hospital. now.
He felt numb. He felt absolutely hopeless. He was too blind to see Phoenix—his only baby brother—and the battles he faced. This was his only brother he had left and in the moment, he was wasn't sure if he'd be able to see another day. This would be his second brother he couldn't save. And that would destroy Blake wholly.
Hell, he wasn't too sure he could survive another heartbreak.
Blake wasn't sure who he was mad at - Phoenix, Adrianna, or himself.
The boys and Pyper had come rushing in just minutes before, upon seeing his text and now they were all here, they shared the emptiness the settled in the pit of their stomachs. His parents had also gotten the same text and were at the hospital just shy of fifteen minutes, Cartier flooring the pedal as Celeste cried painfully for her baby boy and tears of his own falling down his face.
The salty tears were endless, rolling down Blake's face as he sat in the waiting room of the hospital with his arms around his sister, her face buried in his chest and their parents arms coming around them both, enveloping the four of them in a tight hug.
The guys occupied their own corner of the room, giving Blake, Pyper, and their parents their much needed space. But they all cried themselves, slumping in their own chairs and blaming themselves in their mind. They were all left asking the same question Blake, Pyper, Celeste, and Carter were - how did we get here?
Phoenix was their best friend, he had been for all of their lives. Thinking of a life without him was unimaginable, the concept alone was impossible. The boys has grown up together, every memory they had included each other, included Phoenix.
He had to be okay, each boy silently prayed in their mind.
Blake, his mum, and sister cried as his father's arms came around the three of them tightly. Cartier was desperately trying to keep his tears in and stay strong for his family. But he just couldn't. He cried silently, his shoulders shaking as he held his family.
His heart was beating tremulously in his chest as he felt at a loss. He felt his heart shatter a million times over in his chest as he heard the cries of his wife and children and felt their bodies shaking. Cartier had a far too gentle heart and often shied away from seeing tears and feeling pain. But right now, it was unavoidable, it was the melancholic absolution of their reality.
Cartier and Celeste heard warning bells going off in their heads as they both had flashbacks replaying in their minds of that night ten years ago. It haunted them, hanging over their beings like a dark shadow and they were terrified, the feeling unfathomable into words. And tonight was eerily similar to then, giving everyone unceasing anxiety.
"It's all my fault," Blake suddenly burst into a fresh fit of tears, pushing himself in his sister's arms. "I fell asleep, I should've been watching him. I'm sorry," he rasped out as he cried.
"Shh," Pyper hushed him as she pulled away from him and raked her fingers through his hair, crying herself, "Don't you dare blame this on yourself, you had no idea this was going to happen, you had no idea he was going to do this."
"Still," Blake murmured stubbornly.
"Blake, I love you, but if you blame yourself for this, I'll have to hate you," she sighed dramatically, hoping to lighten his mood, even if just a little.
"Please don't. I don't think I could live with myself if I lose you." Too, he was so tempted to add on too. Because he already felt like he lost his brother, and there would be absolutely nothing to replace the hole housing itself in his heart.
Cartier chastised him for even thinking it was his fault in the slightest, telling him over and over again this wasn't his doing. Meanwhile, Celeste broke down into sobs, burying her face in Blake's neck and wrapping her arms tightly about his trembling body as she shook her head and murmured repeatedly into his skin 'don't you ever blame yourself.'
They all fell to silence then, the only thing to be heard was everyone's erratic breathing and quiet cries. And they all did the one thing they could do - wait.
An hour and a half later, a doctor walked into the waiting room and while Blake's mum and sister had their heads leaning on Cartier's shoulder, all their eyes closed, Blake shot up and stared at the doctor.
"Hello, I'm Doctor Saros, are you Blake Everett, brother of Phoenix Worthington?"
"Yes," Blake answered immediately and he noticed his parents, sister, and the guys standing behind him, wide awake.
"And you two must be his parents," she looked at Cartier and Celeste and they nodded.
Doctor Saros smiled briefly, "Phoenix is alive, he made it an-"
Before she could continue, everyone let out a breath they never knew they were holding in since they knew of his accident.
"He made it, he's alive," Blake was the one to chant under his breath as he squeezed Pyper's hand tightly and looked up at the ceiling.
"He's awake now too, if you'd all like to see him, I can take you to his room."
"Yes, please," Cartier said desperately, before asking, "But what exactly happened?"
"Phoenix was in a car crash and there seemed to be a high amount of alcohol in his body. The man that brought him here said he watched as the boy drove straight through a strip of red lights. It didn't take him a second to realize the boy was driving himself to his death and he jumped in his car and followed behind. But Phoenix all but floored the pedal, so the crash was as good as inevitable, I'm so sorry. But you're all lucky, Phoenix is unbelievably lucky, the man was quick in running out his car and to Phoenix's when he crashed and pulled him out and rushed him here. If he had come a second later, well, we're not entirely sure he would have made it."
"My God, whoever he was, our thanks and love goes to him," Cartier said for everyone as they were all either crying or lost in thought, even though he himself already had tears coming down his face.
The situation was too much like Elliot's, it was a fresh heartbreak in all their chests.
Saros gave a sad smile, "I'm sorry I can't even give you all a proper name of who he was, he only explained what happened before begging 'bring this boy back to life, please,' and then leaving."
"What are his injuries?" Blaked questioned once she finished speaking.
"He bruised up, terribly. He has broken ribs, fractured bones, and a major head concussion. If you're wondering the specifics," Saros glanced down at her clipboard before looking up again, "He has a fractured clavicle, a fractured hip bone, subluxations on his knee caps, a fractured ankle, dislocated elbows, and some internal bleeding as well as whiplash on his body."
Doctor Saros led them to Phoenix's room, stopping them outside. Cartier held onto Celeste tightly as she cried and Blake held onto Pyper and the guys stood behind.
"There's just one more slight thing," Doctor Saros said hesitantly.
"What is it?" Blake rushed out in one breath, taking the question out of everyone's mouth.
"Phoenix is awake," she started skeptically, "But because of the concussion, he might suffer memory loss.
"He'll remember certain things, but it might take a few moments for him to remember you all, if he doesn't as first. And as for other things, if he isn't reminded of them, if it doesn't hit him on his own, or if he says he doesn't remember when you guys bring it up, those certain memories might be forgotten forever. And please remember, as this is crucial, do not force anything upon him or his memory, if you do, it might put a strain on his mind and possibly induce a coma."
Blake and the rest nodded slowly, processing the new information as they wordlessly entered the room.
[ through phoenix's eyes ]
Phoenix woke up disoriented, dazed, and confused, blinking a few times as he tried to regain his focus. Once he did, he stared up at the white, bland ceiling and his face contorted in confusion. He took in the medicinal scent of his surroundings, and he grew even more confused.
He remembered being here recently, for someone, but who? He began wracking his brain, trying to remember, but the more he thought, the more the throbbing of his head increased.
Where am I? His stubborn side refused to let it go, he wanted to remember. But with every arising question he asked himself, he drew up another blank. In fact, Phoenix tried to remember the last thing that happened, but all he could remember was-
"Hello, I'm Dr. Saros" a feminine voice lightly greeted, snapping Phoenix from his thoughts. His eyes flickered from the ceiling to meet the eyes of a young woman. A group of people followed behind him, watching with bloodshot, curious eyes and tear streaked faces and Phoenix immediately recognised his mum and dad. But his eyebrows scrunched together as he tried to place names to the others and their familiar faces. But once again, he came up lost.
"Can you tell me your name?" Dr. Saros asked, coming up beside Phoenix's head.
"Phoenix Alexander Worthington," he uttered.
"Your birthday?"
"July 5th, 1997."
"Your age?"
"Twenty one."
"Can you tell me what happened?"
Phoenix thought for a moment, wincing when his head pounded harder than moments prior before shaking his head. He grunted lowly when he tried to move his body, but instead felt pain shooting everywhere. Celeste whimpered lowly seeing her son in such pain, Cartier felt the hot tears streak down his face, Pyper hadn't bother to hide her cries as she stared at him, and Blake simply studied his brother with curious eyes.
"Keep the moving to minimal, you're pretty bruised up," the doctor said as his mother muffled her cries with her hand. Phoenix wanted to call out to her 'don't cry mum, I hate seeing you cry.' But it made him wonder all the more what exactly happened.
"How many fingers am I holding up?" She asked within a seconds passing.
"Four."
"Can you read this for me?" Saros held her clipboard in front of Phoenix and pointed to the top left corner.
"Oxford Hospital, 5225 Oxford Lane, Fort Lauderdale, Florida."
"Okay, can you tell me the last thing you remember?"
Phoenix closed his eyes, inhaling sharply as he tried to recall the very last thing he remembered happening. But his mind was empty.
"I-I don't remember clearly?"
The petite girl standing in the middle of the guys broke down into a loud sob, covering her eyes as she fell into a boy's open arms. Phoenix's eyes met the boy's eccentric, yet haunted green eyes, feeling a wave crash against his being. I know him, I know her too. Shite, what are their names? His mind reeled, not giving him a chance to breathe.
"You don't remember or you don't want to remember?" The doctor's voice brought him back to the present.
"I-I don't remember," he stuttered again.
"Hm," the doctor nodded as she scrawled away on her clipboard.
Phoenix felt a sense of nostalgia wash over him seeing the sight and laying on the bed, but he just couldn't remember from what or where.
"Okay, do you know any of these people?" The doctor gestured at the crew standing behind him.
Yes, his mind screamed. No, another voice quickly fought back, making his headache increase.
"My mum," he pointed a finger weakly, keeping his arm on the bed and Celeste rushed to his side, "And my dad," he rasped out and Cartier came over to him.
"Hi, baby," Celeste leaned down and showered her son with gentle kisses.
Dr. Saros had excused herself, saying she'd be back later.
Blake, Pyper, and they guys all felt their hearts about to claw its way out of their chests the longer Phoenix stared at them with scrunched brows. Until Blake broke apart from his sister and best friends and walked over to him.
Phoenix offered him an open palm while still keeping his arm laying on the bed and Blake took it, gently intertwining their fingers as he smiled sadly at his brother. Celeste pulled away from her son, standing up to her full height and fell back into her husband as they all watched the exchanged between the two brothers.
A shiver ran through Phoenix's body as his eyes screwed shut and he gasped for air. His eyes opened again and his ocean irises locked with Blake's striking green irises and suddenly, Phoenix remembered.
"Blake," the boy coughed up and Blake's eyes lit up, "I remember," he cracked a small smile as did Blake.
"And Pyper!" He weakly screamed and the girl ran to him, kissing his cheeks and forehead softly. Phoenix's cheeks heated up at the affection.
"Judah, Marlowe, Elieze, Talon," Phoenix smiled, meeting each of their eyes as he called out their names and they all smiled in return.
And it seemed, all was right in the world.
—
The next few hours flew by as Phoenix's family stayed and talked, keeping the conversation light. But all was not right in the world. Her name had not been brought up once since Phoenix woke up and that worried everyone in the room. And now Blake, Judah, and Marlowe were having a not so discreetly hushed conversation in the corner of the bland hospital room.
They were tempted to bring up the idea of her, but they didn't want to put the weight of the memories on him, if he didn't remember. But what if he did remember, Hunter did say he knew where she was, right? Then again, if he didn't remember, there was a chance of him slipping into a coma. And was she really worth that?
The boys didn't get too far in their pondering before Phoenix called them from the hospital bed.
"What are you cheeky sods whispering about over there?"
Slowly, they all turned around and faced him, smiling nervously. Blake had absolutely no intentions of bringing her up, but Judah was on a completely different mindset as he inhaled sharply and walked over to Phoenix. He wasn't doing this because he was ever jealous of his cousin, he was doing this because he felt that his cousin deserved to at least try to know. Despite the repercussions that may come.
"Hey mate," Judah said, suddenly feeling his mouth dry, "I've got a question for you."
"Well, out with it," Phoenix looked at him with an arched brow.
"So, uh, do you remember your girlfriend?" Everyone held a breath, waiting for his answer nervously. They all started to think he forgot the question because he remained quiet for what seemed like forever. Until he winced and grunted for thinking too hard.
"M-My girlfriend?" Phoenix he finally questioned with scrunched brows.
"Fuck, Judah," Blake hissed and his parents and the rest of the groups eyes widened and their jaws dropped - including Judah's. He forgot her. And there was just no coming back from that.
Phoenix looked around each of the curiously, but they all stayed quiet, so he began to speak again.
"Wha-"
"Phoenix," Blake said, half enthusiastically, attempting to provide a distraction. "How are you feeling?"
And because Phoenix was utterly out of it, he immediately forgot the topic and smirked, "Ready to get out of here."
Though the room was filled with anxiety and tension, they all couldn't help but burst out laughing, shaking their heads at Phoenix's response. Since then, the concept of her became forgotten all together, no one daring to bring it up once more.
"With your broken ribs, fractured bones, and a major head concussion you're sporting, you can gladly kiss the idea of leaving here soon goodbye, you doughnut," Cartier laughed and Phoenix pouted.
And so, together they spent the rest of the night forgetting and creating.
[ through cavier's eyes ]
Cavier eyed the girl's notebooks that she left oh so temptingly open on the coffee table. Over the past week, he came to learn that Adrianna's heart and soul belonged in her writing. If she wasn't breathing down his neck to help her get a job—which he continuously told her 'no' for he wanted her to feel comfortable and fully settled—she'd be cozily house a corner of the flat and lock herself in her own world as she wrote.
He often came home from the glasshouse to find her curled up on the chesterfield in the living room or on her bed in her bedroom with her head buried in her notebooks and her hand moving at the speed of light. She'd drink mug after mug of tea as she spent the most ungodly hours of the night and day writing.
Adrianna didn't know it yet, but that's just reason why he's always told her no when she asked for a job, because from the moment she entered the apartment a week ago and he showed her around and then left her to herself, she curled up in the hanging tear drop chair, just reading and writing for hours. Cavier knew she was the perfect addition to the glasshouse. His brother and himself rarely ever brought anyone into their company just like that, but Cavier knew Adrianna was rather a rare gem.
And a rare gem she was, she proved him right two days when she read but one short poem to him. But bloody hell how Adrianna Vasiliev was one of the most cryptic women Cavier had ever met; when he the time came to introduce her to his brother in the future, Cavier knew he'd surely meet his match. Adrianna was not only cryptic, but bloody hard to break down her walls, Cavier had to beg for her to read even just a poem with six lines; and even after she did, she ran out the living room in her bedroom, not giving Cavier the chance to talk as he just stared her once filled, then empty spot, speechlessly.
Cavier glanced back at the door to make sure his roommate was truly gone before flopping down, quite literally, on the creamy sand chesterfield and taking one of her many notebooks in his hands. Adrianna was going to kill him later, but it would be worth it all in the end, he knew it. Turning to a random page, he started to read.
[ before ]
"you are such a beauty in my eyes.
i am truly enamoured of an
ethereal goddess like you,"
you whispered that night.
[ after ]
was it all a bloody lie?!
i shout in mirror.
why can't i ever seem to be enough?
i cry weakly, falling to my knees.
Cavier found himself mesmerised once again by Adrianna's art and her whimsical way with words. He knew Adrianna Vasiliev was mystery like no other, he knew she was hurt more than she'd ever let on. And he knew he was going to give her the start she desperately wanted, the fresh start she escaped the states for. He flipped to another page and started to read again.
when he found me crying,
he said,
"the darkest places in hell are reserved for those
who maintain their neutrality in times of moral crises."
i looked at him with teary eyes and murmured,
"dante."
he gave me one last knowing look
before he walked out the door.
i realised,
he used my weakness against me;
and i decided,
i would no longer show my weakness.
to anyone.
Cavier's eyes ran over her words over and over again. He didn't give what he was about to do a second thought; he wasted no time in pulling out his phone from his blazer's pocket and ringing his brother's number.
"Hello Cav," came his brother's richly accented voice.
"Gunner, I think I've found us our newest addition."
[ through adrianna's eyes | part ii ]
Adrianna spent nearly the entirety of the day in the dainty shop, not even realising. She fell in love with the shop, deciding it would be her go-to from now on.
Throughout the few hours she spent at Crescents and Rosebuds as she housed a corner in the shop, Adrianna felt the sharp pain of being forgotten tug at her heartstrings and she had not even the slightest idea why.
Finally deciding she had enough of the coffee shop for today, she left tips on the table she had been sitting at before pulling on her leather jacket and exited the shop. Crossing the chaotically busy street, she walked to the glass doors of the residential building she would now call hers before walking inside and through the lobby to the elevator up to the twenty ninth floor. Entering the door to the flat, she realised Cavier wasn't there and the place was too silent, allowing her thoughts to be deadlier than a gun.
Sighing softly, the girl put her wristlet on the coffee table before walking into the kitchen and brewed herself a mug of hibiscus-rosehip tea.
She walked over to the panoramic glass wall of the apartment with her mug in her hands and watched out the window into the tenacious moving city alight with life.
She knew she'd soon become the love she desperately searched for, all in time.
And Adrianna stood, all by herself in her apartment, watching the gold skies.
— f i n —
final author's note coming :) xx