not edited
antepenultimate
[ latin for third to last ]
THIRD PERSON POV
Sitting in the economy class seat of the airplane, Adrianna felt her soul slowly leaving her body. A cold and eerie numbness ran through her body, eliciting a slight shiver. Tears fell freely down her face and the voices in her head haunted her.
She knew what she was currently doing was what one would deem as incredibly stupid, but she couldn't turn back, she didn't want to. A part of her had felt disenthralled from her past self with each mile farther and farther away from Florida, from him.
Though she couldn't quash the freeness and streak of adrenaline slowly coursing through her veins as she had bought the very next plane ticket to England—a 18:45 flight—only an hour and a half ago. But now, with just about five hours until she landed, she had more than enough time to ponder over her thoughts - Phoenix, the crew, her father's company.
In a way, this was a concept that had only ever existed in her wildest dreams - packing a bag with all the essentials, buy a plane ticket and runaway with the one she loved—or not—being much happier broke and doing something she loved passionately then endlessly studying to work for the rest of her life.
But the circumstances were starkly contrasting - she wasn't running away happily to be happier, she was running away to be set free from her pain, yet she felt ruefully guilty, however, for running away just like that.
She felt the regret settling at the pit of stomach, slowly beginning to eat away at her for leaving Phoenix and for leaving her friends, the only family she knew. But Adrianna knew herself and she knew if stayed just a moment longer, she would run back into his arms, she knew if she stayed a moment longer, and came face to face with the crew, they'd make her stay.
And she needed to end her hurt, no matter how selfish she was becoming.
Putting in her earphones, pressing shuffle on her playlist, ironically enough, London by Mokita started to hum in her ears softly. She dropped her sleek cell in her lap as she turned her head to the side, leaning back against the headrest and watching out the miniature window into the clouds. Instinctively, her right hand found her left, toying and twirling the infinity ring resting on her middle finger that she never once took off and a fresh set of tears welled in her eyes.
§
Four hours later, Adrianna's eyes fluttered open as the airplane's cabin lights flickered on and the announcement came that they were landing soon. She picked up her phone to see the screen come to life and the time read 06:50 am.
Half an hour later, Adrianna found herself navigating through the lively London-Heathrow airport. She felt different - lighter as if she were a lost wanderer just exploring—which she was—with the world in her palms. She buried the weight of leaving the crew, her best friend, her love, deep inside of her, deciding to prolong the feeling threatening to tear her down completely until she settled down. God only knew just how tempted Adrianna was to fly right back to Florida and beg Phoenix to take her back, get past this with all she had.
Because that is who Adrianna Vasiliev was - despite her cold exterior, she had a weak resolve. And in the end, that would be her utter downfall.
Stepping out of the airport, Adrianna hailed a cab, luckily getting one in four minutes.
"Hi, love," the driver—a young boy seeming to be only a few years older—greeted as she got in the backseat and she inwardly flinched at the use of the endearment.
"Hi," she greeted shyly.
"Where to?" He asked, turning his head to face her.
"Th-The heart of Cambridge city," she stuttered in her American accent, a deep contrast from his rich British one.
He nodded as he turned back around and put the black cab in the drive gear and pulled off.
"I'm Caleb," the boy said with a kind smile in the mirror, trying to diffuse the tension the girl was clearly being tortured by.
It seemed to work as she met his gaze in the mirror and smiled just as softly, "Adrianna."
"So, Adrianna," he chuckled lightly, "You're clearly not from here, what brings you to England, well Cambridge," he questioned, sounding genuinely curious.
"Wanderlust," Adrianna suddenly beamed though Caleb could see so,me underlying pain her in her gold irises, but decided against questioning her.
For the next hour—the time it took to get from LHR to Cambridge—they conversed lightly, warming up to each other and even becoming friends. Adrianna knew all ideas of trusting anyone, let alone a bloody stranger should've been thrown out the window. But that was her, trusting and loving everyone she came across until they gave her a reason otherwise.
Like him, a voice in her mind faintly said.
"We're here," Caleb smiled, driving through a bit of early morning traffic before finding and pulling into an empty space along the sidewalk. But Adrianna was too lost in gazing through the window at the city during its rush hour.
"Do you know where you want me to drop you off?"
Adrianna's eyes widened as her head snapped in Caleb's direction an only then did she realise she really didn't think this through. The word reckless swirled in her mind on a constant loop in his voice and she felt her heart hammering in her chest.
"Adrianna?" His voice snapped her back to reality and she shook her head slightly, crinkling her brows before meeting his eyes.
She sheepishly offered a 'no' and Caleb stared at her with incredulity, "I'm not just going to leave you in the middle of the bloody streets," he exclaimed. They had already established a friendship, but friendship or not, Caleb had taken a sincere liking to the girl and he was certainly worried.
"I'll be okay," she said quickly, trying to calm him down, "You can leave me here and I'll wander around and book a hotel until I find a flat," she smiled reassuringly.
He sighed begrudgingly, "Let's exchange numbers then, so I can at least make sure you're safe."
Adrianna gave him a teasing look, causing him to chuckle, "I promise love, I'm not trying to bed you, but I do genuinely care about you." She smiled tenderly at him, murmuring a small 'you're so sweet,' before taking his phone and texting herself.
"Caleb, this is my number from the states, but I'm getting a new phone and I promise as soon as I do I will call, okay?"
He stared at her through squinted eyes and huffed, "You better or so God help me, I will find you amongst this city myself!"
He pouted as she giggled, "You're terribly adorable."
"Adorable? Adorable," Caleb screeched, "Adrianna, you just bruised my ego worse than when the girl of my dreams rejected my promeposal," he put a hand on his heart. Adrianna nearly choked on her own laughter, leaning forward and playfully smacking his arm.
"Ouch," he squealed before throwing his head back and laughing deeply with her own laughs mixed in.
After they calmed down, he started to speak, "But Adrianna, I'm serious when I say this, stay safe. And do keep in touch, love," he smiled sadly. Adrianna smiled a small, kind smile in his direction before getting out of the black cab.
Once again left on her own and still feeling tender from the thunderous storm she's been weathering on the inside, all Adrianna could wish for, was a miracle.
And she might get just that.
Adrianna wandering the streets of Cambridge rather aimlessly, her head turning in every which direction as she took in the sights of the busy city streets at eight in the morning. Everything within her was still raw and numb and she knew taking the very next flight to England was reckless, but she couldn't find it in herself to care.
Reckless—the word sliced through her on repeat and she only mentally begged and begged for it to stop. But the truth was—as she kept going over in her mind—Adrianna was wild and reckless with her feelings, craving feeling itself, whether it be love, or pain. But Florida was beginning to house only bad memories and pain - something Adrianna was desperate to escape: her endless cycle of pain and hurt.
Adrianna became so consumed and lost in her thoughts as she just gazed at every sight before her whole walking down the buzzing streets. The sky was conflicted much like her feelings - the sun was desperately trying to break through the clouds. The only solace she found in the of the county, Cambridgeshire, was knowing her grandparents, her mother's parents, lived their own clichés of a romantic love story - starry eyes and star crossed lovers - before they went to heaven.
The girl was so enthralled by her languid thoughts, she hadn't even realised she walked right into something - or someone, in this case.
"Shite!" A deep voice cursed and Adrianna felt searing liquid spill on her as she fell back. But two strong arms came around her waist, saving her from her fall. Her duffel bag fell from her shoulders and onto the ground beside them. Slowly, her eyes opened and a gasp left her lips as she peered into the strangers jade green eyes.
"Bloody hell, I'm so sorry, love," the stranger rushed out, pulling her back up to her full height and picking her duffel off the ground. He hung the strap of it on his shoulder as he stared at her with flushed cheeks and wide eyes.
"Oh God, I'm sorry, that was my fault," Adrianna rushed out, seeing the brown liquid of his coffee seep through his white dress shirt and wincing herself as she felt it seep through her own.
He chuckled, "I'm afraid it was mine, I was the bloody brute on my phone. I should've been paying attention."
"I was a bit too lost in my thoughts," Adrianna smiled sheepishly, refusing to let him take all the blame.
"Come on, sweetheart," he ushered her into the coffee house they were conveniently standing in front of.
"Bloody hell you need a new top, I can- do you- I can get you a new one of mine for the time being, my office is right upstairs," he grinned, trying recover from his lack of settling on words to say. Adrianna looked at him with raises brows and a smile.
"I've got clothes right in there, I'll change in the washroom," she pointed at the duffel that still hung on his shoulder and he sheepishly handed it to her, "But you, however, should take yourself up on the offer," she giggled.
"Will do," he murmured, his cheeks flushing once again, "Meet right here once we're done, yeah?" Adrianna nodded before heading off to the washroom.
In the washroom, Adrianna met her appearance in the mirror and gasped. She took in the sight of a girl utterly different from what she'd known. This girl was pale, her eyes were desolate, soulless even, and her face was splotchy from the crying she'd done during her flight. She shook her head, willing herself to keep the tears that were threatening to fall, inside, from what she was becoming as she stripped herself of her sweater and opened her duffel. She pulled out a black crew neck and wasting no time pulling it over her head.
She took paper towels from on of the stalls, dampening it a bit and wiping her face clean. She applied bare mineral powder and a pink lip balm before packing away all her things and zipping up her bags.
Walking out, she looked to the place the boy had told her to meet at but found it empty. Only moments later did her eyes flicker around and caught sight of the stranger, with a dark blue dress shirt this time. waving her over to a small bistro set by the window at the front of the house.
"Well you don't look much like a coffee drink-" The boy started to speak as she approached him but she cut him off.
"So what do I look like?" Adrianna asked, arching an eyebrow.
"A religious tea drinker," the boy snorted, not looking the slightest bit ashamed.
"Well I can't lie there," she muttered and his eyes brightened.
"-er so I got you a hibiscus and rose-hip tea," he finished his previous statement as if she never interrupted and she laughed, taking the seat across from him and putting her backpack and duffel on the wooden floor.
"Thank you," Adrianna said softly, taking a sip.
"No worries, it's my apology for what happened outside."
She rolled her eyes as a smile played on her lips, "It's okay!"
"Alright, alright," he chuckled, holding up his hands.
"You look a bit familiar, what's your name love?" He asked and she still felt her heartstrings pull at hearing the name.
"Wait! My apologies, my manners seemed to have flown out the window, I'm Cavier," he relaxed in his chair as he spoke.
"Adrianna," she smiled.
"Last name," he asked through squinting eyes as he poured nearly half the creamer in his fresh coffee.
"Vasiliev," she giggled when his cup almost ran over.
"Adrianna Vasiliev," he said the name out loud, pondering for a moment, "Bloody hell! Of Vasiliev and Co?"
She nodded happily, bringing her cup of tea to her lips, taking a sip before putting down on the small table, "That would be me, how did you know?"
"Love, you'd be surprised, you're quite the dream in the business world, even in England," he answered.
"So you're apart of the business world too? Who are you, Cavier?" Adrianna asked with interest.
"Cavier Serranos, of Serranos Glasshouse."
"Serranos Glasshouse!" Adrianna said the same time that he did. "Makes sense that you have an office here then. I've heard a bit about you guys once or twice! It must be heaven owning and being the CEO for a publishing house," she smiled.
"If you like reading," he snorted again, "Or else you're kind of lost most of the time," Cavier grinned boyishly.
Adrianna scoffed, "Hardly, reading manuscripts is the easiest thing ever. And if you're an acquisition editor, literally all you're doing is reading and deciding if it's good or not."
"But that's just the problem. I suffer from bookcolepsy-"
"Bookcolepsy?" Adrianna questioned with an amused smile.
"Yes," Cavier huffed, "As soon as I pick up a book or manuscript or even the newspaper and start reading, I fall asleep."
"Oh, you're hopeless," Adrianna snickered.
"I know," he muttered, drinking his coffee.
"So tell me, Ms. Vasiliev, what brings you here to Cambridge, England?
"And don't try to give me bullshit. I can see the pain in your eyes, you're hurt, deeply, and every time I call you love, your face scrunches in the slightest in pain and hurt.
"Much like right now," Cavier stated in nonchalance, giving her a pointed look and Adrianna's palms rushed to cover her face.
"I'm sorry," her voice cracked behind her hands. Cavier leaned across the table and slowly pried her hands from her face.
"Adrianna, you have nothing to be apologising for. Just talk to me, what's the worst that could go wrong spilling your troubles to a stranger over coffee and tea? What's got you thinking so hard since I've met you an hour ago."
"Love," Adrianna found herself muttering.
"Are you chasing someone or running away. Actually don't answer that, I don't think you'd be so hurt if it were the former. What happened, if I may ask?"
"I don't know, honestly Cavier. Sitting here and thinking about it all, I'm not even sure if it was all just a figment of my imagination," Adrianna shrugged, slowly feeling the emptiness spread over her body.
"Adrianna, the more you bottle it in, the more it'll rip you apart limb by limb, so, I'm not asking again, what happened?" Cavier felt a sense of protectiveness with the girl before him. There were merely strangers that had their worlds colliding only but an hour ago. But he didn't see their worlds as just passing through the other's for the time being. He knew there was something more.
And so, that is how Adrianna broke down into a cry, for the first time in front of someone else since it all happened less than twenty-four hours ago. She found herself mindlessly telling, spilling, everything to Cavier—minus her sexual encounters—from the very beginning to the end, yesterday. She finally said Phoenix's word aloud for the first time to herself, and to Cavier, crying as she recited the words forever engraved in her mind.
"He said all those things? To your face?" Cavier asked in disbelief whilst Adrianna merely nodded.
"What a bloody tosser," Cavier said through gritted teeth.
"But I know how you're feeling Adrianna. I know the pain you're feeling, it's like no other, eating you alive from the inside. I suppose that's just part of being a hopeless romantic," Cavier grinned lopsidedly when she glanced at him through her tears, his eyes telling her he was the exact same.
"It just hurts the most, being homesick for arms that I know doesn't want to hold me," she cried weakly and Cavier smiled sadly, feeling her pain travel deep inside of him, taking him down a nostalgic road.
"I promise, you get past it, in time. It's a slow healing process that only you can control. It's okay to feel everything so deeply, though you argue that it's a curse, I promise it isn't. The way you feel so deeply and let your emotions and feelings control you, it shows how much more of a genuine person you are, how pure you are. And that's okay.
"It's okay to be selfish, Adrianna. It's okay to want to take time for yourself. Don't feel guilty for wanting to come above the water and breathe for a little. It's hard not to feel guilty though, I know. You've just left behind your close knitted friends that you call your family, you've just left behind your parents, God rest their souls. But if you think they'd be disappointed, my dear, you are so mistaken. If they were alive, they wouldn't for a second want to see you hold onto pain the way you are now. They would not want to see their baby girl hurting like this. But in time you will slowly heal.
"And once you heal, you will have to go back one day, obviously not now, but in the future. Or else I promise, again, you will never have to closure you so desperately will seek if you haven't been already seeking it. And that, love, will destroy far worse than you've ever been destroyed before.
"Okay?" Cavier stared into Adrianna's eyes, holding her hands in his own, "It's okay to be weak for now, you will only grow stronger from here," he gave her an honest smile.
"Thank you, Cavier," she choked on her tears, looking down and letting her hair create a curtain. Cavier felt his own heart break inside his chest at the sight and tears cloud his eyes.
Adrianna stopped crying after a little while, resorting to just hiccups as she slowly pulled her hands from his hold to wipe her tears.
"I'm sorry, I made you cry," Adrianna said in a wobbly voice, sipping on a glass of water she poured from the pitcher as she watched him wipe his own eyes on his sleeves.
Cavier laughed throatily, "You're sitting before me, a crying mess going through a heartbreak and you're apologising for making me cry?" She nodded, putting on a wide smile.
"Unbelievable," he muttered, laughing again. This time, Adrianna found the heart in her to laugh with him.
§
They continued talking, for nearly half the day. Cavier forgot work, becoming lost in the all too consuming Adrianna Vasiliev whilst Adrianna got lost in him, a soul she felt her own spark a fire with. They shared a sort of bond - a platonic one, if you will - and they genuinely appreciated each other.
With Cavier, Adrianna made plans - for herself and for her life - and decided she'd still take care of Vasiliev and Co. from England for as long as she stayed and she'd put her name in for Cambridge to start in the fall semester, majoring in English and creative writing and minoring in philosophy.
"So I take it you don't have a place to stay?" Cavier asked innocently though he already—and clearly—knew the answer. Adrianna simply shook her head, confirming his thoughts.
"Then I suppose you won't have much to argue with against sharing my flat with me, right love?"
Instead of flinching, scrunching her face, Adrianna found herself embracing the British term with a small smile and Cavier's own eyes brightened at her small change.
But that was before Cavier's words registered in her mind and her eyes widened.
"Oh, I-I don't know, I-"
"It's the very least you could do, you know, after spilling coffee on me," Cavier said knowingly with a subtle smirk, shutting Adrianna up as her cheeks flushed pink.
———
i was only hoping to ace the cliché in this. only two more chapters left!