• • •
Her door slams shut. It echos roughly into the room, and Frisk can't stop herself from flinching. As her eyes subtly scan the room, she notices that everyone seemed to jump a little. The silence was heavy with discomfort, but someone had to make sure it didn't last.
"WE SHOULD ALL GO OUT SOMEWHERE!" Papyrus declares. "IT'S BAD TO BE COOPED UP WHEN YOU DON'T FEEL WELL," he concludes, raising his pointer finger.
"Nah. Just let her keep to herself." Frisk hears Sans mutter hatefully, but rather quietly.
"Maybe we should, if left alone for too long she could do something... irrational," Alphys adds and Frisk's lips press into a thin line.
Can't there be an option somewhere in the middle? She can't imagine having Chara accompany them outdoors. They act as if it's so simple.
Why not? Let's just bring the girl who hates humanity, who's shamelessly murdered everyone in this room. It's not a risk at all!
Frisk can't help the apprehension that overcomes her whenever she thinks of Chara. That little girl who gave everyone who hurt her in the Underground a second chance is still there. She's well aware of the resent her heart kept for Chara, but she doesn't want to leave it there, not forever.
Still, it's all too much right now. Frisk needs time to go about her feelings, time to adjust to rooming with the person who scarred her.
"I think we can all agree, that this is a lot to take in," Toriel's words are firm, and suddenly it's final.
It's a lot for us too, Frisk wants to strike back, but she lets the world spin on without her. Maybe this is what Chara needs. Maybe this is what they both need.
- - -
Chara listens to the trees sway outside her window, leaves brushing gently against each other.
When she first entered the room, she'd hardly noticed any of the furniture. The bed only came into view when the floor grew unbearable for her back. Today, she stumbled upon a desk and chair, centered conveniently with a window that she soon opened.
Her head was still against the painted white wood. She can feel the sun's warm hand on her scalp, and light lay across her body in streaks.
Once the air goes quiet and the tress stop dancing, her mind begins to flow.
Chara's hand subconsciously reaches up to touch her cheek.
Had she really caused Frisk that much pain? Who did she think she was? To use a person as a pawn for her own purposes—it's sadistic, and yet she hadn't seen it.
Chara managed to ignore every aspect of compassion and mercy. What had led her to become such a monster? To find justification in the pain of others?
Chara can't remember what life was like before Frisk. She had a life, then it was over. Suddenly it's back, but now she's empty. There's no feeling anywhere, just hurt. She's been dug out from the inside.
If she'd known being hollow was this painful, she would've stayed etched in the dirt. She would have ignored the pull of Frisk's SOUL.
She wouldn't have woken up.
Chara's grown tired of that awful churning in the pit of her stomach, of that sting behind her eyes, of the wet spots staining her pillow. She just wants it all to go away, but it doesn't. It won't.
She shuts her eyes tight and tries to close herself off, but the inside of her head was persistent. Her brain is always filled to the brim with penetrating thoughts. They were insufferable, painful, and too much.
Chara grips her head, gritting her teeth. "Go away," she hisses.
She hated how the thoughts pushed tears from her eyes, how the wretched feeling was indescribable, how any feeling was indescribable.
There's a knock on the door. The sound that's normally quiet and simple is now loud and invading. Chara snaps her head up, thankfully released from the turmoil. Her breathing is rapid, and her heart is pounding audibly against her chest
Without waiting for a response, the door opens.
"Hey, we're getting ready to head out and—" Frisk's head peeks through, and once Chara's in her line of sight, she tenses. Sweat dotted Chara's forehead and her fingers were making a tangled mess of her hair.
"Chara, what's—"
"Nothing." Chara is quick to fix her light brown disarray, hurriedly running her fingers through the knots once she pries them from her strands. Frisk is still standing there when she's done.
".. what do you want?" Chara tries not to sound rude, to be polite. Beside that she sounds meek, pitiful, a tone she'd been repeatedly reduced to since arriving.
"We're going into to the city, just to walk and shop a little."
"No thanks," she replies quickly. In truth, she would much rather die again than spend time with Frisk and her friends.
That's when she catches Frisk's golden eyes narrow, and realizes she never asked if Chara wants to go or not.
"Can't you just—" Frisk cuts herself off. She looks unstable for a mere second, angry, confused. And it's all directed at Chara.
"FRISK! I, THE GREAT PAPYRUS, HAS DECIDED TO ASSIST YOU IN PERSUADING THE OTHER HUMAN!" Papyrus soon barges in, but they don't break eye contact.
"HUMAN, CHARA, PLEASE CONSIDER—"
"Okay."
"WOWIE! I MUST BE SOME KIND OF MASTER-PERSUADER! THE GREAT PAPYRUS TRULY IS GREAT!" Frisk finally looks away from her, turning to walk out the door.
• • •
Chara ambles slowly behind everyone, eyes glued to the concrete. She found herself unable to stare at the back of everyone's heads, standing, alive. Forced to recognize each death, each mistake. She couldn't be in front either, beside them. She didn't belong there.
The city was bustling with humans, all chattering, all repulsive. Chara feels surrounded at all angles, it was suffocating.
She always categorized humans as heartless monsters, and never dared to consider herself one of them. Now she knows that she is definitely one of them. Chara hurt others and relishes in their pain. She put herself above everyone, she put herself above Frisk. As if she deserved that spot, as if everyone under her wasn't sentient. What was wrong with her?
Everything around her seems to close in. She can't see the sky, she can't breathe the air or feel the sun. But the people around her continue on, stomping, bickering, rushing.
Is this how she made Frisk feel? Trapped, alone in the dark? Was this what Frisk would wake up screaming to nearly every night? The world must've thought it was Chara's turn to scream, to be pulled under.
There's a hand on her. It caresses her shoulder gently, and Chara notices that she had been shaking violently. Her hands are removed from her face, and the darkness turns to light. She hadn't realized she put them there.
"IT'S OKAY CHARA, I'M RIGHT HERE. SOMEONE'S WITH YOU." Her trembling red stare lands on Papyrus, who is smiling down at her. His voice is calm for once. It soothes her mind.
Something resonates, it's fuzzy, and different. Chara's never felt so relaxed, like she could go limp under his touch. Everything is okay, for once.
Then, it's all overshadowed, erased. Chara doesn't understand what's she's feeling, she can't register the look in his eyes, or how his fingers draw de-stressing shapes in her skin. Chara smacks his hand away.
"I don't want your pity," she spat, shoving past him to follow the rest of the group.
That sensation is still fresh in her heart, and it thumps frustratingly faster than before.
- - -
Chara doesn't remember what cities were like back when she was alive, well, the first time she was alive.
She steered clear of places with too many inhabitants, and frankly, she would've lived alone in the woods if food wasn't so hard to find.
In other words, Chara hadn't been inside a store for nearly her entire life.
The boutique reeks of a thousand different nose-torturing perfumes. Sans and Papyrus immediately head somewhere else, and she almost wishes she could've gone with them.
Frisk, Undyne, and Alphys jump into action, splitting up to find outfits for themselves and each other, leaving Chara alone in a rush. She feels incredibly out of place, and is quick to seat herself on one of the lush, cream-colored sofas near the entrance.
There's something about it, being by herself. Watching other groups laugh and try on clothes doesn't make it better. It's similar to the isolation she felt huddled up in her room, but with ten times the discomfort. It's as if everyone walking by is judging her, and if she had more beings beside her, she'd feel less awkward.
Chara scans the clothing racks instead of staring at shoe-adorned feet saunter across the floor. She notices a blue knitted sweater. It looks out of place, all the other garments around it are much more vibrant. It's an array of many blues, mostly dark with few threads of light. They're woven over and under each other, like some sort of twisted harmony. She stares at it for a moment, then turns away, frowning.
"Chara!" Frisk is walking towards her, Alphys and Undyne close behind. Each of them have articles of clothing hanging from their shoulder or forearm. Chara struggles to look occupied, but she didn't have anything to distract herself with, not even a cellphone.
"Well, I remembered that you don't really have anything besides that sweater," Frisk began, visibly uncomfortable. Does her sole presence alter the whole mood?
"Why don't you come with us.. and we'll find you something, okay?"
"No." Chara feels the corners of her mouth twitch. The unruly feeling that had developed in her gut begins to subside, but Chara oddly feels the need to shun them.
She looks away when Frisk's expression shifts. Frisk turned back to Undyne and Alphys, whispering, as if Chara wasn't behind them. Alphys must've said something incredible because there's nodding and smiles.
Then they're off, and Chara tries to push down how good it felt to be acknowledged.
It's nearly an hour before they return, bags in hand.
"Here, Chara. You're going to need something sooner or later, so we just used me as a model." Frisk's voice is unreadable.
Chara eyes the bright yellow bag in the hand outstretched to her, surprise probably evident in her posture. She opens her mouth to respond, meeting Frisk's golden gaze, but no words leave.
Then she sees Frisk's slight smile and snatches the bag from her, rushing towards the exit without so much as a glance. Chara doesn't understand why Frisk would partake in anything that may benefit her. Most likely because it was mandatory, but Toriel could take her out anytime.
There's a faint heat present on her cheeks. Chara feels it, but can't for the life of her understand what it means.
• • •
The parlor is cool and smells ridiculously sweet. Monsters and humans seem to blend together, some mingling in an assorted group, others keeping a healthy distance from the other species. It's almost enough to make Chara's constant glower fade.
She peers into the display window, all the bright flavors like cotton candy and rainbow sherbet make her sick, but her eyes soon landed on mango. It was a yellow-ish color that screams radiance and the sun, and despite irrational amount of vibrancy, it was sort of nice to look at.
It reminded her of golden flowers, and she imagines a meadow full of them. It would be endless fields of vivid yellow, as if the world was constructed of gold and joy.
Joy, Chara thinks, is something she'll never experience again.
In time the color would likely grow stale.
- - -
Chara selects chocolate, given it's the only familiar flavor. She watches the bunny monster scoop the dessert into a small paper cup. She shuffles impatiently, the corner of the bag Frisk had given her brushing against her leg. She'd nearly forgotten about it.
The color is similar to that of the mango ice cream, and she compares them for a moment, holding up the bag and glancing between the two. Both make her feel a certain way, yet the tingle the bag produces is stronger.
Chara absentmindedly accepted the frozen treat from the fluffy, pale blue vendor, the bag keeping a firm grip on her attention. She kept thinking about it, the time Frisk spent, her smile. It might've been just enough for Chara to offer one of her own.
Maybe she did, but if so she couldn't see it. However, someone tall and observant didn't miss the crinkling around her eyes, and Chara was oblivious to their gaze.
• • •
Author's Note
And the inquiry has begun! Watch out Chara, somebone has something planned for you!
And yes, Frisk does in fact regret her actions, but not enough to start treating Chara like some puppy. She's angry, but refuses to be cruel. That just isn't Frisk.
Next chapter will have more interaction, and I hope you enjoy it!
(Hopefully it'll be out next week on Sunday :3)