A tingling sensation begins to radiate throughout Barry's legs. He places his hand over his thigh, smiling as he feels the tracing of his palm and a slight warmth from the touch. He repeats the same motion on the other leg, excitement building as he realized what had returned. He turned to Oliver who had been resting beside him on the bed. He loudly whispered his name.
In reaction, Oliver turned to face Barry and was met with a gleaming smile. His eyes showed confusion yet a slight grin began to appear on his face.
"What's got you so giddy?" Oliver questions.
Barry begins to lightly rub his thighs, keeping his attention on Oliver. "I can feel that!"
"You- you what?" Oliver stutters, immediately sitting up. His smile slowly begins to match Barry's. "You can feel your legs?" Barry, elated, nods. Oliver then raises his hand up with his palm facing Barry. Barry slaps his hand against Oliver's while gleefully laughing, taking a firm grasp on his hand afterwards.
"You're almost there." Oliver tells him grinning, not letting go of his hand. "You'll be out running soon enough."
Barry sports a wide grin, squeezing Oliver's hand tighter. This was the stride in his recovery that they had been waiting for since he had woke from his coma. It had been nearly a month since he had waken up, almost two months since he was shot. There were three crucial steps in his recovery— to wake, be able to feel, and finally be able to walk. He was at the final stage. He could taste the ending of what felt had like a long road.
Time, for the first time in four years, had slowed down for Barry. He had slowed down. He lived day by day because every day was different. He was to meet different goal and a different obstacle to that goal always came in the way. His upper body strength had finally returned. He could put a shirt on without help, he could sit up in bed on his own. These were all once goals that through hard work and rehabilitation, Barry was able to attain.
Run, Barry, Run.
The mantra that has motivated him for a good bit of his life continued to do so. He knew he was one step closer to the one thing that had been on his mind— and that was to run. That thought drove him everyday, it motivated him, helped him through the times where he wanted to quit. He knew that it would become even more crucial as he relearned how to walk.
"Pretty soon," Oliver begins while helping Barry pull on a pair of sweats. "You won't need my help to put on pants."
Barry sighs. "You know you'll miss it."
"I might a little bit." Oliver jokes.
Oliver tosses Barry a tee shirt. He slips it on while speaking. "Oh come on. You know you love dressing me."
Oliver furrows his eyebrows. "It's fine until you don't like the flannel that I pull out of the closet for you."
"Well some days I want to wear a hoodie."
Oliver looks at him with inquisition. He smiles while speaking with a lightly stern tone. "Then tell me before I go through the trouble of pulling a flannel off a hanger!"
"Quit whining, Queen. I'll run you back to Star City the moment I can run again."
Oliver slips his arms underneath Barry's torso and begins to lift him from the bed. "How about I just fly back tonight then?"
"I mean you can but," Barry continues as Oliver pulls him into his chest. "You wouldn't get to do this with me anymore."
"True." Oliver concurs. "This is one of my favorite parts of the day." The two smile at each other as Oliver begins to walk him from the bedroom and down the stairs. They are met by a smiling Iris who stands at the bottom of the staircase, waiting to help put Barry in his wheelchair.
"I want you to pinch my leg." Barry tells Iris smugly, as she and Oliver fasten him into his seat.
Iris shoots him an inquisitive look. "Why would I do that?"
"Just do it."
Iris shrugs her shoulders while shaking her head. She lets out a sigh before reaching down to grab a small heap of the skin on Barry's leg. As Barry feels the pinch, he jumps and lets out an exaggerated grunt of pain. He fakes a look of disdain. "What the hell, Iris? That fucking hurt."
"You told me to! How was I-" Iris begins defensively. A smile begins to form on Barry's lips as Iris slowly comprehends what had just happened. "You felt that?"
Barry nods. "Now how do you feel about yourself? You pinched a cripple."
"That's fucked up, West." Oliver chimes in, jokingly serious.
Iris glares in response before bending over to embrace Barry tightly. She whispers soft words of pride before sternly rising up. She forcefully slaps her palm across Barry's shoulder, causing him to jump and immediately place his hand over the point of impact. "I know you felt that, asshole."
Oliver laughs out loud. "You deserved that one." Barry shoots him a stern look, forcing Oliver to plant a quick kiss on the top of Barry's head out of obligation.
"He's really got you wrapped around his finger, doesn't he?" Iris jokes opening the door. Oliver quickly nods in response as he allows Barry to wheel ahead of him.
————-
Barry squeezed Oliver's hand tightly while taking a firm grasp of the metal railing that stood in front of his chair. He took a deep breath before using the rail to push his body upwards. He felt Oliver give his hand a small tug as well. As he stood, his legs began to feel weak and give out on him. Oliver swiftly placed his arm underneath the pit of Barry's arm and keeps him from falling on the ground.
He helps him back into the wheelchair. Dismayed, Barry begins to speak. "I can't do it, Ollie. I can't."
"It's your first time trying to walk in over a month." Oliver encourages. He places his hand on his shoulder. "You're going to get it. I believe in you." Barry smiles meekly before placing his hands back on the railing. With Oliver telling him words of assurance, he pulls himself up. "There you go!"
Barry takes a deep breath before slowly moving his right leg forward. He feels it stumble slightly as he shifts his weight into the ball of his foot. Tingling sensations shoot up and down his leg. He wanted to just allow the weight of his body to collapse and fall onto the ground below. As he tried to do so, he felt Oliver take hold of both of his hands.
"Don't give up on me, Allen." Oliver tells him intently. As the tingling intensified, so did his heart beat. He kept his eyes on the ground as he stared to breath harder. Oliver took a firmer grasp of his hand. "Look at me!"
"You can do it."
He let out a breathy whimper before allowing his weight to shift from the ball of his foot to his toe. He dragged his left leg forward, having the same struggles with transferring weight. He could hear Iris encouraging his steps behind him, with his sights set on a smiling Oliver leading him forward. He slowly was able to take a brief step before his legs gave out on him and he fell into Oliver's grasp. Oliver carefully brings himself and Barry to the ground.
"You did it." Oliver tells him proudly. "You did it."
Breathing heavily, he allows himself to lay on Oliver's lap. He covers his face with his palms as he tries to control his breathing. "The hardest steps are the firsts, right?" He remarks as his breath intake becomes normal.
"Why is it so difficult for me to walk?" Barry asks Caitlin. She was helping him perform leg lifts as he was struggling.
"You have not been using your legs at all in your recovery," she begins. "A lot of the muscles have become weak and stiff. These exercises and more walking should speed up the strengthening process."
"Is his quick-healing not making a difference?" Iris asks as she observes.
Caitlin nods. "I think we just needed to trigger it. He's already able to do more with his legs now than he was when we started earlier."
"So you think I could be back out running by this time next week?" Barry asks with a hint of impatience.
"We'll see."
The day continued with Caitlin doing some simple stretches and movements with Barry's legs. Barry struggled through most of it. The tingling sensations radiated through his legs every time he moved them. It was normal and to be expected. Yet it didn't make it any less frustrating.
Oliver stood by his side the whole way. He watched the grimaces form on his face. He heard to grunts and cries of frustration as Barry struggled to use his legs. Every indication of pain that came from Barry broke off a piece of Oliver's heart.
He was silent as Oliver lifted him back into his chair. He sulked his shoulders in defeat.
"You'll get there, Barry." Oliver encouraged him. "It'll just take time."
Time wasn't on Barry's side. He knew it. It ticked by slower and slower. His recovery seemed to have come to another halt. He felt like he had been working incredibly hard in his rehabilitation for it to be going nowhere. He was ready to walk again. He was ready to be back out into the field.
The next days we're much better— he was able to take up to five steps as opposed to the one he had taken the first day. The exercises were still just as difficult to perform as they had previously been. Barry's spirits continued to dwindle.
He let out his frustrations when he and Oliver returned to the West home, letting out a moaning yell after Oliver set him into the bed. The yell echoed throughout the hallway.
Oliver gave him a look of concern. "Barry, you're going to be okay."
"But I'm not, Ollie." Barry tells him coldly. Desperation seeps into his tone. "I'm not."
Oliver tried to speak words of encouragement to Barry but his attention was glued to the wall ahead of him. His eyes were glazed over as if he was staring into an abyss. He wasn't listening— even if he was, he didn't believe a word Oliver was saying. It was almost as if Oliver was talking to himself.
Oliver clenches his fist and brings them to his forehead as he walks out the door of the bedroom. He solemnly walks down the stairs. He feels tears of stress trickle down his forehead.
He couldn't take it anymore.
-/-
Oliver feels his heart beat rapidly. The sweat from his palms feels as if it is forming a puddle on his jeans. He takes a deep breath before continuing to speak.
"My partner can finally feel his legs again. He has been going through intensive rehab and therapy for four days now." He bites his lip. "He is making progress but it isn't at the rate he wants. He's really struggling with it."
"I hate seeing him like this." Oliver stops speaking to swallow the lump that had formed in his throat. "He was elated when he woke up to have feeling in his legs. He had so much hope in his eyes, so much joy.
And now it feels like we're emotionally back at square one. He comes home defeated. He won't say much to me. It's killing me."
He feels tears begin to roll down his face. "I'm twenty days sober. But lately I have been so tempted to pick up a bottle and drown myself in it. I had a glass poured last night but my partner needed me to help him to the bathroom so I threw it out."
"I just need the pain to go away."
Oliver hears and looks attentively at the other alcoholics who shared their struggles. When in truth, he was wallowing in his own misery. He worried whether or not Barry would get better. Whether or not their relationship would outlast the struggles it had been put through in its short period of time.
He worried about himself. He didn't think that he could stay sober anymore. The urge and desire to go to the bar and get a drink was consuming him. He needed it. He needed the numbing. He needed the ability to forget.
He slowly stood up. As he walked out, he felt the air blow onto his cheeks. There were trails of tears that he had just noticed. He must have been crying. It was just something he was getting used to.
He walked out the door and stood beside it, soaking in the moment of solidarity. No one was looking at him. No one was talking to him. It was just him and his thoughts. He put his face into his hands and allowed himself to sob. Fear, worry, and desire had completely overcome him. He couldn't physically take it anymore.
"Ollie?" He heard a voice call out to him. He moved his hands from his eyes, seeing Barry waiting for him by the curb.
He uses his hands to wipe the wet tears from his face. He clears his throat before speaking. "What are you doing here?"
"Iris wanted me to come with her to get you." Barry tells him. "She was worried when you asked her to come pick you up." Oliver had texted Iris before the meeting started. He needed someone to drive him home in the case that he went to the bar to drink.
"Were you planning on drinking?"
Oliver begins to deny it. But he couldn't. He squats down and takes Barry's hands in between his. He brings them to his forehead and lets out a breathy sob. "I can't do it, Bear. I can't."
"You can't do what?" Barry questions softly.
Oliver brings his attention to him, tears stain his cheeks. "I'm so sorry. I have tried so hard to stay strong-- for you. But I need it so badly."
"Hey!" Barry tells him sternly. "You're going to be okay. We're going to be okay. None of this was supposed to be easy."
"I didn't expect it to be so hard."
"Well neither did I!" Barry tells him sharply. "You have not let me quit." He takes his hands from Oliver's grip, using his hand to lift Oliver's sulking chin to him. "I am not going to let you quit either."
Oliver lets out a laugh of disbelief. "You're in a wheelchair and giving me a pep talk because I can't keep my shit together."
"Well," Barry takes a glance at his legs before looking back up at Oliver. "My shit is obviously not together either. So let's make it better— together."
Oliver smiles as Barry places his hands on Oliver's cheeks, bringing his face closer to his. Oliver feels tears steadily fall down his cheeks. "I love you." He whispers shakily. "So much."
"I love you too." Barry tells him strongly, bringing him in for a lingering kiss. In that moment, Oliver and Barry believed that they could— and would— get better.
-/-
Days had passed and Barry was continually making more strides, quite literally actually. He could walk with his hands along the railing and a little bit with a cane. He was able to perform the strengthening exercises without help from Caitlin.
His abilities were finally kicking in.
Barry takes a deep breath. He can feel his legs and arms tremble in fear as he slowly stands up from his wheelchair. He gains his footing with the help of a cane. He slowly brings his right foot forward, allowing to gently glide across the floor, doing the same with the other. He looks up at Oliver in front of him, who stood at the end of the track smiling ear to ear.
"Keep going, Bear." He tells him.
Barry feels more momentum in his feet as his steps become quicker and more fluid. The cane was becoming less and less of an aid as he was nearly walking on his own. Iris follows him on the opposing side of the railing, encouraging him. "You're almost there!"
As he takes his final step, he immediately starts laughing. A smile radiates from his lips as well as his eyes. He tightly wraps his arms around Oliver who mimics the motion. They stand there together, embracing one another with an abundance of joy. A peace comes about both of them.
Oliver pulls his head to where it's within inches of Barry's, tears layer his eyelids. "I'm so proud of you."
"And I'm proud of you." Barry tells him. Oliver pulls him back in for another embrace. The room had erupted. Iris waited patiently beside the two men to have her time to hug her friend. Caitlin stood on the other side of the room, smiling proudly not only for her patient but her friend as well. Joe watched fondly as his celebrated this milestone with two of the people he loved most in Oliver and Iris.
"Share the love now, Oliver, come on." Iris joked, tapping his shoulder lightly.
Barry was proud of himself. He could walk. He could finally walk. Even if it was with a cane, he could use his legs for an extended amount of time. He could be independent. He was so close to having a sense of normalcy once again.
He was days from finally being able to run again— to be The Flash. To serve the justice he believed the criminals who were poisoning his city deserved. He had been trapped in his thoughts for far too long and finally, he was physically able to act on these thoughts.
Hugging and smiling with his loved ones was only a reminder. A reminder of why he was doing this. He was doing this to protect them. His goal as The Flash was always to protect the city he loved and the people he loved. He failed to do so previously. He knew it.
His mission was just now getting started.
A/N: We're getting to the nitty gritty and you are not prepared. Stay tuned. Shits about to get crazy.
Thanks for bearing with me.