not edited
— drita e hënës —
(n) moonlight
origin ; albanian
Standing up in the Jeep Wrangler with our heads out of the roof and our hands in the air, Pyper and I screamed at the top of lungs with the chill breeze whipping our hair in our face. The guys—still seated in the said sport vehicle—all laughed throatily at us and our wild behaviour. We stayed that way for a few more prolonging moments, enjoying the salty breeze coming from the turquoise lakes on our right. Not long after did I fall back into Phoenix's lap and Pyper fell back into Talon's.
Judah—riding shotgun and having control over the music—was currently blasting Vámonos by Kris Kross Amsterdam, Ally Brooke, and Messiah as Blake cruised us down the empty roads of New Zealand with one hand on the wheel.
New Zealand, bloody right; we were currently in New Zealand, celebrating Pyper's birthday and the end of summer. Wide smiles were plastered on all of our faces and as we passed by and gazed at the scenery, I knew exactly why Pyper wanted to celebrate here. The artist in her screamed out and longed for sights other than what Florida gave her, and seeing the snow capped mountains before us in the distance and the magnificent fjords to our left, this is just what she wanted, the inspiration she needed.
I glanced over to her, seeing her gleaming eyes and a ring of sincerity in them saying thank you, for she knew I was the one that brought this whole trip together and I gave her a subtle nod with a genuine smile as if to say you're welcome, always.
Phoenix's calloused hands squeezed my exposed thighs gently and I looked at him over my shoulder with an eye crinkling smile. He pulled me into him, flush against his chest and he pressed his lips softly against my bare shoulder—since I had only been wearing a ribbed knit halter top—and I turned back to face the scenery. I also glanced around at all of my friends—my family—in the Jeep, and cracked a grin, wondering just how the hell the nine of us managed to fit when it was meant for five. But I guess we made it work - with me on Phoenix's lap, Pyper on Talon's, Eliezer on Marlowe's, and Hunter squishing the back with us.
We made it back to our hotel at half part four, parting our own ways to our own rooms, but not before finalising our plans to explore the Waitomo Glowworm Caves and then later going to Lake Tekapo to watch the Aurora Australis—The Southern Lights.
§
"Jesus Christ," I hissed, typing away angrily on my Macbook, "I said 53.3 million, not 33.3, Garrett."
"I-I'm sorry, Ms. Vasiliev," he stuttered over the phone.
"I don't care," I said through gritted teeth, "I'm not going forward with any proposals, the deal is off," my voice rang with my finality.
"Ms. Vasiliev, if-"
"Goodbye, Mr. Moretti."
Just as I hung up and nearly slammed my sleek rose gold cell on the desk, Phoenix walked out of the en suite that came with the chamber, only wrapped in a towel. Our eyes met for a split second before he looked away with a scowl etched on his soft lips and I felt my heart drop in my stomach.
The week was blurring past us, stopping for no one. Today was our sixth day—penultimate before we leave—here in New Zealand and things have slowly become a whirlwind of a mess, a whirlwind of broken pieces.
Phoenix, for one, was slowly changing, slipping into his brooding bastard facade. His jealousy and possessiveness was becoming overwhelming, overpowering, making my head spin and driving me insane. Everything seemed to bother him when we went out, with the crew or without them, and he knew no limit.
There were many times he had caught me glancing at a boy or returning a kind smile—while I was sitting in his bloody lap—and would possessively attack my lips no matter where we were, marking his territory. And his controlling and dominant demeanor was surfacing heavily as well - telling me what I could and couldn't wear, and even stopping us from leaving our suite until I changed.
Our relationship was slowly slipping through my fingers and I wasn't sure I had it in me to salvage what was left of us. We were slowly, but surely, drifting apart, falling apart, and I was at a loss. We could barely meet each other's eyes, let alone have a proper conversation lately and though I masked the pain I felt from his detachment, his hold on me wherever we went was bruising, making it unforgettable that I was his.
Though I repressed the hurt I felt in front the crew, feigning happiness and putting on a wide smile, I couldn't hide it behind closed doors—evident with the copious amount of times I've cried myself to sleep or cried in the shower these past few days. In the past six days, I've learned everything between us was ever-changing, shifting, and I wasn't sure I could handle the heartache that would come with finding out why.
Questions swirled around my mind, on an endless loops, haunting me in my every breathing second and I was struggling to hold on to myself - what changed? in six days, what happened? will we be able to fix ourselves? can we fix our broken pieces and let go?
Phoenix was a concept of his own, driving me to the edge of my own sanity. Meanwhile, the company was another complication. Though this adventure was meant to be worry free and give us all a refreshed sense of vitality, I seemed to be the living embodiment of tortured and agonised. I was, once again, on a spiral downward. The company merely seemed to be my source of stress and anger—mainly the former—and the brute I currently shared a room with was only fueling the said exasperation. Outside our suite, I let go a bit, my carefree and wild spirit flared ardently, but inside our suite, I worked tirelessly, unrelentingly.
But I wasn't so sure what I was working for anymore - the company or to save Phoenix and I.
Sighing in distress, I rested my elbow on the mahogany desk and my head in my palm, massaging my temples. I heard him shifting around behind me - most likely through our suitcase for clothes - and decided against turning back to look at him, already knowing he'd meet my gaze with a glare. My MacBook went off with a dull ding letting me know I've just received a fresh email and switching over to the tab of my inbox, I internally groaned seeing Cambridge University and Florida State University as the sender. The stress and anxiety of the start of university being nearer and nearer hit me like a tonne—like the waves crashing against the shore—each morning I woke up.
Tomorrow would be our last day here, in what was supposed to be a paradise getaway, but every fibre in my body was just screaming to be home again. My mind screamed out desperately for a calmness amongst the raging chaos brewing inside my being, for an end to my inner turmoil - but salvaging a soul that was damned from the start had never been wise.
§
"Adrianna, let's go," Phoenix's dark and rather malicious voice came behind me and I jumped slightly, startled. His arm came around my waist before I could think in a tight grip and a soft whimper escaped my lips as his fingers prodded into my flesh through my - his - crew neck. He glared at me, his eyes flaring in anger as his nostrils flared and I stared him, crinkling my forehead and absolutely confused as to what I did.
We were all at the baggage claim, waiting on our suitcases but it seemed he already picked out ours. The crew stood a mere foot or two away from us and before I could speak, he had already began to whisk me away. Looking back over my shoulder, I caught Blake's narrowed gaze in our direction and I mouthed a sorry before turning back and looking ahead of me.
The car ride from the airport back to the Worthington's mansion was dreadful and misery filled. The atmosphere surrounding us was no longer love filled and wondrous, but now entirely thick, I wasn't sure even a knife could slice through it.
It was eerily silent, he hadn't even bothered to turn on the radio, and while he had a death grip on the steering wheel which had his knuckles turning a pale white, I kept my gaze locked on everything we cruised past, leaning my head against the window. All throughout the ride, he kept one hand on my jean clad thigh in a - yet again - bruising manner and I no longer knew what it symbolised - his love for me, or his claim on me.
Stepping through the mansion, I barely had time to think before he came right behind me again, murmuring "My room," in a deathly tone. I listened, walking down to the end of the corridor that led to only our rooms before turning left into his. Dropping my Kate Spade backpack on his swivel chair, I walked over to his bed and took a seat on the edge. I watched him intently as his dropped our suitcase and duffel bag in front of his bed before glancing around his room with a permanent glare and scowl etched on his face.
The questions from yesterday, from the past week, swirled in my mind as I watched him - what changed? in seven days, what happened? will we be able to fix ourselves? can we fix our broken pieces and let go?
"Phoenix," his name left my mouth in a choked sob entirely by accident. His eyes flashed to mine in a split second, turning icier than seconds before seeing my own clouded over by tears kept at bay.
"What, Adrianna?" He asked through gritted teeth and I finally broke down.
"Why- what happened," I cried, burying my face in my hands.
"What happened to us," I asked through my sobs. What happened to my cold exterior?
"Bloody hell," he hissed and a set of body wracking sobs ripped through me. Why was I so weak?
"I need a drink," he muttered before walking out of his bedroom, walking away from me. And I felt my heart shatter in my chest.
That's just the thing about love, you let them get away with murder, even if it's your own.
I stood up, swaying slightly and wiping my teary face on the sleeves of my sweater. I was more than ready to chase after him and demand answers, until I got to the door and halted my footsteps. My head suddenly started to spin, - worse than ever before - I felt terribly lightheaded, I couldn't see straight as my vision blurred, I couldn't hear clearly as my hearing became muffled, and I knew what was coming my way.
The anxiety, pressure, and stress that I've been prolonging the thought of actually dealing with was finally hitting me, consuming me until I was but the epitome of a lost soul. My thoughts that had continuously been eating me alive was finally getting to me, everything was just crashing down on me, all, at, once.
"PHOENIX!" I screamed as I lost my balance and collapsed to the ground, succumbing to the darkness.
mere minutes later
"Adrianna! Wake up, please," a voice laced with desperation pleaded while they shook my shoulder hurriedly. My eyes shot open and I lurched forward, sitting upright. My chest heaved up and down rapidly as I took deep breaths.
"Joder, what happened," I rasped out and looked around me worriedly. I was in Phoenix's room, in his bed and-
"You collapsed," came his breathless reply and my head snapped to my right to see him sitting only centimetres away from me. He stared at me with wide eyes and worried irises and I found myself shifting away from him slightly to put more space between us; hurt now flashed in his clear blue irises, replacing the worry. Wonders he didn't go ballistic.
"Here, drink this," he offered a glass of orange juice with a hesitant smile. I took it, downing the glass within seconds before shaking my head frantically, pushing the glass back in his hand and tumbling out of the bed and into his en suite and kneeling in front of the toilet. I brought back up the liquid I drank before I was just dry heaving, my chest and stomach aching to no end.
His rough fingers grazed the skin of my neck as he pulled my hair back and I just kept coughing and retching. And then I started to cry.
"Adrianna, you're looking a deathly pale," he said in a warning tone, "I'm-"
"I, I can't breathe," I heaved out breathlessly, "Everything hurts, my head, my chest, my stomach, my heart," I choked out as I cried in pain.
"911, what's your emergency?" I heard the operator on his phone.
"I n-need someone, now!" He answered in a panicking tone.
"What's your emergency sir? We're tracing this call as..." I slipped in and out of consciousness catching onto a few words.
"M-My girlfriend, she's..." I faded out of consciousness as he spoke and fell to the ground, taking me in his arms.
"...Her breathing isn't..."
"Phoenix," I whispered weakly, "I'm going to black out again."
"Adrianna, don't leave me," he begged. "No! Her eyes are shutting... blood... drained from... face."
"Her pulse is faint!" I heard his bellowing voice as I slowly lost more and more of myself.
"Adrianna, stay with me," he demanded, shaking me gently and my eyes shot open for a second as I gasped for air before they closed again.
"Address...79153 Troy Drive.
"Adrianna!" He screamed helplessly, crying my name out repeatedly as I tried to keep taking deep breaths, though constricted. I have no idea how long after, but I heard the sirens of ambulance and Phoenix stood up with me in his arms, staggering a bit before walking us out of his en suite and bedroom and into the living room, setting me on the sofa.
Moments later did the bell ring and the sirens sounded just outside the mansion and he left my side to open the door. Paramedics came rushing in, taking sight of me laying on the settee and hurriedly came to me, hovering over my violently trembling body.
"We're losing her!" A voice shouted.
I closed my eyes for the last time, surrendering to the darkness calling my name.
———
my apologies, i'm not exactly all about these sort of traumatic events and i tend to shy away from anything medical related so this scene might be a bit inaccurate ?