ELEANORA'S POV
Will. Where is Will? Maybe he is lost. Maybe Tessa is injured. Maybe he is injured.
I keep feeding myself excuses for why he isn't here. The automatons have retreated, and Caspian, his friends, Taylor and I found refuge in a house at the edge of the town. Caspian and the other man had dragged the bodies out. Dumped them in the collected pile.
Taylor said he saw his parents murdered in front of his eyes. Too young for that. He's only twelve.
"So," I finally say, lifting my head to glare at my brother's new friends. "We haven't been properly introduced."
Caspian cuts me a look. "Don't be harsh, El."
I raise an eyebrow. I've seen the way Caspian looks at the girl. I've never seen him look at anyone that way.
"I have the very right to be harsh right now," I snap, and then regret it, but don't let it show.
I've been seeing Caspian's Friend-the man-shooting me lingering looks this whole time.
Caspian makes an annoyed sound, then gestures to the girl. "This is Violet. That's her Brother, Jamie."
I raise an eyebrow at them. "Are you hiding something from me, Caspian?"
"Hold up, blue eyes," The guy says, eyeing me. "How about you introduce yourself first. It's only fair."
I scowl at him, reminded of Will's eyes. "Firstly, my eyes are blue green. Secondly, you call me that again, and I won't hesitate to throw a knife at you. Are you two even Shadowhunters?"
"Ella," Caspian warns.
I glance over to where Taylor lays on my lap, fast asleep.
"We are," The girl-Violet-says. "We're from America."
"How interesting," I say, scowling at her. "I'm Eleanora Nightstorm. I'm not exactly in the most best of moods right now so please do start explaining."
"Nightstorm," The guy says. "You're Caspian's Sister."
I spread my arms wide. "Pleasure meeting you."
"Dad was here," Caspian says, and my head snaps to his direction. "I met Violet and Jamie a while ago, back in London. I got tipped off that dad was headed here. I came right away, after visiting you at the Institute."
I scowl. "You should have told me."
"Why are you here? And where's Will?" Caspian demands.
I clench my fists. "I couldn't let Will come alone. Jem is dead, Caspian. I treated him like a Brother. The least I could do is get his fiancé back safely. And Will is his parabatai. Was. You think I could let him go through this himself?" It's then I realise hot tears are streaming down my face.
I want to scold myself, but it's like Jem is suddenly in front of me, silver hair falling down, looking at me with fond silver eyes.
"It's okay to cry sometimes, Ella. It shows that you have a heart." He told me that once.
I imagine him saying that now as he slowly wipes away my tears with that kind understanding smile of his. My heart breaks.
Caspian sucks in a breath. "You let him go. You let him go to Mortmain himself to help me."
I stand slowly, resting Taylor's head on the pillow. "Don't think I'm not going after him. You can't stop me."
Caspian sighs, almost in a tired manner. "I may not be able to, but I can convince you, Ella."
I shake my head. "I don't think so. What could be more important to me?"
"Dad is here. He is helping Mortmain. He is about to do something awful," Caspian says.
I freeze, watching him closely. "What?" I demand.
"He's going to help Mortmain," Caspian chews on his lower lip. "He has blackmailed Downworlders with their secrets to guard Tessa. And Mortmain's little hideout. Will may be able to get in, but he wouldn't be able to get out."
I feel the colour draining from my face as a sick feeling settles in my stomach.
"No," I say, shaking my head. "We need to help them."
"Any bright ideas?" Jamie asks.
I fidget with my fingers, frowning. "We take out the king and his soldiers will fall. The Downworlders won't risk going against Nephilim. Not unless they have something to hide. If we take dad out, they will retreat," I say. "Then we won't have to break the Accords or have to fight more."
"We need to either clear the way for Will and Tessa or at least warn them," I say, biting down on my lower lip.
"So?" Caspian asks me, leaning forward, resting his head on his hand. "What's the plan?"
"We need to tell Charlotte. Fire message, if possible," I say. "They need to meet us here, hopefully with the Enclave, or even better, the Clave."
"Consul Wayland probably isn't going to allow that," Caspian says bitterly. "You heard him the other day. And you shouted at him."
"You shouted at the Consul?" Jamie asks, eyes wide.
I raise an eyebrow. "Do you have anything you wish to say about that?"
Jamie grins. "Nothing. I just found it rather amazing."
I give him a curt nod. "Thank you. Now, I will write to Charlotte. I know where Mortmain is. I need all three of you to find out exactly how many Downworlders we will be facing."
Caspian nods. "Good idea. But we need rest, Ella. You yourself seem exhausted. Had you gotten much rest riding here?"
I remember Will's arms around me, and ache for the familiarity of his body against mine, the warmth radiating from him, his constant breathing above my head.
"No," I say, frowning. "You rest. I will keep watch. We can alternate."
Caspian narrows his eyes at me and nods. "We will set out when the sun starts to set. Wake me up when it's one in the afternoon."
I don't nod, instead searching for paper to write on.
I watch as Jamie disappears into a room, and Caspian follows Violet into another.
I think of Caspian having a partner in life. I just got my Brother back, and now another girl is going to claim him. I always-though I didn't realise-thought that after we killed our dad, Caspian would find peace living in the Institute, as I had.
Now, seeing him with Violet, I'm scared. Scared that I will lose my Brother again. I remember how lost I felt when he had disappeared. Only Jem had been able to quench that feeling of absence, the feeling of not being good enough to be a reason for Caspian to stay, regardless of the Geritch and my dad.
Coward, I had once told Will. He left because he was a coward.
What I had meant was that he left because he just didn't love me enough. I was the coward.
Jem. Jem I need you.