'You painted colours in my heart
I could never replace'
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Rudra's POV
Trees. Every where trees- tall and green, high as the sky and huge to have a world of their own.
Many little lives growing and thriving on them.
Trees are known for their wisdom, they stand tall no matter what situation, hide deepest secrets within. They live ages for us, has seen a lot, both good and bad, happiness and sorrow, laughter and cry.
They have seen my memories too, are keeping them as our little secret.
The memories I will treasure till I die, till I have her back with me to make new. I'm determined this time to have her all to me, to never lose her back.
Once again I'm in these woods, hoping to give them one more memory to treasure. Just hope this time nothing gets ruin.
This was a beautiful evening at the very beginning of November, I was on a break- a temporary break from everything. Going back to the place where I wish I wouldn't have ever returned. Only If.
This was happening once again, once again I was going to Kasol, to the place where it all started, where I found a part of me which was never seen by anyone. Hell, never seen by me either.
I was territorial? No one ever knew!
Even my mother never knew. I could be held home this long, no one was aware. Someone is capable of doing something to me? It was a world famous question for me though.
She had that power over me.
That time I was on my usual break when my sister and our common friends came up with the idea of that beautiful trip, that trip which changed my point about life.
My sister, Ruhani, was not allowed to go alone, so I was asked to accompany her, we being twins, never had problem with friends group, we always had the same gang.
When we reached Kasol, I was introduced to new people, I was familiar with my sister's best friend but never knew she had a 3 years younger sister. Manzar.
She was there with us because apart from being younger, Manzar and a few of her friends were a part of our group as well.
Manzar has her ways to get into everyone hearts- especially mine.
When I was first introduced to her, there was something about her which was holding me to stare- she didn't notice though.
This time I'm going back to the place where we first met, once again going to meet her after these five years, I wonder how she looks now. I haven't seen her after that night- still have her old pictures with me, the pictures that are my lifeguard to hold on.
Every time when I'm alone all to myself, all I think of is HER, her smile, her eyes, her voice, her laugh, her warmth and now her absence around me.
I was in love, the moment I saw her looking at me in horror, when I was rappelling down the small hill, her eyes filled with concern, totally unaware of the fact that I was used to that
She thought it was an accident when we kept on meeting unexpectedly- but she didn't know it was all intentional from my side.
My favourite part about that trip was when we share those eye contacts without being noticed by anyone-talking in our own language. She blushes every time she notices me staring.
Then our meetings turned planned, we use to meet late in the evening or early in the morning to do all the activities that were planned by our friends for the day. I was habitual but she was terrified every single time, but whenever she was with me I always tried to give her the strength and courage she needed.
I like the feeling of being her rock.
When the trip ended I was the one who was devastated but she was fine, without sharing numbers she left.
I tried to search her on social media and did find her, she was there in my sisters common list but not in mine.
I wanted to send her request, firstly decided to ask for her sister's permission first, I shared my true intentions with her and my own sister a day before and was more than ecstatic when I was granted with the permission.
We talked and it was the best thing that ever happened to me, the first time in my break. Two months passed like that in pure bliss, and then I came to the conclusion that I'm indeed in love. Obviously with her.
This time I'll get her back, by hook or crook, it's now her choice to be with me or to leave me after knowing about my life. It was always her place to decide, my cowardice taught me.
The trip is well planned and I'm going to take the best use of it.
.
.
.
After coming back from the nearby market I was certain by that time her face will be there in front of me, I handed the bags to Ruh, but my eyes were looking for her face and then Ruh joined Veer, her husband, together they made their way to the unlit bonfire.
Urvi walked up to me, hugged me, whispered in a mild tone that my eyes are reflecting my desperation; her words were quite different though.
Blinking without holding back my curiosity I asked her right away,
"She is here!?" sounded more like I'm stating than asking.
Urvi snorted, "She is here, right now gone to bring sticks"
"You are ready to tell her about your little secret?", after all it was Urvi who has planned this trip. Apart from Seher.
"Not yet, but I'm sure she is going to choke me to death once she knows"
I chuckled knowing her best friend very well, and she left.
"Manzar where are you? What is taking you so long?", Urvi's voice booming in concern, as soon as she left me.
Just then my eyes rested on a girl, with her dark brown hair till the small of her waist, long and wavy, parted from behind and resting in the front, strands covering half of her face, not to hide, but as a part of her still holding habit, her head held high showing she is unaffected by my presence - all fake, she can't hide it from me.
Her golden skin still the same, eyes downcast never leaving their gaze from the ground, arms clutching the small wooden stack to her side, and legs moving faster, avoiding any eye contact and just then she looked up.
Breathe.
Rudra!
Just fucking breath!
This face again, I was prepared, but never prepared enough, never imagined all the preparation will go into vain the moment I'll catch her eye.
If she was beautiful earlier now she is gorgeous.
This face can never fade from my memory. She is breathtaking, those brown eyes- sober like ever, that same round nose- cuter like ever, this time to their right side there is a silver nose ring.
I figure she is grown up now, more beautiful. Not a girl but a lady.
The stack she was holding fell from her hand and she stood frozen on her spot, her eyes were now again downcast, I rushed, crouched down to pick them up soon joined by Urvi, she smacked her leg for no reason.
"I'm so sorry. I don't know it just slipped out of my grip." she mumbled
"It's ok I understand."
I replied because I know what going on in her head.
Just then her expression soured, eyes now cold and distant, no other emotion but anger and ready to ask all those questions but mouth kept sealed.
Coming out of her reverie, she too picked up a stick, I hardly think anything was left.
She was looking cute holding a half broken stick in her hand, we kept the small stack on the ground near the bonfire and she was right behind me, with a still downcast gaze. It took all my courage to hold myself back from pulling her closer.
We almost bumped, she pulled a step back within instant not wanting to touch me and I tucked my hands inside my pocket, unable to hold back the urge to pull her closer.
Urvi and Ruhani noticed everything but didnt utter a single word, Manzar smiled weakly at them before keeping that small-half-broken-stick to the stack.
.
.
.
.
We were eating our dinner, sitting across the bonfire all in a circle with the cold breeze of Kasol surrounding us.
Manzar was sitting beside her best friend and was busy talking about something, she was smiling – a fake smile and I know Urvi was well aware of that.
I know she has grown a thick brick wall around her, trying to be tough and rough still she can't hide the girl soft as cotton, tender as a feather inside her.
The girl I have fallen in love with. She is trying to be tough, hard in front of me, the façade she is pulling is not working here on me and she knows that, which is making her more frustrated. More nervous.
Urvi's eyes time to time were resting on us, I and Vansh, well, no one know better, it was all planned, planned to break their engagement news here to us, these two are in love from past two years and now getting married soon.
"Um... Vansh eat more than drinking your soft drink," Urvi eyed him, catching everyones attention, "And eat slowly."
"Ooooh"
came from everywhere, that cooing sound made me laugh on my seatmate.
Realizing what she just said out loud, she gulped and drank her own water, hiding her now burning cheeks.
The trip had a motive, a goal set to break their engagement news, but the thing hidden from others and known to a few was to help me get her back. Rather not talk about the mastermind though.
Just then once again my eyes rested on my love and I saw her real smile, but it was hidden behind those fake curtains she was wearing, and I'm determined to pull them off and bring that Manzar back to me.
"Bhai, after this let us do something entertaining"
After keeping my plate on the ground to a side, I asked him, "What do you have in mind?"
"I was thinking how about a story, A horror story?"
Few whined and a few nodded in agreement.
So as decided, we ended up listening two horror stories (Fake! For sure) both from one person, and that was Vansh, itself.
The whole time his fiancé was clutched to him, both wrapped in a single blanket just like other couples, like my sister and her husband, leaving me and Manzar alone. We were the only singles here with them – the nerve-wracking it was.
Manzar was half listening, half lost during the story, wrapped in her dark blue fluffy blanket alone without me.
I have heard from her sister and her friends that now she is a corporate lawyer, well settled and independent, capable of taking care of her own self. She has grown mature, but this was the maturity they've never expected.
"I'm cold! Lets go to sleep."
"Let me correct that."
Came Vanshs cheesy reply, Urvi groaned but that smile was a traitor. He pulled her to his chest offering his warmth, blushing Urvi hide her face in his embrace.
I looked from my peripheral view at Manzar and she rolled her eyes at their lovey-dovey act, and I held back a smile too, she is still the same.
Always cringing over couples, for her, clingy- cheesy couples are something she likes to run from, it's not like she doesn't like romance, it's just that she is more of an emotional bond maker than the person who expresses.
She never express but always searching for a house for her big heart.
She believes in forming bonds and holding onto them till her life, she is the kind of girl who gets attached to every single thing, the girl who talks to her garden plants to let her emotions out, indirectly growing the plant happier and sadder with her. Yes, they get attached to her too.
Shaking my head on my own faults, I tucked the basketball cap tightly on my head- out of habit, settled myself on the ground now more near the fireplace to get started with arranging the strings of my guitar. The partner to my loneliness.
Ruhani cleared her throat and I looked at her, flaring her nostrils she half glared and motioned me to do something.
I deadpanned.
I mean what does she want me to do and that too right now?
I raised my eyebrow when her glare persisted, she sighed defeated, "Fine. Guys, I think we should sleep now, its almost midnight and we have to get up early."
"Yeah!"
"Hmm"
Resonated from all around,
"So I guess the sleeping arrangements are all clear." She continued clapping her hands.
Again everyone nodded in agreement,
"Of course!" Vansh groaned
"Shut up Vansh!" came from Urvi, I and Manzar altogether
"Of course you would want me to shut up, Manzar, you are sleeping with your best friend and my girlfriend and I'll be sleeping with this Dickhead, who will any time wake up... when it's still dark, even the sun's yet to rise and start shouting 'stand it is and attention', like he is still parading"
everyone laughed
"You swine!" and almost walked up to him to strangle him
of course he is exaggerating!
"and its not only that, this bloody idiot will wake up at 5 a.m. and start doing all his exercises. My poor sleep,"
now I laughed and walked up to him, wrapped my arm over his shoulder,
"Now, now, baby don't whine."
I pinched his cheek,
" your crying face reminds me of the face last time I fed a banana to." everyone burst out laughing and he deadpanned this time.
"That was good."
Urvi complimented me laughing and kissed her boyfriends cheek good night.
Soon after everyone retired to their cabins, all the lights turned off, the only source of my light was the still burning bonfire and a small lamp near the window to my right cabin.
The irony it was, the bonfire resembling my emotions, that are still on fire, and the small lit up lamp was the mirror of her hidden emotions for me – enough to keep me motivated, determined to say the most.
The lamp resembles me of a night all black, all dark, the night of no moon, no stars. Then an angel stepped on the field of that deserted place and the small world I was living in lit up just by her mere presence.
I didnt realize I was randomly playing the strings of my favourite song until the chorus part came, I smiled and started humming with it-
🎶 'Cause if the whole world was watching I'd still dance with you
Drive highways and byways to be there with you
Over and over the only truth
Everything comes back to you'
Ummm.mmm🎶
I looked up and saw the only light coming from her cabin is now off, but I didn't miss the movement behind the curtains. She was watching.
🎶You still make me nervous when you walk in the room
Then butterflies—they come alive when I'm next to you
Over and over the only truth
Everything comes back to you🎶
"You're a loner"
Recognizing the voice I sighed,
"Wow! So helpful!"
I still didn't turn.
Sensing the sarcasm she replied,
"My pleasure."
and sat down beside me, keeping her head on my shoulder, not before draping her blanket on me too.
"What you are doing still out?"
"These should be my lines, you know?"
I smiled down at her now completely keeping my guitar down and tucked my hands inside my jacket pockets.
"Well, I'm not sleepy."
"Neither am I." she said rubbing my arm.
I sighed again, white fog coming out my mouth marking my breath, "Your husband slept?"
She nodded, "She'll come around."
I half laughed,
"It's not that easy, she is too stubborn."
"Tell me about it. But she misses you, I saw that on her face."
"That was her frustration, not that she misses me."
"Exactly! That is what frustrating her the most."
Silence fell around us, no one talked.
That's what I like about Ruhani, I dont need words to tell her about what and how I'm feeling, she happens to know my heart already.
Few more minutes passed and that's when we decided to retire to bed.
"You better get your beauty sleep tonight, she will be searching for that beauty again the next morning,"
she said with dreamy eyes and started laughing, once again wrapping herself in the blanket.
"Says someone who looks like a left-hand drawing," I replied tucking my hands inside my pocket.
It's bloody cold now.
"Ha ha ha very funny." she stomped her foot and turned to walk back inside her cabin.
Smiling, I too retired back to my cabin.
Mission get her back is so on!
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'you walked in, and
my heart beats different'
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This is Rudra for you.
I hope you guys like him.
Comment loads and tell me how he was.
With love,
Ankita.