Magnus POV
I groaned as I woke up with, yet another headache. My eyes were blurry and in the haze I saw Alec. His beautiful blue eyes, a smile on his lips. I reached out to touch him, to caress his face. But the only thing that my hand hit is a glass bottle.
I was brutally shoved back into real life. Memories were flooded back to me and I gasped for air as I remembered what had happened. I let out a scream of agony. My body shook with pain and anger, and I was filled with so many emotions that I could barely think. My head pounded and energy coursed through my veins.
I hurt for you but you don't hurt for me
This week had been the hardest I can remember ever having. Getting up everyday remains a struggle and without Alec beside I see no reason to get up. I only ate when I was hungry, and rarely was I ever. His siblings had tried to call, but never him, and it got to the point where I just silenced my phone completely. I tried to tell myself that the pain would go away if I just made myself get up, but then I'd just lay there and let myself get consumed in the sorrow. What a way to live
A knock sounded at my door. I snapped my fingers twice; one to clean my place up and rid it of the smell of alcohol, and the other to dress myself nicely with make up. Just because I was a hot mess didn't mean everyone had to know it.
I opened the door to see Isabelle, Sherwin, Jace and Clary at my door. Oh what fun
"Hello" I greeted, plastering a fake smile on my face.
"Hey, can we come in?" Jace asked.
"Sure" I replied, stepping back and gesturing for them to enter.
They took a seat on my couch, were I had been previously sprawled out, still clutching a vodka from the night before. I sat opposite them in my large leather chair.
"What happened with you and Alec?" Jace asked. Of course
"Jace!" Isabelle chided.
"It's what we are here for anyway" Jace replied with a shrug.
"And why do you assume something happened?" I asked in a calm voice.
"You and Alec aren't together right now. Like in his office making out or something" Isabelle answered.
I sighed deeply. "If the four of you must know. Alexander decided it was best if we stopped seeing one another, with him getting the Institute and his parents are having trouble. Apparently our relationship was too much for him right now" I said, unable to hide the bitterness in my voice.
"What?" Isabelle asked.
"That is what happened Isabelle" I replied.
"But he was so happy and you two were, you were" she said, her voice faltering.
I stood up and walked over to Isabelle. I wrapped her up in an embrace.
"I know Isabelle, I thought the same thing. But apparently the both of us were wrong" I said.
"I don't understand" Clary replied.
"Neither do I. But that can't be helped now can it? I cannot change how he feels, nor his responsibilities" I responded, pushing down the emotions that threatened to emerge.
"Magnus, I'll talk to him, figure out what happened" Jace said.
"There is no need" I replied.
"Magnus. What are those?" Sherwin asked, pointing at me.
My wings had come out of my back in agitation, and I hadn't even known. Recently I've been wearing them out, Alec loves, loved, Alec loved them and by the end of my emotional break downs they would be out anyway.
"What do they look like?" I asked, annoyed. It didn't take rocket science to figure out that huge feathery things attached to my back were infact wings
"Wings" Sherwin answered.
"Well that's what they are" I replied.
"Wow. I always thought it was fake when he drew you with wings. I guess not. Alec has like a thousand drawings of you with wings, I always thought it was weird but I can't really judge because I do weird things too. And honestly you are a warlock and I'm a vampire, so who knows what qualifies as weird anymore. I mean I thought he liked you, actually it was more like love and he just suddenly dumps you. I mean he talked about you 24/7, like every chance available. He would just ramble and ramble, about how much he loves you, how well everything was going, what you two were doing and really just everything. It's insane how quickly everything just fell apart, how he just kinda lost feeling-" Sherwin just droned on and it was getting hard to breathe.
I felt so many emotions all at once. Then I felt something in my soul shatter, like mirror that had been thrown. That was now, cracked and broken, and dangerous. I had stopped taking mundane and angel blood injections and now my body was super-powered with energy, energy that was just waiting for release.
"SHUT UP" I yelled at him. "Stop talking as if he still cares. He clearly doesn't or else he would be here. He would be with me. Whatever he felt clearly doesn't mean enough to him. So it doesn't matter the number of pictures he's drawn nor the things he used to say, because that is over. He decided he needs a break so I gave him a break. And this has nothing to do with any of you so leave" I told them, only calming down towards the end.
They all got up and all but ran to door. I sighed and went to my room, stopping on the way to get another bottle of vodka.
"You've mourned over this long enough" I muttered to myself. "You didn't end it, he did. There is no reason to cry over something you can't control. You've mourned long enough" you've mourned long enough. I hurt for him. He just doesn't hurt for me. Do you hurt for me? Alexander?
££££££££££££
After my shower. I walked into my closet. I couldn't just ignore the rest of the world because Alexander had broken up with me and broken my heart, and probably soul, in the process. I needed to do something to get my mind off of it. What better way than to dress myself in clothes that I love?
I grabbed a pair of black leather pants and a black silk shirt that had gold thread in the seams, with a low v-neck that stopped at the end of my sternum. Accompanying those were a pair of bulky black combat boots with gold laces and black leather trenchcoat that stopped mid calf. Both the jacket and the shirt had holes in the back for my wings.
My jewelry consisted of a black industrial bar, a black diamond pendant with a gold chain and multiple rings. Also I had multicolored earrings in my many other piercings.
My makeup included a golden smokey eye, black lipstick with gold glitter in it and, black eyeliner. And of course, black and gold glitter. I also added a few gold streaks to my hair, that was styled in a floppy quiff.
I looked and the mirror and liked my outfit and makeup choices. It was was truly what I was going for, the dark angel that I am being the goal. My large black wings shot from my back and I smirked at the mental list I had made of all the things I planned on doing.
Isabelle POV
"Something is wrong with Magnus. I've never felt like that around him, like, I was scared. I've always known he was powerful but in that moment he was scary" I told Clary.
"I know. There has only been one time I felt like that, but it wasn't that strong of a feeling back then. But did you see him? He looked broken and destroyed. Like Alec hurt him really bad" Clary whispered back.
"I don't get it. I have never felt more scared than I did in that moment. Why did he -" I was interrupted by door opening.
"What are you two gossiping about?" My older brother asked, walking over to us.
"And why would you assume we are gossiping?" Clary asked. I shuddered, remembering that Magnus had asked us the same question in an eerily calm voice.
"Because the two of you are willingly in a library" Alec responded.
"Um. Big brother can I ask you question?" I asked.
"Yeah. What's up Izzy?" He replied.
"What do I do when I feel scared to the point of not knowing what to do or who to tell?" I asked, uncertainty in my voice.
"You tell your older brother and let him put an arrow through their skull" he replied. "What happened?"
"You can't put an arrow through this person's skull and I don't want you to. I want to help this person, but the only person who could help this person doesn't know what's going on. And probably doesn't want to. What do I do now?" I asked.
"Tell me what's going on using specifics and let me help whatever is going on with you. What's happening?" He inquired, sounding worried.
"She, we, are scared of Magnus" Clary said. Alec froze, all of his muscles tensed at the name of his ex-boyfriend.
"We went to his house earlier to see what was wrong with you guys, maybe if two had an argument and that was why he wasn't around much. A day, is okay. A week is different. And we went there and he seemed fine, perfect almost. But as we asked what happened and we kept going on with the conversation the more unhinged he was. And then Simon started rambling about you and him, and Magnus broke. That is the only way to describe it. Him breaking. But before he yelled, these huge, black wings shot out of his back. His eyes, they were full of so many emotions and he looked so heartbroken. In all of my years I had never been so scared, because if he lost control, I knew that nothing I had ever learned would save us. Alec, what did you do?" I explained, I was breathing deeply.
He looked like a dark angel, one that would kill without a second thought. I wonder if that fear that consumed me is what the people who faced him felt. That knowledge that someone so incredibly powerful was attacking and you were probably going to die. I wondered if he struck that type of fear into everyone.
Alec didn't say anything for a while. He just sat there, staring into space. I could see the gears turning in head, trying to process what I had just said.
"Did I really hurt him that much?" He asked, his mouth moving to make more words but no sound coming out.
"I'm afraid so big brother" I told him softly.
"No he said it was okay, that he understood" Alec said, sounding as if he was trying to convince himself that he didn't actually hurt Magnus that much.
"Alec what was he supposed to say? He can't keep you in a relationship against your will. He can't force you to love him" Clary said softly.
"Does he think I don't love him?" Alec asked, his big blue eyes wide with emotion.
"No. Not exactly. Kind of. Maybe. He said that you don't care and that he can't control what you do and don't feel for him" I said, seeing my brother's face fall further with every word I spoke.
"I messed up" he stated. Not a question, a statement.
"Yes you did. We haven't ever been so scared of him. Whatever you did, we just watched him break. I could see the difference. Something changed Alec, i don't know what is was but soon I have a feeling we will know" Clary said.
"I didn't know I had hurt him so much" Alec replied, his voice quivering. Maybe it had never occurred to him that the man who loved him more than himself, would hurt like that over him. Or maybe he didn't know how much Magnus loved him
"What did you expect? He loved, he loves you. Did you expect him not to care about it? To not hurt for you? You saw what happened to Paris. We both know that Magnus' emotions influenced that. You know that it did, deep down you know it" i told him, as gently as I could.
Alec looked at me, we blue eyes wide with, with pain. His mouth moved as he struggled to find the right words. Or maybe he just struggled to say them. It was painful to watch.
"Hey guys Magnus is - oh hey Alec. Um he uh, he just came up on the radar and I'm pretty sure something bad is happening. I don't know what yet but uh. Yeah" Jace's said, busting into the room.
Well, there you go folks. So this chapter was incredibly hard and fun to write. I have big plans for Magnus and Alec but I'm afraid we might not have that many Malec love scenes for a few chapters. We will have very intense Malec meetings though, but this is going to be great or at least I hope so.
I would love to thank my newest reader, that I am aware of, Uhura2urSpock_19. You are a wonderful person to talk to and I'm glad you liked my story. I'm hoping that you continue to read and enjoy it.
Please comment, vote and share. This story reached 800 either today or yesterday, I'm nit exactly sure but I'm so thankful for the support I've gotten on this. I am still taking submissions for the Q&A for 500 reads. So far I haven't gotten any questions so just do submit those when you can. It can be on any of the chapters, the conversation posts or private messaging. If it is a comment on the chapter, just add that it for the Q&A.
Be happy, stay strong, and Love Yourself
- Nautilus