Today was going to change things, I just knew it.
I was finally going to end everything with Shay, and make it clear to management that I would never do this again.
More importantly, I was going to be with Liam.
If things went the way I imagined them to, then I would be in the arms of Liam by the end of the day. For that reason alone, I needed to look great.
I had actually woken up way too early and went through several outfits, trying to find the perfect one. I had to be somewhat practical though, because it was really cold outside today.
(Picture of outfit)
Getting to have Liam's lips against mine like that, especially during that moment it was just all so perfect. It was everything I wanted.
I stood outside the office of someone from management, nervously shaking my foot, and more importantly, trying to steady my breathing.
"You can come on in, Gracie" he said.
I walked in nervous as hell, all because I was speaking to Phil today. He was someone who really wanted me to keep the relationship with Shay, so this would not be as easy as I was hoping for.
"Please, take a seat" he said, motioning to the chairs in front of his desk.
I slowly sat down and looked at him "I'm sorry if I'm keeping you"
"It's no trouble at all" he leaned forward "I'm handling most of Simon's work, so it's just been a bit chaotic with him gone. But enough of that; what can I help you with today?"
I nervously smiled "I wanted to talk about my relationship with Shay"
"What a coincidence, so do I"
My smiled dropped "Really?"
He pulled out a newspaper, flipping through the pages before stopping "Specifically about this" he handed me the paper.
There on the page were pictures of me with Liam, while we were dancing together in the restaurant.
I swallowed. At least they didn't get pictures of the kiss "This doesn't look that bad"
"Turn the page"
I turned the page, immediately feeling a pit in my stomach. There were several pictures of us in each others arms, kissing.
Fuck.
"Gracie, how is this supposed to improve your image? You are supposed to be in a relationship with Shay, but here you are with your ex"
"But it's not like Shay and I are actually together"
"That's not the point. Do you realize how hard it has been trying to put you back in a positive light? That video from tour changed your image" he sat back "The only reason we pushed so hard on this was because your record sales are continuing to rise, and we want them to keep rising"
"They were still rising when the video came out" I said, trying to defend myself.
"Gracie, we only want what's best for you"
"Then stop making making me date Shay" I said, finally letting it out.
He cleared his throat "Why do you want that?"
"Shay is horrible, and he's making my life miserable. I completely get that I agreed to this, but this has to stop at some point"
"Yes, but it will stop when we want it to stop" he sighed "When the time is right, we will stage a break up, but until then you can't be caught with other guys"
I scoffed "Shay is with girls all the time! Why isn't he getting lectured?"
"He's quiet about it, and more importantly, he does what we say" he shook his head "Do you not understand that you are already on a thin line?"
"What are you talking about?"
"Well, I've noticed that your appearance is beginning to look questionable"
Was he seriously making a remark about my weight? I was still at an average weight. It's not like I've ever been anything less than a size 8, so why is this now becoming an issue?
"The sudden weight gain doesn't make you look as desirable, at least in my opinion"
I sat back "Well, it's not like you're the one who's supposed to desire me, Phil"
"Gracie, watch your tone" he sighed "Have you thought of getting a personal trainer?"
I shook my head "No, because there is nothing wrong with me!" I let out a frustrated groan "The reason I am gaining weight is because I've had to take antidepressants"
"Maybe you should stop taking them then. There are other ways to deal with depression, like meditation, dietary supplements; getting more sun, eat better" he smiled "Something natural, you know?"
I leaned forward "There is nothing wrong with me getting the proper health for my mental health"
"I just want you to look more photogenic"
"I am photogenic" I argued "Shay is a horrible person, and if you really wanted to look out for me like you say you do, then you will end this now!"
He smiled "There's nothing I can do at this point. I suggest you play the part of the girlfriend; it will be the best choice for you, and your career"
His response felt like a threat, and if he was threatening my career then we had a whole other problem.
"Why are you doing this?" I asked.
"Because if you get sales, I get money. I like getting money" he answered, rather bluntly.
I felt desperate "Please, I'm begging you"
"I'm sorry, Gracie. This is the best option, and when I decide it's time for this relationship to end, I promise you will be the first to know"
"I'll go to Simon" I threatened.
"Simon is dealing with business right now, and it's incredibly hard to get him on the phone right now"
I stood up quickly, knocking the chair over, and stormed out of the office, slamming the door behind me.
Unable to stop myself, I went into a bathroom and repeatedly hit one of the stall doors with my hand until it hurt.
I took a deep breath, leaning over the bathroom counter.
This is such bullshit.
After taking a moment, I left the bathroom and as soon as I left it, I felt overwhelmed all over again.
"Goddammit!" I shouted, kicking the door to the bathroom.
"Gracie?"
I turned, seeing all five of the boys standing there.
"What's wrong?" Harry asked.
I swallowed and wiped my eyes. I was way more pissed than sad right now, so I don't even know why I was crying.
Liam approached me, pulling me right back into his arms "What happened?"
What was I supposed to tell him? He wasn't going to agree to be my secret boyfriend, while I went out in public and treated Shay the way Liam deserved.
My mind was too overwhelmed to deal with everything at once, so I needed to eliminate one problem before it went any further.
No matter how much it destroyed me.
I pushed Liam away from me "Just get away from me"
He got closer to me again "No, what happened?"
Liam knelt down next to me, while the others stood behind him.
"What happened?" he asked, stroaking my cheek.
"You want to know what happened? You! You happened, and I just want you to leave me the hell alone!"
"What?" he asked, his voice dropping.
I shook my head "You make my life far too complicated, and I don't need that in my life"
"You don't meant that"
"Yes, I do; don't you get it? This isn't some movie where we end up happily ever after; this is reality, and you and I just don't end up together"
He looked down at me "If you meant that, then you would be able to look me in the eyes" he took my hands "Just tell me what's wrong, please?"
I pushed his hands away and shook my head "Just leave me alone"
He sighed "Fine, but even though you said that, I'm not mad at you. I love you, and I will still be here when whatever is happening right now is over"
I watched him walk away, and all four of the boys looked at me as if I was crazy.
"What the hell just happened?" Zayn asked.
I heard him walk away and I started crying again.
"Management won't let me end things with Shay until they are ready for it to be over" I scoffed "And apparently I need to lose some damn weight, since I'm no longer photogenic or fucking desirable!"
"Who said that?" Louis asked, rage filling his voice.
"Phil"
"Well Phil is a bloody twat, who can shove his damn opinions up his ass" he said, shaking his head.
Niall sighed "Don't listen to them when it comes to your appearance, you look beautiful. Your weight isn't a problem, they are"
"Why did you go off on Liam though?" Harry asked.
"Because it's easier than only getting to have him in secret, and professing my undying love to Shay to the public" I took a deep breath "Liam will be miserable if I have to prance around and play Shay's girlfriend, especially if he has to see it"
Zayn put his arm around me "That's no way to handle it, love"
"I'll handle it" I said, leaving and heading to Darren's office.
---
"They can't do this, right?" I asked.
Darren sighed "Morally it's unbelievably wrong, but it's complicated. They can't terminate your contract over something like this, but Phil especially can make your career difficult"
"Difficult how?"
"He can convince people like you wouldn't believe, and I think if he tried hard enough he could put your record on hold"
"What do you mean put it on hold?"
"Exactly what I said"
I groaned "This isn't fair!"
"Look, Simon has to come back at some point. He already asked if you wanted to end things with Shay, because he was concerned about you, so if you can just wait until he gets back"
I sat back in my chair "When is he supposed to return?"
"I don't know, Gracie"
He put his hand on my leg "Do you trust me"
"Of course"
He nodded "Just give me time. I can't promise that I can get him on the phone, but Phil will not destroy you, okay?"
How was I supposed to not worry about this? Phil loved to play the puppet master, and I was favorite one to play with.