Mom was still suffering from Chronic Lyme Disease and even though she had it under control there was still at least a day or two out of the month that she couldn't get out of bed. She usually stayed in bed binge watching period dramas or Korean dramas. But she still helped. Even Johnny was checking out tuxedos, shoes and limousines. One day, as he was looking at prices for limousines, I endeavored to ask,
"So how are you going to pay for that?"
" I was hoping that we would all chip in for one."
" That doesn't sound like a bad idea. Let me see these prices."
I took his phone and browsed. He was looking at the hummer limo.
"This is a lot of money. Even if we all pitch in we'd all have to pitch in around 300-400 each. "
"We could do that. " he contemplated.
"Let's just keep it low key. Not too extravagant. I don't want to spend that much on my ride to prom. " I concluded.
"But these are so awesome!"
"No Johnny. It's not that important. Now for more pressing concerns. Has Zack said who he is taking."
"He hasn't. Why do you care?"
"I was just wondering can a girl not wonder! Geez!" I got up and walked off to my room.
No matter how many girls Zack had around him, I never knew who he was really into and when I gave myself time to think about all the girls for a while, I'd feel choked up and my chest would start to hurt so I had to stop thinking about it. I didn't like the pain and I didn't want to focus on why it hurt so much. And if it was jealousy then I wanted to avoid that because he wasn't mine even though a part of me knew that he could be.
Prom came around soon enough and the day started off fine. I woke up, made sure I had my dress out with my shoes, and took a shower. When I got out of the shower I got ready and went to the hair salon where they did my hair and make up. Mom insisted on it and went with me. I drove because she wasn't feeling like driving. We stayed at the salon for two hours or more. Mom struggled to get out of the chair and as she tried to push herself up her legs wobbled underneath her and she fell. I got help from one of the hairdressers and we finally got her in the car. I asked her if she wanted to go to the hospital but she told me to take her home so she could lie down.
"Just take me home and you and Johnny go on and meet your friends for prom." I knew she wanted to make it seem like it was no big deal. I didn't argue with her even though I didn't feel like going anymore. She worried me. I couldn't stand knowing that she was not feeling or doing well. And it really hurt to see her that way.
"Okay mom. Do you want me to bring you something to drink before I leave?"
"No, I'm good. Just have fun with your friends and Johnny! And don't stay out past 11:30." Even if I had wanted to stay, I wouldn't knowing that she wasn't doing well. So I planned to go for a bit and come back home.
Johnny and I rode in my car met Mercedes and her date, a guy named Drake, and Zack and his date, a girl I had never seen him with and whose name I never got. We all rode together in Zack's mom vehicle, a black Tahoe. Zack was driving and had his date on the passenger seat and Mercedes and her date were in the middle row while Johnny and I rode in the back. I was not feeling the dance and tried to put on a brave face for everyone but to no avail.
"Hey, I know that you're worried about mom, but if it makes you feel better she would want you to enjoy yourself."
"That doesn't make me feel better Johnny so don't try. I'll never understand how you don't worry, so understand that when I worry I can't just turn it off. It would be like asking you to start worrying which is obviously something you are incapable of."
"Hey, I worry. I just don't wear it on my face. I also have faith."
"I'm trying as best as I can. This is my best so drop it." I must have gotten loud because Zack spoke up.
"You alright Sadie?" He locked eyes with me through the mirror. His earnest query only made me feel worse because now I was worrying him and I didn't want to do that. He looked into my soul and that made me feel vulnerable so I went stoned faced and replied,
"I'm fine." And looked out the window. I didn't know how I would survive the night, it already felt long enough and we hadn't even made it to dinner.
Dinner at the local Italian restaurant dragged. Somehow I got stuck sitting between Johnny and Zack leaving me with no room to get out easily. I also had to suffer them both trying to cheer me up. It took them forever to bring our food out and Zack's girl kept giving me an evil stare.
When dinner was done, we headed to the prom at the Hilton Hotel where I sat on the first open table. No one minded because it meant that I was keeping a table safe for the whole group. Johnny quickly found someone to dance with then him and Zack began goofing around.
After several dances, they all sat down at the table and rested. Zack sat beside me leaving his date alone.
"So, Johnny finally told me why you're not dancing. I knew there was something wrong with you in the car. Why didn't you tell me Sadie?
"I don't know Zack. I guess I just don't like talking about my personal life."
"Personal life? Sadie please, you've always told me about your "personal life" why not now?
"I am not sure. Just go enjoy your date."
"How can I when...." He didn't finish his sentence instead he took me by the arm and pulled me away from the table. Soon we were in the Tahoe.
"Where are we going?" I looked at him frantically.
"I am taking you home." He turned the car on and began to back up. We didn't say much on the way home. It wasn't until we got into my driveway when he decided to say something.
"Listen Sadie, we've known each other for a long time and we have told each other many things, right?
"Right." He was right. He had stuck with me through people thinking I was bullying others. And we did always tell each other things that we hadn't told anyone else.
"Then please just tell me when something is bothering you. I may not be able to help you out of it but I will try to make it easier."
" I know you will Zack. I don't know what I would have done without you all this years." I sprung from my seat and hugged him. He hugged me back and placed his warm hands firmly on my back. We hugged for a while. He finally pushed me away from his embrace and I felt his minty breath against my collar. For some reason it made me feel safe and comforted.
"Go in, check in on your mom and go to sleep." I gasped and remembered.
"You left your date! "
"No worries! I asked Johnny to watch her for me."
"Wow! Okay well thanks for bringing me home. Good night."
"Night Sadie." I got out of the car and he pulled out of the driveway. I went inside and checked in on my mom.
"You are back soon! How was it?"
" It was fun! " I knew this would make her happy so I lied.
"Well I'm glad. But why did Zack bring you home and where is Johnny?
Of course, it was still early and Johnny wasn't here. And obviously she noticed Zack and me out in the driveway.
" I was just tired and wanted to come home."
"Sadie, you don't need to worry about me. I'll be fine. Just enjoy being young."
"That's easier said than done mom."
"I know sweetie, but you should try. For now at least, I know I can count on Zack to take care of you huh."
" Yeah, I guess so."
And until that moment I hadn't realized that Zack did take care of me in as much as he could and always took my feelings into consideration. This made my heart palpitate faster and I felt a strong desire to see him now more than ever and tell him the importance he held in my life.