"You..." is all I can manage to say.
"Yes me. Who else? Somebody had to have your back. I was a little irritated that you did not feed on Shaun's heart to ease the pain," he says casually as if it is the most natural thing in the world.
I lower my eyes to my feet and rub my forehead at the memory of the bolt. That is all too much for my head. It is spinning and I feel sick in my stomach as the truth is hitting me harder than ever before.
He led that armed assault and shot me out of the dark. I am almost sure it must have been him.
He carved the weapons. The symbol was not a threat. It was a message.
I was searching for the lover of Gwendolyn I did not manage to kill and found one I actually already killed. It makes sense, as I am sure he wants to see me suffer for what I did that night so long ago. Maybe he really hates me after all. I was not able to defeat my inner demons over all these years, why should I assume he has. Maybe I am the demon he needs to defeat to find peace.
I am so sorry Henriette. You suffered because of a monster that I created.
Taking a deep breath, I turn to my guards. "Those of you, who feel well enough to work, go to the next clearing and ask Étain where to help. Lester, ask her what sitting work can be done in the cave. I do not want to see any of you just whining. Make yourself useful."
"But, Sir, I ―"
"Did I ask for your opinion?" I glare at Lester before he salutes.
"No, Sir."
"Then do as I said."
Lester nods and then leaves with another look at Eve who nods at him. Somehow, this scene looks oddly familiar, but I cannot point my finger at it why.
"Not even a single sign of thanks?" Tobias asks disappointed. I really cannot hold it in anymore. It is all so frustrating. I hate myself. I hate the situation we are in, equally to the fact that I still care or better said bother to care.
My fault was so simple I really should have thought about it earlier. I was searching for one single entity of equal minded vampires that are after me. In fact, there was Tobias, trying to attract my attention for whatever reason and then there was this whole vampire circle around Charlotte. They have never been after me. It was about Tristan. I should have known.
Thinking once more about Henriette her last words start to ring in my ears. She did not want me to kill anybody. She tried to call me by my old name. Trying to give me the last piece of information, she had another name to add to the list, next to Charles Holmwood and that Charlotte from the West Indies. Mine.
"If you think any harder, there will be steam coming out of your ears as it comes out of the chimneys of the factories," Tobias laughs.
I look around just to realize that half of my guards are already gone with Lester, while Celeste, Eve, and he are standing in a circle in front of me. Celeste has my leather armor and ax in her arms while Eve looks at me appraisingly.
"We need to eradicate the danger to make sure we will be able to rebuild Tristan's kingdom," she then says and I nod but Tobias shakes his head.
"Father, this is not our war."
"Who paid you to kill Dr. Nowak?" Eve asks Tobias and his lighthearted smile plasters his face again.
"Nobody. He caused troubles for Father and I needed to prove my loyalty to find out more about Charlotte," he then shrugs, "It hurt a little to lose Shaun, but oh well..."
"Why, my son? Why didn't you just come to me?" I cannot help but ask the most obvious question. The reaction of Celeste and Eve tells me that something is off. Tobias just keeps on smiling at me.
"You are the one that abandoned me, did you already forget that? Lord Blackwood made it very clear that you don't want to see me."
My heart drops.
"Can't you remember?" he asks.
My eyes narrow at him but his smile just becomes absent-minded as he inspects my face. He chuckles silently after a few more moments.
"I see. Well played, Lord Blackwood," he then turns his head to his nervous horse.
I need a little time and some more information before I can be sure about my suspicions. My mouth feels dry and my head is spinning as if I am on a bad opium trip. An idea forms in my head, though.
"Celeste, Connor, follow me."
They both look at me surprised as I start my way to the line of trees that separate the clearing from the woods and the ledge in the middle.
"Where do you think you are going, Ethan? Dr. Johnson is waiting for you," Eve stops me in my steps. I look at Tobias.
"He will be able to help Erwin out, too."
"You will not discuss anything crucial for us anymore without me. I'm Lady Blackwood and I will stand up for my people as much as Tristan did!" Eve hisses.
"I don't think, that you want to see what I'm about to do with those two." I lick my lips and she shudders in sudden embarrassment. I am not sure if it is also anger that I see, but it does not matter.
"Oh, darling..." Celeste instantly plays along and takes off her white glove to run her fingers over my shoulder blades. Connor is a little lost as he looks at Cassy licking the little blood from me on her fingertips.
"That's not how I imagined that, Brother," he mentions rather insecure.
"I just won an important fight. I have the right to celebrate it. We will be back when the sun rises. Be a good host for my son until then. I think a little distraction before he will report what he found out won't hurt... and you seem to know each other already," my face is straight again. "I want Lyall to also hear that."
"He is right, you know? You are disgusting. There are more urgent matters than this!" Eve answers as I already started to make my way to the ledge with Celeste and Connor in tow.
"You leave me alone again?" I can hear Tobias complain but I need to get a clear head. Everything seems like in a thick fog that hides the last pieces of reality from me. Why would Tristan send him away in my name? This clearly must have been confusion about who he truly is.
What if it wasn't?
All the way to the ledge, Connor is trying to find out what I have planned and I cannot help but like to see his obvious struggle. Celeste also seems to enjoy our little bad trick on him.
I stop in my steps as I enter the ledge and take a look around.
"I took the liberty to clean up your mess before some wild animals come to see what's going on," Connor says as he realizes my irritation about the clean walls and floor.
Tristan's scent is gone.
Just vanished.
I take a few more unsteady steps into the cave before I have to support myself at the wall. My headache is so bad that I am sick to my stomach. Before I can think any further, I vomit once more some blood this night. I really do not know what Lyall hit with his attack but it obviously is still affecting me.
"Seriously now?" Connor asks annoyed but I chuckle before I turn around to lean at the wall next to the mess I just made.
Celeste does not say a thing to the scene and just keeps on looking me in the eye as I stare at her.
"I'll get another bucket of water," Connor starts and turns to leave but Celeste takes his wrist to make him stay put.
"You shouldn't leave now," she says silently and her eyes are slightly gleaming. Connor takes the opportunity to entangle his fingers with hers as she is not breaking our staring. She clearly enchanted him.
"Cassy..." I start with a hoarse voice before I take another deep breath, "What did Tobias tell you about me?"
"I don't know what you mean, darling," she beams. "I thought you'd like to have some fun?"
Connor interrupts at that. "Brother, you know, I'm not into that... really... I respect that you find your pleasure with men and... you are clearly a good catch... mostly, well you know... I'm sure for a lot of people, but that's just not―" He stops his babbling as he realizes that we are both staring at him.
"You find pleasure with men?" Celeste grins smugly and a low growl rolls out of my chest. Connor's head turns the color of a fresh tomato.
"I'm sorry! I meant the blood... well maybe not that way of blood, I'm..." he tries to rescue his misstep but it is too late.
"I will tell you what Thomas said about the man called Killian when you tell me why our dearest Connor knows about your preferences," she sets her price for the information and I sigh before rubbing my face. I really doubt all my decisions from the very beginning of that case until now.
"Connor, what did you tell Celeste, shortly after my fight with Lyall?" I ask instead of answering Celeste.
"I just told her how beautiful her hair looks tonight," he smiles half-hearted and my eyes wander from him to Celeste and back. That was a better lie than before, but still very weak.
"Leave me alone," I tell them with a calm tone.
Celeste frowns. "You give up that easily?"
"Leave me alone!" I yell at both of them angrily.
They both look at each other before Connor looks me deep in the eye. "You need to promise not to rip off my head." I nod. All I want is that someone finally is honest with me.
"The soldier with the wounded hand wanted to tell you something different. I promised to let it tell you on his own but this is important. The hunter seems to have recruited your men after you left London. I don't know what for but, brother, he is a lunatic."
My arm snakes out at his throat and a deep low growl rolls out my chest.
"Liar! Out of here, leave me alone!" I make him stumble backward. He holds Celeste's hand tighter to drag her out of my sight. She is so shocked that the clothes, she had with her, fall to the dirty ground. I slide down at the wall the moment the two left. My eyes well up at the pain that fills my chest, but I do not give in.
Lies. Everywhere. Everybody is lying.
What did I think how all of this will end? I guess I did not think at all.
I close my eyes and recollect my thoughts.
I am such an idiot. Trust is a powerful weapon and I started to give it out like treats.
This time I will end it all and for once; No prisoners, no loose ends, no mercy. This game is going on far too long already. It's time to go back to the approved methods of how to lead a life.
With long steps, I walk out to the small creek to start washing off the blood from the fight. The cold winter breeze and the water in my face make my skin just as numb as my head feels.
At least I am able to slightly move my broken arm again to take on the leather armor. Most probably it is Tobias' blood that helps me healing so fast. Tobias blood is nearly as strong as Tristan and mine. This just tells me one thing. He must have stolen nearly the same amount of souls as I did, and I need to confess that this number is far too high.
I have been to war most of my life. I have lost myself in the rush of power and tried to compensate for the burning desire with alcohol and opium. There is no guarantee of how he reacts to this kind of killing. Tristan, for example, is calm, almost blissfully overjoyed.
I sigh as I bind the ax to my hip. In the end, it does not matter.
Taking in my environment, I worship to walk this path for the last time in my life. The moon shines through the dark shadows of needles of the pines and the knobby branches of the leafless trees. Somewhere in the distance, an owl hoots. Mother Nature is never asleep and I shouldn't be either.
The day will bring light, revelation, and death.
I am ready.