Nate
Maybe I shouldn't have gone to Rachel's last night because now I'm functioning on two hours of sleep. Luckily there's no practice on Fridays.
I was able to quietly sneak back into the house without disturbing my sleeping parents. It felt wrong staying in Rachel's bed so I left and texted her that I went home. It was around 4am when I returned. But I couldn't sleep for about an hour because my new revelation about Chase kept me up during the night.
"Oi, Nate. Are you alright?" Josh asks as he looks at me with slight concern. We are currently in our English class and I've been zoned out the whole lesson.
"Yeah I'm alright. I've just got some stuff on my mind."
"Yeah I can see that. But you haven't written anything down and the class is almost over."
I look at the board filled with notes and curse under my breath.
"You can copy mine later." Josh smirks.
"Thanks."
*
Josh and I have spent half an hour of our lunch break in the library and I haven't so much as picked up a pen before zoning out again. Josh notices.
"Tell me what's on your mind." Josh says, abandoning the book he was reading while I was supposed to copy his notes for English.
Should I tell Josh about my new fondness for Chase?
I don't think his reaction will be too bad. Josh is quite open minded, but will he be open to the idea of his best friend liking another guy?
I look past the clear barrier of his glasses and into his blue eyes and know that Josh doesn't have a single bad bone in his body. I can trust him.
"I'm going to break up with Rachel."
"What?!" Josh yells and I cover my face, embarrassed as the other students in the library stare at Josh with annoyed expressions.
"Sorry." He mutters. "So you're actually breaking up with her."
"You don't have to whisper Josh, just don't be so loud."
"Oh ok." Now at a reasonable volume he says "But why? Rachel is gorgeous and popular. The last time I checked you were head over heels for her and now you want to break up with her?"
"I just, I don't know. I don't feel the same way I guess."
"Oh I see."
"What?"
"You've got your eyes on someone else, haven't you?" My eyes widen as Josh smirks.
"Come on, tell me who's the lucky girl then."
"Well erm, it's not actually a girl." I say, preparing myself for another one of his outbursts.
"What?!" There it is. The students look at him annoyed again and he mutters another apology.
"You're kidding me right? You're not actually" he leans forward, looking side to side "gay are you?" He whispers.
"Well I don't know. All I know is that I like a guy and I'm freaking out because I don't know what to do now."
"Ok, don't worry, I'm going to help you but first you need to tell me who the guy is." The frantic beating of my heart slows down when Josh says he's going to help me but then speeds up again when I realise I have to tell him who it is.
"It's Chase."
"What?!" He yells. Again.
"You know what, that's it." I grab Josh's wrist, dragging him out the quiet library as he once again apologises to the glaring students.
I lead him outside to a secluded area where he can shout as loudly as he wants.
"You like Chase? As in scary, grumpy Chase who has like two friends and is your sworn enemy whom which you have hated since forever?"
"Yes, that Chase but obviously I don't hate him anymore."
All of a sudden Josh starts laughing.
"Hey, Josh this isn't funny." I say as I watch my best friend in a giggling fit.
"Sorry Nate it's just. It's cliche but so unexpected at the same time."
"Shut up." I say but can't help the smile forming on my face.
When he stops laughing he looks at me. "How in the hell did this happen anyway?"
It's very hard telling him everything that has been going on with Chase and I without telling him about Derek. Yet somehow I manage to come up with a coherent story.
"You slept in the same bed as him?"
"Is that all you got out of this story?"
"That and the fact that you kissed him twice and he didn't beat you to a pulp." Josh says.
"He's not like that." I reply.
"You're already defending him, isn't that cute?" I blush at Josh's teasing. "Awww, you're whipped." He says.
"Not as much as you over Kyra." I counter.
"I think Kyra and I are better off as friends."
"Friend zoned? Sorry man." I say, placing my hand on his shoulder.
"No, no I just think she's too...what's the word? Sweet, yeah sweet."
"What's wrong with being sweet?"
"It's boring." He replies. "I want to be on the edge. I want a girl who can keep me on my toes. Like that girl, Stevie. She's something else."
I smirk at how smitten Josh is over Chase's friend.
"If, by some miracle, you do end up with Chase could you please help me out with Stevie? Put in a good word or something?"
"Sure." I reply with a chuckle. "If by some miracle."
*
Rachel does not take the news of the break up very well.
I stop her after school and tell her. Her emotions range from disbelief to sadness to anger in the matter of a few seconds. She rambles on and on about how much of a mistake I'm making and how we can work through this.
"Are you for real? Are you fucking serious? We've been together for a year and now you want to break up? Everyone loves us together. We're the school power couple. Do you really want to just throw all that away?"
"This isn't working out Rachel." That's the first complete sentence I've managed to say in this entire conversation.
"We literally slept together last night."
"I know and that was a mistake. I shouldn't have come over last night."
"You know what" Rachel says as she takes a couple steps towards me "screw you, I've always thought Zach was better looking than you anyway." With a final flick of her long brown hair, she struts off. "And by the way." She adds. "You didn't break up with me, I broke up with you."
I say nothing as her figure walks away and start to question if I did the right thing, if choosing Chase over her was the best decision to make. But my doubts come to a halt when I see him walking home with his friends. And I know, for sure, that I want him.
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Sorry this chapter is 118% dialogue. I know it wasn't great.