My heart feels like a stone
I'm so afraid of what I've done
I can barely breathe, I can hardly believe
That I am deserving of love.
So I rush to the kitchen
With my teeth tight and gritted
Find the bottle on the bottom shelf
I pour myself a glass
My soul full of wrath
And I drink down the liquid fire
It feels like I'm numbing
But that's what I wanted
And the flame licks through my chest
My brain starts to buzz
And I'm not who I was
Less than ten minutes ago
Everything seems hilarious
As I laugh in the blood rush
I dance and I drawl like a fool
I shout and I scream
Feel like Wolverine
And I throw things because I feel cruel
I hear and I see things
Perhaps they're just dream things
Or I know better than I did before.
I've opened a portal
Into what's immortal
And I've let the wolf in at my door
Then I trip and I fall
And I slide down the wall
The tears streaming over my face
I cry and I cry
And I'm begging God why
Did I lose something I can't replace?