*Harry's POV*
"Hey, how's Louis holding up?" Niall asked with a mouthful of crisps.
"I don't know. I haven't talked to him in a like two days" I sighed while running a hand through my curls.
"Do you think this break was a good idea?" Niall raised a brow.
"I...kinda. I mean it's what we need so I can't argue. We just need some time apart."
Niall nodded. "That's understandable."
I nodded in return and took a handful of crisps.
My phone began to ring. I swiped the answer button across the screen, seeing it was Liam. "Hello?"
"Harry?!"
"Yes, Li?"
"Get over here now! I don't know what happened, but Louis locked himself in the dorm! I called and called him, but he won't answer! I'm worried! You gotta get here now!" Liam panicked.
"Okay, okay! Niall and I are on our way!"I hung up. Niall looked at me with worried eyes.
"What's wrong?" he asked.
"Louis locked himself in his dorm and he won't answer. We gotta get over there" I grabbed my keys and ran to the door with Niall closely behind.
Is he sleeping? Is he just ignoring everyone? What if something happened? My heart pounded so hard, I could barely breath. What if my dream is starting to take place?
Niall and I arrived at the dormitory and sped to Louis' dorm. We ran down the halls seeing Liam, Josh and Zayn standing outside Louis' dorm. "What's going on?" I asked panicking.
"We don't know! He won't answer!" Zayn said. Liam pounded on the door calling Louis' name while Josh just stood there with a worried look and gnawing on his lip. I walked to Liam and joined him in the door banging. "Louis? Loubaby, open up please!"
No answer.
"Louis, open the door!"
No answer again.
"Louis, open the God damn door now!" I yelled.
"LOUIS!"
Tears started streaming down my face. My chest was rising and falling quickly and I was breathing hard out my nose. It fell quiet for a second except for my sniffling and breathing.
I looked at Liam. "Li, bust the door down."
Liam's eyes grew wide. "W-what?"
"You heard me, bust the fucking door down now!"
Liam just stared then composed himself. He backed up until his back hit the dorm door across the hall. He glanced at me. "Do it!" I demanded. Liam looked at the door and charged for it. It swung open, coming off the top hinges. I sprinted inside.
"Oh my God!" I cried, covering my hand in shock.
There lied Louis sprawled on his bed. His eyes were closed and his lips were slightly parted and chapped. His wrists had four deep, raw cuts on them. The knife was still sitting in his left hand. His duvet and clothes were covered in blood. I looked at his nightstand that had a bottle of anti-depressants on it. "Call an ambulance, Niall!"
When I heard no response, I spun around to Niall who just stood there with big eyes. "NIALL?!"
"I'll do it" Zayn said, his voice shaking.
I nodded at him before turning back to Louis. "Oh, Louis I'm so sorry. Everything's gonna be okay. You'll be okay, I promise."
I ran my hands through his hair. "I love you" I whispered then kissed his lips softly.
"They'll be here ASAP" Zayn announced walking over to Niall and taking his hand, trying to comfort his shocked boyfriend.
"Baby, I love you" I repeated.
Liam came over and pressed his head to Louis' chest. I bit my lip, watching intently. Liam looked up at me. "He has a very, very slow pulse. They need to get here pronto."
I nodded and looked down at Louis again. "Baby, why'd you do this? I thought you wanted to fix yourself. Is this the answer? This is how you wanted to fix yourself? Suicide?!" I yelled.
Liam placed his hand on my shoulder, but I shrugged it off. "Louis, why?!"
"Harry..." Liam called.
"Louis, why?! You can't leave me! Not like this! We can do this! Don't give up you fucking pussy!" I sobbed.
"Harry..."
"Back off, Liam! Louis did you honestly think this was the way? Well screw you! Don't leave me like this, you twat!" I pounded my fists on Louis' chest. "Never talk to me again or move back to Doncaster but don't...don't leave me like this...I-I love you!"
"Harry!" Liam grabbed my wrists and looked me in the eyes. "You need to calm down."
"I CAN'T CALM DOWN! HE TRIED TO KILL HIMSELF! MY DREAM WAS RIGHT! FUCKING RIGHT!" I screeched.
Suddenly, two medics came through with a stretcher.
"Step aside!" one yelled.
They picked Louis up and carefully placed him down before rolling away. I trudged along, holding Louis' hand.
"I love you" I whispered to him. "So much."
○●○●○●○●○●
"The cuts on his wrist weren't that deep so they'll heal in time. As for the depressants, he took exactly twenty-one pills. If you guys would've came a little later, he would've died. When he wakes up and is released, I'd like to have him admitted to a self-help group. He seems to have been suicidal many a times from the older scars I've seen so I think it's best he gets some help" the doctor stated.
"Wait, Louis' tried to commit suicide before?" Niall asked.
I sighed. "It was his sophomore year. He was going through a dark time with being gay and all."
Niall nodded sadly. "Oh."
"When will he awake?" Liam asked.
"Who knows. It could be later today or tomorrow or a week. We'll let you know ASAP, but for right now no one can see him" The doctor answered.
"Thank you" we all said. I sat back down in my seat and gripped at my hair.
"Hey" Zayn kneeled down and placed a hand on my knee. "You okay?"
"Not really. I mean, he's alive so that's good. I'm just glad he didn't d-die" I said.
"He'll be okay" Zayn reassured.
"Hey, I know Louis. He's a tough cookie. He'll make it through" Liam said.
"If he's so tough why did he try to kill himself?" I said, my voice raising making everyone flinch.
The room fell silent. I looked over all the guys before shaking my head.
"Exactly" I said standing up and walking out the hospital without another word.
○●○●○●○●○●
The warm water cascaded down my body, cooling my aching muscles. I had been cooped up in that hospital chair for three days, waiting for Louis to wake. Liam had finally had enough and said that I stink so I should at least go home and shower and eat. I reluctantly went though. Josh also accompanied me to keep an eye. Liam's orders...sigh.
I heard a knock. "Harry" Josh called.
"What?"
"It's Louis. He's awake."
I immedately turned off the water and jumped out the shower. I quickly threw on my Jack Wills jumper and some gray sweats. I swung the door open and ran for my keys.
"Let's go!" I told Josh.
"You didn't eat. Let's at least get carryout" he said.
"No. Fuck that. Hospital now" I demanded.
Josh sighed and followed me to the car. Ten minutes later, we arrived at the hospital. I ran to the reception desk. "Hi, Louis Tomlinson."
The nurse looked at her computer and typed some stuff. "Ahh, yes room 212" she said looking up at us.
"Thanks!" I sprinted down the hall as fast as I could.
200
202
204
206
208
210
212
I stopped and stared at the doorknob.
"Go in" Josh said. I turned to him with a worried expression.
He faintly smiled and patted my back. "It's okay. He's awake. Go see your man!" he encouraged.
I chewed on my lip and turned back to the knob. My hand reached up slowly and I twisted the knob, but didn't push.
"Come on, it's okay" Josh whispered.
I let out a deep breath and pushed open the door. There stood Zayn, Liam and Niall talking to Louis. I looked over at Louis. He was pale, had chapped lips, his eyes were sunken in and he had bags. I gasped at the sight. My poor baby.
"I'm gonna go to the canteen to get something to eat" Liam said. Niall, Josh and Zayn followed him, leaving Louis and I.
I awkwardly watched the door and bit my lip. There was that burning sensation in my head. Just like the beginning of school. I turned to see Louis staring at me, fiddling with his fingers.
"Hi" I croaked.
He faintly smiled then looked down at his hospital gown. I sighed and walked over to to the chair.
We sat in silence for a minute until I broke it. "Why?"
Louis glanced at me, "Why what?" he asked barily audible, his voice so groggy.
"Why did you do it?"
Louis sighed. "I'm disgusting."
I shook my head. "No you're not! Louis, you're beautiful. Why do you insist on putting yourself down?"
"Because I deserve it! I'm pathetic, weak, ugly, disgusting, unfaithful, stupid and arrogant. I hurt you. Not only this one time, but many others. I killed my grandma. I'm hiding who I am from my parents. I...I-I was r-raped" Louis said, his voice breaking into a sob at the end.
My eyes grew wide. "What?!"
"I was r-raped!" Louis cried. "Two days ago. Max found me and he raped me. In my own fucking dorm. I tried tried to break free, but I couldn't! I'm fucking weak, Harry! I lost my v-virginity to him. Not you. I love you so much and you're the only one I wanted to take that from me but no, Max took it like it was just a piece of clothing or something! Don't you see, Harry?! I'm pathetic and weak and worthless! You deserve someone who isn't me. I'm not a good person. You can compliment me so many times, but I won't believe it. I'm not beautiful. I'm used and trashy and stupid. All I do is mess up and now I got what I deserve. Horrible things happen to horrible people. I deserve to die..." he covered his face in his tiny hands and cried harder.
"No, Louis! Don't say that!" I reached over and pulled his tiny frame into me, his head going into my neck as I stroked his hair. "As soon as I find that disgusting arsehole, I will fucking wring his god damn neck! I can't believe he put his hands on you!"
"He did...it hurt so bad Harry...but he k-kept going" Louis sobbed, his tears streaming like two rivers and drenching my neck and shirt, but I didn't care.
"Baby, I'm so sorry for what happened. We will get justice. That nasty bitch is going to jail! And please don't say those things. I love you so damn much with all my heart. You're not pathetic or used or ugly or horrible or weak. You're none of those things. I see you as the beautiful Louis Tomlinson who cared for his grandma. I see you as the fun and lovable Louis that pulls pranks at work to make me laugh. I see you as the helpful, kind, hilarious and fun Louis. I see you as the Louis I fell in love with. Yes, you hurt me, but I forgave you. And you didn't kill your grandma. Things happen, Lou and you just gotta deal with them. People die and get injured. People cheat. People fight. People make mistakes. But, baby, trying to kill yourself isn't the answer. When you make mistakes, you gotta learn from them. That's just how life works and Louis I'm willing to be here for you. I wanna live my life with you because I love you" I said then kissed the top of his head.
Louis huffed. "You say you love me, but I don't see why. I don't love myself."
I grabbed Louis' hand and gently pressed my lips to his palm. "Loubaby, I will help you love yourself. I will show you just how amazing you really are."