The rest of the week passed by in a blur amidst the ever surmounting pile of research essays they were being assigned by their professors. The weather had finally shifted into the promise of autumn and October was unusually colder than it had been in previous years. Lily had been disappointed at first since it meant that studying under their favorite tree by the great lake meant bundling in two or three extra layers. Even then, they were only able to tolerate about twenty minutes outdoors before having to retreat inside to the library.
Marlene didn't mind though; she much preferred the atmosphere that the library provided both in terms of temperature and the silence that allowed her to concentrate. Outdoors there were far too many distractions and she was firm in her persistence to keep her studies a primary focus.
Lily still wouldn't acknowledge that she had any romantic feelings for James. Despite her unforgiving body language that contradicted her denial, Marlene knew that she had been right in her assessment. Initially Lily had pointed out that their trip to Hogsmeade was strictly head duty related. However, she couldn't provide enough evidence to support this and eventually stopped trying after noting the smug look that Marlene offered her every time she tried.
Mary had been spending an awful lot of time with Alice since their disagreement but she seemed happy and made no effort to settle with the girls. Lily didn't seem too bothered by this anytime that Marlene brought it up but she was rather known for her stubbornness and even if she was, in fact, unsettled with their argument, she was doing an excellent job hiding it.
The morning of Saturday arrived before Marlene had a chance to fully think about it and she was disdained to discover that her usual bundle of nerves had resurfaced as she awoke and realized what day it was.
"You're going to be fine," Lily said encouragingly. She looked as if she was trying to convince herself more so than anyone and Marlene was inclined to admit that she probably was. After all, she had detested James for the better part of five years and had somehow discovered herself in a position that opposed that.
After the two girls finished getting dressed for the day they wandered down to the great hall for breakfast. Mary was already there, sitting with Alice and engaged in conversation with a few of the sixth year girls that Marlene did not know by name. She smiled at them politely as they passed by her but made no motion to join.
"I wonder if she's ever going to get over this," Lily creased her brows as they settled into their seats halfway down the table from their friend. "This is just getting silly."
"I think we really hurt her feelings," Marlene felt saddened that she had been a cause of her friend's distress but Lily scoffed from across from her and shook her head. Clearly, she didn't feel the same way.
"Mary is a big girl," Lily said firmly. "She is almost eighteen years old and she needs to realize that not everything revolves around her."
Lily's words weren't meant to offend Marlene but she couldn't help but recoil slightly as she realized that she had been guilty of this not so long ago. Lily didn't seem to notice her trepidation and instead helped herself to the pile of toast in front of her.
"So what's your plan then today?" Marlene asked after she had poured herself a glass of orange juice. She hadn't noticed where the boys were as they didn't seem to be at breakfast and she hadn't seen them when they had left the common room. Lily didn't seem too concerned about their whereabouts though, so Marlene wondered if they had planned on leaving for Hogsmeade together or not.
"Well I thought we could hit up Honeydukes first," she replied casually in between a bite of her toast. "I need to pick up some more chocolate frogs to take home for mum at Christmas."
"I thought you were going with James?" Marlene was confused. This was the impression she had been under all week and hadn't planned to spend the day with Lily.
"We're not spending the whole day together," Lily looked mortified. "I've been trying to tell you all week that we have head duties to perform, it's not a date. I figured we could meet up with the boys for a butterbeer later on this afternoon before James and I have to work."
Lily didn't seem to want to diverge much else on the subject and Marlene was left frustrated with whatever information Lily was purposefully holding back. Her eye caught sight of Mary laughing at the far end of the table and she stopped herself from pressing Lily further on the matter; she knew that prying any further wouldn't do her much good.
"Alright," she said instead.
After the girls had finished eating they travelled out of the great hall to join the other students that were eagerly buzzing about Hogsmeade. As they exited the castle they were met with a cold gush of frosty wind and Marlene had to wrap her scarf around her neck to prevent herself from shivering hysterically. As they walked the familiar pathway to the small wizard village a few glistening snowflakes landed gracefully on Marlene's eyelashes and she looked up towards the dark grey clouds above.
"It's starting to snow," she said out loud to no one in particular and Lily looked up from beside her to see what she was looking at.
Sure enough, by the time they had entered Hogsmeade, a light flurry of flakes had graced their presence. There weren't enough to create any sort of lasting effect and each flake melted as it touched the ground below their feet.
The girls found their way to the Honeydukes shop and quickly hurried inside to escape the growing cold. As they made their way around the large candy bins, excusing themselves from running into the large number of students that had also hidden away inside the warm comforts of the shop, Marlene passed by a familiar container labelled cockroach clusters. She smiled when she recalled the fond memory of how she had observed Sirius eyeing them up and wondered what he had managed to use them for. She had never bothered asking.
It was easy to get lost in the store. There were so many things to look at and new exotic candies that hadn't been there the last time she had visited that she and Lily easily spent the better part of an hour exploring and selecting their purchases. By the time they had paid at the register it was nearing in on noon and Lily suggested that they visit the book shop quickly before meeting the boys at the Three Broomsticks.
As they neared the store, however, Lily suddenly tugged on Marlene's sleeve and pulled her from the bustling crowd and off to the side of a large building.
"Lily what –"
"Shhh," Lily shushed her hurriedly. She glanced around nervously before realizing that the crowd around them hadn't noticed their strange departure. They were quite clearly a fair distance from anyone and Lily breathed out in a sigh of relief.
"Are you going to tell me what is going on?" Marlene whispered quickly. This was not typical Lily behaviour and Marlene was starting to feel an unwelcome shiver racing up her spine.
"I can't tell you here," Lily replied back hastily. She was still glancing around nervously. "James and I will be leaving the Three Broomsticks at some point and I want you to follow me after."
Marlene looked at Lily like she had lost her mind. Although, the words she was listening to had convinced her that Lily had lost her mind.
"If you think James is going to try something – " Marlene wasn't quite sure what it was that Lily was afraid of but Lily shook her head quickly to show her that this wasn't the case.
"I can't say," she repeated. "I can't risk being overheard. Do you trust me?"
"Yes of course," Marlene breathed and she could see her breath from the cold. She shivered again, remembering now just how chilly it was outside and began missing the warm confinements of Honeydukes. She hadn't brought a warm enough jacket for this weather and wished willfully that Lily would get to the point so they could escape the cold.
"After James and I leave I need you to meet me at the Hogshead thirty minutes afterwards," she had dropped her voice even lower so that Marlene had to lean in to hear her. "Don't ask me any questions. Do you understand?"
Marlene nodded her head. Despite her confusion, she knew that Lily meant business.
"You can bring Sirius."
And then she yanked Marlene back into the street and began pointing out the book shop up ahead as if the whole thing had never happened.
**
When they finally entered the Three Broomsticks the warmth from the little tavern was welcome to Marlene. The snow had started falling much thicker in the time they had spent in the bookstore and by the time they had reached the Three Broomsticks their feet were leaving footprints behind them in the freshly fallen snow.
"I wish I had worn a heavier cloak," Marlene finally admitted out loud as they passed through the threshold of the shop and looked around for an empty table. It appeared that nearly every other student had already beaten them to it though, and they were unable to find one unoccupied.
"I wonder if the boys are already here," Lily mused quietly. They started looking around for the familiar faces and spotted the mop of James' unruly jet black hair in a far corner at the back.
Marlene could feel the butterflies in her stomach fluttering. Lily intended to leave her alone with Sirius for at least the thirty minutes she had asked for and she wasn't sure if Remus and Peter would be there. She fought with her inner nerves as they struggled to push through the crowded pub towards the table.
Sirius wasn't there when they arrived but James was deep in conversation with Remus and abruptly stopped talking as they strolled up. He had looked like he was having an intense conversation but the sternness of his features disappeared as he caught sight of Lily. His face broke out into a wide grin as he greeted them and moved over to make room.
"Where are Peter and Sirius?" Lily voiced the question that had been floating around in Marlene's head. She was thankful that she wouldn't have to be the one to ask.
"Peter wasn't feeling good today," Remus answered simply. He looked quite tired, almost as if he should have stayed back too. "And Sirius is over there getting drinks."
Marlene glanced over to where Remus was pointing. She could vaguely make out the back of his head at the bar but there were so many students it was hard to be certain it was even him.
"It's bloody cold out there," James said with disgust. "You girls look like you're freezing."
"Yes I wasn't expecting it to get quite this cold today," Lily said with disappointment and Marlene watched with interest as James offered her his jacket. The confusion surrounding Lily's vagueness about her meeting with James was intensifying by the minute and Marlene couldn't wait to figure out what was really going on. "So what have we missed?"
"Well that couple of there," Remus pointed his finger towards two Revenclaw students that appeared to be either fourth or fifth years. "They've broken up twice since we got here about an hour ago, causing quite the show for everyone."
James was laughing as Remus said this. It didn't sound all that amusing but both boys seemed overly entertained about it. Marlene observed the couple in question quietly and noted that they looked quite miserable as they sipped on their butterbeers in silence.
"What were you girls up to this morning?" James changed the subject and Lily wasted no time telling him all about the new candies she had sampled at Honeydukes and the new book she had purchased.
Marlene wasn't overly interested in listening to Lily talk about their morning as she had already experienced it firsthand. As she filtered out Lily's voice her eyes wandered back over to the couple sitting a few tables away and watched them with disinterest. It appeared that they were arguing again but they were speaking very quietly and she didn't know what they were saying. Their fight was only apparent by their unsubtle body language and wild hand gestures.
Her eyes moved away from them and around the crowded pub. She could see Mary and Alice at a far table along with the group of sixth year girls she had seen them with at breakfast and wondered briefly what they were chatting animatedly about. After a moment her eyes trailed back over to the bar to where she had thought she had seen Sirius.
It was definitely him. He had turned slightly so that she could see his side profile. He wasn't making his way over to their table though and after a student that was blocking her view moved she could see why. Standing in front of him and talking enthusiastically was none other than Natasha Madley.
Sirius was smiling and Marlene could feel her heart sink as she watched their exchange. She couldn't bring herself to pry her eyes away from them despite how nauseous the sight was making her feel. Lily had mentioned that Natasha had wanted to ask Sirius to Hogsmeade this weekend but she hadn't believed that he would actually accept, especially since he had agreed to meet with her for a drink.
Natasha was giggling at something and moved her hand forward to give Sirius's arm a slight squeeze. He was talking and didn't attempt to pull away from her gesture.
"What do you think Marlene?" Lily's voice had floated back into the foremost of her conscious but it wasn't enough to pull her attention away.
"Hmmm?" she said instead but she wasn't listening as Lily repeated her question.
"I was asking what you thought about – Oh!" Lily's voice had trailed off after her exclamation of surprise. Marlene hadn't really heard it though because she was too focused on what it was that Lily had been taken aback by.
Natasha had leaned forward and was kissing Sirius.
Despite her inability to look away before, Marlene felt the tremendous lurch in her stomach as she watched Natasha's lips make contact with Sirius's and she had to tear her eyes away from them for fear that she might be sick.
"I need to go," Marlene couldn't contain the frantic edge in her voice. She didn't wait for a reply as she pushed herself away from the table. She could hear the trio talking to her but their words weren't comprehendible. As she forced her way through the crowded pub she knew that she was being a bit more aggressive than normal in her desperation to get outside. Suddenly, the warmth within the pub was stifling and she could feel her throat constricting in a need for a breath of crisp fresh air.
She pushed through a group of first year students but didn't stop to apologize to the one that stumbled backwards into a table. She reached the door and threw it open allowing a large gust of snow to pour inside and into her face. She didn't care and instead brushed the flakes from her and stepped out into the street.
She needed to get back to the castle and quickly. She had managed to contain composure long enough to make it outside but as soon as she was free from the confinements of the pub she could feel the salty tears begin rolling freely down her cheeks. Of all people that it could have been, why had it been Natasha?
The snow on the ground was piling up now and the grey clouds were dark an ominous above her. The once bustling street was beginning to dwindle as passerby's hurriedly moved through the snow covered pathways and into their intended shops.
"Marlene!" The voice came from behind her but was distant enough that she knew the owner wasn't close behind. She figured that it was Lily coming to check in on her but she was in no mood for her pitying looks and sympathy so she trudged on ahead without stopping.
She could hear footsteps hurriedly approaching from behind her and knew that Lily wasn't going to give up so easily.
"Look Lily, I'm really not in the mood at the moment," she had swung around fiercely but was astounded to discover that it wasn't Lily that was approaching her.
She quickly wiped at the tears pouring down her face as Sirius came to a stop a foot away from her. He was slightly out of breath from running and he looked extremely troubled.
"It's not what you think," he said quickly, a desperate edge to his voice.
"What are you talking about?" Marlene tried innocently enough but the look on Sirius's face told her that he knew why she was so upset.
"I didn't kiss her," he pleaded. There was no way that he had been able to see that she had witnessed it and she wondered which guilty party had been the one to break the news to him. "I didn't know she was going to do that, I swear it Marlene. I pushed her away the moment it happened."
"It's fine," Marlene forced a painful smile with her lie. She had no authority over what Sirius did with his life and he shouldn't need to apologize because she didn't like it.
"Is it?" he asked angrily. "No I don't think it is. I don't like Natasha that way and it wasn't okay for you to have to witness that."
Marlene shivered from the chill. Since she had stopped moving she realized just how cold she was and she moved her arms instinctively up to wrap around one another.
"Let's go inside and talk about this," Sirius held his hand out for her to take. He was still looking at her with concern.
"I just want to go back to Hogwarts," she shook her head. Sirius didn't seem discouraged and continued to hold out his hand.
"Then let's go back to Hogwarts," he reached forward and pulled her hand away from her arm when she made no movement to take it. The moment that his hand made connection with hers she could feel the familiar electric shock course through her body, warming her up almost instantly and her pulse quickened as his hand closed around hers.
"I love you Sirius," she blurted out without thinking. She watched him as his eyes widened in surprise and the hand holding hers relaxed slightly. She took advantage and pulled her hand away from his, pushed herself forward towards him and threw both her arms around his neck, pulling his face down and kissed him with such intensity that she wasn't sure he could breathe properly. But she didn't care; all that mattered was that she was finally kissing him again.
She had half expected him to pull away from her but his arms encircled her waist and pulled her into him. His lips tasted salty, no doubt from the remaining fragments of the tears that had been streaming from her eyes, but they moved against hers, eagerly matching the fervour that she had put forth when she had initiated the kiss.
After all the misery she had been feeling during the last few months she didn't know it was possible to feel so complete. Being with Sirius was everything that she had wanted and needed and kissing him left her feeling overwhelmed with delight. It was as though a missing piece had been found the moment their lips had connected and the familiar foggy sensation began to cloud her thoughts of anything unrelated to the present moment.
Marlene imagined that they could have gone on like that for much longer but a large explosion at the end of the street had vibrated at their feet and caused them both to pull away hurriedly. Sirius was looking behind her with creased eyebrows; his expression evident with concern.
"What was that?" Marlene breathed quickly. The sound had come from behind her and she followed Sirius's gaze to the direction from which it had emanated.
"I think we need to go," he said hastily. His voice was firm, unwavering, but he looked nervous.
There was a large billow of smoke at the end of the street and people were pouring out of the shops to get a better look. Marlene thought she could hear screaming in the distance so she turned back towards him and opened her mouth to voice this when her words got caught in her throat. A muffled and strained cry omitted instead.
"What's wrong?" Sirius looked down at her with alarm. Marlene pointed a shaky finger at something behind him and he turned around quickly to see what it was that she was pointing at.
"Deatheaters."