Marlene had awoken on the same damp and filthy floor of the second floor girl's lavatory, still entwined in the embrace of a pair of strong muscular arms. Her neck was slightly stiff from having rested at a less than ideal position but it was pressed firmly against the chest of her companion. She could feel his chest rising slowly with each breath and the sound of his heart beat was soft and soothing to her. She counted the beats silently in her head for a few moments before opening her eyes and lifting her gaze upwards.
Sirius was leaning against the wall behind him. His eyes were closed and he seemed to be at ease in what she could only assume was the most uncomfortable position possible. She allowed herself to stay curled in his lap as she rested her head back against his chest.
"Hey," he said quietly. Marlene felt her lip tremble slightly but she did not open her mouth to reply. She felt his hand reach up to stroke her hair once more in a comforting gesture and she felt herself pull him closer at his touch.
"I'm so sorry Marlene," he continued. A new wave of realization for what he was referring to brought fresh tears to her eyes. She felt her vision go momentarily blurry as the tears pooled but she refused to allow herself to lose control over her emotions again. The task seemed relentlessly unmanageable for her even if she wanted too as she was completely depleted of strength.
"Thanks," she finally managed to choke out. His grip on her tightened and she allowed herself to feel appreciative of the comfort he was trying to provide her. His hold was warm and welcoming and Marlene felt no desire to pull away but she knew that they had been hiding away in the bathroom for an immeasurable amount of time and she would need to face reality sooner rather than later.
"There's no rush," he said soothingly as if knowing what was going on in her thoughts. "I'm sure Lily has told Professor McGonagall where you are and they'll be expecting you when you're ready."
"I'm never going to be ready," Marlene managed to reply almost bitterly. Sirius gave her an empathetic squeeze. It appeared that he did not know how to respond to her.
"How long have we been in here?" she finally asked him once the silence had finally gotten to her. She pulled away from him slightly to look up into his face and noticed that he looked extremely tired.
"Quite a few hours I imagine," he said simply. "Classes are probably ending shortly."
"You didn't need to stay with me this whole time!" She felt guilty that, because of her, he had missed an entire day of school.
"Don't think for a minute that that nonsense is more important than your well-being," he looked alarmed that she had even suggested it. She felt an overwhelming sense of gratitude as she recognized his genuine concern.
"I don't want to face everyone," she didn't really know who 'everyone' was. Surely she would be fine with seeing her friends but even at the thought of Lily and Mary hovering over her shoulder, asking her if she was alright, their heightened emotions triggering a reprise in her emotions made her feel a wave of nausea flood over her. It was bad enough that Sirius had witnessed her in her weakest moment; she dreaded the thought of living it all over again amongst the rest of her peers.
He nodded his head in understanding. For a brief moment their eyes connected and she could detect a trace of pity in them before he looked away guiltily. "If we hurry we should be able to get there before classes let out."
Leaving the bathroom was a much harder task than Marlene had bargained for. Standing from the floor where they had been positioned for hours suddenly made Marlene aware of how uncomfortable she had been. Her entire body was aching and she concluded that part of it was in fact due to the extreme mental exhaustion that she had endured.
Sirius stood first and offered his hands to help steady her to her feet. She stumbled a bit as she realized that her leg was asleep but his steady grasp prevented her from tumbling over.
"Are you ready?" he asked timidly and Marlene glanced over towards the mirror on the long wall quickly to survey the damage. Her eyes were severely red and swollen; it was clearly evident that she had been crying hard for hours. Her hair was slightly disarrayed from the originally neat plaited bun she had been sporting earlier in the day and her uniform was slightly wrinkled.
Marlene turned away from the hollowed girl staring back at her and nodded slightly to Sirius. He helped guide her out into the deserted corridor where she was thankful to see that classes had, in fact, not yet been released for the day.
The walk was slow and quiet. Marlene hadn't any idea where they were headed as she had never visited the Headmasters office before. She wasn't entirely sure that that was where they were headed but she was too exhausted to ask him. Instead, she allowed him to direct her to an unfamiliar part of the castle and vaguely listened as he offered some sort of password to an inanimate gargoyle statue that she had never noticed before.
"I suppose I've been here recently," he said sheepishly even though she hadn't bothered to ask. The statue had sprung to life and revealed a long spiraling staircase upwards. Sirius indicated for her to proceed forward and followed closely behind as she made her way up the stone stairs.
They were standing in front of a large oak door. Sirius stepped ahead of her and knocked loudly. She was barely paying attention when they were ushered in, the large door closing loudly behind her. Her focus immediately set on the intricate display of portraits surrounding the tall and magnificent room. Dumbledore's office was quite breathtaking and Marlene was shameful to admit that, under different circumstances, she would have been fascinated to spend hours observing its brilliance.
"Ahh Miss McKinnon," she could hear him say quietly. There was a tone of empathy lining his voice. "My deepest condolences for your loss."
Marlene lost focus again. She was too intrigued with a portrait of a large man snoozing in a red velvet armrest to pay much attention to the conversation that Sirius was having with their headmaster.
"Marlene," Sirius tapped her shoulder lightly a few times before she blinked from her gaze at the portrait and turned her attention to look at his face. He looked sad and a momentary irritation flared up in the pit of her stomach before she was able to remind herself that he had been nothing but helpful. Still, his pity was a good reminder of exactly how she was going to be treated by everyone else she came into contact with.
"What?" she asked a little ruder than she had intended. She didn't bother to apologize but Sirius looked unfazed.
"Your Uncle Tom is waiting for you; Professor Dumbledore would like you to meet him tonight if you're ready to leave."
"Now?" she asked incredulously.
"Of course," Professor Dumbledore added softly, "should you need to collect any belongings or take care of any unfinished business before your departure you are welcome to do that before you leave."
"No," she said quickly. She did not feel like facing her friends. "I don't need to do anything before I go."
"Very well," he said in reply. He moved towards the large fireplace behind his desk and pulled out a satchel of what appeared to be floo powder.
Marlene turned to face Sirius. He was looking at her with the same sad expression. His hand reached out as if to touch her but he quickly pulled it back and brushed a strand of hair from his eyes instead. She was unable to say anything to him but she hoped that he understood how much she had appreciated all that he had done for her.
"If you will Miss McKinnon," Professor Dumbledore offered her the bag. She grabbed a pinch and for a moment the thought crossed her mind to take her home. Reminding herself that she wasn't going home brought another wave of distraught and she couldn't help the tears cascading from her eyes as the vision of Dumbledore's office whirled away and she was transported away in a haze of green smoke.
**
"You're welcome to stay a couple of extra days if you like," Uncle Tom's voice floated into Marlene's thoughts. February was much colder in Godrics Hollow than Marlene was used to back at her parent's house; it hadn't stopped snowing since she had arrived and not once had she seen the sun peak through the massive grey overcast. On this particular day she had been sitting on the ledge of the bay window staring out into the empty street and watching the snowflakes fall gracefully from the sky.
"I think I'm ready to go back," she said softly. She looked over at her Uncle Tom. He had seemed to have aged a few years in only the few months since she had last seen him. He looked tired; the dark circles under his eyes seemed to be permanently etched into his face. He half smiled at her which emphasized the soft wrinkles that had formed along his brow line.
"Are you sure?" he asked hesitantly. It was not in his nature to be overbearing but Marlene knew that he was new to parenting and was trying to make the best of their situation. She nodded.
Marlene had been indifferent at the time when Tom had explained that he had been given guardianship of her until her seventeenth birthday. She only had a few months of being underage left anyways so it hadn't mattered much to her. It was a harder adjustment to step inside her parent's empty house, lamps smashed to the floor in a thousand fragmented shards of porcelain, scorch marks adorned on the wall leading up the stairs. Pictures were smashed, hanging crookedly from the staircase or scattered on the floor. She had looked longingly at a few of them before the emotions had gotten the best of her and she forced herself back outside into the front yard.
There were a few curious neighbors nosy enough to approach her but she had ignored them dutifully and allowed her Uncle Tom to insist that the family wished to be left alone in their period of grief. She had learned that her parent's deaths had been passed off as a break and enter gone wrong so that surrounding muggles wouldn't grow suspicious.
The funeral had been short and simple. She had discovered after she had left Hogwarts that her parents had been killed due to their affiliation with the Order of the Pheonix. The name had sounded familiar to her and only when the first letter from Sirius had arrived did she connect the movement as the one he had been referring to only a few weeks prior.
Lily and Mary had offered to come but she had respectively declined their proposal.
"Another letter arrived for you this morning," Uncle Tom's voice floated back into her head. He was handing her an envelope and with a quick turn she had recognized the handwriting to be Sirius's.
He had been extremely thoughtful enough to owl her a few times during the weeks since she had left him standing in Dumbledore's office. She had never been able to bring herself to reply to him but instead he wrote again, never looking for an answer as to why she hadn't. Mostly his letters were filled with miscellaneous nonsense; Lily had taken up the task of informing her of full details on assignments and readings but Sirius had taken the time to fill her in on all the misgivings of their latest adventures and pranks. She assumed it was his attempt at cheering her up but she knew that he was withholding the really good stories, the ones she wasn't privy too under their marauder code.
Bert had only tried sending her the one letter. It had been very short and simple; expressing his sympathy and offering his support to her. She hadn't even given the letter much thought when she skimmed over it and she refused to allow herself to feel guilty for her ignorance on the subject. She was in no mood to deal with that situation.
She had been avoiding school for nearly a month and she was beginning to miss the familiarity that Hogwarts had to it. While Uncle Tom was her family, Hogwarts was more of a home than the unfamiliar house she had moved into. He had tried to make her feel welcome but she was realizing quickly that she would never quite get used to it being hers. She was also becoming increasingly aware of the insurmountable homework she was falling behind on as Lily's letters had been arriving daily for the past week with more assignments.
"Dumbledore is expecting you tonight," Uncle Tom said after she had explained this to him, strategically leaving out the bits that suggested she felt out of place in his house. When it was time to leave she had thanked him for everything, given him a firm hug goodbye and with a "see you in the summer" she was once again engulfed by the familiarity of floo powder as she headed back to the only place that felt like home.