legit every time i post this i keep forgetting to say but like a lot of c's videos will be based off jenn mcallister or alyx weiss go watch them they're like pretty obviously dating but even if they're not alyx is gay and jenn keeps liking tweets about her being bi so...... get on that gays
anyway my crazy just jumped out go subscribe to them both bye
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"You look..." Camila trails off, and Lauren waits patiently for a positive adjective, "no words."
"No words in a good way?" Lauren asks, and Camila nods so aggressively that Lauren worries she'll give herself whiplash. "Alright, I'll take that. You look gorgeous, Camz."
"And we're both wearing black," Camila observes, hands reaching out and smoothing down the dress, and Lauren practically melts at the feeling of her fingers tracing the length of her curves, "great minds think alike."
"More like soulmates think alike," Lauren comments, and before Camila can react, she changes the subject. "So, um, I told my mom we'd reconnected. She was really happy to hear it. Like, really happy. Probably happier than I was."
"Good to know my charm still works on all the Jauregui women," Camila chuckles, and she takes Lauren's hand, seems to consider something for a moment, and leans in, kissing her on the cheek. Lauren's heart flutters and she wonders if she's being obvious. "You really do look beautiful, Lauren. I'll have the hottest date at the entire premiere."
Lauren knows she's using the word date as a general kind of descriptor, not necessarily referring to anything romantic, but it still makes her stomach flip. "I mean, I'm not going to dispute you on that. I am pretty hot."
Camila smiles, and threads their fingers together, pulling through to the lounge. "I think we can probably squeeze in an episode of Game of Thrones before we have to leave. Dinah and Normani take their time when we're going places."
"Can I be honest with you?" Lauren blurts out as she smooths out her dress and sits down on the couch. "I'm- um... a little nervous about this event."
Camila blinks as the words go in, and when a fond smile settles on her face, Lauren feels even more embarrassed. "That's sweet. You have nothing to be nervous about. We'll just walk the red carpet, looking hot, and then go into the building and watch the movie. Basically like... like a trip to the movies on crack."
Lauren opens her mouth to comment on that last part, because she doesn't think that being on crack is something to joke about. As someone who had almost experienced an addiction, she'd rather people didn't make light of it, but she knows Camila didn't mean it in that way, and it's not like they've talked about any of that yet. That's a conversation she'd rather not have, if she's being honest, so she keeps her mouth shut and focuses on the issue at hand.
"I know, but... you have a lot of fans, right," Lauren says, and before she can give Camila a chance to reply, she continues, "what if they don't like me? Or what if- what if I trip and ruin the red carpet, and- and I'm just not cut out for all of this."
"Hey, no, first of all, the only thing I'm worried about is you upstaging me," Camila laughs, "and I mean, you know how clumsy I am, so if anyone trips, it'll be me."
Lauren sighs, resting her head on Camila's shoulder as the younger girl gets an episode of Game of Thrones up on the TV. "I just... feel like I'm not going to fit into your world. You're this... this megastar and I'm just some lame college student."
"I'm hardly a megastar," Camila snorts, "if I was, I wouldn't be able to walk down the street without getting mobbed. Sure, in the YouTube world, maybe I'm recognisable, but mainstream media still dominates. Besides... my world will always have a place for you."
Lauren's stomach twists and turns. "You mean that?"
"Yeah," Camila smiles, "god, I really want to play with your hair, but I don't want to mess it up."
"I like to make my hair look intentionally messy, so go ahead," Lauren mumbles, wrapping her arms around Camila's waist, and she practically melts when the younger girl starts running her fingers through her hair. "Hey, Camz?"
"Yeah?" Camila asks, and Lauren rolls her eyes a little when Joffrey comes on screen. "What's up?"
"Do you ever see yourself moving into mainstream media?" Lauren questions, because she knows that if Camila really worked on her music, she could be propelled to stardom. "Or would you just stick to YouTube?"
"Well, I mean... do you know Troye Sivan?" Camila asks, and Lauren nods in reply. "Well, when he became a real musician, he sort of... ditched YouTube, and I saw a few people accusing him of like... thinking he was better than it? Which is completely stupid, because I know Troye, and he's so sweet. I feel like for me, if my music ever really took off like that, I'd still post videos as much as I could. Obviously not weekly, because it takes up like two full days a week just filming and editing, and when you're a musician, you're constantly writing or recording or touring, so that wouldn't be realistic. Yes, music is my main passion, and if I could go into that full time, I would, but I'd still put up as many videos as I could, even if it was monthly rather than weekly."
Lauren plays with Camila's fingers, "Because that's what people know you for, or because that's what you love to do?"
"A little bit of both, honestly," Camila shrugs, "I mean, some of my viewers only watch my vlogs and comedy videos, and others prefer the music, and I wouldn't want to just alienate them. I feel like I have a good balance right now, you know? Even if I do post a cover or an original song, there's still my weekly vlog, which reminds me, I'll need to get some footage for that tonight. It's always great when I actually do something interesting."
"I'll watch anything you post," Lauren murmurs, and she means it. Since they'd reconnected, she'd managed to get through all of the videos up on Camila's main channel. "You're so creative."
Camila is quiet for a moment, and Lauren wonders if somehow she'd said something wrong, but then the younger girl just blurts out, "Will you be in a video?"
Lauren frowns, not quite understanding. "You want me in a video? Why? It's not like I can bring you any publicity."
"Well, no, obviously not, but it's not about that," Camila shakes her head, "I'd collab with someone with one subscriber, as long as they were my friend and we had a good time together. And I know we will have a good time."
Lauren considers it, but she isn't sure she wants to be put out there under the public eye. She knows that the internet brings out the worst in people; because they're hidden behind a screen, people say the stuff they wouldn't dare to say to your face. She opens her mouth to say no, to apologise, but takes one look at the hopeful spark in Camila's gentle brown eyes and finds herself nodding. "Okay. Yeah. I'll do it."
Camila grins practically from ear to ear, and Lauren's heart soars at the sight. "Okay. Good. We don't have to do anything like, extreme. Ooh, I've never done a mukbang before, we could order a bunch of food from Domino's and just pig out and talk."
Lauren hums. It doesn't sound too stressful, so she nods. "Okay. That sounds good."
"Alright, Camren, time to go, car's here," Dinah peers around from the hallway and raises her eyebrows at how close they are. "Well, you look comfortable. Sure you want to come?"
"Yes, yes," Camila rolls her eyes and stands up, holding out a hand to help Lauren up, and the older Latina takes it, not intending on letting go as they walk out into foyer. Almost as if she can sense Lauren's nerves, Camila smiles, kissing her cheek again. "You'll be fine. You look absolutely stunning, so you don't need to worry about the pictures."
Camila holds her hand as they get into the car, and makes sure to sit next to her. Lauren practically snuggles her the whole way there, and she knows she's probably coming off as clingy, but it's not like this is new for them. When they were children, they were always snuggling at any chance they got.
When they get to the venue the event is being held at, Lauren can't help but feel a little out of her depth. Even though Camila had been so sweet and reassuring, she doesn't really know how this kind of thing works, and she knows that people will be wondering why the hell she's even there.
Dinah exits the car first, walking the carpet solo, and Normani follows her, meeting her date, a guy named Val. Then Ally, who meets up with her boyfriend Troy and takes his hand as they walk down the red carpet. Camila sends her a reassuring smile, watching as they walk, stopping for pictures and surrounded by photographers, yelling at them to look in every single possible direction at the same time. It's all very overwhelming, especially the flashes of the cameras.
"We're good, okay," Camila assures her, bringing Lauren's hand up to her lips and kissing the back of it. "Just a nice, slow walk down there, and then we're in the building and we can sit down and watch the movie."
"Have you done this before?" Lauren asks once they're told to start walking. She winces a little at the flash of the cameras; her eyes have always been sensitive to light. "You know, walked a red carpet."
"Once," Camila replies, and takes a moment to pose for a few pictures before they're told they can move along, "I like to pretend it never happened, though. I was seventeen and I dressed like a math teacher."
Lauren snorts, and Camila gives her a soft elbow to the side. "What? That's funny."
"I don't know anything about fashion," Camila rolls her eyes, "Dinah and Mani pick everything out for me nowadays. Otherwise I'd have shown up in skinny jeans and a plaid shirt."
"Wow, what a lesbian," Lauren teases her, and poses for a few more pictures with Camila, knowing that she'll probably look awkward and squinty and out of place, but not caring, because it doesn't matter what some jerks on the internet say. Camila had invited her to this event, not some other super popular YouTuber who could give her exposure.
She's grateful when the pictures are over, and they're ushered inside to their seats. Camila and her plus one are situated between Dinah and Ally, so Lauren feels comfortable around the people she knows.
"Can I, um..." She trails off, not sure if it's appropriate here, "can I rest my head on your shoulder?"
"Duh," Camila smiles, wrapping an arm around her waist, and Lauren rests her head on Camila's shoulder. "Hey, remember that time you said if I was a guy, I'd be the best boyfriend ever?"
Lauren cringes. "Yeah. Sorry about that. Especially because I said the d slur. I guess I thought if I acted like I was disgusted by liking girls, I'd make myself look straight. I probably really upset you and I'm so sorry about that. I know how you... um, felt. Back then."
She keeps it light, casual, and most importantly, past tense. While there have been some vibes she'd usually pick up as flirting, there's a huge part of Lauren that doesn't believe she's good enough for Camila, and she finds it hard to believe that Camila could ever feel romantically towards her again after the way she'd treated her and how toxic she'd been.
"At the time, yeah, but it's so funny to look back on now," Camila laughs, "because you're damn right. I'm chivalrous as fuck."
I don't doubt that, Lauren thinks, and she wishes she was brave enough to take that risk, to kiss Camila, but she doesn't want to make any unwanted advances. She's almost always been unsure of taking that first step, mostly with women more than men. With men, it's obvious that they're into you, but women are much more subtle, and some straight women can be weirdly flirty and Lauren has a habit of getting mixed signals, so to be safe, she never makes the first move with girls.
"Yeah, you are," Lauren answers, wondering how things will be when Camila gets a girlfriend. Obviously, she's not going to stay single for long, because Camila is completely gorgeous, and smart, and funny, and she has pretty much everything anyone would want in a woman. And Lauren knows that if she were Camila's girlfriend, and Camila was as touchy with another friend as she is with Lauren, that she'd get jealous.
"What're you thinking about?" Camila whispers as the movie starts. "You look super contemplative."
Lauren thinks up a lie pretty quickly. "Just... thinking about how surreal all of this is."
Camila laughs. "It's pretty surreal to me too. I can't believe YouTube led to all of this stuff."
"I'm so proud of you," Lauren informs her, squeezing Camila's hand. "For everything you've achieved and accomplished. Three million subscribers."
Even though they're in a dark room, she can see that Camila is blushing. "I'm proud of you too, you know?"
"Why?" Lauren whispers back, nuzzling her face against Camila's shoulder affectionately. "I haven't done anything. Not anything close to what you've achieved."
Camila shakes her head, and her fingers start tracing patterns across Lauren's bare upper arm. Lauren feels sparks follow the younger girl's fingertips and wonders if Camila knows the effect she has on her. "I mean, you could've easily just given up when it came to your schoolwork; I know how much your grades slipped, especially in your sophomore year, but you worked your ass off and now you're studying law, which is what like, smart people study. And at a really good college. Just because you achieved something academically rather than creatively, that doesn't make it any less of an achievement."
Camila wants to add something about getting off whatever drugs Lauren was on, but that's something they've not talked about, except awkwardly glossing over it on their first meeting. Camila gets the feeling that it's not something Lauren would want to talk about, so she doesn't ask.
"I know, but still, you're like..." Lauren trails off, trying to think of a word better than rich, "set for life, basically."
Camila shrugs, and when she kisses the top of Lauren's head, her stomach flips. "YouTube isn't forever. I could start losing views and subs and that'll be that. I'm not as secure as you think."
"Yeah, but," Lauren sits up, and meets Camila's gaze in the darkened room, "I find it hard to believe that people would get bored of you."
Camila beams at her, and she looks so happy and light that Lauren is reminded of the moment she'd realised she loved her. That was the moment she can pinpoint her feelings to, the moment she realised she'd always loved her, even if she hadn't quite comprehended it.
2006
"Lolo!"
Lauren smiles as she pulls away from her mom, running into the hug and snuggling into Camila's outstretched arms. "Hi, Camz. Happy ninth birthday!"
"I'm old now, like you," Camila grins, and takes the present Lauren passes her, "for me?"
"For you," Lauren smiles and her stomach does that twisty thing when Camila smiles. "Did you invite everyone for a big party again?"
"No, I don't like the people in my class," Camila reminds her, and Lauren knows that. She knows she's Camila's only friend. Even though Lauren has other friends, she likes Camila the best, and she knows that's the way it's supposed to be. Everyone has a best friend, and Camila is Lauren's. "But I love you, mi amor!"
At the words, Lauren blushes, and watches as Clara gives Sinu her overnight bag. She takes Camila's hand, and pulls her into the empty lounge, pulling out the mood ring from her pocket and holding it out. She wanted to give this to Camila in private. "This- um, this is for you too. I asked... I asked my papi how he got my mami to stay with him forever, and he said he gave her a ring, and it's called... um, I think it's called opposing, I don't know, it was a long word. But, um, I'm opposing to you. Oh, wait, papi said I need to be on one knee, hold on."
Lauren gets down on one knee and holds the ring out; she'd bought it especially with her allowance; it cost two whole dollars, which was two weeks allowance, but she knows that Camila is worth it, and she wanted to buy her a present with her real money, not just something she makes her mami buy for her.
Camila blinks and takes the ring from Lauren. It fits perfectly on her fourth finger, and she smiles, admiring it. "Thank you for opposing to me. I- um, I would oppose to you too, but I don't have a ring..."
"No, that's okay, only one of us has to do it, that's what papi said," Lauren explains, "and now it means we both want to be together forever, and he said a word that starts with an e, but I can't remember what it was. I stopped listening because I was already thinking about how to buy you a ring."
"I love you, Lolo," Camila smiles, pulling her in for a tight hug, "and I'm happy we're staying together forever."
Lauren nods, and she feels a funny feeling in her stomach, a feeling she's never felt before. All she knows is that she never wants to stop feeling it. "I love you too, Camz."
"Hey, Camz?" Lauren nudges her, and Camila blinks, like she'd almost been falling asleep. Lauren, who hadn't really been watching the movie at all, gets that it probably isn't that good. "Do you still have that mood ring? The one I opposed to you with?"
Camila chuckles lightly, and nods. "Mhm. I have that, and the first picture you ever drew of me."
"That was ten years ago." Lauren's stomach flips like it's an instant reaction, but she plays it off like a joke, "Wow, we're the definition of a long engagement."
Camila snickers, and elbows her in the side. "Oh my god, don't try to make me laugh, we have to be quiet!"
Lauren just smiles. "Maybe I like the sound of your laugh."
It happens again; one of those longing looks. Green meets brown, and for a moment, it's like nothing else matters but the two of them. In that moment, Lauren genuinely feels like maybe Camila feels the same way about her, that maybe this beautiful woman sees something worth loving in her.
Their moment is shattered by a cheap jumpscare in the movie, the loud music jolting Lauren out of her trance. She blushes, and rests her head back on Camila's shoulder, reminding herself that it's not going to happen.
VLOG 35 – WALKING THE RED CARPET
1,094,849 views
Camila Vlogs -------- SUBSCRIBE: 1.2M
Published Oct 17, 2016
"So, we just got out of the movie, what'd you think?"
Camila angles the camera towards Lauren, and she shrugs. "I mean, I barely got to watch it, you were gossiping so much."
"You were gossiping, weirdo." Camila pokes her in the upper arm. "Don't go spreading lies about me, Lern Jergi. Anyway, I had the hottest date to this premiere, look at her, she's gorgeous."
Even in the low lighting, Camila's camera picks up the pink blush on Lauren's cheeks. "Shut up, you're gorgeous."
"You want to fight me?" Camila raises her eyebrows teasingly, "Because I could go all day, you know."
[Write a comment...]
camilaxdinah are they flirting or is it just me
Dinah Jane Hansen it's not just you lol
CamrianasLove Idk I get weird vibes from this lauren girl hopefully ariana will make camila realise that
ththtlcamila Yeah I feel you she seems like a bitch
liked by camrenisreal and 1,746 others
CamilaUpdates: Camila and her friend @laurenjauregui at the premiere for the new YouTube Red movie tonight in LA
an hour ago
camrenisreal: 'friend' come on it's obvious they're dating
CamilaUpdates: They're not unless they say they are
superrrcabello: idk im not sure about her i think its weird that a random nobody just suddenly wants to be bffs with mila at the height of her sucess
camila_cabello: *success and i've known her since i was six so NEXT
liked by laurenjauregui, allybrooke and 53,936 others
camila_cabello: hey @laurenjauregui lets build a time machine and go back to tell our lil seven year old selves that we'll be the hottest bitches at this premiere
23 minutes ago
laurenjauregui: Cussing at seven year olds??? Why Miss Cabello, I think I may be a bad influence on you.
camila_cabello: says the girl who still sleeps with a stuffed animal
laurenjauregui: You have absolutely no proof of that.
camila_cabello: what happened to 'i don't give a fuck i'm not embarrassed about it anymore'
laurenjauregui: Fine!!! I'm not ashamed of the bond Nala and I share!!!!
normani: Wow crop me out bitch I see how it is
camila_cabello: SORRY MANI U KNOW UR STILL MY FAV