some things I've realized:
i am only a girl. who tries not to base her self-worth on the way the world sees her. and yet, she does anyway. because without the perception of the world, i am nothing. i can only be a fleeting thought or dream. but i want to be solid and tangible to touch. but not base my soul off of accomplishments or trace the outline of myself with trophies and certificates. i know myself. and i don't need anyone to know me but me. there is no need to prove my validity with something to hold and admire when i am tangible enough myself. touch me. i am a shivering girl who is brazen in her vulnerability. on some days, it is hard. on some days, it is easy. but in the end, i am known to the world as who i'd like them to perceive me as. a girl who is kind and who at first loves tentatively, and then all at once. she has no trophies, but her heart bleeds freely. look at her hands. they are my hands. they are sunbrowned and not very soft, they spend a lot of time working on the garden. they try to help me grow. these are hands that are sometimes shaky, sometimes hide things, sometimes tap on knees out of nervousness. but these are also hands that stir the cheese into the macaroni, the hands that gently carry a newborn baby, the hands that coax a dying plant to believe that life is worth living. these hands, whatever else, do not bring death.