song: good times bad times by Led Zeppelin.
Jill's pov.
"good morning baby." i whispered to the tired blonde drummer who was laying next to me on my bed. today was the day that we were going to America and i was so excited!
"morning." he said a little distantly. i frowned a little but i thought it was just that he was tired or something so i shook it off.
"we're going to America today!" i squealed and put my arm around him. i was about to place a kiss on his lips but he turned his face around as soon as he saw my lips approaching his. what the hell?
"okay then." i sighed and got up.
i walked to my bathroom and decided to take a little shower. we had about two hours before leaving, and everything was packed, so we weren't in a hurry. i shut the door -but didn't lock it in case roger had to use it- and started undressing myself. i took off my - roger's - oversized white t-shirt that i liked to sleep with. then i took off my underwear. now the bruises from last night were visible on my thighs, arms and hips. i don't know if he meant to hurt me or something, but he really was rough last night. it did turn me on, i admit, but i really hope he wasn't so mad at me that he wanted to use violence against me again, i hoped that it was just something to turn us both on.
for a monent i stared at my naked figure from the mirror. my eyes started watering a little for some reason. i just felt so alone, even though i had Roger. the fact that he had cheated, probably more than once, was still haunting me. why would he want to fuck someone else? was i not pretty enough? was my body not good enough? i wanted to trust him, but everytime he was spending a night without me, i couldn't help but wonder who's body he may be touching. it was unfair that the moment someone else just friendly put a hand on my waist he got so mad, but if he cheated it was just a drunken mistage or something like that. but once again, i loved him too much to admit that he could cheat more and i loved him too much to leave.
i kept staring at myself until i heard footsteps coming closer the bathroom. i quickly wiped my eyes and jumped in the shower.
there was a knock on the door and it was followed with a raspy voice. "can i come in? i need to brush my teeth."
"yeah." i said quietly, but just loud enough for him to hear. the door opened and i opened the shower. i felt the cold water hit my petite torso and it felt really refreshing.
i could see from the side of my eye that Roger looked at me up and down, and it made me laugh a bit. i knew he was trying to be angry with me but he couldn't keep his eyes off me. after he checked me out for a second, he turned around to face the sink were he had his toothbrush. Roger didn't live with me but he was here so often that he had a spare toothbrush here, for some reason i found it really cute.
i washed my body while he was brushing his teeth next to me, trying not to look at me. i kind of hoped that he would leave soon so i could dry myself alone, but he didn't. i shut off the shower and turned to face him, hiding my slightly shivering body behind my arms. i was practically hugging myself.
"could you give me the towel?" i pointed at a white towel on the other side of the bathroom.
he put his toothbrush away, washed his mouth, then took the towel and gave it to me without saying a word. i just rolled my eyes.
as soon as roger walked out of the bathroom, shutting the door behind him, i walked up to the sink and washed my face before looking at myself again. i really hoped that the whole time we fly to America Roger won't give me the silent treatment. it was so annoying.
i walked out of the bathroom, went to my room and put on a flowy short-sleeved sundress. Roger was downstairs probably making breakfast so i decided to go join him since i felt like i was starving.
i walked down the stairs and saw him making tea and eating a biscuit. with his messy morning hair and his tired blue eyes, Roger was the cutest person i'd ever seen. i really just felt like squeezing him and holding him forever.
i took a few eggs and a pan out and started making some crambled eggs. it didn't take long, but by the time i was ready, Roger was sitting by the table with a tea and a newspaper in front of him. i took some tea that was left as well and put some of the crambled eggs on a plate.
"you want some?" i asked him. all i got was a shrug. really?
"i take that as a no." i sighed loudly, making sure that he'd hear it.
i sat down with my plate, my mug and a fork in my right hand. it was so quiet that it almost made me uncomfortable. the tension could have been cut with a knife. i couldn't let him be like this all day, it was soo annoying.
"what's up with you?" i lifted my head up to face him "what did i do now?"
"nothing." he said quietly.
"listen, if you're gonna be like that all day, don't even dream about me being with you through this whole tour. i'm sure Brian, Freddie or John wouldn't mind sharing hotel rooms with me, or they probably wouldn't mind sitting next to me on the plane." i snapped. he lifted his head with a look that could kill.
"wow. bet you wouldn't mind sharing hotel rooms with Steven." Roger muttered. was that what this is all about? was he still jealous that i chatted with him last night?
"really? you're fucking childish. you're really jealous about that? i think i made it very clear last night that 'i'm yours only'. is nothing enough?" i rolled my eyes once again.
he didn't answer.
"also, why can you go around fucking other people but when i change a few words with someone i used to know, suddenly i'm the slut and i'm doing everything wrong." i spat out.
"you weren't just changing a few words. you were acting like a bloody slut! besides, i don't go around fucking other people." he said coldly. he could be so rude sometimes, i wonder if he ever noticed that.
"are you fucking serious?" i had now completely forgotten about my breakfast, and i was just sitting still, staring at him dead in the eye. he again didn't answer.
"and yeah sure you don't go around fucking other girls. it has happened at least once so i wouldn't be surprised if it has happened like five times. it's pretty fucking sad that i'd give you my everything, but you wouldn't do the same for me."
"what the hell are you talking about? why do you think that?" his face expression changed quickly.
"well, if you'd give me your everything, i don't think you would look at other girl's asses the way you do, or you definetely wouldn't have cheated, even once." i meant everything i said.
"but you can go and let your ex touch you while you're dressed like-" as soon as i heard that, i raised my eyebrows at him "...like te way you were." he cleared his throat.
"would you cut that out!" i suddenly yelled. "if the way i dress bothers you, just tell me! if you really think i'm some kind of a slut, you're so fucking unfair. you don't even really know me. you don't even know what's going on in my mind. you don't even know that you're really just hurting me right now!" i felt tears roll down my cheek, and soon i felt a warm hand grab mine. Roger's face expressions were now sad and guilty
"Jill i'm sorry i didn't mean that... i didn't mean to hurt you baby. you mean everything to me and i can't bare to know that i have hurted you in any kind of way. i would do everything for you, i'd give my everything to you." the tone of his voice suddenly changed to calm, sweet and caring, and even a little sad.
i nodded and sniffled a little. i believed him. those words made me feel better already.
"did i hurt you?" he suddenly asked after a moment of silence.
"huh?"
"did i hurt you?" he asked again, nodding towards my arm, that was covered with a few bruises. shit i forgot about them already.
"no no, it's okay. don't worry." i chuckled a little and wiped my eyes.
"i love you Jill."
"i love you more."
after we out our breakfasts, i looked at the clock. it was already 12.30 pm, and it was time for us to get ready to leave. we were supposed to meet at the studio at 1 pm. we'd go to the guys' flat first to get all Roger's stuff and meet the lads there then we'd go to the studio to get some things they needed, and then we'd get a driver to take us to the airport.
"babe we should start getting ready to leave." i smiled and he nodded with a hum.
i put our dishes in the sink and then we both walked upstairs to change. Roger had some of his clothes here so he just put them on. i decided to keep my sundress on, since it was so comfortable.
i stood in front of a mirror as i fixed my hair a little, still keeping it kind of messy. i saw Roger standing behind me and wrapping his arms around my waist and leaning his chin on my shoulder in a really cute way.
"you're so beautiful." he whispered and i couldn't help but blush.
"stop it." i laughed.
"never." he started attacking me with kisses and all i could do was giggle. i lived for moments like these. i don't know what they meant for him, but to me these moments were my everything.
"time to go to America baby!"