Wow, I think I write too much? If you enjoy long-ass chapters, then here you go.
Chapter written by @LightBlonde_Latte
____________________
"Knock knock!"
A sigh. "Fuck off."
"No no no no." Alyssa Sanchez- or Lys, if you will- shook her head rapidly, disappointed one would blow her joke off. Granted, it wasn't the first time that had happened, but she was still insistent on getting it across. After all, knock knock jokes are very valuable. "It's 'who's there?' And then I go, 'Idaho.'" She nudged the woman next to her with her elbow, silently asking for her to continue it. After the indication went unnoticed, (or maybe ignored), Lys raised her hands. "And you say, 'Idaho who?'"
Taylor, her 'I'm-done-with-your-shit' doctor shot her a look of irritation. "I know how the joke goes, Lys."
"Well, in that case, knock knock motherfucker."
"Whoever's there, fuck off."
"Idaho."
"Idaho, who?"
Alyssa was thankful Taylor at least had the decency to humor her. Better make the most out of this. She paused for effect, head tilting and lips twitching upwards in a slight smirk.
"I da hoe!" she exclaimed cheerfully.
Taylor groaned, hanging her head in defeat. "Lys, you're in the middle of a fucking medical exam, for once in your life please take this seriously."
Lys raised an eyebrow, as if to ask how in the name of Messier 81 Taylor expected her to take this serious.
Alyssa was... an interesting person, to say the least. There was never a time where Lys didn't make a joke, much less take something seriously. Her personality was one you might call bubbly, flirtatious, joking, excitable, or loud. Some would even say all of the above.
In her book, everything seems brighter when there's someone around to toss a joke, or just laugh. Even staring into the face of death, she deemed it suitable to crack a smile. After all, one never knows what happy moment could be their last. You really do only live once, and if you want to spend that life moving around and downplaying everything, then so be it. But Lys was not that person.
So, yeah, in her opinion, you better make the most of what's given to you.
It paid off, too, especially when someone was needed to lighten the situation. Hell, take when her brother Eli was hospitalized with cancer. She made it tolerable- fun, even. (He was better now, thank god. The incident was years ago.)
And although she may seem insufferable at times, she was at least trying. And in her book that was okay.
Another thing to know about Alyssa Sanchez- she piled her emotions in a bucket, and then threw them out and around for everyone to see. "Hormone-driven," her brother Marco had called it. She liked to think of it more as an open book.
Because fuck it, if she was feeling anything at all... then screw the universe- Lys would dramatize that emotion tenfold. Unless, of course, the emotion was anything negative or painful. Those were buried deep down for no one to ever see. After all, it was her responsibility to keep people happy.
Probably an unhealthy mindset, but fuck it.
Lys Sanchez was most definitely one of a kind. Most people had yet to figure out if that was a good thing or a bad one.
There were negatives to her lighthearted humor, too. For example, when Lys had her first training simulation she crashed it within the minute, courtesy to her twisted sense of humor. It wasn't her fault she heard the instructor say, "Houston to IX, we're approaching Uranus-." It also wasn't her fault that the simulator was outdated, and still pronounced the nearby planet "your anus." That pronunciation was renounced at least a few hundred years ago- all the way back in the 3900's. Needless to say, she laughed her way into failure.
And it wasn't even that funny.
Fuck, once she had her brother Leo engineer her go-cart to fly... and shoot fire. The apartment complex had all burned down, but damn was it worth it.
"Tilt your head back?" asked Taylor. Lys complied, if not a bit dramatically. "Thank you, Alyssa."
On another note, Lys was actually starting a "go fund me" for an expedition specifically focusing on the colonized sections of the Andromeda galaxy. Her plan was to share some of Earth's beloved music with the uncultured swine living up there.
Not many agreed with her, but she personally was a sucker for that really, really old music they had around two thousand years ago. One king, a legend and god in her eyes, named Brendon Urie was totally worthy of this expedition.
His music, though virtually unknown nowadays, is like the holy grail to her. Completely worthy of sharing. Music and kinky boots alike.
Shakira was great, too, though she'd have to admit her Spanish heritage made her a bit biased. A ella le gusta la gasolina.
Regardless to however crazy it may be, she had quite a few supporters. People with still enough common sense to listen to the good music. Not that clashing of robotic sound waves that were being shown around these days.
"Raise your dominate arm, please, and rotate it slowly."
Lys did so dutifully, if only to not piss Taylor off even more. "Hey, Taylor." Or maybe not. "You up for a challenge?" she asked, wiggling her eyebrows.
"No."
"Please?"
"I'm not doing shit for you and your fucking jokes, so please Lys, let me continue this in peace." Alyssa's arm was allowed down again. "Lean to your left, if you will."
Instead, Lys leaned foreword into Taylor's face. "Are you completely, utterly positive you're not up for a little, itsy bitsy joke?"
"Will it make you shut up?"
"Bend over and spell run-"
"Oh my god, Alyssa." Taylor exclaimed loudly, throwing off her headset, exasperation clear in her voice. "I am not doing that! Me, a certified doctor, leaning over and shouting 'are you in?' Imagine if someone walked in!"
"With my karma they most definitely would." Lys laughed, imagining that very scene. "That would be hilarious."
Taylor shot her a dark look. "I will end you."
"C'mon, you're only twenty-three! Live a little, Taylor."
"I'm living and breathing just fine, thank you." Taylor retorted.
"That's not what I meant, you shit."
"Look." Taylor set down the vial of blood she has recently drawn from Lys's arm. "Let's just finish the examination. I know how much you hate it, but it's vital for your records. You're taking on this journey in, what is it now, two months? One? You need to be in exceptional health."
"Yes, so I've been told." Lys smiled and tilted her head in agreement, knowing of the importance, just not particularly caring. "However."
"Lys, I swear to the heavens above-"
"Look, look, just hear me out!"
"Lys, no."
"Lys, yes." She pouted. "Hey, I've been sitting on this table for the past two hours having you shove streptococcal pharyngitis sticks up my ass-"
"I haven't shoved anything up your ass."
"-and honestly, I can't sit still any longer." Lys threw her hands in the air. "Have you met me? I don't do silence!"
Taylor just sighed, sterilizing another pair of glass tubes. "Five more minutes, and then we're done."
Alyssa groaned as loud as humanly possible, making her discomfort obvious. All this waiting, testing, scanning, observing- especially when Lys knew that she was perfectly fine!- was giving her a headache. Taylor, who was a distant, distant friend of Lys's, didn't make matters any better. You'd think that one of the youngest certified astrophysical medical specialists would be cool, entertaining even.
Yeah, well, apparently not. Focused on her career, honest to god, blah blah. She had at least three sticks up her ass.
Now that she thought about it, most of the people at NASA had sticks up their asses. But what did it matter, soon enough this headache would kill her and Lys wouldn't have to bother with boring people anymore. Hmm. That might just be nice.
A loud slam jarred Lys out of her thoughts. Taylor was closing the drawers with unnecessary force. "I do not have three sticks up my ass."
"Did I say that out loud?" Alyssa pondered, amused. "Whoops."
"Whatever, just get the fuck out of here before you break something and put both of us through another two hours of retesting."
"I'm free to go?"
"No, you're staying here forever until you rot." Seems as if Taylor did know what sarcasm was after all.
Lys let out a small shriek of joy, before hopping off the medical table. "Yeehaw!"
Taylor froze where she was recording Lys's tests. "Did you just-"
"It's Texas, everyone says yeehaw."
"What the actual fuck."
Lys raised an eyebrow. "Are you judging me?"
Taylor snorted. "Of course not, I would never have enough time to list all the fucked up things about you, much less evaluate and judge them."
Alyssa laughed. "That's fair."
"But... yeehaw? Seriously?" She sighed when Lys flipped her the bird. "I'm just saying, next time you get on me for not 'being in' with the memes, I'll kick your cringy, hypocritical ass."
"Yeah, but at least I know what a meme is." Lys shot back.
"Whatever. Now seriously, get out of here. If your ungraceful self doesn't break these vials in the next thirty seconds, then a miracle will have just occurred."
Ungraceful her ass.
"And besides," Taylor continued. "These tests I just ran required straight set of data into the processors. I'm sure your sexuality will find a way to mess that up too, seeing as you're anything but straight, so you seriously better get going before I find a reason to call you back and retest you."
Lys rolled her eyes. "I'm half straight, you asshole."
"It doesn't work like that, Lys. Bisexuality is more of you're just not fully either, rather than just half of one, but sure."
"Yeah, yeah." Lys returned to her enormous signature smile, raising her eyebrows. "Just twice the amount of options though."
Taylor rolled her eyes. "And twice as many people to reject you."
Shaking her head, Lys leaned against the doorframe, deciding to annoy Dr. Spile for another minute or two. "So, what do you think my results will be?"
"Gay."
"Haha."
Taylor looked skyward once again, seemingly a habit of hers. "You're probably fine. As usual. But you can't travel galaxies away unchecked, so get used to these visits for the next month until you take off, blast off, or whatever shit you call it."
Lys smartly decided not to comment on the condescending insult towards astronauts.
Taylor resumed her work. "Leave me be, Sanchez. The results will be processed in roughly three hours, and you can stop by anytime to pick them up. I'd personally rather you grab them sooner, so I don't have to stare down at your ugly name for the next few days."
"You know you love my name," grinned Alyssa cheekily. "At least, you'll learn to. I'm out for the night."
"At least it'll finally be quiet?"
Lys muttered a small "fuck you" under her breath as she slipped her hoodie back on and slid towards the door, before turning around and flashing another bright smile. "Wait, wait, Taylor, one more!"
Taylor frowned, confused. "One more what?"
"Knock knock."
"No, Sanchez, fuck off."
"Just humor me." Alyssa pleaded. "One more?"
Taylor let out a groan, not too different from Lys's earlier. "Fine."
"Knock knock!"
Taylor pressed her thumb and pointer finger to the bridge of her nose. "Who's there?"
"You suck," snickered Lys.
"You... suck, who?"
"Michael Jackson."
Taylor's jaw dropped in shock, her eyebrows downturning in an angered expression. She threw her hands up. "Alyssa Sanchez, I swear on my life if you say something like that again-"
"Adios, Taylor!" Lys laughed good naturally, all but sprinting out the room. "I'll stop by sometime tomorrow!"
"Don't fucking bother, you thot." A voice screamed back. "And for the record, Michael Jackson was so back in the 2000's!"
"It wasn't that long ago." grumbled Lys to herself, still slightly pissed at current society's music tastes.
But screw it, her examination was finally over, which was fan-fucking-tastic. Now all she had to do was worm her way out of the NASA chain of buildings and bunkers, and then- hallelujah- she was free for the day.
____________________
There's nothing worse than the feeling of being trapped. Well, maybe being left behind and alone, but Alyssa's personal fears weren't relevant. In a general sense, not one single person in creation- ever- enjoyed being at work.
Much less trapped.
And even less than that, trapped at work, when you're trying to escape.
In other terms, Lys just wanted to fucking die. Don't get her wrong- she loved her job. Sometimes more than life itself. Holding the position of the highest skilled pilot, in both an astronomical sense and a common fighter jet sense, was fucking lit, and Lys definitely worked hard to earn it.
But... then again, she was in it for the thrill, exploration, and curiosity. Even if the medical examinations and crap were part of the packaged deal, it didn't mean she had to like it.
So, in that moment, she could clearly say without remorse that she was not enjoying being in the NASA complex.
Lys's turtle-shelling into her hoodie increased as the President passed her with a clipboard and roughly six assistants. What the fuck was he doing here? Lys didn't know, and honestly she stopped wondering about shit such as that after the Elmo appearance.
Another thing about Lys; she needed to know every single fucking thing. 'The-overwhelming-urge-to-stick-your-fucking-nose-into-every-corner-of-the-universe,' her brother called it. She liked to simply say she was curious by nature. Insanely curious.
NASA permitted Lys access to a good portion of things, courtesy to her high position earned by her flight skills. The problem with that was most of the things she had been enlightened with were relevant to her position.
Diagrams for rockets, plans for further expansion of the unexplored solar systems by secret pilot launches, coordinates to decking stations open to only the best... all that jazz.
Yet naturally, it wasn't enough. Not nearly enough.
Her curious nature had her crawling around and snooping until she learned some of NASA's single highest classified secrets. Not that she had malicious plans where she outright intended to use them against NASA, no. It was more of her nature needing to know them, and the comforting mindset of if she ever needed some blackmail, she had it.
She weeded quite a bit out of her best compañero's mouth, too. Nathan worked with the heads of moon colonization... a job she would never, ever want. She'd even go so far as to kill someone just not to have it.
Nate sat in an office almost all day, and worked countless paperworks and meetings. It seemed awful. To Lys, life was something she was in for the thrill. The danger and adventure. She'd been to the moon. (Multiple moons, really.) Once was all she needed.
Nathan's job had him stationed at Earth's moon, but he occasionally came back for a few months to visit. (Coincidentally, he had just recently returned to Earth.)
In her eyes, however, that was pretty repetitive and boring. And god forbid she ever work in an office.
Yet regardless to what her opinion was, Nathan loved it. So really, who was she to judge. Besides, he got to fuck around with the officials and send in sarcasm reports. That must be nice.
Needless to say, he knew quite a bit of tea up there and was more than willing to share it with her. What are friends for?
Alyssa ducked behind a tank of oxygen, nearly getting caught and stopped by Sáo Cruz, the instructor to her next expedition. It's not that Lys wasn't allowed to leave NASA during the day, her schedule was random and she could practically do whatever she wanted. Perks of a lenient job.
No, it was more that if she was seen leaving, everybody would want to stop her and run over last minute diagnostics or shit. And honestly, all she wanted right now was a cold glass of lemonade and freedom.
As Lys ducked down another hallway, a young woman to her right caught her eye. She had shining brown-ombré-to-peach colored hair reaching at least a foot longer than Lys's medium lengthen hair, bright blue eyes, and the capacity of an evil smirk that would make you run for days. Her name was Tamayä Mackie, and she was one of Alyssa's closest friends in NASA.
Tamayä, who majored in the art of snidely blackmailing your ass (or small piloting missions in space, if you want to get technical), was currently waving Lys over, probably with a congratulations regarding Lys's trials.
"Lys!" she exclaimed, once Alyssa had reached her. "You survived."
Lys smiled. "Just barely, Tamä. I swear on my life if I had to endure one more second of Taylor poking around at my breasts-"
Tamayä snorted. "What breasts."
"Excuse you, they're there." Lys defended.
"'There' my ass, Lys."
It was Lys's turn to snicker. "What ass?"
"Okay, my claim was halfway reasonable, but I totally have an ass! Just cause it's not as nice as yours doesn't me you have to degrade it-"
An engineer passing by shot them a curious look, his face tinged pink from the conversation he accidentally overheard.
Tamayä shook her head and lowered her voice from a shout, shifting the folders she had in her arms. "But back to Taylor. She's straight, right? Why was she poking at your- mostly nonexistent- tits?"
"Fine, she wasn't actually doing explicitly what I said." Lys admitted. "But the standard examination is very thorough, and it's not my fault I feel fucking violated."
Tamayä shook her head. "Bravo, asshole. Oh, and speaking of Taylor," she grinned, "You know full well that I eavesdrop on the technical cameras whenever I get the chance. And I heard a little... phrase, you could call it."
Alyssa shook her head slowly at first, the speed gradually increasing alongside the intensity of her denial. "No."
"Yeehaw?"
"No!"
"Lys, what the hell."
Lys threw her head back and groaned loudly. "Stop judging me."
"Sure, I would, but you're from California. You grew up in California. As of five years ago, you lived in California. So why the fuck did you say yeehaw? I mean I get it if you're a typical Texan bitch, but you're not."
"When I was younger," Lys said, "I always wanted to move to Texas, purely because I wanted to be able to walk around saying 'yeehaw motherfuckers' and not be judged. So let me have my moment and don't fucking judge me."
Tamayä raised her hands. "Okay, that's fair. Another reason why I admire you."
Lys just laughed along with her, carrying onto a lighthearted conversation as they made their way through the halls. Lys was in significantly less danger of being stopped and drawn into a conversation if she had someone walking next to her.
Eventually, though, the conversation lead into a debate over Hypo or coffee.
Tamayä was great, one of Lys's best friends even. However, she was extremely opinionated- if not a little too much at times.
A common light argument between the two was the issue of coffee, the delicious caffeinated heaven, or Hypo, an intensified twenty-four hour energy drink. Coffee was just amazing, while Hypo tasted like shit. Not that Lys knew what shit tasted like, she was just guessing.
And her guesses told her that Hypo was shit.
It's not like she didn't take use of it from time to time. Everyone did. It especially served a purpose for the multiple all-nighters Lys pulled every week. So really, it didn't matter to her which one was preferred. (Now tea versus coffee... that was a different matter. Thankfully both Tamayä and Lys agreed on coffee.)
But no, Tamayä lived and sweared by Hypo, and by her strongly opinionated nature would do anything to convince people the same.
It didn't help that Lys was unreasonably competitive when it came to unimportant, stupidly small matters such as this.
However, she was used to it by now, and their talking continued smoothly for another few minutes.
Another thing on Tamayä: if her hair didn't make her stand out enough, then it was either her height or loud fucking voice. In Lys's opinion, Tamayä would make the perfect protester- someone who just parades around like shit and screams their opinions at people.
If not for the new issue of AI technology running most of the law and orders nowadays, Tamayä would have actually probably pursued that profession. However, it is how it is now, and the artificial thinking ensured the majority of the people's agreement in most matters.
On another note, Tamayä's height. It wasn't like she was a giant, but if one enjoyed hanging around Alyssa... then, well, naturally they're going to be like a motherfucking tower. It didn't help that Tamä's 5'9 build completely made Lys want to turn into a five foot three ball of fiery terror.
A terrifying thought, really.
When Tamayä and Lys reached the exit to the plane bunker, Tamayä nudged her, indicating that this was as far as she would go.
"Bye hoe," snorted Tamayä.
"Love you too," said Lys.
Tamayä just rolled her eyes. "Hey, just cause you're getting out of the rest of the day doesn't mean I don't have another training survey. Personally I'm hoping for one of the easier simulation courses but... since when do I ever get what I want."
"Well," Lys only shrugged, shooting her a teasing smile. "Not everyone can be as good as me."
"Shut up, little miss prodigy." said Tamayä, her grin completely going against the tone in which she spoke her words.
Lys gave her a quick side-hug. "I'll see you around. My brothers are visiting from Cali, and Nate's back from the moon again, but I'll have to stop by tomorrow to pick up my medical reports."
"I'm in the training room most of tomorrow," groaned Tamayä. "Despite me just returning from a fucking trip to fucking Venus, my instructor feels the need to work with me again. Just, stop by and bring me Hypo or something."
Lys laughed, shooting her some finger guns. "I'm brining you coffee. Adios, Tamä."
"Fuck you!" cried Tamayä, already five feet behind Lys's quickly retreating form. Lys, still snickering, only paused when she heard a strangled 'eep' from behind her, followed by a more audible, "Lys, wait!" and the sound of Tamayä running after her. "Here, take these!" She shoved one of the folders she had been carrying around into Lys's arms.
"What's this? A plan to blow up McDonalds?" asks Lys, referring to Tamayä's hatred for the place. Personally Lys didn't mind it, but Tamayä tended to have different health views than her.
"Ah," Tamayä cringed slightly at the thought of the now doubley-greasy fast food restaurant that was still going strong. "No, actually, though that does need to be addressed. This is your profile brief, I was supposed to be returning them to cadets in case of someone wanting to revise anything on there... but I forgot. John already left as well, so screw me."
Lys accepted the folder, tucking it under her arm. "Fun. I'll go over it later, say, maybe when I'm not rushing to catch my TeleT slot." She said sarcastically.
"Shit, right." Tamayä's eyebrows shot up. "Sorry." She didn't sound sorry in the slightest.
"Whatever, Tamä." Lys tilted her head to the side, trying to get some layers that had fallen out of her low ponytail out her face. "See you tomorrow? I have to try and catch the 20.11 Tele- oh, fuck. Estoy tarde otra vez, mierda. Uh, adios Tamayä. Te veo luego, thot!" And with that note, Lys smiled, and then ran.
"What?" screamed Tamayä after her, to which Lys just kept running, screaming a translation over her shoulder that she was late again. With a greater respect towards the Earth's conditions (not that it was working out), most of the people with enough money were forced into the TT Transport movement.
Instead of carbon dioxide exhaling hovers, they developed the new way of transportation called TeleTrans. Perks of 4025. How the system worked was definitely different from the independently driving hovers. It was like teleportation, but with multiple people at once, and no side effects or unintended accidental time travels.
The system ran like a bus route. You chose your checkpoint 'bus stop,' and then waited for your group's round to teleport you there. Once transferred, you had to walk the rest of the way, which Lys thought was a shitty deal. Not like she could argue the matter anywhere, but still.
TeleTrans, though insanely fast and developed, were most of the time inconveniently placed, which made the entire ordeal barely worth the fuss. Lys couldn't even count the number of times she would muse to herself how she'd rather just fly herself home. Alas, with all the people being forced into this arrangement nowadays, she didn't have room to complain. Besides, the Earth had been on the brink of it's extinction due to excessive o3 pollution one too many times before.
Alyssa couldn't really bring herself to dislike the intention.
Maybe, instead of bitching about the inconvenience, Lys could have Tamayä start a protest on the name of it. "TeleTrans" was... crafty. And very far from being original. Hell, there was probably predictions of its name back in the 2000's. Cringy was her middle name, but this was just sad.
Speaking of the inconveniently placed TeleT stops, at that point Lys was sprinting full speed towards the nearest one.
The schedule ran in numbers. There had been roughly 20 departures from that location so far today, 2,010 total in her general area, so she was rushing to catch transport 20.11. Shit.
Transport 20.11, which she was very, very late to.
That she had probably already missed if the empty stop ahead of her indicated anything.
"MOTHERFUCKER." Lys screamed, charging top speed into the empty deport spot, and then proceeding to flop down angrily on a rusting bench. She'd have to catch departure 21.11 in a few minutes. Fuck.
"At least it's nice outside," she mused to herself, just waiting for it to start raining for that comment. The sun was setting, and the one cloud on the horizon indicated that her karma was safe for once.
She exhaled loudly into the fresh air for a second, and came to the conclusion that the air cleansing acts were doing their part. With no memory of it being this serene and peaceful outside before, this was a nice change.
Maybe later in the future she wouldn't be too resistant to using the TeleTs.
After a few moments of silence, Lys decided to get reviewing her files over with. Tamayä would be upset if she didn't, and honestly she didn't see herself having free time to do it later.
So Lys, wiping her perspiring forehead, opened up the folder and began looking at her reports from last year.
Alyssa Sophía Sanchez, it read. Lys temporarily gagged at the mention of her middle name, which was renamed from her mother's. It wasn't like Lys didn't love her mother- she did, really. It's just that having one of your names the same as your mother's got exhausting, especially when her mamá insisted on calling her so.
One of Lys's earliest memory of her mother was something along the lines of her brother Leo being chased with a spatula screaming, "Mamá, no era yo, tè lo juro! Little Sophía stole the bread!" and then tackling a poor, unsuspecting three year old Alyssa. She thought Leo, who was seven at the time, got chewed out in rapid Spanish after that, but she wasn't entirely sure.
So though Lys loved her mother, she didn't exactly wish for that name.
She shook her head and continued reading, skimming over the facts such as height, age, and all that. Mixed heritage,- no shit- bilingual, Hispanic though for the most part appears as a tanned Caucasian- wow, whoever wrote this report must have been Sherlock on crack.
Her eyes skipped to the bottom, where it gave her history of rankings within NASA.
Reached the top of her fighter class, as well as a certified and highly skilled spacecraft pilot and astronaut. Offered and rejected position of Captain twice.
Now that, was very much true. The first time they asked her to accept the title of Captain, most likely due to her excelling at a young age of just twenty and skill level, she had let them down as nicely as she could. If she remembers correctly, she said something along the lines of, "I'd have to deal with meetings and some political shit, and I'm too young for that."
The second time they asked, just a few months ago actually, she had been her current age of twenty-one. This offer she remembered as clearly as she remembered how she responded. "Look, I'm too free-spirited for that. I don't want to have to be cautious or take on any responsibilities when it comes to doing what I love. The title of Captain would take the thrill of adventure away from me, okay? So don't ask again until I'm thirty, dipshit."
It hadn't been fun, but the refusal was worth it.
Lys continued reading. Emergency contacts; brothers: Marco Sanchez, 29. Leo Sanchez, 25. Eliás Sanchez, 23.
Yes, all three of her older asshole brothers. As emergency contacts. If she knew them as well as she thought she did, then Leo would answer the phone and laugh at the paramedics, followed by an equally humorous Eli. Then Marco would find out, and they would both get smacked on the head as he made them go check on her.
The thought was nice.
Lys flipped the page, lips breaking into a smile as she read the more personalized notes she had written on herself.
Notes, it read, and personalized additions on Alyssa Sanchez:
On those lines, Lys had written a few short phrases to describe herself.
I, Lys Sanchez, am a badass motherfucker. Finger guns, bad puns, and improv pickup lines. Fuck ya chicken strips, cue dramatic screaming.
Beneath that, she had written some of her ideal quotes. She was quite proud of them, if she didn't say so herself.
Are you an alien? 'Cause your ass is our of this world! She really wondered why NASA hadn't kicked her out yet. Maybe because she was so good at what she did. Maybe not. You never know.
The second quote was probably close to one of the best things Lys had ever said, ever. Which really was quite a feat. If I had enough money, it read, I would totally invest in a sign big enough to see from Haumea. It'd read, "fuck me daddy," and confuse the living shit out of aliens.
Fuck, was she proud of that idea.
I mean, it was so good. Nathan was her number one supporter, and she'd given in and agreed to sharing 3.2% of the credits with him.
Maybe she ought to explain her and Nathan's backstory. Summed up, her and Nathan Stone were best friends and partners in crime. Well, Lys was the crime and he was the partner, though he was surprisingly great at causing distractions for her. Like, for example, once she wanted to make something blow up, so Nathan stood there in the middle of the fucking control room for her. He quizzed every single one of the security guards about random shit he just had stored in his brain because he was weirdly smart like that. He had so many unneeded facts just floating around in his brain, and it to this day left Lys shocked at how he even remembered any of that.
Needless to say, something blew up.
But if you want the full story, then they met each other at NASA.
Even before Lys applied and was accepted into NASA's flight program, she hung around the hangars with her brother Leo. Leo was one of the engineers, so she just playfully tagged along.
The year she turned sixteen and applied for the space exploration flight program, Lys met Nate. Well, she decked Nate. She accidentally decked Nate. What happened was, someone threw a French fry at her orange juice and she mistook that person for Nate. So she tackled him and started screaming.
Eventually they became friends, though, so she didn't even have to feel bad about it.
After warming up to Lys's exotically mischievous personality, they really did become the best of friends. They balanced each other really well, and had way more in common than one would originally think by just viewing them from the outside. Together they had run people in circles with sadistic sarcasm, and Nate had saved her life one too many times, always telling her to ditch her stupid ass ideas involving explosion pranks.
When they both were allowed into their chosen profession at NASA, Lys visited him in his office often. Same with him to her. Having a best friend at your work had its perks, and she thoroughly enjoyed it.
She also enjoyed their Netflix and chill sleepovers, which were nothing more than her crying at the horror movies Nate chose. They actually had this pact, you see.
It went off of the pickup line, "you're like my homework- I'll do you all night!" except they just weren't fit for a couple. Best friends, yes, but they just didn't date. No. So to confirm that, they started going around shooting each other finger guns and singing, "you're like my homework- I'll never do you!"
It was quite inventive, in Lys's opinion.
However, the messing around at work stopped when NASA started swarming Lys and trying to get her up with the leaders. When she rejected them time after time, Nathan got a promotion in his job.
NASA moved him to the moon half the time, and even if she still got to see him when he visited her, it just wasn't the same.
Depressing, yes. But distance honestly couldn't sever a relationship like theirs, so I wasn't as bad at it seemed.
Actually, she sent him a "welcome back to earth" present earlier today. Though Lys could only hope he'd get it in time of her arrival, she had no doubt he would wear it once he did. Even if they didn't have the exact same twisted sense of humor, it was close enough for Lys to get him what quite frankly was the best shirt ever.
It was a dark navy blue, and had the word NASA printed vertically. Linking off of each letter for NASA was the message "Nerds Always Suck Ass."
She loved it.
Of course it wasn't nearly as good as the hoodie she almost never took off, the one with the NASA symbol in the middle, but the word 'ANAL' adorning it instead. Yeah, that was great.
The only thing about Nate that bothered Lys was his shoes.
You might think, oh, let him wear whatever tennis shoes he wants. But no. No, they're not tennis shoes. They're these nerdy-ass dress shoes that can't possibly be comfortable, yet he insisted on wearing them. And Lys would admit, they didn't feel nearly as uncomfortable as they would seem, but they just looked so... not Lys's style. Definitely not her style.
Lys's style was those light up high tops that flash when you stomp your feet. One of them flashing red, the other flashing blue. Yeah, she never took those off.
They really didn't agree on shoes.
However, as long as he danced to grease with her, she was willing to look past their differences. (In other words, she was never getting over the shoes, that dance-hating asshole bitch.)
A swoosh and dimming of the sunset brought Lys back to her senses. She softly closed her files- the rest of the pages were mostly her medical records anyway- and stood up.
The transporting was starting. It took no longer than ten seconds, but when it dimmed the vibrant colors of life around you the process felt a lot longer. It was always unnerving to her, regardless to it being completely safe.
One of Lys's only irrational fears was being left behind. So when the molecules in your body are being snapped into another location at the speed of light, she couldn't help but wonder if someone would notice if she didn't come back.
So to ease herself, Lys closed her eyes for a brief second. When they opened back up again, the scenery was once again bright, just different from the empty bench outside in the sunset back at NASA.
The TeleTrans had, as usual, brought her straight to the desired area. It was true she would be required to walk around a mile back to the apartment her brothers were renting, but the TeleTrans had moved her from a desolate NASA complex in the middle of Texas nowhere, all the way straight into the center of the city.
When Lys first tagged along with Leo to Texas, they had stayed in what used to be the great city of Dallas. During the War of 3111, it had been evacuated and since then served as a place of shelter to thou whomst are broke as shit.
When NASA started providing e-coins to the desperate teenagers, they earned the liberty of moving to the neighboring city. The new and updated city of Eriholt, though honestly, it was a ripoff of the excessively dated Los Angeles. When Lys first bought rent there, her first thought was that damn. It was so clean.
I mean, of course cities are going to be disgusting to some public extent, but before NASA she was living in free, run down apartments and eating dinner on the streets. So with no diseases, a shower every night, and fluorescent neon streetlights every step of the way, life seemed great.
Of course, now that she was older and had an independent earn of money, her and Leo didn't live together anymore. However, back then they had taken what they had and learned to call it home, just like the sappy dramatically excessive bitches they were.
Street living was one thing, but post-broke life in Texas was great.
When she was younger, Lys and her brothers all lived in a reasonably modest house near a cliff in California. Which, looking back at it, Lys deemed the worst decision anyone ever made, ever. With the family she had, it was a wonder how no one had fallen off and died.
The living space was cramped enough for a family of five (she never had a dad, fun), but she loved how close it made them. Lys had a hunch she wasn't the only one, either.
Back to the point, Texas was definitely an upgrade.
So as Lys stood outside of the small adjoined house Marco had rented out so they could all visit, nostalgia slammed into her just like the guy a few minutes back. Though she was happy with her life, she had missed coming home to her brother's mess. She missed being around her family, and just this. She saw Leo often, but with Eli going off into his pro-soccer leagues and Marco busy with voice acting, she rarely saw them anymore.
And she missed her family.
That fact was probably what prompted Lys foreword, out of the fiery sun, and into the house. Almost immediately after her first step in there, however, she majorly regretted that decision.
Why couldn't she have just gazed fondly at the glistening house for another twenty minutes? Why couldn't Lys have just walked past the house, and into a ditch or something?
It certainly would have been easier than the 5'5 twenty-three year old piece of shit that launched himself into the air screeching, "LYSSIE!" and efficiently tackling her to the ground.
If she wasn't being held captive against her will on the floor, Lys would have fucking decked him.
The previous feelings of love had all vanished. Gone. She didn't ask for a brother.
"You motherfucker, get off of me!" She choked, the breath still partially knocked out of her poor, unsuspecting lungs.
"'Course." Eli, the sibling with the smallest age gap to her, rolled off of her and extended a hand. His blue eyes shone. "I'm not sorry, but here."
"You ass." Lys grumbled, letting him help her up off the ground. Once she was up, Lys had to look at him twice. Definitely something different with him. She squinted her eyes at her brother. "What the fuck happened to your hair?"
Eli just shrugged, his mainly caucasian cheeks flushed. Out of the family, he was the palest, followed by Lys. Leo and Marco got the darker tanned Hispanic genes, but Lys wasn't complaining. She could at least hold a decent tan.
Eli's hair, which was usually a dark, silky brown, was streaked with red and a lighter brown. Though still mostly based on his natural darker color, the highlights and dye were obvious. "Thought it was kinda badass, so I tried it out. Then, after about a week of me strutting around thinking I'm cool, someone comes up to me and asks if I know that I'm the cutest thing in the universe. That purpose defeated, I guess I just have partially colored hair now."
Lys stuck her lower lip out, pouting. "Hey, it totally looks badass."
Eli snickered. "Maybe about as badass as Barney luring kids into singing a 'get along' song with him, sure."
"In that case, you're good then." Lys shuddered. "That shit is creepy."
She frowned again, remembering all the VeggieTale-provoked nightmares she and her brothers collectively had as children. She usually ended up crying with Eli as Leo screamed at the top of his lungs. Lys didn't exactly enjoy that part of her childhood.
"Why'd you tackle me?" she asked, instead of dwelling more on the completely unwanted talking tomatoes.
"Don't tell me you wouldn't have done the same." he accused. "I haven't seen you in a while!"
"That's fair." Lys smiled, tensing. "But I mean, I haven't seen you in a while, either." Then she jumped, the two inches Eli had on her doing nothing to prevent her from clinging to his upper back and almost suffocating him.
"Hell, Lyssie. I didn't mean now-"
His whine was interrupted by another, louder scream. This one came from Leo and Marco alike, the former's in fear and the latter's in anger.
Leo was pinned on the ground, clutching desperately to his video game controls, while Marco softly beat him up. Being the oldest of the bunch, Marco took on the liberty of acting as the more disciplined one. Which probably explained the scene before her, where Leo was being yelled at in Spanish for one thing or another.
Lys climbed down from Eli's back, giving him one more "okay-so-maybe-I-missed-you" nudge in the shoulder, before clearing her throat to make her presence known.
Marco's head snapped up, while Leo just kept on swatting at his arms in attempt for freedom.
"Lys," he smiled casually, sitting on Leo's stomach. "Welcome back. I rented a house."
She quirked an eyebrow. "Or so I noticed, if me standing in it had any indication. What are, um..." Lys nodded at the mess in front of her. "What are you doing."
Leo laughed from under his older brother. "He's doing me-"
Marco kicked him again. "Leo, here," he shot him a pointed glare, "decided it would be funny to almost get arrested, and then not tell me until I found out for myself."
"Marco." Lys pinched the bridge of her nose. "That was like five months ago."
"You knew about it too?" exclaimed Marco, picking up the dropped spatula.
"Of course I knew about it!" Lys shouted back, throwing her hands in the air. "It was my idea!"
"Marc, I can't breathe-"
"You can bet your sorry ass you can't breathe! Now Leo, tell me what you did and I'll let you go." said Marco. When he was met with no response other than whines and curses, he turned on Lys. "Lys."
"Good fuck, Marco, if you must know, I had him dress in lingerie all day at work and walk about screeching-" Again, her words were cut short with Leo's gurgling screech as Marco slapped him upside the head with a spatula.
"¡Caminaste todo el día en lencería! Leo, maldito idiota. Mira, esta es la mierda que pasa cuando los dejo solos-"
Eli and her exchanged looks, silently contemplating the purpose families served in life.
"So," Lys shouted over her brothers. "I've missed you all very much."
"Tu pequeña mierda-"
"Except for you Leo, I see you every other day."
"Es divertido y todo, pero no puedo admitirlo, así que-"
"But I'm stopping by for a few minutes-"
"Hijo de puta, hijo de puta, hijo de puta."
"Because I'm going to visit my compañero tonight as well, but I'll be back later-"
Marco looked up, pausing from his fight with Leo. "You're going out soon?"
"Yeah?" Lys tilted her head.
"Have you eaten?" Marco asked.
"No, today I had my examination. I wasn't allowed to cons..." her words faltered when Marco abandoned Leo on the ground and stalked back into the kitchen. "Marco?"
Eli's figure slumped. "Fifty bucks he's making you dinner. He refused to make me any."
Lys winked at him. "I'm everyone's favorite, hermano."
Leo painfully removed himself from the ground. "Doubtful. I'm obviously," he winced. "Marc's favorite."
Eli threw his head back and laughed. "Oh, I'm sure you are."
"Who told him about the lingerie?" questioned Lys, moving to sit down on the couch. Eli followed suit.
"Dunno." Leo shrugged, clicking his video game back online. "Probably the police. I wouldn't put it past our hermano to stroll casually over to the stations, and demand every single offense held against us in recent memory." He mimicked the high, gay voice of the officer. "Well, Mr. Leo Sanchez has been involved with numerous explosions and payment fees, as well as almost getting arrested, and-"
Eli waved him off. "Yeah, yeah. Though Leo, tell me how the lingerie went. And why don't you have a girlfriend yet? Or is everyone at NASA a nerd- ow!" He yelped as Lys promptly elbowed him in the side. "Si, you're a nerd, Lyssie."
"What!" She threw herself on him and slapped at his chest, which was shaking with laughter. "Take that back!"
Leo, who had returned to being immersed in his game again, shrieked at the holograms trying to kill him. "THAT FUCKER." He kicked them in the head, knocking I'maThot4001 to the ground long enough to kill them. Leo smirked at the game. "I'm a fucking gOD."
"No you're not." said Eli, dumping Lys off of him with a thump. "I could totally beat you."
Lys, already seeing where this was headed, decided to give herself a much needed tour of the rental house. It was small, no doubt, but a perk of Eriholt was the scenery. You'd have to be a city person to truly love it, and Lys had no problem complying to that trait.
The house, on a busy street amongst other apartment buildings and even some restaurants, couldn't have been too cheap. It was beautiful. The large windows were a plus, as Lys had never been one for artificial lighting. The neon lights of the city, which with the day reaching near-dusk had already come on, cast colorful shadows around the room.
The aesthetic was great, along with the rest of the house. Small, but very homey. She liked it. (Though nothing less for her more than decently making voice actor brother, right.)
It was true that Marco, with the type of job he had, earned pretty good money. However, it showed less due to him providing for both him and Eli. Eli's income from soccer legally went straight to the overdue medical bills.
As mentioned before, Eli had an inherited cancer at a younger age- fifteen, maybe. With still no cure in sight, their family had been scared for him during the whole ordeal. Lys, who was probably the closest to him on many levels, laughed with him through chemo and all his treatments.
Unfortunately, their single mother trying to boost her four destructive children into the world couldn't produce nearly enough for the treatments needed. So that's where Eli's money went.
Paying it off, slowly. Penny by penny.
In the meantime, Marco had offered to help with money for the two of them. He bought the groceries, took rent, and more. Well, he payed for the groceries. Lys was pretty sure that Eli did the actual shopping, if the pomegranate scented shampoo had anything to say about it.
Then again, she was also 70% sure Eli would've turned out gay, a prediction that had yet to this day failed to come true. Dammit.
After glancing at the hastily dumped bags in the upstairs loft, Lys headed back downstairs. Eli and her would most likely end up sharing a room like they did when they were younger, Marco getting his own and Leo stubbornly sleeping on the couch.
When she reentered the living room, Eli was slumped dead across the couch while Leo did the Macarena in victory. What a nice, fully functioning family she had.
Joining Eli near the couch, she sat herself on the floor and kissed her brother on the cheek. "You lost?"
He nodded into the pillows.
Lys laughed. "Hermano, Leo will always beat you at video games."
Leo sat down as well. "Always." Lys nodded happily.
Marco chose that moment to enter the room, just as Leo whooped and yelled, "Suck it!" Under the former's glare, Leo faltered. "Um, suck... the..." he closed his eyes. "Table."
Lys cackled. "The table? You're so bad at this-"
"Just don't bother," sighed Marco, handing Lys a plate.
Looking down at her meal, Lys saw a plain cheese quesadilla cut in fourths. "Marco I ate this shit when I was five."
Unfazed, Leo reaches over and took a slice. "Are you saying you finally turned six, little sister?"
"Fuck you, Leo."
"Leo," Marco groaned. "Give her back the quesadilla." Leo complied, but only after licking the slice.
"You are my dad." Lys mumbled.
Leo smirked, "You're my dad!"
"Woogie woogie woogie." Eli's finish was muffled by the pillows.
Marco threw his hands up, exasperated. "Oh my holy fucking shit-"
"Hey, Marco," Leo interrupted. "You forgot Lyssie's sippy apple juice."
Lys looked up at Marco, eyes wide. "I can't believe you forgot my appley juice." she whispered.
Running a hand down his face, Marco got up and returned to the kitchen.
"AND THAT'S IN A KIDDIE NO-SPILL CUP, MIND YOU." Leo shouter after him. Eli laughed into the pillow he was still planking on. Lys began wondering if this wasn't just his bruised ego, but his punishment as loser. Huh.
Taking another bite of the previously licked quesadilla, Lys elbowed Leo. "Hey," she started.
He hummed in acknowledgement.
"I need to borrow that lingerie I bought you last year."
Leo turned towards her, confused. "It's in my apartment, you know the code. Why?" He raised an eyebrow. "Alyssa Sanchez, what are you planning?"
She only smirked, taking a sip of her apple juice. "Nothing of your concern, hermano."
____________________
Lys knew she was evil. So fucking evil.
So as she left Leo's apartment, lingerie and thong on underneath her sweatshirt and ripped jeans, she just smiled. Big and wide, no regrets.
The sun was fully hidden under the horizon by that point, the sky darkened. She had stayed with her brothers for an hour, eating and catching up with them, before she quickly headed out again. As she told Leo earlier, she stopped by his apartment to grab the undergarments.
What she didn't tell her brother, however, was her malicious intentions regarding them.
As Lys jogged the brightened night streets, she thought ahead to her plan. Nathan, as mentioned, had just returned from the moon again, and Lys was plotting a welcome back prank. They had been close friends for a while, and had seen each other to the extent that close siblings would. So really, the inappropriate level of this wouldn't exactly be the issue. Because yes, it was that type of prank.
The issue, if any, would be running back to NASA and getting set up in Nathan's apartment before he finished up in the food hall. According to Tamayä, who had confusedly been feeding Lys information about Nate's whereabouts, he was absent from his office. But not for long.
Hence the reason she was once more sprinting to catch a TeleT back to NASA.
After a few minutes of running, Lys sat down on the bench with a thud. For the first time in maybe two years, Lys had actually caught a departure. Fuck yeah.
Her bracelet vibrated, humming until Lys swiped the message up. The holographic face of Tamayä appeared, visibly worried. "Okay, Lys, so I have a pretty good idea of what's going on, but where are you? He's taking a piss right now, but hurry the fuck up!" Lys really didn't need to know that her best friend was taking a piss, but what could she do. That was Tamayä for you.
"I'm getting there," panted Lys, probably more winded than she should be. Nothing else to blame for that other than her out-of-shape-ass. "But h-hey! Good news."
Tamayä raised an eyebrow.
"I caught a TeleT!"
"Oh," Tamayä sighed loudly, sarcastically looking skyward. "Isn't that just great! Fantastic! Now get the hell over here or this will be ruined." She swiped down in her side with a pout.
Lys ran her fingers through her loose ponytail, thinking. What's the best pose one could strike, seeming funny but sexy-in-a-nonseductive-way? She laughed to herself, thankfully once again alone at the stop. Imagine what NASA would think.
'Yes, we hired a very young pilot and gave her access to many systems. She's flown more expeditions in space than almost anyone else, and she's one of the smartest of her applicants. Our youngest high ranking astronaut. She... she's about to go lay on someone's desk in lingerie. To be... funny.'
Oh, yes, NASA would have a field day with that.
Realizing the vibrant colors of the city around her were fading in the familiar fashion, Lys briefly closed her eyes. When they opened back up, she was standing right outside the NASA bunker, Tamayä strolling towards her. The teleportation systems opened up to a more specific placement route during the night, as less people used them.
"Alyssa! Oh, thank fuck."
Lys grinned. "You think I'd miss this? This great, amazing opportunity of a prank?" she tsked. "You thought wrong."
Tamayä shook her head. "Well, of course you would never miss this on purpose. I'm just saying, you're far from the best when it comes to being on time, so you never know."
Lys feigned a gasp of betrayal. "Wrong! I was early to work last week!"
"Lys, you were there the last minute in which you're not considered late!" Tamayä exclaimed. "That's not early!"
Lys only shrugged. "Okay, maybe. But more of this later, I gotta go slip into Nate's office before he arrives." She attempted to slide past Tamayä.
"Oh, no you don't." said Tamayä, sticking her leg out. "I've been feeding you information this entire time! So what, exactly, are you planning on doing?"
Lys only smiled wider. "Lingerie is all I'm saying."
Tamayä's eyes widened. "You're amazing. I love you." She laughed. "It'll be mortifying, sure, but damn. That's worth it."
"Bold of you to assume I have any shame." Lys winked.
Tamayä's eyes were sparkling. "You bitch."
"Yes, I know that. Se you later." This time she succeeded in slipping around Tamayä, and started making her way towards the higher office levels. This was going to be amazing. She might lose a few friends along the way, true, but since when does Lys think ahead for the future.
"You live in the moment, you die in the moment." She mumbled to herself, sliding her card and thumb against Nate's doorpad. Once inside, she shut the door behind her and made her way to his desk.
He needed to clean his shit up, really. How does he expect girls to lay across the desk in nothing but lingerie if there's papers everywhere? They just can't!
But then again, this was Lys, and nothing stopped her. Not having any time to save the organized papers, she stripped her top and just laid on top of them. Hand behind her head and leg bent, she struck her first pose.
"No," she frowned. "No."
She tried another one. This pose her and Eli used to do together back when they were kids. It worked better with two people, but Lys was perfectly capable of doing it herself. She laid back down on her back and set her arms around her head as if she was sleeping, and propped her leg straight up into the air.
Perfect?
Lys would have liked to say the line, 'all she had to do now was wait,' or at least taken a moment to breathe, but since when did she ever get what she wanted? The doorknob jiggled, the low beep indicating that it was unlocked.
Holding her pose tight, Lys could only pray from the bottom of her heart that a maintenance person did not enter.
After what seemed like ten fucking painful years, the door finally slid open, revealing a very, very confused Nathan Stone. All parts of him slowly took the scene in front of him in. From his olive skin to his sandy hair, Nate froze completely. Lys didn't dare move.
And then he slumped, sending the very clear message of 'Lys, I am so fucking done with your shit.'
What are friends for?
____________________
I am so incredibly sorry
Word count: 9,924. Wow, almost 10k.
Alongside the crap you just read, send lots and lots of love to @percabethpiano, simply because she's great.
___________________
TRANSLATIONS FOR ALL THOSE UNABLE TO READ SPANISH.
I halfway know Spanish, so I apologize for any mistakes.
"Compañero's": partner's
"Estoy tarde otra vez, mierda. Uh, adios Tamayä. Te veo luego, thot": I'm late again, shit. Uh, bye Tamayä. See you later, thot.
"Mamá, no era yo, tè lo juro": Mama, it wasn't me, I swear.
"Hermano"- brother
"¡Caminaste todo el día en lencería! Leo, maldito idiota. Mira, esta es la mierda que pasa cuando los dejo solos-": You walked around all day in lingerie! Leo, you fucking idiot. Look, this is the shit that happens when I leave you alone-
"Tu pequeña mierda": you little shit
"Es divertido y todo, pero no puedo admitirlo, así que-": It's fun and everything, but I can't admit it, so-
"Hijo de puta": motherfucker