[ 2.11. EMILI KOM SKAIKRU ]
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I WAS TIRED.
That was the thought I held onto, in fear I might go insane if I didn't focus. Or, maybe, I already had. I mean, if you asked me what happened in the past few hours, I'd look at you and laugh. Do you know why?
Because I had no fucking clue.
I had absolutely no clue what's been happening for the past couple of days. I almost died in the fog, then I was on the verge of basically losing my sight, then I got scared of Lincoln and then Octavia returned with a grounder. Who even is he?
My head hurt from both; the confusion brought by too many things happening at once, and the expression my face held as I stared up at the sky with my jaw clenched and brows furrowed. The sunlight was burning my eyes, too, which only added to the headache, but I had no intention of moving. I'd rather just lay still and relax while I can, before Clarke and Finn git back. Though I doubted I'd get to the relaxing part.
I remained still, my arms limp by my sides as a long, heavy sigh escaped past my lips. I didn't move at all even when I heard footsteps, the ground crunching beneath the feet of whoever it was approaching me. Soon enough, the familiar frame of Bellamy was standing beside me, while my eyes stayed on a single point further along, where trees ended and several birds towered over, wings flapping cheerfully.
With a sigh, Bellamy lowered himself to the ground and sat by my side. A second went by as he looked at me. Then, he laid down in the same position I was in. Only then I took my eyes off of the blurred birds and eyed the man beside me.
As my attention went back to the previous scenery, Bellamy shuffled around, getting comfortable, before he spoke.
"Em?" I merely hummed in response, "How are you?"
I thought about it for a second, biting my lip, before settling on an answer, "Eh, 'm fine."
It went silent as my eyes trailed after the three birds, circling one another and chirping loudly. It almost made me feel envious, really, as I watched the small animals fly freely, like there was no trouble at all and they could celebrate it as loudly and obnoxiously as possible, with occasional shrieks over the usual melodies. The song was almost enough to help me feel at peace for atleast a second, for a couple of moments where I could breathe freely and feel no pressure, for a single minute of happiness and content..
But could a couple of birds really ensure my safety with a single action, a distant caress of glee while everything else around me was brought to ruins by the fires of war and anger which seemed to follow us all?
Yet there still was something that could make me feel at ease. Something to give me a sliver of hope I can hold onto, quite literally.
So, swallowing my nerves, I slowly moved my hand to hold Bellamy's. It was a simple action, really, though it still was being lead by seas of a certain nervousness, a certain feeling that just pushed my hand to move from its place right by my side, until I flinched when it just barely caressed Bellamy's skin, making me swiftly withdraw my hand from the side of his.
With the corner of my eye, I saw him glance at me, a blank mask on his face. My eyes were still trained on the set of birds.
Breathing out a sigh through my nose, I moved my head back as well as I could without having to tilt it in an unhealthy angle, just enough to slightly lift up my chin in the air. I hoped I looked atleast somewhat convincing as I reached for the familiar touch once again, this time leaving my hand ghosting over Bellamy's, not retracting it.
Our fingers were just lightly brushing and my heart was pounding too hard for me to think straight and suddenly, I felt it.
I felt the way the heat wave from the skin of his hand curled around my own, momentarily washing away the fright of ruining this moment, the emotional exhaustion and a thousand other things at the same time-
My shoulders relaxed and the frown left my face. Bellamy had definitely noticed the way I managed to slump even while lying down, because when I turned my head to face him, the corners of his lips were turned upwards, eyes crinkling. I took my time to take in each crevice and curve of his face.
"Will you tell me what's going on with you?" He asked, smile suddenly dropping. I remained silent.
A couple of seconds went by, until he cleared his throat and began to move, sitting up slightly. I watched in confusion as he turned his body so he was facing me completely, before he was laying down once again. My hand, now empty, twitched by my side.
"Um, what are you doing?" I wondered aloud, propping my upper body up with my elbows right as he settled down, holding his head up with his hand.
"Taking your mind off of whatever's been bothering you today."
My mouth opened and closed several times, before I pursed my lips and let out a short, quiet hum of doubt.
-
I scoffed loudly, shaking my head, "I actually don't know anything about greek mythology. Only the Ambrosia part and a few Gods."
A grin stretched across Bell's face as he looked down at the ground, reminiscing the times before everything went south, while I thought back at the beginning of our blossoming friendship. It felt like we celebrated Unity Day ages ago, though in reality, it had only been a couple of weeks.
The man seemed to be thinking the same, judging by the lost expression on his face which had momentarily taken over, before he laughed through his nose, "You were so drunk in that moment."
"Oh no, no, no, I was so not drunk." I gasped, feigning offence. Bellamy tilted his head back up, raising his eyebrows.
"Yes, Emily, you were."
"I wasn't!" I argued, slapping his arm with my free hand (the other was still intertwined with Bellamy's), "You just thought I was! And you didn't even want to trust me with a gun."
With an annoyed huff, I leaned back into the backpack underneath my head, halting my previous movements; I had been gently swaying our hands up and down from the ground.
"So-" Bellamy restarted my action, only this time our hands stopped by his side as he tugged them closer to his chest, "-you're still milking that?"
"Yes." I let out a humourless laugh (only partly), "I am still milking that! Be happy I'm mad at this, and not the fact that you literally threatened to kill me once or twice."
As soon as I finished the sentence, Bellamy pursed his lips, tearing his eyes away from my face and to the dropship behind us, "Okay, first of all, I could never hurt you." I felt my heart leap at that statement. "I let it go pretty fast. And, who was the one pointing out my mistakes every chance they got?"
This time, it was him who was throwing accusatory glances, making me smile lopsidedly. His epxression seemed to soften. "In my defence, I had a lot to point out."
A smile grew on his lips once again as he shook his head, looking down at our hands. Once he paused, I felt my own lips easing into a straight line, the reality I was forced to call our own finally hitting me. It was lovely, really - to forget the heaviness of actually and the way it constantly weighed us down. I had also lost track of time, too, to be honest. I had no idea how long we had been talking, but it definitely helped me take my mind off of things.
Well, almost.
Because even if I managed to forget all my troubles, there was still one big concern swimming in my mind and I was ready to accept it.
I undoubtedly had feelings for the man in front of me. And it scared me.
The way my heart fluttered each time he smiled at me, or how it felt when he held my hand in his own, even right in that moment when he was looking down at them, not letting go as he sat up. My eyes followed his frame and stayed on the side of his face as he himself flashed back into reality, scanning the woods with a solemn look on his face.
"We've been laying like this, holding hands for about an hour now."
I snapped out of my trance, shaking my head, "Huh?" When I looked up again, Bellamy's eyes were fixated back on me, and with a sigh, he took ahold of my other hand, pulling me up from the ground. Filled with nerves, I let go of his hands as soon as I was up.
Then, Bellamy spoke up lowly, "Emily, we-"
"Should get back into the dropship. They will be here soon." I interrupted quickly, twirling around on my heels and beginning to march back to the ship, leaving Bellamy behind. I wrung my hands together, awkwardly stumbling through the curtains.
Best way to escape unwanted interactions is to run away Emily style.
-
It had been another couple of hours of tense silence in the dropship. Octavia hadn't left Lincoln's side, the grounder, Nyko, was lingering around them, while Bellamy and I sat aside.
Well, I was sleeping. Atleast I tried to. Ignoring the hard surface underneath me, I was just laying on the floor in a starfish position, my eyes tracing imaginary shapes in the air. However, it didn't last long, because after my second and a half recreation of Mona Lisa, I sat up with a groan and retrieved my notebook, which I had found earlier.
Several pairs of eyes followed me as I flipped multiple torn pages and stopped on a clear one, starting to randomly doodle whatever came to my mind.
Atleast until the hatch opened and all of us were startled into snapping our heads towards the ladder, where two figures emerged from the floor below. As soon as Finn had helped pull Abby up, we all relaxed.
Octavia was the first one to speak, "Oh, thank God." She paused. "Where's Clarke?"
"Trying to stop a war." Replied Finn. Meanwhile, Abby was hesitantly approaching a restrained Lincoln, a mildly terrified look etching upon her face.
I pushed my book aside, standing up to assist the doctor. We reached Lincoln's side together, though only she kneeled down by his side, reaching out to part his eyelids.
"His pupils are unresponsive," Abby swiftly reached for her bag, then addressing Octavia, "Tie off his arm, as tight as you can."
As the younger girl did what she was told to do, I quickly eyed Finn, who had sent Nyko a look. When the former turned back around, our eyes met, making me tear mine away quickly, going back to Lincoln.
"Thanks to the supplies your brother found, Lincoln might have a chance." Abby informed, pulling out a glass vial and a needle.
"What's that?" Octavia wondered, eyeing the clear liquid.
"This will bring down his fever."
As soon as the needle touched Lincoln's skin, his body jolted upwards and started shaking violently. I jumped to press a hand on his chest and arm, attempting to restrain him as well as I could.
"Hold him down!" I called out, seeing how Octavia and I weren't able to get him to stay still. The chains on top of him rattled uncontrollably as Finn and Bellamy scrambled to help us, but shortly after they had grasped Lincoln, he abruptly stopped moving. He stayed still, his head hitting the floor with a dull thud. I sucked in a sharp breath.
"What's happening?" Octavia rushed out. Abby's fingers reached the man's pulse point. "Why isn't it working?"
A sick feeling developed in my stomach as I took in the unmoving body of Octavia's boyfriend, soundlessly sliding away from it.
"His heart stopped." Abby stated. My eyes helplessly stayed on the group as Nyko came closer, stopping by his friend.
The woman looked up at him, exclaiming, "You're their healer." She proceeded to throw out directions for him, though most of it went by me, as I dragged myself up from the ground.
I didn't think we could do anymore to save Lincoln.
So, without a word, I went to escape the room. There wasn't anything I could do, even with many years of experience and schooling with Abby on the Ark. Halfway across the room, I stopped, turning around.
My stomach churned as I rethought the decision of running away again, though when I turned around and exchanged a glance with Bellamy, who was partly holding his sister, we made a silent agreement. He nodded quickly, signaling that they would manage, and without a word, I climbed down the ladder. It was best that Octavia just had her family with her.
Entering the first floor, I stiffly reached for the water canteen I had left there earlier, unscrewing the lid almost absentmindedly as I started walking towards the curtains. With a quick flick of my hand, I had pushed them aside, walking out of the metal structure with shaking legs and a canteen attached to my lips.
The sight that welcomed me outside had me dropping the object immediately. There was a group of grounders, which were all pointing weapons at me, expect one woman, and Clarke was right beside them, blankly staring back at me.
She recovered faster than I did, though, as she called out to the grounders, "Don't! She's not a threat."
I stood with my hands slightly up in the air, heart beating hundreds of miles per minute. In that moment, I cursed myself for escaping the dropship.
My eyes trailed to the young woman next to Clarke, who gave the rest of the people a mere nod. They lowered their weapons.
Her face was covered in paint and her hair was delicately pulled back. Heavy armor decorated her frame and I was immediately getting flashbacks. Anya.
Both women had much in common; they raidated a threatening and authoritative aura and their hard stares were enough to make my mouth run dry from fear.
I tried my best not to show how I really felt as Clarke called my name, almost in a questioning manner. What followed after, though, made my shoulders slouch.
"So you're the one Thelonious and Marcus were talking about. The daughter that commanded the sky people along with Clarke. The one that needs her father alive-" The grounder woman took a small step forward, raising a hand when her people moved to come closer, "-Emili kom skaikru." She finished slowly, looking me up and down.
Clarke was watching us intently, along with the grounders and another woman that seemed to refuse to leave the speaker's side. Nervously, I swallowed and tried my best to maintain eye contact, "My father. He's alive?"
The leader (as I figured from the way the grounders listened to her) barely moved her head in an action I assumed to be a nod, confirming, "That I'm aware of." With her statement, relief instantly washed over me and my shoulders straightened the slightest. She turned her head to the side, addressing Clarke, "Lead me to Lincoln."
Clarke immediately unfroze, quickly walking towards me and grasping my hand as soon as she had reached my side. The blonde looked down at my hand, which was shaking in her hold.
"Clarke." I whispered. I didn't know how to form the sentence, I didn't know how to tell her that Lincoln's heart had stopped. My friend just sent me a sideways look, leading the grounders into the dropship and up the ladder. All the way back up to the upper floor, I stiffly stared straight ahead, until Clarke and I had been the first ones to make our way up and into the room our friends were. As soon as Clarke had opened the hatch, heavy sobs reached my ears and I immediately knew whose they were. My heart pounded against my chest wildly as I stepped into the room, walking aside to make way for the grounders.
In that moment, even Clarke looked horrified, as she and her mother engaged in a silent conversation with their eyes, her mother shaking her head. With the corner of my eye, I saw Lexa gaze at the lifeless body of Lincoln.
The air was so thick with tension you couldn't even slice through it with anything remotely sharp, though after the grounder woman's command, her people immediately sheathed their weapons, almost cutting away the silence.
And all it took was a nod, to have the other woman command, "Kill them all!"
I leaped over to the side where Bellamy was standing, rolling across the ground, attempting to reach for my abandoned rifle. Guns, swords and even electric batons were being pointed at each other as everyone settled into silence again, only heavy breaths sounding across the ship.
"Please," Clarke looked at their leader, "you don't have to do this." My fingers twitched to close the small distance between myself and my rifle, but I knew I was too late - one wrong move and we're all dead.
"You lied. And you're out of time." The woman hissed lowly, gripping her own blade.
Clarke's eyes were shining with fresh tears as she continued staring at the grounder in charge, until her mother swiftly threw herself around and hit Lincoln in the middle of his chest with the taser.
It all happened so quickly I couldn't even register what was happening, until Clarke, seeing the way Lincoln responded to the electricity, yelled, "Hit him again!"
And so, Abby did. I blinked in shock as Lincoln's body twitched up, coughing as everyone else stood still in the room, staring at the man who was just brought back to life. The grounders stood where they were, all of them shocked, while a smile began to stretch across her lips and Octavia crawled over to Lincoln.
Heaving out a sigh I had been holding in, I slipped my hand into Bellamy's.
They had done it.
-
ok im so sorry i havent updated almost a month, school has been so fücking busy and then im stressed over everything and then there are biy troubles and even now im not studying for 3 tests bc before that i have to update and do other homework ok ok im sorry
- ana (:
17.02.2019.