The sun was low in the sky when five cars pulled up in a line, one behind the other and out of each stepped a couple hand in hand. Each couple hid their eyes behind sunglasses and the grim set of their mouths indicated that this was not a joyous occasion but it was a necessary one. It was the one day of the year above all others when they remembered.
It was a strange day tucked in among the festivities of Christmas and the New Year celebrations. Was it a day to mourn a life lost or one to celebrate a life well lived? Sometimes it was a bit of both. Some years it was harder than others and tears fell more freely, other years the sound of laughter rang out freely across the expansive turf of the Good Shepherd Cemetery in Huntington Beach. No one knew before they arrived what each year's memorial would bring.
"You ready my little nest of vipers?" Zacky squeezed Kelly's hand and wrapped an arm around her. For him this year's reminder of his own mortality created a knot of anxiety in the pit of his stomach. He'd read far too many stories about the complications of pregnancy and childbirth to remain unmoved at this days evidence of the fragility of the human body.
Kelly rubbed her hand over her belly and felt comforted by the kick that was evidence of her baby's objection to the early start. "I'm good to go as is The Spawn here," she replied knowing that Zacky objected to her fond nickname for their unborn daughter.
It was evidence of Zacky's abstraction that he didn't mention the nickname and only asked, "Is she kicking?"
"Yeah, I think that she's training for the world cup," she winced at a particularly vigorous kick under her ribs.
Zacky rubbed his palm over Kelly's belly, "Come on baby girl. Let's go meet Uncle Jimmy."
They commenced a slow and purposeful walk across the turf.
Brian turned to Steph. "This is your second year for this Ace. How are you feeling?" It felt good to have the warmth of her body pressed against his side. He'd never imagined that he could have felt as happy with a woman as he had this past year with Steph. And now she was his wife. It felt good to have some happy news to share on such a sombre day.
"I don't think I can ever say I feel good about this but I'm happy to be here to support you as your wife just like you support me when I visit Ryan. I love you," she stood up on to tip toes to press a kiss to his lips. The almost imperceptible sound he made in the back of his throat whenever she kissed him never failed to make her stomach flip. Just like the way his calloused finger tips caressed her palm when he linked his hand with hers always made her want him. She was sure that Jimmy wouldn't mind that Brian had managed to ignite a tiny flame of lust in her.
"Let's go," Brian led her across the turf, "Zacky's already heading over."
"I'm cold," Johnny complained wrapping his jacket tightly around him.
"Baby it's not that bad," Lacey reasoned as she unravelled her scarf and wrapped it around his neck. Their long years together gave her the knowledge that it was useless to argue.
"We came from a tropical paradise to the depths of winter Lace, I think I'm pretty entitled to think it's bad. Come here and warm me up," he beckoned her closer.
"That was two weeks ago. Is this just an excuse to feel me up?" she worked to keep her face serious.
A smirk lifted the corner of his mouth. "Would I do something like that?" He clasped her fingertips and pulled her into his arms.
"Probably," she smiled as she nestled into his embrace.
"You're right as always, I totally would but today I just want to embrace the fact that all these years later it's still you and me babe. On this day, the anniversary of the worst day in my life, you're still here with me. So I want you close to me as we celebrate Jimmy's life because I think he'd be pleased that I haven't managed to fuck things up." He wrapped an arm around her waist and nuzzled her hair, he didn't care if it made him a pussy, she was his best friend.
"Let's go tell Jim that he's stuck with the pair of us." Lacey led him after their friends.
"I shouldn't have come," Brooks fretted as he pushed his sunglasses high up on to his nose. He hadn't known Jimmy and he felt like an interloper intruding on a private moment.
"Honey, they asked you came. It seemed pretty important to them that you be here. There's no need to feel awkward." Kelly rubbed a soothing hand up and down his arm.
"I guess so. I guess you and Johnny do have the story of your collaboration to share this year," he chuckled.
"Was it a success?"
"Top of the itunes charts." Wrapping an arm around her he squeezed her tight. Her gift of the Seas the Day had stunned him. In a good way. He'd been walking on a cloud of goodwill since then and miraculously the remainder of their vacation had been accident free and by the time they'd returned home his bruises had faded.
Pressing a kiss to her temple he said with aching sincerity, "Kell, I know I don't tell you often enough but you are it for me. There will never be another person that I feel for the way I feel for you. I love our boys but it's a different thing. I hope that I'm never making the trek out here because something has happened to you."
Kelly smiled up at him, her heart full. "You don't have to tell me, I know that. But let's not think about things we hope never happen because you never know what the future holds. Take Matt, he started this year in a very dark place but look at him now, newly married and blissfully happy in his second chance at love." God, she hoped that nothing ever happened to her but if it did she hoped that Brooks would met someone that loved him and their children the way Caitlin did Matt and his boys. She'd also better be an enthusiastic sailor.
Brooks shuddered at her side. "Your right I don't want to think about it. Let's go say hello to Jimmy before I lose my nerve."
The clasp of his hand was almost painfully tight as he led her to join his friends and band mates.
"Any news yet?" Matt asked Caitie earnestly. God he loved how she looked in the early morning. Her hair looked so dark yet whenever a shaft of early morning sun hit it the red gleamed. She looked equally magnificent at sunset when her hair lit up like fire. Fuck it, she looked magnificent at any hour of the day. She was his Sunshine and she brought light into even the greyest of days. Like the one they were facing. This cemetery held too many of his loved ones for him to ever be comfortable there. Jimmy, Ryan and Val. He hoped that they were all together and that they forgave him for finding happiness again with the woman beside him.
Caitie gave him an amused little laugh of disbelief. She knew exactly what he was asking when he asked her for news. "Matt, it's way too early yet. We've only just started trying. I hate to disappoint you but last time I was pregnant it took a few months before it took. I don't think that it will be much different this time. Don't be discouraged though, I'm sure it will happen. I just don't want you to be disappointed if it doesn't happen quickly." Matt had taken to the task of impregnating her with an enthusiasm rarely seen. He'd adjusted everything from his underwear to his diet to ensure that his swimmers were of the highest quality. He was definitely a typical Leo overachiever.
Matt didn't think he could love her more. She was worried about him being disappointed? His only concern was to give her the baby he knew she desperately wanted. With her sister two thirds of the way through her pregnancy he wanted their child to be born close behind Kelly and Zacky's baby. It hadn't escaped his notice that his Sunshine loved the idea of their children growing up close in age.
Wrapping a protective arm around her shoulders he pressed a hand to her belly and said, "Soon Sunshine. Soon there's going to be a baby in there and the boys and I are going to be ecstatic."
Caitie couldn't hide the vulnerability she felt when she asked, "Do you think they will? I mean I know they were happy when we got married but when we have a baby together it will show that you're truly creating a new life without their mother." They'd been at this very cemetery on Christmas Eve to pay their respects to Val although they'd avoided this side of the site knowing that they'd be returning in less than a week.
Matt's heart broke at her uncertainty. "Of course they will. They know that you're not trying to replace Val but if they can't have her there is no one, no one, that they'd rather have than you and they will love their little brother or sister with all their hearts."
Caitie curled into his side and made a sound of acceptance. Damn he hoped she was pregnant soon.
"Come on. Let's go tell Jimmy about our wedding and the obscenities you Aussies think are appropriate to sing at family gatherings. He'd love it."
Taking her hand he led her across the lawn.
The entire group stood not exactly dry eyed but not yet crying before the plaque they'd come to find.
Matt spoke up, "Okay Jimmy I know I say it every year but I'll say it again, Brian still won't throw himself screaming on to your grave but we're all holding out hope man. One of these years it's going to happen. I hope you and King are looking after Val and that she's not causing you guys too much trouble, I know she can be a handful. My other news this year is that I got married again man, I know it's quick but you out of everyone know that life is too short to fuck around. You'd love Caitie but not as much as I do. I fuckin' miss you man. " His voice broke on his final words and it had nothing to do with the vocal injury he'd suffered during the year.
"Jim, buddy. It's been an eventful one for me. Meaghan left me but I don't know if you had a hand in it or something because things worked out better than I could have ever imagined. Remember Kelly? You always said that I should just grow a pair and get together with her. Well I finally did and we're having a baby. A girl. Yeah, I know you're probably laughing your ass off at that. I'm thinking of buying a subscription to Guns and Ammo. Fuck I miss you," Zacky choked out his words in a strangled combination of laughing and crying.
"I married her man. I married King's sister. Tell him I know he wants to junk punch me but I'm gonna treat her like a queen. Fuck I wish you could have been there. Another wedding where you couldn't stand up beside me but this is a conversation we're never having again man because this is it for me. Steph is it for me. Fuck I miss you man. Why the fuck can't you be here to share these moments with us?" Brian turned to Steph and buried his face in her hair.
"So man, I have to let you know that Brian's still an asshole. He pranked me with Thor man, fucking Thor. Right in the moment when I went above and beyond for Lace. But don't worry man, I have some awesome shit in store for him. Fuck I wish you could see it." Johnny dashed away the tear that trailed down his cheek. His words drew a laugh from his friends and he was glad that the super emotionally charged atmosphere had lightened.
Brooks cleared his throat. "So Jimmy, I didn't really know you but I just want you to know I'm looking out for them man. I'll keep the beat and keep them steady and help them ensure that your musical legacy lives on." He found himself surrounded from all sides in a masculine embrace.
The watcher smiled. This was exactly what he wanted to see. The one's he loved living their lives and loving like there was no tomorrow. He missed them and he loved them but he was glad that they were so far away.
The End