June 22nd 1840
Verushka sat in her peach silk dressing gown watching the comings and goings of the ton from her chamber window overlooking Grosvenor Square. She had made the transition to her brother's home but Wyvernstone Manor still itched like freshly stitched woolen socks. It seemed that the Bexley House would always feel more like home. Jacob was always helpful and kind in the few moments that they had shared together, however his time was mostly occupied in distracting the Duchess of Wyvernstone from strangling his new ward while she slept.
Verushka pulled her thick blonde curls through an ornate silver handled brush and sighed. It had been two weeks. Two weeks of parties, and balls and opera and she was miserable. Cain was supposed to be courting her but all that he had achieved was to drive a wedge so far between them that warmth of the pantry seemed nothing more than a dull burn against her skin. Too much sunlight, too fast.
He arrived almost every morning when she received guests and stayed the appropriate amount of time and said the appropriate compliments when he brought the appropriate bunch of flowers. It had reached such a point of frustration that she had even attempted to corner him in the hallway but to no avail. Cain would not be moved and so their illicit liaisons, however benign book reading could be, were at an unfortunate end. Instead Verushka dedicated large portions of her time to study. The Queen and the Duchess of Bexley had a rigorous syllabus planned for her and the knowledge that Verushka had so long craved was now in ample supply. In between dress fittings and etiquette lessons (which she loathed), her nose seemed permanently buried in some book or another. And so, Verushka discovered that she could easily conceal the tears that splashed onto the pages before her.
It seemed silly to complain and so ungracious to voice her discontent. She was being given everything that she ever wanted and yet something in her felt so unsettled. The man who loved her wished to marry her, her mother's life's work was becoming her own and she was bestowed the Wyvernstone fortune which left her wanting for nothing. Providence had indeed smiled on her and yet all her ungrateful heart could do was linger on happier memories.
She has been ecstatic to tell her friends the news of her engagement. Pushing through the pantry doors in the middle of the night she had found them making tea and biscuits and everything was right with the world.
"Do I have a story for you girls!" Verushka panted from running clear down Pall Mall to the Bexley Home after her long deliberation at Buckingham Palace.
"Well, what do you think we are waiting for at this hour?" Liara shook a whisk in her direction.
"Spill," Mina ordered, placing three tankards of tea down with a thunk. "What happened with the Queen?"
"Oh, she was lovely, really nice and sassy too. You would have liked her Liara." Verushka slipped her fingers through the handle and drew a mug towards her.
"I always knew I possessed Queenly qualities," Liara preened.
Mina rolled her eyes. "So, what did she say?"
"Quite a lot. Edward Oxford refuses to give up any valuable information despite being questioned over and over. Now the Queen wants me to interrogate him."
"What?" Mina sent a spray of moist crumbs careening into Liara's hair.
"Mina!" Liara squawked.
"Sorry," Mina offered unapologetically. "But, come on. Ver how can they expect you to face such a man?"
"I don't know," Ver gnawed at her cheek. "It's worth a try though, right."
"I suppose so," Mina hesitated. "It's not like your games with the Bexley staff. This man is an assassin! Aren't you scared?"
"Terrified," Verushka acknowledged. "But becoming a lady and my brothers ward scared me too, and now look at me. Anyway, the Queen suspects Sir Robert Peel, the Opposition Leader because he stopped the Runners a few years ago and because of the Bedchamber Crisis. Did you hear about it?"
"Yeah," Liara nodded sipping her tea. "I thought it was something actually to do with the Queens Bedchamber and you know how I love a good intrigue, so I asked around at the time. Peel wanted his political friends' wives in the Queen's inner circle."
"How is it that she knows everything?" Mina scoffed on shortbread crumbs to which her friend shrugged.
"Anyway, Victoria feels like the government is about to topple and she plans to concede to Peel's demands and take on a Tory lady."
"Who is she going to take?" Liara leaned forward, elbows pressing into the remnants of biscuit batter.
"Well," Verushka hesitated. "The thing is that both the Bexley and Wyvernstone family have always been aligned with the Tory political party, despite being close friends with the Queen."
"Yes....," Mina prompted with baited breath.
"And I am the daughter or ward of one," Verushka continued.
"Yes...," Liara hovered over the syllable in anticipation.
"And now I'm going to be the wife of the other." Verushka couldn't help but smile. If beams of light could have shone from every pore she was sure that they would have.
"Ahhhhhhhh!!!!" Joint screaming reverberated off the walls of the pantry, bouncing from ceiling to stone floor and everything in between. Half eaten biscuits were left scattered around spilled tea and the maids leapt to embrace one another as if nothing mattered in that moment but their friendship and shared joy.
"Wait, wait," Mina eventually pulled away with a frown. "Does this mean we won't be able to see you again?"
"I shouldn't think so," Verushka cocked her head in contemplation. "I will still be living here."
"Bugger that!" Liara shook her friends arm with unrestrained glee. "How did Cain propose? Did he get down on one knee? Did he tell you he loves you?"
Verushka shook her head with a smile. Liara was such a romantic at heart. "It was all really sudden actually. I don't think either of us knew what was happening but I suppose that is what it is like when the Queen of England decrees your wedding. One minute I thought he was leaving the throne room to meet his betrothed and the next we were standing alone in a courtyard being offered our dreams on a royal platter."
Mina raised her eyebrows and decidedly popped the kettle on the stove once more. "Start from the beginning. Tell us everything."
The last few hours she had spent in the pantry of the only home she had ever truly known were the happiest memories she had recently. The following morning she was moved to the Wyvernstone house and time spent talking with Liara and Mina had suddenly ceased. She was instead plunged into a sea of people whom she barely knew. She was alone in a big house, beautifully furnished with only the company of a cruel Duchess and a fleeting brother who still believed himself to be her appointed guardian. A burst of laughter erupted awkwardly from her lips. Fate was a cruel jester sometimes.
A knock on the door startled her and she blinked away the remnants of her discontent.
"Come in," Verushka called out, tightening the sash on her robe.
"Forgive me for the interruption, Ver," Jay apologised. He had grown fond of his ward and despite himself had become accustomed to her presence in his home and her nickname. He halted in the doorway, stunned for a moment. Verushka sat with her usual perfect poise in a peach wrap as the afternoon sun lit her hair a golden hue and for a glimmer in time he was reminded of his mother. How she sat, how she smiled when he entered the room, how she tried so hard to be happy. He shook the memory from his mind uncertain and unwilling to acknowledge why it had flickered forth to begin with. Jay had sought Verushka out for a very important purpose but he had also known she was unhappy for a long time and he could not wait any longer to address the matter.
"What have you been up to?" Jay strode in to the sunbathed room closing the door behind him.
"Is this a social call?" Verushka arched a brow curiously.
"Well, I'm not about to ring for tea, if that is what you are worried about." Jay smirked and took a seat on a padded stool next to her dressing table. "After all, I know you have to get ready for your engagement this evening. Are you excited?"
"Am I ... excited?" Verushka frowned. "You are asking me if I am excited?"
"Ur... Yes," Jay hesitated. He had no experience talking to females in a fraternal or fatherly manner and the secret service manual on such matters were abysmal.
Verushka scrunched her nose with unease as if she smelled something fishy and it was coming from the direction of her sibling. "Why?"
"Because it is an important milestone in your life and I thought perhaps you would like to talk to someone, especially since you have no mother or sister to advise you." Jay shifted uncomfortable on his chair.
"Dear Lord, Jay! You are NOT trying to have the talk with me?!" Verushka reeled backwards, tilting precariously towards the floor.
"Yes. No. Wait, what talk?" Jay appeared perplexed.
"The Talk," Verushka winced.
"I can't say that I understand your meaning. I am trying to talk to you."
"Listen, Jay. I know that you feel responsible for me and that is lovely but trust me when I say that you don't need to do this. I... I mean Cain and I will manage quite well in the marital...bed." Verushka squeaked out the last word with both eyes squeezed shut.
"Ahh!" Jay bellowed and tripped over his stool and several garments scattered on the floor in his urgency to stand up.
"Awk!" Verushka leaned forward to halt his fall which only earned her a one way ticket to the floor.
"Verushka!" Jay roared as she fell upon his ensnarled legs.
"What?! I thought you were talking about-"
"Ahh! STOP!" Jay raised his palms to his ears. "I cannot be having this discussion with you."
"Well then what discussion were you trying to have?" Verushka poked him in his side.
"I was TRYING to find out the reason for your recent discontent." Jay plucked a stocking tangling his ankle and flung it at his ward.
"Well then next time I suggest that you start with that."
"Consider me duly notified." Jay raised himself up and offered her a hand.
"So what did you really want to ask me?" Verushka let him pull her off the ground and into a seat.
"Well, I believe that... the fact of the matter is, you see-," Jay hedged.
"Spit it out, Jacob, or else we will have another misunderstanding and both of us can attest that it was less than pleasant the first time around."
"Yes, you are right." Jay straightened the burnished grey lapels of his coat. "I know that you are unhappy, Verushka. What I can't ascertain is why?"
Verushka frowned as she picked up her brush to continue the unnecessary sweeping strokes of her coiffed hair. "Why would you think I am unhappy? I am no longer working in the kitchens, the Duchess of Bexley and you have been more than kind and the would-be assassin has been apprehended."
"And yet, you rarely smile anymore." Jay laid a gentle filial palm over her knee.
"Don't I?" Verushka attempted the ghost of a smile.
"You know that you don't." Jay confirmed solemnly. "Do you not wish to marry the Duke of Bexley?"
"No, it isn't that." Verushka's eyes snapped back to his face and she turned away to face the mirror once more.
"Cain visits you almost every day and I have seen the two of you dance at least once during each ball. Tell me, Verushka, has he behaved improperly to you? Has he hurt you in any way?" Jay's voice took on a hard edge that was brittle yet balanced. If a voice could carry the warning ring of steel when met with a hammer upon an anvil, it would have been her brothers.
Verushka sighed and put down her brush. How could she tell him that Cain had behaved impeccably over the last fortnight and yet it was the impropriety that she craved? The closeness that they used to have was buried somewhere under formality.
"No, Jay. Cain has been the perfect gentleman."
"But there is a problem, isn't there?" Jay's brows furrowed.
Verushka looked at his concerned expression and her insides wrung like a wet dishcloth. She did not wish to burden him but she had no one else. Before she had even exited Buckingham Palace all her possessions including her cat Shadow had been moved to the Wyvernstone house on Grosvenor Square. There was only the one fleeting opportunity to see her friends, and yet not even say goodbye and so in the subsequent weeks Jay had been her only true companion. Without even knowing it, he had opened up his home to her and between their shared breakfast banter and passing playful jests he began to treat her as a brother would a sister. It warmed Verushka's heart like nothing else could and now her only sibling was staring into the face of her despair and asking her to trust him with it.
"Yes, there is a problem." Verushka set her brush down and looked back at her brother in the glass reflection.
"Tell me the problem and I will tell you how we are going to fix it." Jay determined in all seriousness.
"It is not that easy, Jacob."
"You let me be the judge of that." Jay advised.
Verushka rolled her eyes.
"It is more a bruising of the heart. The closer society brings me to Cain, the further away he actually feels. Today is supposed to be the day that we announce our engagement but I have barely spoken two words of real feeling to him in the last two weeks. He feels like a completely different person. In public I am supposed to only discuss the weather and watercolours and frankly those two topics couldn't bore me any more than they already do. I don't know how members of the ton do it. I don't know how you do it?!" Verushka finished exasperated.
Jay shifted in his seat uncomfortably. "Technically, I don't. My life in the Queen's Service rather occupies a lot of my time and no debutant can match that fascination."
"Oh yes," Verushka hushed her lips with the tips of her fingers. "I'm so sorry that you and Mina never meet any more. Maybe if I just talk to her I co-."
"Actually, as I was saying, work often brings a measure of peace." Jay cut her offer off brusquely.
"Oh... ok." Verushka slumped back dejected.
"Listen Ver, I am sure that whatever is between you and Cain can be worked through. He is under a lot of strain politically and personally to entrench himself within the Tory party so that you can be instated convincingly as a Lady in Waiting to the Queen. I understand that you still have not told him that you plan to be the Secretary for the Secret Service."
"When would I have had the time?!" Verushka complained exasperated.
"For such things, we can always make the time." Jay remarked and pinned her with a knowing gaze that she could not escape.
"I do want to tell him... I do. I am just afraid of what he will say."
"The only way you will know the outcome of that fear, is if you face it, little one." Jay brushed her dimpled chin with his knuckles. "And speaking of fears, the reason I came up here was to tell you that we must leave, now."
"Now?" Verushka's brows scrunched in consternation. "I haven't finished getting ready and I thought that the Bexley ball was not until eight tonight. I have no less than three hours and at least one of those will be spent in the bath."
"We are not going to the ball Verushka." Jay's jaw clenched. "I am tasked with taking you to meet Edward Oxford."
"Now?!" Verushka repeated shocked.
"Verushka, I know that you command more of the use of the Queen's English than that one word, so why don't you ask me all the other questions you have once we are on our way."
"Jay, we both have to be at this ball tonight. I would still like to get married to your friend, not to mention that it is integral to Victoria's plan."
"Everything is part of Her Majesty's plan and this must be done tonight. They moved Oxford to Newgate PrIson one week ago and yesterday his cell mate was sentenced to be hanged. Oxford's trial is now scheduled for tomorrow making the next few hours of his solitary confinement crucial. He is finally alone, Verushka, and primed for your questioning." Jay stood and surveyed the room with its array of dresses spread over every surface and accoutrements littering the blanket like ants at a summer picnic.
"Leave everything as it is. Dress inconspicuously and exit via the secret panel in your wardrobe that I showed you when you first arrived. I will await you at the south side of the house."
Verushka nodded mutely as he left. It wasn't as if she knew this day would not come. She had in fact been preparing for it since the moment the notion left the mouth of her Queen. However it was quite a different matter to be called to task on the eve of her own engagement. And yet, it was just the diversion she needed to distract herself from the tangled ball of her feelings regarding her betrothed.
Resolved, Verushka leapt from her chair, swiftly knotting her long golden locks into a bun at the base of her neck. She raced to the chest at the foot of her bed and tossed its contents onto the floor beside it until she came to her old maid's uniform pressed and folded at the very base. Verushka ripped the Bexley insignia off the breast and cuffs before donning the dress and apron with a pair of sturdy boots. She took one long look at the chaos of the room she left behind with all its artifice and eagerly pushed back the long wooden panel in her armoire to enter the darkened tunnel to the streets exit.
***
Dear Agents,
I am back after a long hiatus. Think of me like Evita- I love you and I never really left you. This Universe has thrown me career problems, health issues, and man trouble but I'm still here!
It may take a while, but this story will reach its happy ending.
x Inara