Chapter track
Unwritten - Natasha Bedingfield
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Bianca
June 2011
I love the silent conversations with the wind, overwhelming me with its excitement as it plays along with my long tangled hair. I love it when I don't need to think for an explanation to provide the stranger passerby, the flora or the fauna as they don't expect one, even when I invade their privacy--my eyes all over them. Oh, how much I love staying quiet and feed my eyes with the moving scenario! How much I love traveling on trains!
Only if the upcoming scenario was something else--
As I stand by the entrance of the long blue vehicle, I try my hardest to muster up some courage and take a step. After all, it isn't going to be a simple journey that consists of a relaxing vacation with my loved ones, it's different, almost a new beginning.
After I finally hop in, I'm followed by Sia and Uncle Sanjeev, who are helping me with my luggage.
I slowly walk past the narrow path towards our cabin and sit down by the window to see my Mom and my eight-year-old brother Aviral who are standing by a bookstall at a distance.
There is a wide smile pasted on her lips but it isn't really comforting me, as her eyes are all red, puffy and brimmed with fresh tears. The sight is only making my heart sink deeper and every ounce of my being is dying to run towards her and just give up, but being a coward is the last thing I need right now. I have to be brave.
I don't want to show the signs of having cold feet either, so I blink away my tears and biting my lower lip I force a courageous smile. Although the window is providing a very limited view of the surrounding, my eyes are still searching through the hustle and bustle of the crowd to find my dad. He is the one who quietly drove us here to the station and suddenly decided to vanish into thin air. I'm sure that he's literally weeping somewhere, obviously not delighted to wave me off but all I want right now is to at least have a glimpse of him before I leave.
My parents. I wonder if everyone else's parent are as dramatic as they are or do I look just too sensitive to take lightly?
Being a teenager is easy for nobody, the sudden changes in you brings along all different challenges, like, everyday. For instance, a mere pimple is enough to drive you crazy. The smooth baby skin can turn into a rough patch in no time and the itchy pain just can't be described enough.
But in my case, I'm dealing with something else.
As they say--"too much of a good thing is a bad thing"--turned out to be exactly related to me. I've had everything a girl would ever want, or maybe even more. I've been provided with so much attention and protection that I turned into a complete introvert as the only person I hang around the most is either my family or just my loneliness. I don't know how to socialize, like, I can count the number of friends in one hand and there will still be a few fingers remaining. And that scares the hell out of me because as much as I enjoy my own company, I don't want to remain like this forever. I want to have some adventure and be prepared to face the world as an adult but I'm absolutely sure that as long as I'm around my parents, that's impossible.
Few things needed to be rearranged for a while, so be it, although I know that it isn't going to be as easy. So, taking a safer side, I chose to start my new story, in the place where everything started, the place where I was born and spent a few of my childhood years.
Both my parents are from Sikkim. They got married, had me and left for Kolkata when I was like seven, while my grandparents, Uncle and his family chose to stay back in Gangtok, at the old family house, my new home.
As the warning whistle ended, the engine starts to move, catching up the pace of my heartbeats.
I wave them off but continue to look back at the station until it's out of sight, trying my best to hide away my tears. Dad!
I take my phone out and tap the message icon-
19: 15 Me: Dad, I'm leaving, but it's not like I won't be back. So, I beg you, please don't make this harder and talk to me when you calm down, okay? I'm missing you already and you know how much I love you. Take care.
I send the message and shove the phone down my pocket, not expecting a reply anytime soon.
"Now this is going to take forever. I feel tired already." Sia groans.
My cousin Sia--a couple of months younger, so it worked both ways--an annoying sister and an awesome friend.
"Don't worry, we'll be there within a few hours. Besides, its fun travelling on a train sometimes." My uncle says, taking his eyes off the newspapers to wink at me.
"Dad, all night long in this train and five hours of drive in your car isn't fun, not-at-all. It's only exhausting." Sia keeps on whining.
"Sorry Sia, you're gonna have to deal with this. I was the one to request this route instead of taking a flight since I have aerophobia, so.." I say with a shrug.
"Oh," Her forehead wrinkles with confusion. "I never knew about that, I just thought you were just fond of trains."
"Well, that too," I admit with a grin.
"Anyway, I'll just take a long nap then. Goodnight, B."
"Goodnight, Sia."
"Hey, Bia," She speaks in a soft voice.
"Yeah?"
"I can't believe we're gonna be living together. You have no idea how much I always wanted that. It's gonna be so much fun." She's one of the loveliest people I've ever known. Her witty nature makes it almost impossible for anyone not to like her.
"I know, Sia. " I return the smile.
We're of the same height and our body structure are alike. We do have a very similar looking straight nose and curved lips, which we inherited from our paternal side but except that, she has some of the very distinct features. She looks a lot like her mom-- the lighter shades of brown in her eyes favored with long thick lashes and her hair was long silky straight and jet black, contrary to my wavy, chocolate brown hair.
Even though we have a few resemblances in our physical structures, we have the exact opposite personalities. She's confident, bubbly and headstrong, while I'm timid and the quiet one. But that has never kept us from having an amazing bond of understanding.
After she went back to take her 'long nap', I put on my headphones and sat near the window to enjoy the view of the night.
The inky sky is ornamented with the shimmering stars and full moon, although there are few shreds of clouds, its still bright enough to make some of the figures on earth vaguely visible.The moon following me, the small ponds and trees passing by, everything looks perfectly beautiful when left untouched by the mortals who are resting in the harmonious glory of the night.
Call me weird but I define myself as a very good sightseer and I never get tired of appreciating the divine creativity of God.
The nonstop vibrations and noise created by the train is simply unavoidable but the stillness of the nature that I'm looking at is doing it's best to keep my mind at ease. It feels peaceful.
Somewhere between relishing my moment of glory, I doze off to sleep, not caring to draw the curtains.
.
.
I open my eyes and the cabin is vaguely visible by the faint light of the breaking dawn. I probably feel cold because of the air conditioner, so I wrapped up the thin blanket tighter as I sit up cross-legged.
I continue to look out of the window and couldn't help but notice how quickly everything was changing. These places were different back then when I was a kid. I still remember the dense forests we had to pass by. I've seen them rapidly turn into fields, small villages and finally into developing areas.
Change, one of the most essential parts of nature. Whether in a good way or bad, it happens, no matter how much we deny.
"People from small towns come to big cities, for better opportunities, not vice versa," I recall my friend Pihu saying those exact words to me, but little does she knows how much I'm thriving and missing out on all the opportunities the big ol' city was providing.
"Good morning, Bia. " I get distracted by my Uncle, who stands by the cabin entrance with a cup of tea in his hand and a warm smile on his face.
"Good morning, Uncle."
"Did you sleep well?"
"Yes, I did."
"That's good, now freshen up and wake her up too. We'll reach anytime soon."
"Sure." I stand up and start nudging Sia, who laid above my berth.
After tidying up, we still had a few minutes to spare so we just talked about some random stuff before we reach our stop, the N.J.P station.
We had some breakfast in a nearby cafe and hit the road again in my Uncle's car, which was left in one of his friend's garage when they had to take a flight to Kolkata.
Sia's exhaustion eventually started to fade away as her dad turned out to be a perfect entertainer with his collections of songs and mind-blowing stories of his youth days. Therefore, all three of us ended up having a great time on the journey.
.
.
Seeing Gangtok town this time almost takes me by surprise because as much as it looks familiar, it's a bit too different than the last time we visited during the Christmas holidays, may be two years ago.
Construction, technologies, development, global warming and stuff--these things are happening everywhere--which always makes me wonder how long the earth is going to endure them.
Finally, as we reach our destination, everyone in the house come out almost immediately, notified by Uncle Sanjeev who continues to honk the car horn to an unnecessary extent.
Shortly after having lunch, we are all gathered by the living room and my phone buzzed.
"Hi honey, did you reach already?"
"Hi, Mom...yeah! I was about to call you too."
"It's hardly been a day but we miss you already." She lets out a long sigh. "It's gonna take a lot of time for us to settle down without you."
"I'm sorry, mum."
"Why are you being sorry, honey? I'm so proud of you for making that decision. Just make sure to keep yourself out of trouble and always listen to your conscience. "
"I will, mom. But what about dad? He hasn't even replied to my texts yet."
"You know how sensitive he can be when it comes to you."
"Well..." I tuck a lock of hair behind my ear and bite my lower lip, running out of words.
"Sweetie, there's nothing to worry about, okay? He only being too dramatic." I feel a pang of guilt. I knew how much they were gonna miss me, especially my dad and yet I took a chance. "We'll be fine, we will be happy if you are. Just be careful and take care of yourself, okay?"
"Okay, Mom."
"And how is everyone there?" And the conversation ends after the small talk.
.
.
Even with the seven of us, the house is just enormous and staying alone in a spare room makes me feel a bit lonely, so I prefer sharing a room with Sia, like I always did.
After finishing my nightly routine, I crawl into the most comfortable bed ever, at least that's how I've always felt. Afterall, the best thing about the hills is that you can always sleep with your blankets on, even during summers.
"Have you ever had a boyfriend?" Sia asks, gazing at the ceiling.
"Nope," I reply instantly.
"Why?"
"What do you mean by why?
"Aren't you old enough to date already?"
"Maybe, but flirting is the last thing I'd like to do. That's not my thing. "
"Than what's your thing?"
"Being a geek." I joke.
"Well, I won't completely disagree with that," She teases, "but didn't you come here for a change?"
"And you think having a boyfriend will help?"
"Of course. " She shrugs, as if it's the most obvious thing ever.
"Weirdo!"
"Well, I don't know about you but being a sixteen-year-old, I'm looking forward to going out with someone."
"I am sixteen, not you and what the hell happened to you. You hated boys, didn't you."
She rolls her eyes before speaking. "Bia, only one month is left for my birthday and it was a long time ago."
"It was just last year, isn't it, that your parents got called out in the school because you hit a boy?"
"How did you..?" She glares at me with a frown. "Anyways, I'm a changed person now."
"Okay, whatever keeps you happy, big girl," I say, pulling the blanket over my head.
"You're so boring!"
"But You're hilarious."
I woke up feeling cozy on my bed, and the plain white room was illuminated with the faint morning light passing through the lavender drapes.
Although it's very tempting to just remain on my bed which feels like heaven, I drag myself out because I don't want to change my early rising habit.
I tidy up my long hair roughly with my fingers into a high messy bun and pull over a grey sweatshirt. I go to the bathroom, put some toothpaste on my toothbrush and head back to my room.
As soon as I open the drapes and the door leading towards the balcony, the fresh morning breeze hit me, making me shiver for a while.
The view is just breathtaking. The sun is glorifying Mt.Kanchenjunga with its rays, making it appear golden, while the huge hills are deeper shades of blue over towered by the different strokes of colors running across the wide clear yonder. No matter how many times I see, it never stops astonishing me and the sound of birds chirping is only amplifying the beauty of nature. Everything looks so clean and peaceful. How can I not fall in love with this enchanting serenity?
I brush my teeth while enjoying my surrounding, but when I accidentally turn my head to the left, I see someone more beautiful to my eyes.
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AN: So, what do you think?
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