Johnlock
There he was with his brown shaggy hair and his unbuttoned shirt standing there just staring at me with his ocean blue eyes examining me bit by bit. He knew all about my life as soon as I walked through the door I couldn't understand why we were total strangers. But I had a slight feeling I had seen his beautiful cheeked boned face somewhere. That night after Id met him I searched him up and now I knew all about him. His name was Sherlock Holmes and he was somewhat of a celebrity he'd solved numerous of crimes for the police and others who came crawling for help. When I saw him he'd discussed to share a 2 bed house on Baker Street he said we would, have a land lady living in the box room downstairs. But some part of me was yelling out Yes go stay with him as it would start to get me to trust others. Only because I apparently have trust issues.
The next day, everything was rushed but I went I stood there waiting in front of 221b and hoped he would come. My prayers had come true and there was his huge muscular body it came out of the taxi. I didn't know what to say I started to feel hot and sweaty but I kept calm and checked the place out. It was messy but I could see a future here, there was also a skull on the mantel piece he said it was a friend I was starting to get a bit scared but I didn't do anything. As I looked around more, I dropped into one of his conversations with a man downstairs who begged for him so they could use his intelligence. You could tell that the slightly tanned man had rushed and he was certainly from the police department. Which made me wonder what sort of job did Sherlock have? I know he said he was a detective but, why isnt he working at the police station then? Sherlock ran upstairs grabbed his coat and was about to leave but he stopped and blankly stared at me, I loved his eyes so much I felt hypnotised. Uncertain he asked me Youre a doctor an army doctor would you like to help me on a case with the examining? Of course I didnt reply but he knew I was coming so he went downstairs and counted by the door for when I came down. Stupidity for Sherlock sunk in and I felt bad for him so I listened to what he said and grabbed my stuff and we left, but when we left he had a smug smirk. In the taxi we didnt talk but I could tell he was trying to work out my emotions. Strangely, I started to panic which then turned to feeling tense for some bizarre reason I didnt want him to know, how I felt. Inside of me felt like a volcano ready to erupt and I let it all out. What I did next I thought was wrong but I didnt say sorry either I shouted at him I told him Stop it, Stop it now I know what youre trying to do Im not an idiot. He knew what I was talking about and the rest of the journey built up with guilt like a brick wall neither of us tried to knock it down, in fear of upsetting each other even more.
After the case people warned me about Sherlock saying that I should leave but my strong feelings towards Sherlock stopped me from listening. Because of what happened in the taxi Sherlock left without me and I know why but I still didnt like being alone. Without him I realised how much I had warmed up to him and that I shouldnt get anymore deeper with my feelings towards him. Mostly because if I got to close with him theres a high danger of getting hurt. My heart sort of stopped for a minute or two when I thought like that about Sherlock.
Back at 221b, when I got in Sherlock seemed to have been crying but when I got further into the room hed rubbed his eyes. Again we didnt talk and because of this I got fed up he was being such an annoying drama queen. Even though I knew why he wasnt talking, it was still irritating to watch. So I slowly climbed the short amount of steps leading to my bedroom.
As I was sleeping in the middle of the night I felt like something had crawled into my bed, on high alert I got up and checked under the covers I couldnt see anything it was too dark.
Dont worry I found the problem in the morning, what had snuck into my bed it was only stupid Sherlock. The most annoying thing was that because I was so small he took advantage of that hed hugged me so tight I was like one of those small teddies being cuddled too tight you felt like you were suffocating. And because I shouted so loudly yesterday my voice had gone.
Great just great I thought to myself I couldnt kick him or move him as he was too heavy and if I did wake him up he would of put his leg on top of me. Which I dont want to imagine just yet.
Luckily, Mrs. Hudson had come up to do the laundry so I decided to throw something down the steps into the living room, by using my only free hand. Well it worked but Mrs. Hudson still thinks were a couple and when she came up she said Oh Im sorry dear dont let me ruin your fun Ill be downstairs just call me when youre ready for me to take the laundry
Im now confused and speechless like couldnt she see I was trying to shout at the women and she couldnt even indicate that I needed help. Also she just cant assume that were a couple but Im not complaining about it.
Finally, Sherlock woke up and was completely oblivious to what had just happened and just started talking about the next crime to solve together well thats where things have to change. In that space of time my voice had come back. And I spoke my mind.
Sherlock are you out of your mind seriously youre in my room without a top on sleeping in my bed and just completely forgetting about how I barley know you. Now I understood the problem Sherlock was alone and as hes not like any normal person he finds it hard to act and talk around others, so when he came into my room its because he didnt feel alone anymore. I felt like an idiot and because of what I did, Sherlock left again without saying a word. 6 hours had past and still no sign of Sherlock I couldnt call him as he purposely left his phone and not many people knew about him fully.
Until I had a plan Sherlocks phone surely had contacts saved under family? But as soon as I went on Sherlocks phone, Sherlock had arrived back. Guilt filled my head when I saw the disappointment on his face; he walked in slowly and gently pulled the phone out of my shaking hands.
For two days after that incident he started to play sad music on his antique violin, I knew Id let his trust down he must of thought I was some sort of villain as he had a mind of a child, at times. That night the mood had changed and Sherlock was getting frustrated I tried to calm him down as he started to shoot at the yellow tinted smiley face on the wall. I couldnt understand why he was acting up in this way but I was just glad Mrs. Hudson wasnt here. When hed stopped he dropped the gun dramatically onto the floor and stared at me with a sort of Come here look so I came to him and said yes? Sherlock had moved close so close I could feel his soft hot breath tingle on my skin. He whispered into my ear calmly John Im sorry Ive disappointed you and that Ive done stupid things to you next time just tell me to stop, promise me John youll tell me to stop!
Speechless this man was acting like some sort of punished criminal crying out for you to forgive them.
After that moment Sherlock tried to hug me and because of my not so mutual feelings for him I allowed it. He was being gentle with me like I was something precious to him.
Time passed it had already been a 3 weeks staying with Sherlock and things seemed to be awkward I think Sherlock figured out that I didnt just want to be friends. I tried to convince him to give up trying to figure out my emotions for him but I could tell it was too late he started to stare at me, and always check were I was. He was like a guard dog he wouldnt allow anyone he thought wasnt good enough to come near me. And if someone touched me hed get jealous and walk away or try to stare down the person so they would get so freaked out and just go away.
Sherlock finally decided to get the truth out of me and said John Im flattered I really am and whatever you what to do next with our so called mutual friendship is up to you but dont forget I know when people have feelings for someone. DONT YOU EVER FORGET THAT!
It happened I grabbed his arm before he ran away like a coward and I kissed him I actually kissed him. My heart was like a race horse my body felt loved, my blood pumping rapidly in my veins and I finally felt happy. That was the Best time with Sherlock Holmes!
Time passed but Sherlock didnt seem to have changed and I couldnt understand where I stood with him. He was allowed to sleep with me and hug me but something was preventing him to love me. Why? Thats what I planned on finding out I know its hard to try and get Sherlock to say his emotions as he says, Its a sign of weakness John nothing useful comes of it
Well it took me 5 days to find out the problem and when I found out I didnt like it at all sadly, Mycroft was back ready to be the overprotective, nanny for Sherlock again.
Upsettingly, I told Sherlock that Mycroft was back and Sherlock being a so called over intelligent person he just dodged the conversation. Me being me I just sat there and read the newspaper. Luckily, Sherlock had learnt my new strategy which if he dodges something I will ignore him all the time Im there, until he spills what he needs to tell me.
At first Sherlock was reluctant to say anything but he then fessed up to me he said John I knew you would find out sooner or later but Mycroft is not anything to me at this precise moment. In other words Sherlock was telling me to forget about it and back away so I did and because I did he then decided, now Ive done what he had asked he would be loving towards me.
This didnt bring me down but I had a slight feeling that Sherlock also thought that Love was a weakness and I think Im right.
Later on that day the worst happened Mycroft decided to make an unpleasant visit to see us and Sherlock went into an angry bull that had been let out of its pen, Mycroft was the red flag to set him off.
Mrs. Hudson and I kept are distance away from them both to give them some space to talk. Which set Sherlock off even more he couldnt understand why I had left him it then turned into him trying to grab my arm so I would come back. Something was wrong Sherlock would never act like this unless....Just as I thought I went into his room, in the draws where needles. And he had taken morphine this must have been to try and escape the whole problem with Mycroft. Why can I never trust him!
Defiantly not going to keep my hopes up from now on. Im now in my room trying to think of how I can get Sherlock to tell me about his emotions. Sherlock is still trying to grab me whenever I pass him and Mycroft is telling him to stop acting like a child. Poor Mrs. Hudson she doesnt know what to do I think she is now downstairs hovering, too drown out the noise.
Finally, Mycroft has left but Sherlock is still in a stroppy mood like a teenager who didnt get what they wanted. Obviously, Mycroft had said something he didnt want to hear so hes now having a fit about it which is quite sad really; hes 37 and having a sort of tantrum.
Oh dont worry about the morphine Ive thrown it out of his bedroom window. If he finds out though, I dont want to be left alone in the house with him.
Too late nothing can be unnoticed by Sherlock Holmes the idiot who only notices his important things. Hes now giving me his death stare. JOHN WHERE HAVE YOU PUT IT TELL ME NOW YOU DIDNT DO WHAT I THINK DID YOU! Trying not to get him all wound up again I told him what I did which I think that was actually the worse decision.
Instead of him accepting what I had done he did the complete opposite he tried to leave so he could get more but I wouldnt allow it. There I stood blocking the door I told him if he goes and gets more Ill leave and never come back. Then he just froze and said I need it John it helps me forget but I need you more and he walked back upstairs, fell asleep in my room.
Whilst Sherlock was sleeping I crept out I really wanted to know why Mycroft was back so I texted him so we could meet up. As usual he sent someone to pick me up and drop me off at some unknown place. When I got there Mycroft said Youre probably wondering why Im back well its because Im concerned about my little brother of course I didnt believe him so I replied Why are you actually here? You had two months to come see Sherlock and you didnt, so youre not that worried Mycroft actually responded with the truth The bravery of a soldier, alright John youre right I actually want Sherlock to drop one of his cases as it concerns the Government not him. Do you think you can do that for me?
I didnt have time to give an answer as Sherlock was texting me like mad but I think I will try to get Sherlock to drop this case not for Mycroft, But for Sherlocks well being.
Slowly, I tried to sneak back in when Sherlock wasnt looking but it didnt work he instantly turned around, grabbing my arm in the process so I couldnt move. Scared I just stayed there he tried to make sure I wouldnt move at all and if I did then he would hold onto me. What was he doing I couldnt tell. He was just staring at me and holding me. Im guessing he could tell I was worried / scared but that didnt stop him. Maybe he was trying to tell where I had been but I couldnt tell Im so confused.
After 4 minutes of complete awkwardness he let me go and stomped off to his room and slammed the door behind him. 1hr had passed and he was still in his room I got worried and decided to go and check on him, at first I couldnt see him but when I did I wish I didnt. Right in the corner of his room he sat there drinking really strong beer till he was completely tipsy. He must have got it while I was talking to Mycroft which isnt very trustworthy and I hate it. Before he could drink anymore I swiped it out of his hands but he wasnt impressed.
So he decided to chase me whilst wobbling all over the place. I ran into my room and stood behind the door making sure it was closed. I knew he wouldnt hurt me but I also knew he wouldnt go away unless he got what he wanted.
When he climbed those steps I shouted STOP! Im worried. He listened and sat by the door crying I came out and he hugged me then carried me into my bed. As usual he took advantage of how small I was and started kissing my neck as a sign of affection a bit like a dog. I think that was him trying to say sorry. Next morning, something had changed in Sherlock he woke up all perky thats probably because I said I will do the shopping not him. He hates shopping he doesnt like the fact that stupid people just stand there in a queue waiting. Mycroft has texted me to see if Sherlock has dropped the case but he hasnt yet I dont know what to say. But at the moment Sherlock is more focused on how many times Lestrade has now been coming to us for help with murders. I know Sherlock cares about me to much but sometimes he treats me like Im some sort of idiot. Today has been weird Sherlock has been staring at me all round the house and when I was out of sight he would just sit down on his chair and puts me , on his lap and turns on that 80s telly. I dont know what to do anymore Sherlock just thinks Im a child who wants to be protected all the time by being close. But I dont! It could also be to do with the fact I keep double checking everything in his room.
And as Sherlock had just got comfy on the chair with me of course Mycroft had come up to speak to us. Asking us about how the cases are going. Sherlock freaked he grab hold of me still carrying me annoyingly, and tried to go into my room. Sadly, Mycroft had blocked the door and was being an idiot he told Sherlock to put me down so they could talk in private .I agreed. Sherlock didnt want Mycroft near me. Then Mycroft called him a child and Sherlock had a hissy fit by shouting at him. I couldnt move or do anything so I just fell asleep. Which was a bad idea as Sherlock kept kissing me to see how deeply asleep I was. After I had slept Mycroft had threatened Sherlock that he would command him to drop the case instead. But Sherlock wasnt having any of that and wanted to show his dominance so he placed me on the sofa. And before Mycroft left Sherlock pinned him to the wall and dropped him so he fell. By then I heard the huge bang and woke up Sherlock kept telling me to go upstairs to sleep hell be there soon but I denied. I tried to help Mycroft up but Sherlock didnt allow me he said that Mycroft should be more careful about what he says and what he actually does Mycroft left leaving a note with a warning on it, and without saying Sherlock Im not your enemy I came to talk like an adult yet you still deny my offer so i will defend it in any way I need to
Out of all of that all Sherlock gave me a blank stare and a cold shoulder for trying to help.
Ah I woke up feeling refreshed this morning as Sherlock wasnt there to suffocate me I went down the stairs and he was obviously out. Today was a day with worry free but thats what I thought until more drama started already Mrs.Hudson, came up crying giving me the phone. The person calling was Lestrade turns out Sherlock went out last night got high and drunk which isnt a surprise but he had got into a fight. As I strolled into the station I could already hear Sherlock yelling saying he wanted his free call.
Lestrade told me Mycroft had offered to bail him out but for a price he needs to leave this case alone and to make things worse, if Sherlock didnt get bail he would be charged with either community service or up to two years in prison. But him being the idiot he is he said he wouldnt serve the sentence or fine which leads to bigger punishments. I asked if I could speak to him I was only allowed 10-15 minutes. Sherlock saw me and said John your here no go home I dont want you here. No I said and proceeded to reply further For once you listen to me! not your stupid brain you cock, me, you are going to leave this case so I can have you back I promise I will find a case just as interesting please for me What he said next hit me like a knife John I wont lose to Mycroft and I certainly will never give up on a case this interesting if you sign that paper you might as well be an enemy
Everything hurt like Id just been shattered into little pieces I wanted Sherlock out but I didnt want to lose him. To make things even harder he purposely kissed me. I had to do it I didnt want him in there I dont care if I was his enemy at least I would see him. When he got out I was about to leave but he got in the door. All he did was stare at me and my luggage with confusion I didnt think he actually wanted me to go. My foot was just about to get out the door with my first trunk but Sherlock grabbed it out of my hand and chucked it back in doors. Every time he does something to make my blood boil Why are you doing this you said if I signed that paper I would be an enemy to you so Im leaving so you dont have to worry about being betrayed anymore The next thing I remembered was laying in my bed with my luggage at the end of it I went downstairs and Mrs. Hudson had come in with a bag of needles with one of those yellow toxic bins, I thought something dreadful had happen to Sherlock so I burst into his room. The first thing he said was John if you wanted to see me that badly you should have said but honestly go back to bed Ill give you your last sedative in a minute At first I thought I was having a nightmare but it wasnt I dont understand what happened? Sherlock what happened why cant I remember anything and why are you giving me drugs? Silence filled the room and all there was, was a sigh John you had a panic attack you worried yourself so much about me and you were so angry that you fainted I fell into tears and the doctor said I had to give you two sedatives to help calm you, Im sorry John if I knew what I had said made you that worried I wouldnt of said it Youre an idiot why wouldnt I be worried if the man I loved called me an enemy, sometimes I nearly consider the fact you might not be human All i did was go back to sleep and allow Sherlock to give me my sedative nothing else not even a kiss.
I grew tired that very next morning I had made myself some pancakes with honey and even one of those homemade herbal teas, when youre feeling ill. I read todays news paper in peace. Until Sherlock comes in casually with MY laptop which is supposed to be password protected. What are you doing with my laptop its password protected? Dont worry John Im only looking at your emails But there my private emails so give it back! Sherlock got up and took my laptop into his room and locked the door he really is so annoying. He told me that he wanted to know why I wasnt talking to him as he had already said sorry. All I said was that I was only being silly but I needed my laptop back but because I sounded so desperate, Sherlock grew interested as in why I was desperate. Finally, he came out after an hour and handed my laptop back to me with a grin. Then he walked out the door with a skip. I looked on there to see what he had done and he had emailed Mycroft saying a lot sexual things about me. Im now ready to shoot him if need to.
That night I heard the door creak open slowly and I knew exactly who it was I suddenly jumped out and scared Mrs. Hudson half to death. In the background I could hear Sherlock laughing as he knew I thought Mrs. Hudson was him. Quickly I ran down the stairs with fury and booked a hotel for two nights as I didnt want to go back the next day after either.
When I woke up I heard a knock on the door it was my room cleaner but he or she I couldnt quite tell, had hand delivered my food I was very impressed. They came in setup my desk for me to eat but the weird thing was as soon as they had finished with delivering my food and setting up the table, they didnt leave and then I remembered how many outfits Sherlock had. It was him all I did was act normal it wasnt until he tried feeding me that I then couldnt take it. I felt so discouraged by the way he was acting he just wouldnt leave me alone. So I said What do you want Sherlock Im fed up of your pathetic games just for your own fun just do or say what you want and then get out but I regretted what I had said. His chest was pressed on the back off the chair and he started fiddling with my hair. At the same time he was breathing down my neck like a dragon, his teeth biting my ear. I didnt know what to do I felt like I had just been frozen solid and nothing could move. Slowly his hands were going onto my hips and he swivelled the chair round I tried so hard to get up but ended up falling into his arms where he started feeling up and down my spine. My body was feeling hot and flustered and I wanted this stop before it became more intimate. But in his presence I felt calm and relaxed, I knew I could trust him his hands slowly coming to the front and being so delicate so gentle.
We ended up going a bit too far but someone was certainly happy with the experience. He woke up all perky whereas I felt pain. Most of the day was him carrying me round for outings which was so embarrassing and the only insult he could think of was John I know youre old but mobility scooters are just too much granddad Now I want my gun. At least he was happier and we had taken the next step but the burning question was where me and Sherlock actually partners, or am I just for fun?
Today was just me and him thats all I wanted it the rest of the night was just affection and Him making me teas, I could tell he felt bad about the insult/pain but found it funny as well which I could understand. The day after we went back to 221b were I rested but Sherlock seemed concerned he told me he was popping out for a bit, but the sun was starting to set. And I grew worried; he came back shortly after with some shopping but something seemed off. First off he hated shopping and he would only suddenly leave if he was thinking about something.
That night he didnt want to get too close maybe he was questioning about us. But as I closer he didnt smell right he smelt like ....... drugs he went and got morphine so I hit him. He got up so quick he grabbed my hand just before I was about to touch him he rolled me onto my back and held me as tight as he could. All I could make out through my anger was John why did you hit me that is childish an uncalled for! so I replied Where did you go actually druggie wait sorry you dont like that term but thats where you went honestly to get more, what is the point of me when you wont tell me you need me is it because you dont love me?
His face fell and he let go of me and I shut him out of my room. Why does he just keep playing with my emotions? I cried for hours to the point where my pillow became a puddle. All I ever wanted was to care so much about someone that I would be willing to die for them, but if I knew that there was this much pain I would have just sped right out of that path. My lover wants me but it always feels like he leaves me. Every day is just drama that we dont need and it all leads to one thing heart break. I know Im a soldier and Ive been through a lot worse but this is unfamiliar territory.
Again the door slowly creaked open and I just guessed that it was Mrs. Hudson but no it was Sherlock. John I do...love you honestly but I dont think my...love and youre...love are the same thing so I want to know John if you want to be my...boy.....never mind He kissed me and went back to his room. Was he going to say boyfriend?
But what does he mean our loves are different we both love each other is there actually a difference. I wanted to ask but I couldnt bear the thought that he might have said that to put me off of loving him. After all weve gone through I still wont leave him. He came back after a few minutes and laid beside me humming. What do you mean by our love is different? John its simple Im more protective affectionate love...where as yours is more relaxed and talking I thought for a moment but I still couldnt quite understand. But I...love you and we are together and I cant quite leave you alone Slowly, he turned sideways to face me and placed his hand on my heart and said I will always...love my little soldier John because he has a big... Before he said it I gave him a glare he smiled and held me tight.
Mrs. Hudson made as breakfast this morning as she was bored I dont blame her she is mostly cooped up here tidying for us. Sherlock dear your brother phoned he wants to speak with you at his office Sherlock looked amused and looked unbothered Mrs. Hudson please inform my brother that I plan on doing no such thing, as me and John are spending time with each other and my soldier is always more important I was so frustrated I was his soldier and I certainly wasnt planning to do anything with him today. Sherlock Im not youre soldier and Im actually busy this afternoon No youre not busy John I cancelled youre appointment with that job I re-arranged it for Monday