Lee Jiwon's POV
It's been two weeks since that day. I couldn't forget about it but still, we are not yet labeled. I guess we have mutual feelings, but I never nor did he ever opened the topic of the next level of our 'relationship' knowing that I'm still not ready. I can't understand myself why I still can't see myself dating him. Jimin proved a lot; actually, more than enough reasons for me to trust him and be with him.
Sighing, I picked up my phone and read the message from him.
Jimin:
I'm on my way. See you, beautiful ;)
I smiled and looked at myself on the mirror one last time. I'm wearing everything that Jiree Unnie gave me ㅡ not that I'm expecting that something will happen between me and him ㅡ and I did my make up lightly that showed a natural glow effect. The red dress hugging my body perfectly which the color matching perfectly with my fair complexion, and my three inch black stilettos; my get up makes the impression of innocent but sexy which also matched the big curls that I did with my hair. I also have little jewelries with me to accentuate the dress.
Clutching on my purse, I walked towards the living room and waited for Jimin to knock on the door which didn't take really long. I stood up from the sofa and opened the door and was welcomed by a Jimin dressed up in suit and tie with his hair that was fixed to show his forehead. He smiled and I felt my heart fall. "You look so gorgeous," he commented after checking me out from head to toe. "You look handsome," I told him.
He reached out his hand after I locked the door of my apartment and we left while holding hands until we reached his car.
As we arrived in the location, a well known hotel which actually belongs to them, a lot of guests were already present. Conversations here and there, people's voices surrounding the four corners of the room, some are laughing, and some are happy to see each other. I held my purse tightly and gazed at the people around dressed with expensive clothes in different types. I remember the last time I went to a party like this. It was my father's birthday celebration before my parents separated.
Different people greeted Jimin which somehow made me feel awkward. I silently stood beside him while he was holding my hand and I tried to avoid making eye contact with those who talked to him. Some cared about my presence though and asked about me if I was Jimin's girl. He introduced me not as a friend nor his girlfriend, but he told people that I am someone special to him.
It's complicated. Maybe that's how I can label us right now. We like each other, we hold hands, and we even kissed but we're not yet together.
We finally reached the table where Jimin's family was seated. I politely greeted his parents and then pinched Jihoon's cheek right after he attacked me with a tight hug.
"Oh my, you look so gorgeous, Jiwon," his mother complimented. I shyly smiled and thanked her, blushing from their compliments.
"Jiwon-ssi! Omo, look at you!" Jiree Unnie appeared and gave me a hug. "I knew you'd look amazing!"
"Yeah, thanks," I simply replied, not knowing what else to say. She introduced her husband to me and I politely reached out my hand and bowed. They left after to entertain guests and we finally took our seat.
I couldn't stop myself to look around. At first, it was difficult to adjust from the new life that I have now with the life that I used to live in as a kid. Although I was taught to be simple since I was young, this type of events cannot be avoided since my father belongs to a wealthy family, runs his own company, and interacts with rich people who wants my father to design their company building or the establishments that they want.
At my young age, I was taught to be a social butterfly in behalf of a good image for my parents and for our family. Prim and proper, a perfect daughter, elegant... name it. They taught me to be like that which I kind of still apply until now. But I am not as perfect as they want me to be because how can people consider a stripper 'proper'? And they could never.
The usual, it was boring. I do hate parties to be honest especially formal parties with rich people in it. They all talk about business, brag about their money, and lastly, most people here are fakes.
Clam chowder as an appetizer was served as a live orchestra started to perform. If I'm not mistaken, I think the others are here too since I saw Namjoon, Jin, and Taehyung earlier pass by but they happen to not notice us since they are sitting in a table with I assume are their families.
"Oh, have you talked to Architect Lee Yangwon about the planned hotel in Jeju?" I heard Mrs. Park ask her husband.
Lee Yangwon?
"Oh my, speaking of him!" Mrs. Park stood as soon as she saw the said man approach them from behind. We were sitting opposite to each other by the way.
Mr. Park stood as well and the three of them happily greeted each other. I couldn't care less about their conversations and stared at the man, tears on the verge of flowing down my eyes.
It's been ten years... Appa.
"Excuse me," I told them, not even daring to look back at my father and immediately grab my bag and walked away, pacing up. I'm not ready to see him after ten years. The man who left me ten years ago stood just before me that moment. I could not believe my eyes.
My feet brought me outside the garden just in the west part of the hall where the event was being held. I took a sit on the bench and finally let go of my tears to ease up my aching heart. The wound that I thought was healed opened again after I saw him. I remember again the night when he pushed me away after I begged him to stay. The night where I felt like I wasn't his daughter. I remember those happy and warm eyes of him earlier as the total opposite of the eyes that were staring at me that night.
Why here and now in all of the time and places? How will I escape from his presence? I can't face him yet. I still feel the hate and fury years ago.
But he did not change much other than looking quite aged than the last night I saw him. His hair had turned salt and pepper but he still carried his authoritative aura.
"Hey, you're crying again," Jimin said softly as he squatted down in front of me and caressed my cheek. "They were just about to introduce you to Mr. Leeㅡ"
"He's my father." I said and looked him in the eyes. He looked shocked but immediately washed off the surprise in his face and hugged me. "I don't want to see him yet. I'm not ready or I think will I ever be. It's been ten years but I can still remember the pain when he left us for another woman. If I stay in the party, I might just bump into him over and over again. I don't know if he'll recognize me but still, I think I wouldn't be able to hold back my tears. I just can't, Jimin. Iㅡ"
"Hush," he said then suddenly pecked my lips. I felt my cheeks burn up until my ears. I looked at him in surprise but he softtly smiled and pinched my cheek. "I understand. Let's leave the party then." He stood up and reached his hand out. "Come, let's go. I'll just tell noona the you are sick."
I stared at his hands. I don't want to go home yet but I want to leave this place. I'll only feel lonely at home and feel empty because Dawon is still in his school. Anywhere, I'm fine, as long as I am away from my father ㅡ away from the first man who broke my heart.
"I don't want to go home," I said, almost inaudible. "Okay, let's go to my house. Surely the party will end by one or two in the evening. Let's go?" He lightly moved his hand again as if reaching for something. I weakly smiled and held onto his hand. We started walking away from the venue, using another route to go to the parking. Using his free hand, he dialed Jiree Unnie's number. "Noona, we left, sorry. Jiwon doesn't feel well and I have to take care of her... uh huh... yes, I'm sorry. I'll make it up to you, promise... okay, I will. Thanks. Love you, noona," he ended the call and shoved his phone back on his pocket.
He opened the door of his car for me before he sat on the driver's seat. It was silent, but I feel comfortable, calm, and secured as he held my hand. He only used his other hand to drive. The busy city of Seoul at night seen outside, the high buildings, classy establishments and others, I remembered him again. I remember again the pain of being abandoned by my father. I wonder, does he even still remember how I look even just as the thirteen-year-old-girl that he left? Does he even still remember that he has a daughter and a son? Ten fucking years, he never bothered to at least check on us. He never did and it made me pretend that he is dead. In fact, a dead person is better than him because I still feel my mom's warm love and support but him... I can't even remember.
The hold of Jimin's hand on mine tightened for comfort. "You can tell me the story later. It might help in any ways to lessen the pain." I looked at him and smiled, not minding my tears that were already ruining my make up. I'm really happy to have Jimin by my side.
Arriving in their house, we stayed in the living room, drinking champagne as I told him my story. It felt so nice. I feel like the burden in my chest faded in every single word of my story that I let go. I'm crying so hard in his arms but I couldn't care less. For years, I hid all of this and played tough because I had to and it became harder after my mom died. I have to be strong for Dawon. He was like my pain reliever. He makes me forget the pain and get my mind off it, not even knowing that the pain that those scars in life had left me still remains unhealed even after all this years.
"I don't think I can forgive my own father," I told him, slowly calming down. He never dared to speak but his ears were enough for me because I never knew letting go of this story of my life will feel so good.
His phone rang, making the both of us pull away from each other. "It's Eomeoni," he said and excused himself for awhile, leaving me sitting on the couch with my glass of champagne. I drank it empty and poured myself another glass before standing up and looking at the view in the other side of the sliding door, stumbling.
I've drunk a lot that the alcohol was slowly affecting my way of thinking. I am still aware of my doings like a sober person's memory but the alcohol was already affecting my body motion. I was only the one drinking a lot to be honest but Jimin did not stop me. I do drink, but I know my tolerance is not really that high.
A smile crossed my lips, following the little lights coming from the fireflies that reflected to the mini stone-formation falls in the small pond on their garden. I licked my lips and drank my glass of champagne empty, the bitter liquid sating my taste buds. I sucked my bottom lip and sighed.
He already knows me so well. We already even kissed but why are we still not labeled. I like him, Dawon does, and his family likes me.
But what if Jimin's family finds out that I'm a stripper, Jimin might become a shame in this very wealthy and known family of his. Jimin falling in love with a girl like me might ruin their reputation. I kept on trying to push him away, making him realize that I am not worthy of his love, but even so, he kept on pursuing me and he's willing to take all the risks of entering a relationship with me, even until now. He never forgets to make me feel so special and loved.
I have grown much feelings towards him. His perseverance and determination amuses me. Despite of the numerous times that I've pushed him away and friend-zoned him, he still kept on trying and he never got tired of that. He never gave up on me.
I sighed. Why am I even stopping myself? I like him.
I have decided to end Jimin's hardships. If he is willing to take the risks of being in a relationship with me, it's enough for me to allow him in my life as more than my friend. It's time for me to accept him as my lover; My lover that sees me as a perfect girl despite of my imperfections. Again, if he is willing to take the risks, then I'll take it as well.
I've made this decision so long, concluding every single thing of how our relationship may end. Those ways are engraved inside my head which is, if ever one of them may happen, pain cannot be avoided but the pain will be less than the pain that I will probably feel if I hope for a happy ending with him.
In this life, no matter what you do, you can't please all the people around you. A little bit of mistake is already a huge thing for them to criticize you. A stripper like me? I'd probably get worse of the worst if they learn about who I truly am. A slut? A prostitute? Whore? Name it. I'd receive them just because I work as a stripper when I don't even sell sex to earn. Yes, I do strip dances, but never have I ever allowed my clients to go beyond what a stripper and a client should do. Some pay me thrice the price, but it doesn't affect me as my dignity as a woman overpowers me. I cannot be treated like shit just because I'm a stripper.
"Sorry about that. Eomeoni was just asking if you're okay," Jimin said softly as he hugged me from behind.
With my eyelids half closed, I faced him and smiled. "You're drunk" He lightly tapped my cheek. I felt his warm flesh make contact with my cold ones, making me slightly shiver. "No, I'm not." I giggled. "Just a little tipsy. I'm fine."
"You sure?" I nodded.
"Jimin," I said, leaning forward to reach him but I stumbled, a little tipsy from the alcohol. He caught my body in time and his warm body sent warmth to my cold body. I felt relaxed that I ended up leaning my head on his shoulder. Damn, the alcohol is kicking in.
"Jiwon?" He called but I refused to answer. I heard him sigh before he carried me in a bridal style until we reached his room.
He laid my body on the soft mattress that smelled like him. His body hovering above me to position me properly. I opened my eyes and saw his face so close to mine. Smirking, I attached my lips with his plump ones, taking him aback. He pulled away but I caught his nape with my hand to stop him from going farther. I moved my lips against his until he responded to the way that I move my lips against his.
"Hey," he said softly, still leaving soft kisses on my lips. I held his nape and threaded my fingers on his smooth locks. I initiated our kiss to intensify, my tongue licking his lips.
He pulled away and cursed, "Fuck, baby." I can clearly see the want in his eyes. "You're drunk. I can't take advantage of you."
"I'm not drunk, Jimin. I'm really not." I insisted. My body is burning from the heat of our bodies coming together.
He sighed. "You look so hot in that dress. You just don't know how hard it is for me to control myself. You make me so crazy, baby. So crazy for you." He kissed my lips, this time a little hotter and deeper than before. His lips were so sweet and soft against mine and I found myself already drunk from his kisses. He pulled slightly away and licked my lips, asking for entrance which I gladly gave him. His tongue met mine. He groaned, the vibration adding pleasure in our kiss. He started sucking my bottom lip a few times as we caught our breaths and he continued to travel his lips onto my jaw, slowly finding its way onto my neck.
He pulled away, making me open my eyes. I stared into his eyes filled with lust but with a hint of hesitation. I'm moved by his concern even if he wants me very bad but I know what my body wants, and that is having him to touch every inch of me just like how he wants to. I want him tonight and that's for sure.
Nervous and scared, being that my virginity will be taken away but I know I won't regret it. It's Jimin. He is the one who will take it, and I just have this feeling of assurance around him.
I smiled at him and nodded, giving him the permission to go further. He smiled and took of his button-up shirt before kissing my lips again.
His hand traveled to my upper back, searching for the zipper of my dress. He zipped it down slowly and his flesh was touching my almost bare back, causing my breath to hitch and my skin to raise goosebumps from the sparks that his touch made me feel.
He pulled down the upper part of my dress to expose my chest before he decided to kiss my flesh there. Gently sucking and biting, his hand found its place on my thigh and he slowly pushed the clothing up until my butt then he squeezed one as if kneading it.
He pulled the cloth on my upper body lower, my red lace bra seen. I caught him bite his lip before unclasping my bra, leaving my breasts bare. He buried his face in between them, trailing wet kisses. I threaded my fingers on his soft and silky locks, slightly clutching on it as I feel the tingles running around my body.
The room temperature rose in every move that his lips and his hands made. They made my head spin and only pleasure was inside my head. I feel light-headed.
Jimin went lower and lower at the same time as my dress until he completely took it off, leaving me with only my red lace panties.
He pulled my panties off and made me spread my legs for him to have access on my genitalia. I puckered my lips to stop any noise to come out of my mouth as I felt his warm tongue sliding in between my folds. I feel shy to make any sound. What if I don't sound sexy and it turns him off?
His tongue working like magic, I found myself biting and sealing my lips harder with every move that his tongue made. Using the tip of his finger, he teased my hole before carefully entering it whole. A gasp escaped my lips.
Jimin inserted another finger inside my hole that I felt my opening stretch from his fingers' size. My wall was squeezing them. In and out, in and out, with a curl of his fingers and yet again penetrating me, he hits the sweet spot that sent me to moan out loud.
His hand continued to move in that way and with every second of his movement, the pace of his fingers' thrusts increased. It caused me to curl my toes and shut my eyes tight. I arched my back as I felt myself getting closer to my limit until his finger hits that spot again. I found myself experiencing my first orgasm as my body quivered from the sensation.
I laid my back down flatly on the bed, closing my legs together and sending my high away, panting.
He got off the bed and got rid of his pants. I gulped, seeing his very hard member standing proudly and it was touching his well defined stomach. I eyed Jimin carefully and fuck, I have a one hell of a meal standing before me. His sweaty figure made him even more hot.
Jimin bit his lips as his hands held his member and his thumb circled its tip before he hovered over me and owned my lips. As we kissed, he took a condom out on his bedside table. He pecked my lips, positioned himself, and opened my legs apart again before sliding on the condom on his big length.
He kissed my lips again then whispered, "Now, this may hurt but I promise you, I'll be very gentle," he kissed my forehead before pulling away.
I can feel the tip of his length poking my entrance. I closed my eyes, anticipating for the pain as his big member stretched me and took my virginity. Deep breaths in anticipation, slowly, Jimin entered my cavern. I bit my lip, feeling my hole as if being stretched apart. It feels uncomfortable, but there's no turning back.
Jimin entered me fully. He remained inside me for awhile, waiting for me to adjust on his length as he pleasured me by sucking on my nipple and using his hand to knead my other breast.
I whimpered as he started to move. With my nipple in between his teeth, he lets it go to plant soft kisses on my lips, my nose, and my cheeks. "Shh, it's okay," and another kiss on the lips. I smiled at him and nodded.
Jimin paced up a little and I tried again to stop myself from creating any loud noise which he noticed. "Hey," he slid his thumb onto my lips. "Moan for me, baby. It's okay," he encouraged.
My breathing was irregular from concealing my moans but he needed it so much that he increased his speed and penetrated into me deeper, earning a soft moan from me. He smiled, both of us still looking into each other's eyes.
"That's right," he grunted and thrusted into me again, causing me to moan another one. "You sound so fucking sexy," and he kissed my lips as he continuously rocked his hips.
I'm moaning and gasping and kissing him at the same time. It's kind of difficult to do but I love how it feels. I love how he feels against me.
"Shit!" He cursed and paced up. I moaned, my voice shaking from the contact. Wet noises and skin slapping noises filled the room with Jimin's groans and my moans.
"Ugh, o-oh yes," I moaned again, feeling Jimin's member hitting the right spot.
A sudden slap on my thigh made me elicit a shout-like moan as Jimin started to pound on me. He looked so hot while biting his lips as he did me good.
He thrusted in deeper and deeper. I arched my back as the stimulation was starting to take over my body and my head was spinning around and my eyes were also rolling back, which from that, I knew that I was yet again close to reaching my climax. "Jimin, please," I cried and tightened my grip on his hair. I've never imagined myself to beg at him like this but my body was desperate for more.
"Please what, baby?" He asked, biting his lip. Gosh, he looks so hot on top of me, doing me really good.
"Faster, please," I pleaded again.
And so he did. He moved his hips faster and harder. I opened my legs even wider and slowly, a knot started to form on my stomach. As he kept on hitting my perfect spot, I reached my high with multiple moans escaping my lips but Jimin still had not yet found his climax that I ended up a moaning mess with the over-stimulation driving me insane. With a few more thrusts, Jimin found his climax inside me. I knew that when he moaned multiple cusses as he moved his length inside me.
Panting, Jimin finally pulled his member out and took the condom off before laying beside me. With heavy eyelids, I looked into Jimin's eyes then hugged him tightly with my head rested on his chest as tiredness consumed my body. I felt him plant a kiss on the top of my head and he whispered those words that left me smiling until I fell asleep. "I love you, Jiwon."
~~~
Author's Note:
Ya'll tbh, I don't trust myself when it comes to smuts but I do hope it was okay. Please let me know your thoughts. I'd really appreciate it!