Bret was staring at her, his mouth wide open in a shocked grin, and she couldn't do anything but stare back in horror.
She knew right then they everything that she had worked so hard to keep in the dark was about to be exposed.
"Am I really looking at Jeanette Arthur right now?" he said, stepping closer to her. She was frozen, suddenly aware of how naked she was in the presence of the guy who more than likely drugged her that night in the bar. It was clear him and his friends had already been drinking, and her heart beat loudly in her ears as he looked her up in down. "I knew you were loose, but I never took you as a whore."
His words cut her deep and she couldn't find anything to say. In all her days spent here, she had learned how to stand up for herself, to demand respect when men tried to shatter her dignity, but as her worst nightmare began to unfold, she couldn't find the words.
"Last time I saw you was the night of the video," Bret said. "When your little friend Shawn showed me up."
Jean's mouth was completely dry. He was the one who punched Shawn in the face. He was angry then, and it was clear he still was. He was loving every second of torturing her. She couldn't say a word if she wanted to.
His friends were standing around him, talking to each other in hushed tones. They looked frequently in her direction. He had an army behind him and she wasn't going to win this battle. It was over. This was the end of her reputation and her life as she knew it.
"You know, I thought you and I had something nice going that night, but then I come to find out that you're dating Shawn now? How cute is that?" His smile made her stomach turn. She barely remembered that night with him, and she felt sick that she had ever been with him at all.
When she watched the video, all she could see was herself. Of course Shawn was the reason the video went viral, but she had forgotten that Bret was in the video too. Shawn had showed him up, and his pride was damaged. Now he was relishing in the power he had over her, and this time, Shawn wasn't there to save her.
She was finally able to swallow and forced the words from her mouth. "You need to leave."
"We never got to finish what we started that night," Bret said. "Why don't we finish it now?" He sat down in the armchair behind him and patted his lap. His friends started to laugh and Jean felt like she was going to vomit.
"You're sick," she whispered, spinning around to look for security. Donovan was already looking her way. She desperately searched for anyone else, but Donovan started walking towards them.
"Something wrong?" he said as he approached. This was the first time they had spoken directly since she got him suspended.
"These guys," Jean couldn't even finish, trying to keep from getting hysterical. "They need to leave."
Donovan walked over to Bret and his friends. "What's going on here?"
"Nothing!" Bret defended, standing up at once. He still had that sick smile on his face. "We just wanted a lap dance from our good friend Jean."
Donovan looked to the guys and then back at Jean. He stared at her for a second, a look that sent shivers down her spine. "Everything seems fine to me," he finally said, and then he turned and walked away.
Jean's jaw might as well have been on the ground. She stared after Donavan in horror as he left her alone with these guys. There was absolutely no way this was actually happening.
"Wait a second," Bret said from behind her. "Shawn doesn't know you work here, does he?"
Her vision went black around the edges. Suddenly she was lightheaded, and she felt like she was going to pass out. He was going to destroy her. She knew he probably really wanted to hurt Shawn, but he was going to take her out in the process. When she turned to look at him, her throat was tight and her ears were ringing.
"This is rich," he said. "Shawn's girlfriend is a stripper and he doesn't even know it." She was absolutely panicking on the inside, and she could feel the tears welling in her eyes. She turned away before he could see, walking a few steps to look for Jackson, anyone, to save her from this horrible nightmare. She gasped when she felt a hard smack on her backside, whipping around to meet Bret's eyes, not able to believe what he just did to her.
With the worst smirk on his face, he collapsed back into the chair that was behind him. He didn't break eye contact with her as he took a swig from the bottle he was holding.
"Oh, right," he said, pulling a dollar out of his pocket and holding it out to her. "You can keep the change."
The sound of her palm hitting the side of his face felt like it echoed through the entire building. The gasps from the people around silenced the entire area, and suddenly everyone was looking their way. Jean froze in disbelief of what she just did.
For a second nobody moved, but then Bret shot up from his chair so fast his friends cut in to hold him back. Jean took a few steps back, unable to look away from Bret's furious face, who looked like he wanted to murder her right there. She had never seen such a darkness in someone's eyes.
"You," he said, laughing without humor. He tried to step towards her again, but his friends continued to hold him back. "You stupid bitch."
Brooke was suddenly in her face, and Jackson put himself between the two of them.
"Jean, walk away!" Brooke yelled, grabbing her by the arm and yanking her away from the scene. As Jackson dragged the raging Bret away, Jean couldn't look away as Brooke pulled her towards the back. She stumbled over her shaking legs, but Brooke continued to move her along.
"You're gonna regret that!" Bret screamed across the room, now silencing the entire club. The music was still deafening, but without the chatter, it seemed like it was silent. All eyes were on Bret as Jackson continued to shove him towards the exit, but he kept looking back at Jean. "You've really done it for yourself now!"
When he disappeared from view, Jean realized Brooke was still pulling her towards the dressing room. She ripped her arm from her grasp.
Her world was about to fall apart. Every bit of happiness she had experienced over the past months was coming to an end. When she processed what just occurred, her own anger came exploding to the surface.
"Where's Donovan?" Jean said, the rage inside of her unlike anything she ever felt before. She didn't wait for an answer before going out the front exit where she knew he'd be. She opened the door to see him smoking a cigarette against the building.
"What the hell is wrong with you?" Jean screamed, charging at him and shoving his chest roughly with both of her hands. He barely moved, but she shocked him enough to make him drop his cigarette.
"What's your problem?" he yelled back, now angry with his eyes fixed on her.
"Jean!" Brooke screamed, suddenly there. She got in between them and grabbed Jean's shoulders to pull her away. Jean tried to shrug her off and get back to Donovan, but Brooke was bigger than her and got in her face. She was stern and enunciated each word. "Get your stuff and go home."
Jean looked past Brooke at Donovan, but Brooke pushed her back towards the door. "Now, Jean!"
Jean spun around and marched inside. She couldn't believe the events that had just transpired. Her hands were in fists and she shoved past all the people that were inside. People were staring, still buzzing from the drama. Anyone who witnessed that ordeal was going to have a story to tell. The girls in the locker room were silent when Jean barged in. If they hadn't witnessed everything themselves, news had certainly travelled fast. She grabbed her stuff from her locker, threw it in her duffel bag, and walked out without saying a word.
As she marched across the parking lot towards her car, she tried her best not to look at Donovan. She was so angry, all she wanted was to be rid of this place. However, when she heard him laughing to himself, she couldn't help but turn around.
"This is funny?" She said, moving in his direction now, convinced she was going to hurt him. He took a drag from his cigarette and blew the smoke into the air, still smiling.
"It kinda is."
She knew what this was about. He had been holding back his aggression from his suspension. She had feared retaliation, and this was his way of doing so.
"So because you're mad about getting suspended, you're not gonna do your job?" Jean yelled. "You shouldn't have taken that photo of me, you creep!"
His calm made her uneasy and he just looked at her as he pressed the cigarette to his lips. "Keep it up, just you wait," he muttered so quietly she almost didn't hear him.
Not knowing what he meant, she was now completely filled with fear. She turned around and started to walk towards her car. She couldn't handle any of this anymore.
"You know," he said, calling after her. "You're the fakest girl I've ever met. I heard your boyfriend doesn't even know you work here."
She slowed her pace, the words cutting her to the core.
He kept going. "You act like you're too good for this place, like you're above us all, but the truth is you love it here. You need this place so you can feel like someone."
Her brain told her to keep walking, but she found her legs growing heavier and she stopped in her steps.
"I see you, Jean. Keep talking about the customers here like they're all perverts, when the truth is you live for their praise. You're desperate for their acceptance. You act like you're only here for the money, but the truth is you're absolutely living for it."
Her throat was tight again, and she forced herself to keep walking.
"Why haven't you quit yet, Jean?"
When she slammed the car door, she stared out the windshield. She felt like screaming, but she didn't. She felt like collapsing in on herself and breaking down into sobs, but she didn't. She let herself go numb.
This was it. Her lies had caught up with her. She had spent the last four months lying to Shawn and lying to herself. Maybe she never told him because she knew he would eventually leave on his own, just like Anthony. Deep down she knew it was only a matter of time anyways.
When he inevitably left her, what would she have in this world?
The scariest part was Donovan wasn't wrong. She was lying to herself. It wasn't even about the money anymore.
Outside of Shawn, this was the only place where she felt like she mattered.
***
After returning home, she pulled into her parking spot and couldn't move. She didn't have the energy or the motivation to get out of her car and walk inside. She just wanted to disappear. To fade into nothing. There was no coming back from this.
When her phone started ringing and she saw it was Shawn, she knew it was over. He knew. He was going to let her have it.
She felt like a zombie when she answered the phone.
"Hello?" she breathed, barely audible. Here it comes.
"Hey!" Shawn said. "I forgot to ask. Do you work tomorrow?"
She swallowed hard. He didn't know yet.
She hated that she was a coward. She couldn't tell him. She hated that she would rather him find out from someone else than from her. He didn't deserve that. He didn't deserve any of this. She was glad Anthony left her at this point- even he was too good for her.
She deserved the life she had. She deserved all the cards she had been handed. She was nothing more than a disgusting liar who worked at a strip club.
"Shawn, I think I need some space." She didn't let herself feel the words, because if she did, she would implode in on herself. Being numb was easier.
He didn't say anything for what seemed like forever.
"What are you doing, Jean?"
She needed to be more clear. "I don't want to do this anymore."
He didn't say anything for a long time. She sat there in silence, waiting for him to respond.
"I'm sorry Jean, but we're not breaking up."
His response surprised her, but she shouldn't have been. It was Shawn.
"Shawn, unfortunately it doesn't have to be a unanimous decision."
"Are you really trying to be funny right now?" He was angry, she could hear it.
She didn't say anything. She really wasn't, but she saw how her words came across as heartless. Probably because she was. There was nothing left of her.
Shawn continued. "Jean, we're past this. If this is because you feel like you don't belong, or you don't deserve me or whatever, you know that's a lie."
He would know soon. He wouldn't be upset anymore when he found out. He'd probably just quietly let things go and she wouldn't hear from him again. It was easier this way.
"Jean, talk to me."
She couldn't. "I have to go," she said, sounding like a robot. She hung up her phone. When she did, she kept all of the emotions locked away in a box where they couldn't reach her. She did what she needed to do. He was better off, and she deserved whatever became of her.
She opened her glove box to find the open bottle of whiskey she kept hidden there. She was going to need it, especially if she wanted any sleep. She didn't want to be conscious anymore.
She took a couple shots before crawling into bed. When she woke up in the middle of the night she took some more. If she had to be awake, she didn't want to be sober.
She woke up to her phone was ringing. She had no idea what time it was. She ignored it, but it kept ringing over and over. Finally she picked it up.
"Jeanette speaking," she said sarcastically. She could still feel the alcohol.
"Oh good, did I finally wake you up?" The old woman's voice sounded angry, and she squinted at her phone to see it was Terry.
"Yes you did," Jean replied, turning on her side and closing her eyes.
"You were scheduled to open this morning."
Jean laughed. "Whoopsies."
She had done it now, but she didn't care. Terry started yelling over the phone. "Do you realize I found out the store wasn't open because a customer called me? They were waiting outside!"
Jean was somehow finding amusement in this. "Hey, remember when you cut all my hours after six years and I had to find out by checking the schedule? That was so fun." She yawned. "Anyways, it was really nice knowing you Terry. Please don't call this number again."
She ended the call and turned her phone off. Tossing it across the room, she smiled knowing Terry no longer had any power over her. With that peace, she curled up and fell back asleep.
***
It was a long drive to the airport by himself. Shawn was still furious, and he didn't even want to talk to God about it. He was too mad, too frustrated, and he didn't want any logic or reasoning. He just wanted to be angry.
He was good at pretending everything was fine when he greeted Tyler and Zeiler. Both of them were tan and looked like they had spent lots of time in the sun. Shawn asked them all about their honeymoon. It was good to have a distraction from his thoughts.
"Enough about us," Zeiler said finally. "It was the best two weeks of my life, but we missed you guys. Why isn't Jean here?"
Shawn's jaw twitched, but he wasn't going to lie.
"We broke up."
Zeiler laughed, obviously not believing him. "Shut up, Shawn."
He kept going, his anger boiling over. "Over the phone, actually, so that was fun."
It was quiet as both Tyler and Zeiler stared at him. When Zeiler realized he wasn't joking, she exploded.
"What?!" she yelled. "When? Why?"
"Last night. She didn't say why."
"Did you go and try to talk to her?"
He was too angry for that. "No."
"Shawn, something is obviously going on."
He knew that. He knew she struggled, but he thought they were past that. He just didn't know she was capable of being so heartless like she was last night. She didn't even sound upset. He thought that they had meant more to each other, but maybe he had read things wrong. Maybe it was one sided.
Zeiler was leaned all the way forward over the ottoman so she was basically sitting between them. Her eyes were searching Shawn.
"You need to go find her and find out what happened."
"Zeiler, I think we both just need some space. I don't want to see her right now."
He wasn't expecting what she said next.
"Well, that's just too freaking bad, Shawn!" she yelled, now angry herself.
Shawn turned and looked at her in surprise, his eyebrows narrowed before turning back to the road. "Excuse me?"
"I understand that you're mad, I get it. But Jean doesn't have Jesus. You do!" She was yelling. "Love is patient, love is kind! Does that ring a bell, Shawn?" She was yelling. Shawn hadn't seen her this upset in a long time.
Tyler smirked out the window. "It just doesn't sound right when you scream it..."
Zeiler threw her arm over his chest to silence him, but she kept her eyes on Shawn as he continued to look forward at the road. "Love is not proud, Shawn. You refusing to do what you darn well know is right is just you being prideful because she hurt you! Man up!"
Shawn naturally wanted to resist what she was saying, but he knew she was right. He refused to talk to God, so God was using his cousin to scream in his face and get his attention. It was working.
"I know she's changed a lot, but think about how much darkness is in her life. Until she has Jesus, she has no way of fighting it off. Do you really think Jean is the kind of person to break up with someone for no reason? No. Something happened. The enemy has her in his grasp, and you need to go fight for her!"
Shawn took a deep breath. God had slapped him in the face, but he deserved it.
"You're right," he said.
Zeiler exhaled. "Really? Because I can keep going."
"No, I needed to hear that. Thank you."
Zeiler sighed and leaned back in her seat.
"You know, I'm glad," she said. "But sometimes it's really no fun that you two are so reasonable."
***
Shawn drove up to her apartment and saw she wasn't there. If he was being honest, he still was angry, but he knew if that kept him from trying to talk to her, he would be denying what God had clearly told him to do. So he was putting his pride aside.
He drove to the coffee shop to see if she was at work. He had tried calling her multiple times, but it went straight to voicemail. Her phone was off, but that didn't stop him from continuing to try.
When he pulled into the parking lot and didn't see her car, his anger turned to worry. What if something happened to her?
He casted fear aside and began to pray. He prayed that God would help him find her. He decided he would ask inside, to see if anyone she worked with knew where she was. Upon walking inside, he saw an old woman. It must have been Terry.
"Hey," Shawn said, walking up to her, thankful there was no line. "Jean isn't here, is she?"
Terry laughed like something was funny. She shook her head. "No, Jean is not here."
"Do you know when she is supposed to work next?"
Terry looked up at him. "Jeanette Arthur no longer works here."
Shawn froze. His mouth went dry. "Since when?"
"Since she didn't show up for her shift this morning," She smiled at Shawn. "Now have a great day."
Shawn's hands started to shake. Something was definitely very wrong. "Did you speak to her?"
"Young man, I have a lot of work—"
"I just need to know," Shawn said, talking louder than her and cutting her off. She truly was as dreadful as Jean described. "Did you speak to her? I wouldn't ask if it wasn't important."
Terry rolled her eyes and looked at Shawn. "Yes, and she was extremely disrespectful."
"Thank you," Shawn said, barely audible before turning around and heading out the door. If she spoke to her, that was a good sign.
He needed to find out Jasmine's number. Maybe she would know what was going on. Shawn walked across the parking lot when he heard someone call his name.
"Shawn? There's no way!"
Shawn turned to look directly at Bret Halliard, who had just pulled in.
He hadn't seen him since the night Bret had punched him in the face. He didn't have time for this right now. He needed to find Jean.
"Hey, Bret," he said dully, continuing to walk towards his car.
"Woah, woah, where you off to so fast?" Bret yelled. Of all times, why was he doing this to him now? God, help me out here!
"Bret, I can't talk right now."
"Why, you looking for Jean?"
Shawn stopped dead in his tracks, Bret now having his complete attention.
"I'm guessing she's probably at her other job."
Shawn continued to stare at him. What was he talking about?
"So I'm curious," Bret said, his mouth curving up into a smile. "Does she make you pay for lap dances, or do you get them for free?"