Apparently I found the ceiling way more interesting than I really should have.
I was practically writing an essay in my mind about the texture, how it was a slightly off-coloured cream and how the paint work was peeling because the rain was seeping in––which was made worse by the leak in the corner, behind the sofa but no worries, cause we stuck a bowl there to catch the drops––I know I was no expert on damp ceilings and shit like that, but–
“Ash,” I heard my name being called. I flew up-right on the sofa to find a short, tubby guy who looked like he was approaching his forties rather than being barely out of his twenties. His hair was slicked back against his head, where he slid his fingers through it over and over, as if the strands could even move a centimetre out of place from all the gel the guy slapped on it.
His round form was dressed in a casual tee and jeans, lacking the suave suit he wore a few nights ago. I was still wondering how the fuck he managed to get a hold of a suit like that. I half expected the coppers to come knocking round with a warrant to arrest for robbery. I wished they had, too. That would have been one way to get rid of the conniving little shit.
After realising it was Kyle, I slumped back down into the sofa with my head resting on the arm of the chair. My gaze returned to the ceiling. I pinched the bridge of my nose, willing the tension headache, that always accompanied the presence of Kyle, to make a quiet exit.
Kyle cleared his throat.
“Whatta you want?” I groaned, scrunching my eyes up. I heard the soft sound of footfalls nearing me, which surprised me so much that I had to double check it was, in fact, Kyle. He was like a god damn troll when he walked, the whole flat vibrated like an earthquake. Except this time, he was surprisingly light-footed.
I felt him tap my legs, which I immediately moved out of his touch. He seized the opportunity and sat his ass down on the cushion my legs were previously taking up. I had the urge to kick him in the face and break all of his teeth, but that wouldn't have gone down so well. I'd probably end up spending the night outside. So instead, I swivelled my body around until I was sitting up, feet firmly planted on the floor.
“I got a phone call today,” Kyle started, sounding disappointed like he was about to deliver bad news, “from that rich guy...Nate, I think his names was. You know, the guy I told you to impress? Quite well looking, nicely dressed–”
“Yeah, I know who you mean,” I muttered, cutting his rambling off so that he'd stop avoiding what he came here to tell me and just get it over with. I should have kicked him in the face after all, because either way, I was probably spending tonight outside. He was more than likely about to tell me that I wasn't good enough. That I did a shit job and he expected more from me.
“Yeah,” the guy must have been pretty distant or pissed off, since he didn't bring up the fact that I hadn't called him uncle. That was never a good sign. “So, I got a phone call today from him and...well,” I squeezed my eyes shut, waiting for the words, “he wants to become a regular.”
I stood up and swirled around, unable to stop my words from shooting out my mouth, “Look, Kyle, I swear I did everything. I let him do whatever he wanted and– wait, what?” his words only just registering inside my head. I blinked, trying to wrap my head around it. “Oh,” was the most intelligent thing I could think to say.
Kyle smiled a yellow, toothy grin as he hauled himself to his feet and tapped me on the cheek. “You did good, son. Real good.” A strong smell of body odour gushed in my direction. I fought to stop my nose from wrinkling up in disgust.
I raised one eyebrow slowly in disbelief. The moment only lasted two seconds before he returned to his usual, sleazebag-of-a-self. “Now, how much dosh did you earn today? Let me see the green,” he rubbed his hands together in anticipation.
I rolled my eyes and fished my wallet from my pocket. “Kyle, since the guy's gonna be a regular, doesn't this mean we're gonna get quite a big income?” he nodded. “Then can I not keep this as, like, pocket money or something?” I kept my tone light, like I was a kid asking their 'rents for a toy in a store. I wasn't sure how well this was going to go down, but it likely wouldn't work out in my favour.
Unsurprisingly, Kyle laughed. “Are you fucking kidding me?” he managed to say between the chuckles. “You're joking right? You're not that fucking stupid. What am I, ya father? No, this is the real world kid, now hand it the fuck over,” he flexed his fingers at me, holding his hand out as he waited for the cash.
I begrudgingly placed all my money, except a few twenty notes, into his hand. He snatched the cash from my grip and shoved it deep into his pockets. “Good lad,” he said, heading out the door. He paused just before he disappeared around the frame to say, “And Ash, what have I told you about calling me Kyle? It really hurts my feelings when you don't listen to me.” After that, he was gone.
I fell back into the sofa and muttered, “Fucked up son of a bitch,” under my breath. My eyes found the ceiling once again and I sighed. I didn't want to think about the ceiling any more. But if I didn't keep my mind trained on the ceiling, then it would drift off to thoughts of Logan and once I started thinking about him. Well. It was hard to stop.
I still hadn't wrapped my head around why he'd rented me in the first place, only to kick me out fifteen minutes later. I'm just tired. What a load of bullshit. Did he think I was an idiot or something? Maybe I didn't meet his expectations.
But if that was the case, he wouldn't have said he was gonna call me. Then again, a lot of people just say that and never follow through with it– shit, why did I even care? No, you know what, I didn't. I didn't care. I wouldn't give a fuck if he never called again.
“What are you thinking about?” I jumped in surprise, looking to my right to see Alex sitting beside me.
“When the fuck did you get here?” I diverted the conversation away from me, watching him with suspicion. I was a bit paranoid that he'd heard exactly what I'd just been thinking about, and mistook everything I'd thought and twisted it to make it seem like something different. God, I was starting to sound crazy.
“You were really involved with your thoughts there, weren't you?” Alex laughed. “I've been here for a few minutes, is all. So?”
“So...what?”
“What were you thinking about?”
“Nothing. Why do you care?” my reply was more of a retort, which Alex unfortunately picked up on.
Getting used to my abrupt mood swings, he simply rolled his eyes and sighed, “What's got on your tits today?”
“Nothing,” my voice fell back to its usual, lazy tone. “I'm just tired.” If Alex had been there on the night with me, at Logan's, he would have noticed the underlying mock.
“You haven't been out on the job for a few days. Does Kyle know?” I shook my head. “How come?”
“How come what?”
“You're not out on the job?”
“Because I don't feel like it.”
“Why not?”
“Because I'm tired.”
“You slept pretty well last night...”
“Alex!” I shouted. “What the fuck is with the interrogation? Lay off, will you?” don't get me wrong, I loved the kid and all, but sometimes he could be an annoying little fuck.
“It's not really an interrogation, Ash, but okay,” he muttered. I ignored the indirect comment about my intelligence and let go of the breath I'd held in ever since Alex arrived and yeah, okay, I'll admit that I was a little more than aware of our thighs touching.
“Hey, uh, I overheard what Kyle said to you. About that rich client being a regular,”
“You really shouldn't eavesdrop, Alex,” I cut in. My sentence mumbled into one really long word, like the words had stumbled into one another. I was surprised the kid even understood it.
“Can't help it. This flat's really small, you can't exactly have private conversations,” I heard him chuckle, and when I didn't respond he nudged me with his shoulder.
“Yeah,” I agreed, not actually listening or caring about what he'd said. That was until he flicked me on the ear, which stung like a bitch. “Oh, piss off will you,” I hissed as I batted his hand away.
“You're certainly the life of the party today. What's got you so down? Boyfriend not called?” he mocked, pouting his lips and cocking an eyebrow. If only he'd known how right he was. I erased the memory of those words, and decided not to ever, ever let them resurface again.
“I don't have a boyfriend,” I really hoped he had noticed the frustration building up in my voice, so he'd realise he was getting on my nerves and back off. But this was Alex, and Alex couldn't take a hint.
“So you're single then?” I didn't need to look at his face to know there was a sly grin working its way on there. Then I felt something tugging at my shirt, and it didn't take long to guess what it was.
His breath was on my skin, crawling down my neck as he whispered by my ear, “I know you only see me as a kid, but I swear I'm good,” I could feel his lips moving across my skin, he was that close. His hand slipped further down my shirt.
I wrapped my fingers around his wrist and held it in place, not wanting a similar situation as last time. Right then, I should have stood up and left. However, not having learned my lesson from last time, I ignored that thought and didn't let myself figure out why.
“Let me show you,” he continued even though I wanted him to stop. Then again, Alex wouldn't have known that, because I hadn't told him. I'd lost my voice, not caring enough to search for it. He ran his fingers through my hair with his other hand, resting his forehead against my temple. “Ash,” his voice was a little above a whisper, just short of a moan.
Shit. What was I doing? I hadn't moved his hand away, the only thing I'd done was keep it from moving any further south. I knew I wanted him to stop, yet it was like my body was trying to convince me otherwise. Like subconsciously, I wanted him to follow through.
I needed to sort all these obscene thoughts out. It wasn't normal for me to be like this. This wasn't me. I'd never felt this way in the two years that I'd been a part of this life. Every client was just a client. That was it. I'd never felt like I needed to be close to them. Like I needed to feel their lips on mine. Then Logan comes along and fucks up everything I thought I knew about myself.
Alex's lips were dragging against my skin, his tongue following suit as small moans rumbled through his chest. It made me wonder what was going through his mind, for him to be making those sounds without even being touched.
The hand clinging to my shirt, was fighting against my hold now, trying to make its way further south and prove to me that he was more than capable of making me feel good. I didn't have a single doubt inside me that he couldn't. It was extremely tempting to let go, but I couldn't let myself. This was Alex. This was fucking Alex. The kid who was like a little brother to me.
Then his struggling stopped and everything was still, before Alex's voice finally broke the silence as he said, “Ash, can I rent you?”
Then, like the flick of a switch, it was all clear to me. As if those words had finally pieced everything together. I didn't want this. I didn't want Alex. Alex was just caught up in the middle of me figuring myself out. I didn't know if it was the job, because I'd been in it for so long, maybe it was changing me. I mean hey, you have it up the ass that many times a day, every day, you're bound to start changing.
I wasn't completely certain I really liked guys. I wasn't certain if I liked Logan––though I was blaming him wholly for the confusion I was feeling––but I knew for a fact that me and Alex, we weren't anything more than close friends. Brothers.
Eventually, I managed to find my voice, “You're kidding, right?”